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I feel you, but I want to basically give you back what you told me. Because you are extremely right! Who gives a fuck about when people think negatively about you and shame you. You are a great person man, you really helped me out on my post and sure have many many positive traits that you can focus on. Don't focus too much on that kind of negativity, society can be unnecessarily mean sometimes, don't take it personally. I see that you are great and the rest does really not matter at all. You will find many people that see you the same way I see you. Just keep doing you. Somebody like me will NEVER shame you like this. I know you don't deserve that. Society sometimes doesn't know that unfortunately, it is what it is. We gotta live with it, and we can do this for sure ??

I'll do it ??

Yeah I will try to stop caring about society and everything that's wrong with it in my opinion, stop caring about negative stuff in general and focus on the positive, have more fun. I think one of my biggest issues with personal development is that every day I can only see what's going wrong, and not what's going right. After finally achieving stuff I don't think "Wow, well done!", my thoughts instead are "How could I have done it better?" It's extremely exhausting. Maybe I should stop focusing on personal development for a while and only focus on having fun... Thank you all for your replies, I really really appreciate it! ♥️

@Lila9 I don't know why everyone is saying that I only care about beauty, that's not true at all. Maybe I expressed myself badly in some text. I've rejected the most beautiful women I have ever met because they were toxic to me. What I think is that I should like how the woman looks, I should find her at least a little sexually attractive. From my point of view starting with a 6 out of 10, and yes everybody has their individual rankings. Or are you all telling me that it is wrong to choose women that I find attractive and from there find out if she fits to me for a relationship or not? What I'm seeing from many of you guys is that I should completely not care about her looks, so how should I then have sex with her when I can't even get a boner. What's the logic here. She is going to find out sooner or later that I don't like her looks. She will be sad and I will always think that I could have something better. I know character is more important than looks, muuuuuch more important. I've had two relationships, slept with about 13 women, I know that. But I don't think looks do not matter at all. Or is this my issue?!

@Chives99 Yeah I gave women and society in general way too much control over me and what I think... crazy to see this, feels like a different personality now. Why the fuck did I give them so much power, I don't understand yet. Have to find out. I already went to two psychologists, last year I've been to a psychosomatic clinic voluntarily for six weeks straight. Next time I see my psychologist I will talk to him about this topic. Might be interesting. Thank you for telling me this, I think I finally understood that it doesn't matter at all what women think of me, what they think of relationships or what they think in general. Like... at all, not even a little bit. I just need to have fun, let others have their fun as well (no matter how stupid their activities look to me) and keep an eye open to find a compatible woman through that process.

@integral I just talked to a friend and realized that I'm giving society way too much power over me. I thought it was only women, but it's society in general. As you just said: I'm unhappy that the world isn't exactly as I want it to be. This seems to be the whole issue. And yes I know that I have to accept reality as it is. Because it is what it is. What I can create or change as a human has limitations. So, stupid question... is there any particular way that I cannot see to accept reality, women, society etc. exactly the way as they are or "Just do it?"

@NoSelfSelf I know, that's why I created this whole post.

@Chives99 I guess I started thinking that people are worth more when they are in relationships or good with women from the beginning of my teenage years, where all of my friends had fun with girls on partys etc. and I was the shy socially awkward kid that was not as social as them because I played too much video games and was on social media all day. So most of the time I was standing alone somewhere and didn't know how to behave. My parents never taught me how to be social. That's what I had to learn by myself through therapy and now coaching. Until the age of 18 it was impossible for me to even look people in the eyes, I didn't know how to do it, it felt weird, I didn't know it was important, it was not even possible for me to do with my family or best friends. they even made fun of me then because of that and because I was always "skin picking" on my face, it was brutal... they had a group chat only talking shit about me, when I found out I confronted them, talked about it and now we're all still best friends. Now I can talk to strangers without any problems, skin picking is gone and much more. So yeah, I still think that being in a relationship is worth more than not being in one, maybe even because my parents always pressured me, wanted me to finally have a girlfriend... but I think that's normal. So does it make sense to stop thinking that people in relationships are worth more? And why exactly should I stop thinking like this, how can I rationalize this? My mind still sees some kind of logic behind this. It's obvious for example that women are more attracted to men who are already in relationships... there are many reasons for this.

@NoSelfSelf No, this sentence was just childish.

@NoSelfSelf Childish, but thanks for trying to help. I still appreciate your effort.

@Chives99 Good question, I can't remember who told me that I was worthless. I'm going to think about this. If I can find that out I'll try to see the reason behind why they said this and forgive them if I can...

@NoSelfSelf Nope, if most men wouldn't just think with their dicks, attractive women wouldn't get as much attention. Therefore women would question their self worth. When she has 100k Instagram followers sure she thinks that she deserves the world, even if the only thing she did was show how she looks. You say that I can't expect her to have sex with me because I've done much personal development work, but why can she expect that everyone wants to fuck her just because she looks good? In my opinion this is extremely unfair and that's what I hate about society. And no, she didn't get to know me. So she couldn't know what type of guy I am. She even came back to me after a few months but I rejected her because it annoyed me that she didn't give me time. This is the nr.1 on my No-Go list for women that I want to be in a relationship with. You're just assuming bullshit now.

@Chives99 But how to love when you have so much hate? And I know exactly what type of woman I want, I've had much experience with this. Plus this was all part of the Coaching process. Coaching was about personal development, self awareness and dating.

@integral Wow, thank you. Makes sense to search for places where women can be found that are interested in personal development. I was trying to go to places where women dress the same as me, listen to the same music etc. Coaching is finished now, so I finally have time to attend my yoga class again with less anxiety to approach women. Online Dating I'm going to start in some time again, problem is that I'm addicted to social media, I deleted Instagram etc. to reconnect with myself. Online Dating apps are not too good for me right now unfortunately. Over emphasis for beauty is a hard topic for me, I'm still trying to overcome this...

@Raze I will check it out these days, thank you.