helenaoftroy

Heeeeey everyone. DISCLAIMER: this is all personal experience. So, after a couple months of Leo and learning, I found myself in huge Ego corruption - my brain fired up with all information and I quickly and unknowingly assumed that I was integrating this info. This is very wrong. Everyone who hands out the info always advises you not to imbalance being and doing, and this is fundamental, but you should be careful not to wrongly interpret it. Learning counts as doing, this is a given, but also contemplating wrong (which I found to be too easy to do starting out) counts as doing, and half assing your meditation doesn't count as being even if you do it 2 times a day. If you feel your brain is being burnt alive, your meditation is not being fruitful and you should check in on it - even if you are doing it, odds are you aren't doing it mindfully. It is of course painful to meditate whilst your thoughts are out of control, but I believe it is also meant to be PEACEFUL and helpful. Strain is a given, but if you get strong negative emotions you are clearly NOT detaching, you are reacting. Hence you are not really meditating (because you are not really paying attention, you are just getting more and more involved). And if this happens to you and you carry on believing you are doing everything right, oh boy, are you completely fucked. I eventually realised all of this by getting some neuroticism red flags. Something worthwhile pointing out is that you won't catch this happening early on for the obvious ill-practice reasons, and it won't be until the frustrating point of noticing you're getting neurotic that you will. So, my personal trick has been to implement a strict rule of thinking in 24-48h periods. Not telling you to not be a strategic motherfucker, telling you that that takes maybe 1h a month of exclusive maintenance. If you know your goals and have laid out your activities to match them, you can stop fretting over decisions already made and just check in from time to time to see if you're on track. The rest of your existence is NOW. Right NOOOOOOOOOOOOW. Be a strict motherfucker on this. I'm still having a rough time... because knowing actually doesn't do anything for you, you need it engraaaaaved by insisting over and over and over. Also I'm a girl and all the logical Leo mind burns my soul. Greatest fluke of my life to have found him, buuuut clearly something was flying over my head. I needed feeling. (Now for the real piece of practical advice: ) Blessing might've come in the form of the great B.K.S. Iyengar. As a normal unconscious ego, if you're to get anywhere you need: focus, practice, CONSISTENCY and an outlet for everything you're attempting to purge, lest it build a theme park inside your brain you'll ride on to your demise, since it masks fairly well as "integration". Physical exertion and hanging out with my friends (extrovert) do it for me. Enter yoga. If you think it's weak as a practice... ahahaha well... do your homework. If you won't try it because you think it won't make you look ripped and care more about that, you're off balance anyway - plus that really gets done with proper nutrition. It's not a girly fairy practice. It will work exactly all the things that need most working, both in mind and body and it will really help you center and stay centered. This master has two books: Light on Life and Light on Yoga. They are my next heavy bet as a non-intellectual, being-centered tool in getting my bearings properly at once, and I suspect it'll save me a lot of time over time. I am in decent shape and have some reasons for having to start out at home for now, but don't think it's the best way at all - if you can, find a PROPER studio, that'll give you proper attention and alignment corrections. I will end with harmlessly saying that, if you have made your decision. If this is it and you know it is it and you're taking the path and never looking back: Stop reading threads. Stop coming here at all unless for something specific you need. Stop hoarding playlists of videos you should watch Stop bucketlisting all the books you should read. Remember that you must believe and trust your work if you are to purify yourself at all. So do. Trust that you will get access to the right things at the right time. All the planning you had to do is already done. Now go and shut off Leo's smiling face and don't even acknowledge his existence or this forum's for as long as possible. If you strain with this - that is already a red flag. If you are not ready to take this activities mindfully and make them disappear at will, they will make you their bitch (if you sit on the toilet with your phone in your hands it has already happened). Hopefully after this advisory post, I'll be able to follow my own advice. TL; DR: If you want real progress as a newb, DETACH from ALL sources of info and think in 24h-48h periods only. Anything beyond that you immediately shut off. And at any moment you are able to, reduce that to 5h periods, 4, 3, 20 minutes. As short as possible. Yoga is one of the best centering tools, and the books Light on Yoga and Light on Life by B.K.S. Iyengar point to being gold mines.

Although I must add. If this work becomes too forceful for you that you cant just be, like he says on his last paragraph, then maybe you're fighting against the rails. How to know if you're driving your train off the tracks or if the tracks are supposed to be rough? Don't know. But I theorize to myself that you cant really derail yourself, you don't have that kind of power. What you can adjust is the speed you travel at. This is helpful insight for me. You cant be travelling 5km ahead of where you're standing. Soooooo, my main goal is actually to feel good at all times and trusting that it'll lead me where I'm going. Trusting isn't the right word. It'll always lead me where I'm going. Plan your life around your own happiness!!

I find this really important actually. I'm very young, just finishing a degree counted amongst the best. I'm stopping everything to do this. From the outside I'm throwing my life in the crapper. Giving everything up. So you can imagine how hard sometimes it hits me that I should at least have a clue why. 1: I'm a scientist. In a sense that the workings of anything fascinate me. I can conduct this study using only myself. 2: I have big emotional problems. 3: I want the truth. Especially about myself, which apparantly has the added bonus of being about everything. Those are the main pillars I'd guess. I understand what you're pointing out here. It is important to know when you want to cut off. Let's face it, as long as you're alive, you'll never know everything, you're still reality no matter how far you've gotten. So forget about being able to plant your flag saying you know all there is to know. If you want to feel better, meditation is still great but it is important to know that if you cant deal with pain and you don't have a goal that goes further, you need to tip toe. In that sense, your post is very valuable. But to answer your question, for me personally... I spent the better part of my life suffering and still remained functional, finished my higher education, have a great relationship to my little brother. I did alright, even if I was horribly neurotic before entering this. This to say that I was perfectly "fine" with having to deal with deep suffering before it had a purpose. And now I'm on fire baby. I want to get fucking miserable. I want to fight so hard I'll collapse. It doesn't even matter if this is all fucking bullshit and you're all some cult minions. I don't know who I fucking am, do you know how ridiculous that is? How am I supposed to build a life on nothing? And I know for a fact that if I progressively throw every single little bullshit thing down the crapper, the only thing left... will be me and the truth. Enlightenment or not. And I'm fucking ecstatic for it.

Wait. I'm your mother. Who the fuck am I This is too advanced for my identified self. It doesn't believe, it thinks jokes are being made. Ahahaha cute ♥️

You are also your mother in law. As your wife is also your mother. And your father. Luke, she is your father. Let those sink in. @inFlow

Holy shit, thank you for this

@winterknight didnt know. Perfect, thanks!

Hey guys. As a newbie it's impossible and obviously hindering to scour through all given info for answers. Plus I'll get nowhere without putting this thirst for knowledge and guidance aside and actually expanding my daily "dirty work" time. So as impressive as all the suggested books are... what I really need is to get a move on. That said, how do you feel about 'Course in Miracles' by Dr. Helen Schucman? I've seen it described as the best wrapper on Enlightenment practice for our booged Western Minds - which is exactly what I'm craving for right now, practice, practice and practice, without wasting time hopping from one thing to the next. Best newbie practice guide, yes or no? P.S.: I have already established daily meditation, self-inquiry, watched probably dozens of Leo hours, read some books and booked a couple retreats. I'm pointing this out just as a means of saying I'm not horsing around, dismissing knowledge or looking for the quick fixes. I need a good, practical, interconnected, concrete source of guidance for lifestyle building. And am not looking for the dmt moment experience mojo. Thanksssss!!

@Leo Gura well... "Understanding means understanding of a part in relation to the whole" "You cannot understand and disagree" If Christianity is the problem and the tactic is good, it would at least be great understanding practice. Thanks Leo.

@Serotoninluv thank you, I'm excited to join! Well, my "solid spiritual foundation" started a couple months ago after randomly finding Leo's video on consciousness. But since I've not been able to stop ever since and things just keep dropping onto my lap, I'm definitely going with the flow and not looking back. I'm not religious, but since I was able to listen to Psycho Cybernetics unbothered by the references, I'm hoping I could do the same here. Feel a bit lost because I'm just starting out, everything pulls in opposite directions and can't really ground myself. I'm a bit afraid to ask for you personal suggestions because my huge struggle right now is precisely the amount of information... but I will leave it for you (or the universe) to decide. Thanks a lot!

@winterknight Whattayouthink? Please, thank you.