@TheGreekSeeker It feels wrong because you are doing it wrong. You have to derive all answers and lessons for yourself. As I have said many times.
Don't treat my teachings as ideology.

That's why it's a journey. You don't know where each step will take you.
You are taking this process for granted. The whole point of doing research is that you do not know what you'll find unless you do it.
Read 200 books over the next 5 years, and your life will never be the same again. Apply what you can. You certainly won't master all those books, but you will have a big picture map of the field, which is the key.
If you cannot read 20 books about enlightenment, you have no business pursuing enlightenment. It is too tricky, and you will fail.

I attended an Ayahuasca ceremony last weekend, which was my second time drinking Ayahuasca tea.
It was a religious ceremony so there was some chanting and question/answers periods, but I was so totally absorbed in my trip that I wasn’t able to pay attention to any of those.
This trip was a TOTAL MIND FUCK. I was so mind-fucked I do not even know where to begin, or how to  put anything in words. I remember during the peak of the trip, I kept repeating in my head: what was seen cannot be unseen, and ignorance is bliss.
 
I had a bad trip last April during which I was sent to the hospital. In that trip, I was not sure whether I was alive or not. I felt that I was everyone and anyone at the same time. It took me months to overcome that bad trip. The reason that I am mentioning that is because as I began to feel the effect of the tea, it connected right with the last trip. The two trips merged and became one. It made so much sense how it connected and how this is the obvious path down the road. I felt stuck in this loop, the loop of trying to pursue the truth.
I was then hit with the feeling that EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE. I cannot even tell you what made sense exactly, but I just kept repeating of course, of course.. But of course… of course I drank the tea to experience this, of course I had the bad trip, of course! I understood everything, EVERYTHING. Or so it felt.
I understood what Leo has been saying all along. I understood every awakened trip reports I have read. I felt the circular nature of life. I realized that I HAVE NEVER lived. The realizing felt SO REAL, so convincing and life as I knew felt like a joke. I thought of my boyfriend and my parents and how they did not really exist. There really is only me. I saw it SO CLEAR that I can only repeat: but why, what ? Why? How? Ok but why? I wished I did not know. I wished that I did not take that tea. 
I also felt clairvoyant. I knew I wouldn’t believe what I experienced once I "come back" and I would be posting on the forum and asking questions but the answers seemed so obvious to me at the moment. And I knew there was NO WAY to explain this to anyone. That’s what I have been doing all my life, and that’s what ill keep doing, and that’s what everyone will keep doing, one way or another : pursue the truth.
 
Once I was "convinced" that It has been me all along and all will merge with truth eventually, I saw life as no point. I felt that there was no point in doing anything at all. Nothing matters in this game called life, it literally , truthfully did not matter. Theres no point in asking any questions because I have all the answers in that moment, no point in judging, no point in hating or helping. 
 
The comedown was surprisingly smooth. However, I had this intense burn/hot/warm/energetic sensation in the perineum that was slightly uncomfortable.
As expected, as the trip subsided, my life felt more real than that "experience". I only remember how convincing those realizations were, but they did not stick, and I am already doubting if that was just a dream.
 
I did not feel being one with the universe or awakened.
I think I was mindfucked more than anything.
 
My main questionning is:
how do I know if those realizations are absolute truth (as they undoubtingly were during the trip) or another belief/idea? Because it seems like they are highly influenced by what I have been fed such as "this is all imaginary" or "life is a loop" or "I never lived"..
How come they felt SO REAL , and now I can barely remember it?
 
any other pointers for me ?
 
Thank you all for your help.

To get good with girls at any cost.
When you're trying to solve a serious life challenging, it's a good idea to approach it with the attitude of "at any cost". Do not think about the cost of things you really want. Just work five times harder to pay it. Some things in life have absurdly high costs which almost no one is willing to pay. This allows you to set yourself apart from your competition simply by being willing to pay that cost.
You won't really appreciate a thing unless you work your ass off for it.

I've bought the ULP last year and I was really determined to find my LP. Leo starts the course with a quote that only 5% will succeed, 95% doesn't complete it fully. So I was really determined to be in that 5%. Basically followed every exercise to the letter, took extensive notes, etc. Then came the real Life Purpose exercises, where you really gave to come up with answers to questions where your passions lie, what you would do if money is no issue, etc (try not to spoil the content of the ULP here). Leo states that "I don't know" is not an option, keep thinking about it. That kept me stuck at these questions for a very long time, couldn't come up with the answers.
In the meanwhile, we were moving to a new house, experiences some really sad family matters. That lead to quitting the ULP for a while.
I've started the ULP again by the end of 2016, this time even more determined to finish the course and find my ULP. But unfortunately, I'm stuck again at the same point. I just can't come up with answers that really resonate with me.
I'm quite happy in life, got "all things" going on pretty well, nice house, nice family, happy with my job, spending a lot of time running and cycling, working on personal development, following a ZEN course. But without a real purpose, just following along like most other people, perhaps a bit more conscious than most people. I've found my top values and strengths, they're OK, but I'm not really enthusiastic about the outcome. There isn't much in life that really, really excites me, I get bored pretty easily with stuff.
Sometimes I think and feel that I'm just not wired for this stuff, I've never been very passionate whole my life, 35 years old now. I'm wondering if anyone felt the same and has come out of this "situation" and if now living a passionate life with a purpose? And for those who have taken the ULP, what should I do, try to come up with the answers or move along on the course, try to get the best out of it?
 
 

sorry I'm reviving this old post but I couldn't myself from asking, @electroBeam have you considered systems thinking? Working with complex social systems (education, government, health etc.) and bringing a massive change in there?
reading your post was like reading my own thoughts so I really want to know what you're up to now with your life purpose? if you're comfortable sharing..

if you like writing, what about writing a book for 20y-old-students who lack orientation.
title something like: "what should I do after school?"
Big Picture:
- timeline: 20s exploration-process, then mastery of skill/field
- importance of good career, how do I create a good career, importance of contribution to world
- what is happiness/fulfillment
- what is important
- psychological stuff (how to free yourself from social conditioning, self-image, tricks of mind, belief-systems...)
- maybe a little bit of spirituality
 
~ big-picture-book: how to create a good/happy life
target group: for example students
 
oh man, I've been thinking about this for half a year now...maybe I should write a book like this
what do you think about this idea?

So what you've discovered here is the threshold between Zone of Excellence and Zone of Genius. Living inside your Zone of Genius is SCARY! That's why most people don't have a life purpose and never will. This is emotionally challenging stuff. Lots of resistance will come up.
Best thing I can suggest is to just be mindful of the resistance and keep pushing through the course and doing the assignments. Don't worry yet about "But how will I do it? How will I make it all work out in the end?" << Those questions are not as important to answer as you might think. The important thing is to simply get clear about what you want to do with your life. And the assignments will help you do that.
Also realize that this is a long-term journey. You don't need to do it all in one month. You can take a couple of months off and then come back and finish it.

I don't think there's a need to bring Graves into this.
Just finish the course and you'll experience a HUGE upward shift. Life purpose is not only for people in stage Green. Life purpose is good for people at any stage. In fact, if you want to really ace stage Orange, find your life purpose ASAP. It's hard to make money without a clear sense of direction and passion for your work.
I don't see life purpose as me doing charity work for others or sacrificing myself for others. Just the opposite. My life purpose is for ME! It fuels me. It's not some kind of altruistic burden.

So basically you're suffering from the problem of not having a clear purpose.
Saying you can do anything is the same as saying you will do nothing.
The mind cannot move towards "anything", it needs a concrete vision that will generate motivation to wake up every morning and get to work. By being indecisive you remain like a ship without a sail.
So moral of the story is: make a decision and say "No!" to all options but ONE! At least for the time being. This is an emotionally challenging thing to do, which is why most people don't accomplish anything. They make the choice of not making a choice.

There are a lot of opportunities. Coaching is a big market and its going to only grow bigger in the future.
Of course it's STILL difficult to break in, just like ANY other business. All business is challenging and competitive. It has to be because the rewards of success are highly desirable.
 
My focus was life purpose coaching, although I was broader than that in practice and never really defined a niche because I got into Actualized.org. You could say my niche became self-actualization, which is not a good idea for most people because it's way too broad and no one knows what self-actualization is.
My first clients were distant friends or acquaintances. Coaching is a people-business. You gotta rely on people in your social circle when you start.
 
It's a sign, yes, although it could mean various things. You need to sit down and do some deep soul-searching. The life purpose course will help you a lot to figure all that out. There are many angles to consider.
 
I'm not sure what you learned in the "performance coach" program so it's hard to say.
 
Many different kind of people can be life coaches. There's no one type of person. This is giant field with room for a variety of personalities, styles, and approaches.
That said, here's what I see as common between great coaches:
They really care about helping people They are interested in consciousness/awarenesss They enjoy coaching They enjoy connecting and relating with people They are empathetic and compassionate They are committed to this as a life purpose, not just a job or a side-gig They are hard-working They are savvy about marketing and business, and willing to learn & master it They love to read and learn about personal development They do lots of inner work on themselves  
That's a fantastic niche! There are many coaches who specialize just in that. Many artists and creative professionals need help via coaching, and man of them have the $$$$ to pay you (which is nice).
 
I don't know that I've made too many mistakes. My career as a coach worked out very well.
My biggest mistake as a coach is that I have a tendency to give too much direct advice instead of guiding clients to their own answers. This is my personal bias because I enjoy giving advice more than coaching. Which is why I ultimately exited coaching and now do video advice full-time. It's just more suited to my personality.
 
Coaching is NOT teaching. Coaching is guiding. There is a big difference. A good coach can coach a client on a problem in an area where he has zero personal experience. But for that you need to learn how to be a strong coach, which requires training and practice.
Developing yourself is important, but it shouldn't stop you from becoming a coach if you really want to be a coach.
 
Every business market is competitive, so that statement is kinda moot. Any business you enter will be very challenging, period. There are no easy marketplaces where you can just stroll in and be financially independent. That would be way too easy. I say this to put things into proper perspective.
I didn't write up a formal business plan, but I did spend a lot of time thinking about my niche and how to brand myself.
Yes, niching yourself is important. Generic "personal development" coaching is gonna be hard to sell. I can sell it because don't even coach people really, I give advice. And I was lucky to a large degree.
Keep in mind that when you niche yourself, you're not really limiting who you coach. You are ONLY specifying your marketing and sales pitch. You can still coach people on issues outside your niche as long as they are willing to pay you. The purpose of niching is so that prospective clients are clear about the benefits your coaching will give them. Very few people will shell out hard-earned money for "self-improvement". People will only pay for tangible results like, "We can save your marriage" or "we can find you a new job that pays 50% more".

I can speak intelligently and in-depth about a wide variety of topics and I understand most people's problems better than they understand themselves. This comes naturally to me because my whole mission in life is to understand everything.
Btw, the best way to close a sale is to convince the buyer that you understand his problem way better than he understands it himself. << This is true of ALL sales, not just coaching.

There are many ways to market yourself as a coach. Videos and social media are NOT an easy form of marketing. They are very challenging and extremely labor intensive. I do it because I love to create videos, not because I want to attract clients. If you did what I do just to attract clients, you would probably hang yourself after a few years.
Most life coaches struggle to get clients because they suck at marketing.
Most life coaches never even begin to make money and quit because they cannot attract clients.
Most successful life coaches attract clients in-person through word-of-mouth, speaking events, and networking functions. Successful coaches are usually very social and build a large social-circle of contacts.
Running an online business like I do, is VERY different from coaching. Which is basically why I don't coach any more. They are two different fields.
There are information products and seminars available that you can purchase which will teach you how to market yourself as a coach. Learning marketing is more important to be a coach than learning to how to coach. Coaching is EASY. Marketing is HARD. As a self-employed coach, you're a coach second and an entrepreneur first. Most coaches are terrible entrepreneurs so they fail.
If you wanna be a successful coach, you have to make sure that you don't let your positivity and passion for coaching blind you to the realities of running a business. Business is cut-throat and demands very pragmatic thinking.

Good question.
If you go through a coach training program (which you should) then they will train you in the basics and you will have partners that you practice on.
Every new coach of course still feels self-doubtful and inexperienced.
What I did was I committed to getting massive 1-on-1 coaching experience. I found extra partners and coached every week as much as I could for months. Then I contacted all of my friends and acquaintances and offered to coach them for free. I do so for months. All this coaching was free. After doing that for 6 to 12 months, I had over 100 coaching hours under my belt and started to feel moderately confident, although I still had anxiety before each call. I just kept pushing through the anxiety and doing the best I could. Sure, sometimes I would be on the call and I got stumped or didn't know what you say. But clients are quite forgiving and hardly even notice.
Remember that coaching is NOT about giving people advice. Coaching is about asking the right questions that make people think. If you're coaching properly, you should be able to coach a person through a challenge that you have zero experience with. Realizing this helps a lot to build up your confidence. Coaching is a form of facilitation, not advice-giving. You don't tell the person how to solve their problem. You help them to find their own solutions.
Just like with starting any business, you gotta fake it till you make it a bit.
Realize that most people you are coaching have NEVER heard about life coaching before and they have zero expectations. They are often pleased just to vent their frustrations with you. You don't need to do very much. You just listen real close, and then asking a question or two that makes the person really wonder about their thought-process, or their goals, or their actions.

I've noticed a lot of aspiring life coaches here, which is cool. I remember the days, not so long ago, when I was in your shoes, struggling to enter this weird new field called life coaching.
If you have any questions about the DO's and DON'Ts of coaching, ask away. I'm happy to share my lessons from the last few years of coaching clients.
I've actually stopped coaching at this point to focus on shooting better videos and developing Actualized.org. One thing that I discovered about myself through this career journey is that my zone of genius is more about direct advice-giving and research than coaching and guiding. I enjoy coaching people, but I enjoy shooting videos more.

@Leo Kaminski Step 1: take a hard look at your life and audit everything. Audit your health, relationships, time management, morning routine, productivity, audit your goals, values, emotional health, audit your meditation routine. (All of these should be over time increasing and getting better.
Step 2: Radically minimize your life. Refer to Leo's video on lifestyle minimalism. This really helped me get rid of all of the unnecessary things in my life.
EVERY single thing you own, should serve you in some way. Do you really need 37 shirts? lol...
Step 3:  Take 3-6 months and drill the Life Purpose course and meditate often. This will push you in the direction of your intuition. Practice "No Mind".
Step 4: Journal often, and gather/collect insights on a daily basis. There should be NO insights forgotten. Take notes on your phone, on your computer, have note cards in your room and in your car. Review these once or twice a week.
Step 5: At night, make a list of the top 5 things you should do the next day that will move your life forward. They have to be goals that will actually progress you!
(I have more advice, but this is plenty. Please keep me posted on what action you take .)

@Raptorsin7 I'm a life-coach, and I've made between $1500 to $3500 per month doing it, depending on how busy I am.
But I also have a moderately successful YouTube channel with about 30,000 subscribers, where I get about 60k views per month. So, I get all my clients through my channel, without having to do any dry marketing tactics where I try to pitch myself to acquaintances and strangers.
I basically just release a bunch of free content, and then let them know that I also offer life-coaching.
I would say it would be quite difficult to be a life-coach if you don't have a built in following.
So, if you create a following first, you can definitely make ends meet and more doing life-coaching.
You also don't need a perfect life or anything like that. You don't need to be a Tony Robbins. What you do need is the ability to meet the client where they are and facilitate inner exploration and growth in them. 
 
 

Was too proud that i had the best one. But looking at all the others, I'm finally grounded ?????

It is not ideological unless you turn it into an ideology.
I warned you from day 1 not to turn my teachings into an ideology.
You must use my teachings consciously. How you use them depends on you. Many warnings have been issued.
It would be a good idea to clearly distinguish in your experience what it means to act ideologically and what what it means to act consciously.

Please don't cite me "spontaneous insight". You have no idea what hell Tolle went through to earn his so-called "spontaneous insight."
He spent 2 YEARS living on a park bench just to integrate it.
Your logic is like saying an Olympic champion got his gold medal in a 30 minute ceremony.

Things are not pre-determined. You as God play a crucial role in how things get determined going forward.
You are NOT a passive observer of reality. You are The Creator.
What do you want to create? << that's the crucial question.
If you decide to live in your Mom's basement and eat Cheetos all day, that's what you've chosen to create whether you realize it or not. Don't squander your creative capacity.

please i want everyone in this thread to give me any advice to cope and heal from this issue and is there any benefits  from this issue 
thanks 

Careful not to demonize thought.
Not all thoughts are bullshit. But the thought that all thoughts are bullshit is bullshit
Thoughts are only a problem if you get lost in them. Otherwise thoughts are a beautiful thing and are important to human life.
There cannot be human life without thought. The key is to have high quality thoughts and to be able to go into silence at will.