Hoping someone here knows what I did and how I can fix it. I used to be extremely shy and got heavy into pickup as a way to overcome it. That inevitably led me to NLP and Tolle's Power of Now, where I learned about the effect my thoughts were having on me. It was an unreal experience - one day I suddenly became extremely aware of when and how things were influencing me. It was like I was feeling these things affect me and I could go along with them or have the feelings disappear. Even more interesting was I could see someone or even hear their voice and immediately get this vibe about what internal state they were in. So I went on like this for a few months until one day I was at work on lunch break hanging out with a group of coworkers. I don't remember why, but one coworker started going hard teasing me. I remember her being extremely aggressive, so much angst behind what she was saying. I went back to my desk and reflected on it and here's when my problem occurred. I was so focused on that shitty feeling when she was ripping on me, and had amped it up so much in my mind from replaying the event, that I felt all the feelings inside of me draw into a little ball in my chest and then disappear. It was analogous to one of those old black and white TVs turning off. Since then, I have zero internal feelings. I still get happy, sad, etc. but rather than having some sort of tangible feeling inside of me I now just "know" when I'm happy, sad, or whatever. Is there any way to get those feelings back?
