Extreme Z7

<11-18-2016> Am I Overworking or Just Ambitious? I've got two more comics that I finished drawing yesterday. I actually stayed up all night until 1AM just to sketch and ink them. I started drawing so late in the evening because I was so busy during the day. I've had so much to do today as well. Is it overworking, or am I just really obsessed with pursuing my ambitions? Probably both. Anyway, here are the comics.

I made a comic inspired by this thread.

@Kvath It's pancakes, definitely pancakes.

<11-16-2016> Upgrading My Reading/Learning Habit I think it's about time I think about taking reading a lot more seriously. So far, I haven't really gained much from reading books but that's probably because I haven't really seen what's out there in the book industry and I also don't really take reading that seriously. I've been making an effort to be more focused during reading and I'm going to have to learn to leave time and space for a good quiet environment to read without a lot of distractions. Right now I'm reading a couple of books, 'Confucius, The Analects' and 'Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes'. I find the former to actually be pretty boring whereas the latter is kind of interesting. Right now, it really isn't much but my strategy is read my way to higher quality material over the years that I have this habit going to a point where they may actually transform my life better than Leo's videos have.

Childhood scars never cure? Where did you get that idea?

<11-15-2016> Practicing Honesty I have a confession to make, I don't have a lying problem. <--- that's a lie. One of my favorite Actualized.org episodes is the "How You Lie" video. It opened my eyes to just how much dishonesty governs human nature especially in social situations. Today, I've gotten a pretty conscious at just how its actually rooted in my self-agenda and also how I want to get rid of it simply because its causing me suffering. I sort of have this idea that if I was 100% open and honest, I would experience suffering in the short term but overall better fulfillment and decreased anxiety. But there's a catch, as you know. It's very difficult and I still can't handle it. On the bright side, I feel like I'm finally taking my first steps to fixing this issue. That's right, I've only started becoming more honest starting now. I've been hiding this problem from my awareness for a long time and now that it has surfaced, I better take any opportunity I can to take the path of emotional difficulty. (Leo's "One Rule For Acing Life" video also plays into this).

Will do. It's become my biggest creative passion recently.

I know @Leo Gura has talked about the subtle nature of ego and how people become blind to its own backward nature many times but I'm curious to know if he's interested in making an entire episode about it. I don't know, it may already be in his "to-do list" but I thought it'd be a good video to request regardless.

<11-13-2016> - <11-14-2016> Short Creativity Burst I came up with ideas for 4 new comics over the course of 2 days. They took 3 days to draw. I'm quite proud of them considering that this is probably were my life purpose journey is heading. Check them out below, let me know what you think. I haven't gotten much feedback from them yet as the series isn't very popular. Weirdly enough, I get more feedback from the still-life drawings I upload as practice. It's kind of annoying actually considering the cartoons are the ones that I put passion in. But I think it's better for me to just move on, keep practicing and growing my skills in order to radically change my life. But at the same time, keep accepting reality and the present moment, that's important too.

Good, just don't fall into the trap of perfectionism and accept that the outcomes of your strategy will not always be 100% what you want. Just keep revising and keep going.

Your true self is simply empty presence. Its an empty space that holds all experience but not in a 3-D materialistic way. It's just simply there but can't be found.

<11-12-2016> Busy Again Today Did a lot of non-personal development work today. Mostly college work but I did work on my life purpose. I drew a new comic which I will be uploading tomorrow. I also managed to get some reading done today. I don't really have much interest to talk about anything else. That's all for today.

I haven't taken the life purpose course, but the best advice I can give anyway is value authenticity above everything else when pursuing life purpose. Any kind of fear or anxiety will be worth it if you just follow your true authentic desires.

@nolenjoney What do you actually authentically want in life? If your current prime directive in life is giving you a lot of anxiety rather than intrinsic motivation then its probably not authentic. Your doing things to "not lose" rather than to "win".

You and me both, buddy. Although, it's a lot easier than you think if you just pursue the present moment.

<11-11-2016> So Busy Today, Here's The Comic I Promised Yesterday

@Leo Gura True that. I once successfully did a Strong Determination Sit for 1 hour. Hellish Hellish experience. Yet I know that it wasn't even THAT awful because my life is just so comfy relative to the sit. On the bright side, I experienced one of the most peaceful moments in my life after it. My surface-level anxieties and worries were temporarily abolished. . . temporarily. I haven't done any SDS since because I just fear experiencing it again. Maybe I could get further than 1 hour another time.

<11-10-2016> Emotional Crutches and How Things Have To Get Worse Before They get Better This idea of things getting worse before they get better still hurts my ego a lot. I a struggle with a personal development obstacle that I'm sure a majority of other people with personal development habits also do, which are emotional crutches. For me, I commonly use various forms of entertainment as a means to hide from my problems of fear and anxiety. I really want to put in the effort to remove all carnal cravings and aim straight for my life purpose and enlightenment but the difficulty is just far too strong. I surely hope that awareness really is curative because that's all I've got right now. Be fucking patient, I tell myself everyday. You can see how my daily life has been affected by Leo's content. As I continually work on my consciousness and emotional crutches, I begin to get a sense of what true misery really is and why so many people in the world are not happy. Simply because life transformation takes time and most people are not willing to actively enter long periods of high difficulty to achieve growth. On a positive note, I'm working on another comic strip. It's been a while since I've made one and I've been itching for a while to get back to it. Probably should focus more on them because they are really fun to make. On a negative note, I noticed that I've accidentally been placing 10 instead of 11 on the month section of the dates on my past few journal entries. Not a big deal but kind of lame, really.

<10-08-2016> Can't Think Of A Topic Today I did not really think about much today. I even dozed off while reading a book on my bed at one point. It was just such an uneventful day. Quite pleasant, though. I'm not saying this day was bad and I hated it. Just that not much happened. I still did my daily routine, though. Meditation + Life Purpose Work + Education. Other than that, nothing special. I'm going to go play some video games.

@quantum I'm a college student with no money. In time, I'll be able to afford it.

Reincarnation seems more plausible to me a part reality than infinite oblivion after death.

<10-07-2016> Spent 3 Hours On A New Avatar I'm late with today's entry again. Ironically, it's not because I felt lazy but the opposite. I spend about three hours working on a pixel art animation for fun. 16 frames of crazy cartoon coolness. . . Its fun to think about the fact that I just made this for fun. I'm aiming to become a professional artist. I'm excited to think about the stuff I can create as I grow my skills over the period of years. I haven't even bought Leo's life purpose course yet. . . the things in life that may be possible. . . But this is just dreaming. . . I've got more work to do. See you tomorrow.

I recently re-watched Leo's "My Enlightenment Experience" video and I got to the part where he started talking about the 10 ox picture story being explained to him by a zen master. I decided to pause the video and google search said pictures and I thought what I ended up learning about them was pretty cool. Definitely would love to see Leo make a video on it. I know he said in the above-mentioned video that he may talk about it in a future episode but I just thought it'd be good to bring it up here as a little suggestion.

@dude Partying seems to take the energy out of you very quickly.

I have them printed out so I can check them anytime.