Extreme Z7

Many things are distractions from self-actualization. Nothing particularly special about TV but giving it up completely would be a huge benefit to a lot of people, just as long as they don't replace it with something as equally time-wasting or worse.

June 17, 2017 - Saturday Today felt pretty smooth. Nothing too troubling and I managed to get stuff done. I encountered a few troubling emotions over the past week although that is to be expected when you spend most of your time in a closed room. Hardly higher consciousness living but I'm taking babysteps. Today, what was done, did I? Spent about 3 hours working some more on my game project. Mostly on the animation shown below. I also spent a fair amount of time drawing more digital art for the game. Finished Chapter 3 of the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Although because I have difficulty really following the book because of how it's written. Most of my notes were copied directly from a book summary. Tomorrow, what is to be done? My goal for tomorrow is much of the same for today. Today was good and I want tomorrow to be just as good. Tomorrow can be seen through the crystal ball which I totally have.

@2000 You'll never know until you've tried it out consistently for years. Take a leap of faith!

June 16, 2017 - Friday I encountered some very serious internal emotional problems today, mostly stress and lack of motivation but I managed to push through and do just the average level of work performance than I usually exhibit in a day. I think part of it might be coming from a subconscious desire to become enlightened. But the busy nature of my schedule is preventing me from pursuing enlightenment very seriously. I tried facing the desire directly but I also encountered fear of neglecting my work. Oooh well. . . speaking of which. . . How was work today, dear? Spent about 2 hours (I think) doing more work on my game project. Mostly coding today. I drew a new but simplistic enemy design Not much else done today but I may do some reading before going to bed. What are you going to do tomorrow, dear? I want to do the same routine tomorrow but hopefully I am able to better handle the difficult emotions I experienced today, if any. Is this journal helping me? I'm not fully sure but I'm not willing to give up on it yet. What I am sure of is that tomorrow is not Saturday because I say so!

@Ryan_047 Just because you don't know your passion doesn't mean you don't have any. This is just part of the journey. Seek and be very patient.

June 14, 2017 - Wednesday Another day, another tiny step has been made. Actually it's more like a shuffle, or maybe just a slight bend forward, I guess. I shot another duck today Spent about 2 and half hours mainly on level design work on my game project Worked on a background for the game Read a bit more from "The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius". I really have a hard time following the book's type of language so I've tried reading a summary of it. I'll probably taking more notes based on the summary rather than the actual book. Spent some more time learning and practicing the basics of Trance music. I ain't perfect but I've become more and more focused on learning more than just making a good track. I wonder how many ducks I will shoot tomorrow Still have a lot of work to do in my game project and I'd like to keep moving forward but I feel that I'm going to need a serious break soon. Draw some more art for the game as usual. I've even renamed the 'Textures' folder in my game project to 'Art' Read some more from the book I'm reading and take more notes Practice more Trance Music Production in order to 'git good' Tomorrow Hahaa! Thought I'd write something weird and nonsensical again today, did you? Well, you're wrong!

@kieranperez It's funny how you act as if you're so highly motivated and focused but can't seem to help yourself from wasting your time and energy trying to attract eyeballs for the sake of it.

June 13, 2017 - Tuesday Felt pretty lazy today but I still did my daily work. I also managed to find the time to not only watch a video on Music Production but also to practice a bit more. As I mentioned in my previous entry, I would rather have a daily music practice habit than a daily drawing habit. But I still like my drawing so that's probably going to stay for a while. Whad'dya make for dinner today, hun? A little bit of coding/level design work in my game project. Spent about 2 hours I think. Only spent half an hour working on the artwork for my game. Spent 15 minutes watching a tutorial video on the basics of a Trance Bassline. Didn't find the time to read from the current book I'm reading however. Time for bed, sweety. . . I want to do much of the same work I did today but better. Shouldn't be too hard to beat. I also want to make sure that I get into the groove of practicing the art of music production by actually practicing the art of music production. My music practice for the past two years have been pretty inconsistent and that's probably why It's taking me so long to really improve unlike how much I've improved with drawing (Although admittedly, I'm still an amateur there too). Oh yeah, and some reading as well. Today was just okay, I wonder if tomorrow I find out that I'm actually a shark using a computer!

June 12, 2017 - Monday I want to make more music but I've been so caught in all my other desires. I'll be looking into possibly replacing my daily drawing habit with a daily music production practice habit. I still don't know when yet but I will at some point. I still love drawing but I've learned that I love to make music more. Hey Linus, what're you doin'? Spent close to 4 hours doing coding/level design work on my game project and I'm still planning to do some more tonight before I go to bed. Did some more digital art work for the game. I can't remember how much time I spent on it. Read some more from The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. I have to admit that I find the book's jargon to be hard to follow. Trying my best to absorb as much as I can but I keep getting lost. Linus, you blockhead! You've got stuff to do tomorrow! More game work! More drawing! More reading! (Optional) And maybe also some music stuff. . . Am I too lazy or too busy? I can't tell. Maybe tomorrow I'll find Barack Obama dead in my backyard. . . and I was the one who killed him. . .

@Jordan wang There's no need to control your emotions. Just BE mindful of them. . . . Just BE. That's the true way of controlling your emotions.

@Dan Arnautu I don't know how to cook. I'm not a "food cooker" . I'd rather eat food instead. Buuh!

June 11, 2017 - Sunday I've gotten a jolt to really focus on my game project as I feel that it really is in connection with my Life Purpose. I still haven't pinpointed what my Life Purpose really is and I still haven't taken Leo's course but my intuition is telling me that this is something I want to spend part of my life's effort on. What are thou doing in there? Today I spent somewhere around 3-4 hours doing game work. I don't know, I lost track of time, I really should get a stopwatch or something. Decided to spend some time working on a tileset that I will use in the game. Pretty proud of the result but it isn't fully complete yet as I'm still going to be adding more tiles to it. Read some more from the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. I even took a little bit of notes. Although I must admit that I had a bit of difficulty trying to follow some of the parts of the book. What art thou going to do tomorrow? More game design/coding work. Minimum goal of 2 hours. Desired goal of 3 hours. More art/drawing work. Minimum goal of 1 hour. Read some more, learn some more I'm feeling pretty motivated. Tomorrow will be The Day Jesus Christ Returns!

June 10, 2017 - Saturday Pretty smooth day today, I spent a lot of time coding and now I'm taking a break by playing random indie games I find on the internet. A lot of them are bland but there are some really creative hidden gems out there and I want to find them. Anyway, what did you today, Jimmy? I spent, I think almost 3 hours. doing coding work on my game. Although, the bulk of the time was spent trying to fix this one problem. Pretty annoying but I'm glad I got it done. I did some digital art work on a tileset that will be used in my game project. Although it's not finished so I don't want to post it here yet. Managed to get a little reading done on the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. A little. . . as in, I haven't made it out of the introduction yet. Didn't find the time to watch a new Music Production-related tutorial yet. `Tomorrow tomorrow. Spend more time coding for my game project. Minimum goal of 1 hour. Do more drawing for my game project. Minimum goal of 1 hour And the other stuff. . . Too tired to do any more work today. That coding problem really bugged me and tired me out, tomorrow I wish to shake hands with Slenderman.

@Jordan wang Wait, why don't just find a way to permanently reduce your stress instead of doing your weird and annoying way of temporarily relieving it? Do you practice meditation or any kind of deep breathing practice? Do you live a simplistic uncomplicated life or a busy distracted life? Difficult but permanent lifestyle changes will always trump short but easy fixes.

June 9, 2017 - Friday As I mentioned yesterday, I wanted to have a bit of a break today so I didn't do as much work as I did yesterday. But I had some work done nonetheless. Well. . . only one drawing. So, not really that much. It's the background of one of the levels of the game. Here's what I got planned for tomorrow. Get back to coding. Hopefully, I could reach a minimum of 2 hours of work Continue drawing more art for my game Actually start reading The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius this time Find the time to watch at least one Music Production-related tutorial Gotta sleep well because tomorrow the police will eat my brains!

June 8, 2017 - Thursday Business as usual today. Because I no longer have much college work, I've had a lot of time to work on my Life Purpose. Although I did go out with my family to go shopping so that did eat up a significant chunk of my time. Still, it was good and I enjoyed it. "Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today" Hmm. . . I forgot how much time I spent working on my game project today. Uhhhmm.. let's just say I spent about more than an hour, I guess. Did some drawing but I didn't finish any so I'm not going to show any progress. Check out a preview of the World Map I made: Got some more reading done. No, not any important books that I need to read. Just this book I read for entertainment. Haven't been able to find the time to watch any Music Tutorial videos "Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna do tomorrow" I want tomorrow to be a "break day" so I'm going to be working a bit less than I usually do (Optional) Do some more coding work on my game project As always, continue my daily drawing habit (Optional) Find the time to watch a Music Tutorial Video Find the time to start reading Marcus Aurelius's Meditations OK, time to get to bed because tomorrow. . . AUGH! My blanket is trying to strangle me!

June 7, 2017 - Wednesday It's official, I'm graduating by the end of the month. All those years I spent in college to get passing grades have finally paid off. . . . And it feels empty. . . D'oh well!. . . . Time to get back to my Life Purpose. On another note, I am aware that I forgot to write yesterday's entry. What have I doooooonnne??!!!! Spent about 2 hours or so working on my game. (Actually, I can't tell because I sort of lost track of time) Finally finished all the World Map sprites which I have been working on about the same time I started this journal. Finally completed reading "The Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford". I've got my eye on "Meditations by Marcus Aurelius" as my next book to read. I actually did find the time to watch a video on the basics of a Music Vocoder. It was really cool, I wonder why I haven't learned about it until now. What am I going to Doooooo???!!! (tomorrow) Get to work drawing the background of the first area of the game Spend more time coding in my game project. Minimum goal: 2 hours. (Optional) Start reading the 'Meditations of Marcus Aurelius' Get back to watching those Trance Music Tutorial videos. Preferably, multiple of them. Quite the amount of progress I've made over the last week, I can't wait to see how tomorrow will CEASE TO EXIST!!!

JUNE 5, 2017 - Monday Oh man, I'm so close to graduating right now. I just have one last requirement to pass tomorrow. This will really free up a lot of time I can spend pursuing my life purpose. But today, I was still very busy with my college work. Just one more day... Anyway, all I made today was this: Hoping to start getting more Life Purpose stuff done by tomorrow. Are the most recent entries too short? Well don't fret, because tomorrow we all lose our eyeballs!

JUNE 4, 2017 - Sunday Really busy right now. Working on a thesis paper I need to submit by tomorrow. I'm going to make this entry quick. Did not have the time to spend coding. Turned out I really needed more time to finish my college thesis. Hopefully by tomorrow, I'd have a lot more time. Here's the only thing I drew today: Did not get much of anything else done regarding Life Purpose. What I want to do tomorrow. I don't know yet, to be honest. I'll try to decide tomorrow. Am I working too hard or too little? Guess I'll know on tomorrow's Dead Plant Parade!

@Leo Gura Well, I didn't say that he wasn't highly educated or that he avoids education. To me, when he says that he 'refuses to be educated', it's really more of an identity thing, I think. As opposed to other people who try to make an identity out of education or their level of intelligence. Also, I guess I may be wrong about his age. Could have sworn he said he was more than a hundred years old in one video. Don't know if I misheard or if he was being metaphorical or if he was talking about a guy who was more than hundred years old, because he tells a lot of stories and stuff. P.S. I wouldn't be surprised if he did reach over a hundred years old, though.

@Baul Sadghuru openly claims that he has refused to become educated in life. He is now a 100+ year old yogi and one of the wisest men to live in the 21st century.

JUNE 3, 2017 - Saturday My busy college work schedule is motivated by fear.This is not how I want to live. That's why I started this journal. What I Dog Dang done today: Got more coding work done. About an hours worth of work successfully completed. I drew some flowing slime for my game's World Map. Took me about half an hour. Didn't get much of anything else done. Not even reading. Oh well. . . What to do, oh! What to do tomorrow: More coding! More coding! Minimum of 30 mins...still got a lot of college work to do tomorrow. Going to draw something really small tomorrow because I'm feeling like I want to give myself more time get my college stuff done Maybe finally watch the videos from that Trance Music Tutorial. or maybe not. Continue reading "The Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford", hopefully Busy day tomorrow, I can sense it. It's gonna be Balloon Day tomorrow and I gotta get prepared!

Still, nothing inherently wrong with video games, per se. I view as an extra life accessory, not too much of a hindrance as long as your aware and careful. I think of personal development as improving your car's performance, whereas all entertainment and material success and possessions are just fancy accessories to the car. Nothing wrong with some accessories, a paint job here, some decals there, a little fuzzy dice on the driver mirror. The trick is to not obsess too much about how your car looks, because what's really important is if it drives well and gets you places.

@Scarwolf I quit spending too much time playing video games by becoming a game dev, ironically.

JUNE 2, 2017 - Friday Man, I'm exhausted. Did so much walking from place to place today because of some stuff I had to deal with. Interestingly though, at one point, while waiting for somebody, I decided to wander off and lie at an old bench under a tree and just lay there staring at the sky. It was quite relaxing actually and I ended up contemplating a bit and asking what the purpose of life really is about. Not life purpose, the purpose of life... Anyway. Stuff I got done today Got 2 hours of coding work today on my game project. I only wanted 1 hour minimum because I had a lot of other stuff to do but I ended up getting really focused in my work. Here's what I done drew today. Took me about an hour and 20 minutes. Didn't manage to watch those videos I mentioned yesterday (again) Actually got a bit of reading done. Nearly finished with "The Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford" What I gotz to do tomorrow: (I'm gonna be really busy with college work tomorrow so I'm going to lower my standards a bit) Do more game project coding. A minimum goal of half an hour. Draw the 'Slime Canal' part of the World Map of my game (Optional) Watch those videos I wanted to watch yesterday. If I can't, then try to do it tomorrow again. Read more from "The Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford" After all that has happened today, I really hope that tomorrow, zzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZ!