Leon

Hey guys, I'm at a really low point in my life. I'm 20 years old, currently living in Germany and all I want is to move to Australia. I just came back after spending a year in this beautiful country on a working holday visa, met amazing people, made friends and fell in love with an amazing girl. Being forced to leave this country, my friends and my girl was extremely tough and I still cry about it a lot. Now I'm in this grey winter of Germany and I hate my life. I feel miserable and hopeless. I hate living here. The easiest option for me to immigrate to Australia would be studying engineering there and applying for permanent residency through the skilled migration program as they are in need of engineers. At least I would get a chance, as long as they still need them when I graduate and I pass all the tests and requirements. I would have to borrow the money from my dad, which would be a huge investment and risk. Because what if I don't make it, or I won't get my permanent residency? Now that I'm looking at the fees for international students my plan of going this way about my immigration doesn't seem to work and my dream seems to be destroyed. It would be extremely expensive, just so I can study something I don't like, to get a CHANCE (which is not certain) to get permanent residency. I'm not interested in engineering, neither am I in studying at all. I would just do it to get permanent residency. What I actually want is build online businesses, travel the world, live in different countries and be as independent as possible. I want to spent a lot of time in Australia with my friends, but also travel the world and one day settle down there. Now, what I also could do is say fuck studying in Australia, that's too much of a risk and I don't want to study engineering. I will build an online business now, go all in, put in really hard work doing what I want to do, to the point where I can get tourist visas (3-12 months) to live in Australia temporary, and one day settle down by marrying. Another thing I could do is build a business there or invest in businesses to get permanent residency, but you need to be extremely successful (really really successful). The question is - should I do that? Should I go this way? Will I make it? Will I be happy? Why is life so complicated? I'm very confused, miserable and depressed. This is such a huge decision for my life and I just don't know what to choose. I'm having sleepless nights over it. Option A: Study Engineering in Australia which I don't like, get into huge depth with my dad and only get a chance to move there Option B: Go all out in building online businesses, learning, thinking big, spenting time there on a tourist visa (hope that's possible) and one day in the far future move there by either marrying (which I don't want as well) or building an incredibly successful business or investing 7 figures successfully into businesses (extremely hard and out of my reality so far). I know that if I take option B that would create huge leverage on me and I will have to evolve so much to reach it and option A would be the safer way, but I don't like studying engineering and I hate having the risk of it all being a huge waste of time and money if I don't get a PR. In the end, I want to create an extraordinary life anyways, so why not choose the path that's harder but forces me to grow more? Sorry for the long post. I would love to hear your opinion on this.

@Damien A work contract is no option for me because I want to own my own business. I don't want to work for someone else. But the thing is, if you don't want to work for other people, you have very limited visa options. Thank you for your input, really appreciate it!

@Rito My studies would start in February so I still have a whole year to think about it and work on my business, which I'm doing right now. Maybe I would like engineering, who knows. I still have a lot of time, but just the uncertainty of my future is what sucks the life energy out of me and makes it hard for me to be happy.

@Rito I know that that could be it. But what if not? What if my life would actually be better there? Way better? I really want to live the best life possible. Everyone who has been to Australia totally agrees with me on this. Life is just better there. I know I'm still young and I have so many more things I should experience first before making a huge decision like that. Now I just wanna know how to go about it. I know I have to work on being happy now, but the goal is set. I want to settle down there.

@Ayla It's funny. When I think about it, I actually feel like there is no way I could be happy here right now, even though I logically know I have to. I have this terrible habit of looking at other people's lives and their circumstances and comparing my happiness to theirs. It's soul sucking. Seeing pictures of my friends hanging out at the beach or hearing how my girl is going on a road trip for the weekend with her friends just makes me look at myself in this miserable cold, being in a new city, knowing no one and feeling super lonely and depressed. I know it's just dumb thinking that.

@Ayla I like this advice, because I know exactly what you mean, I've been there before. If only I wouldn't be a virgin anymore, I'd be happy -> Had sex with 8 girls in a year, still feel miserable If only I would travel Australia for a year, I'd be happy -> Felt very miserable during that time too even though it was amazing If only I had more friends to hang out with, I'd be happy -> I many big circles of friends now, still feel lonely and unhappy That's one of my main focuses at the momet, becoming happy on the inside. I'm writing my gratitude journal daily, I try to stay positive about my future every single day, I meditate daily, I do visualization daily, I work out a lot, I'm in amazing shape, but I still need to work on that. I'm sure that it won't make me happy unless I handle my unhappiness right now. But sill, I'd rather be happy in Australia than happy in Germany. Maybe I'm just too stubborn to see that I'm still in this cycle of trying to find happiness externally, but I just believe that Australia is better, and if I want to make the most out of my life, I should move there.

I wouldn't have the life that I want and I would have to accept it.

I think there is always a way. And if there isn't, I would be crushed.

It's the life that I envisioned for myself. Going outside, enjoying nature, taking deep breaths and being able to do something is so important to me. Australia is amazing for that. You have great weather, tons of opportunities and just a better life. That's what it comes down to. Just seeing what the lives of the locals there looks like just made me realize how much better they have it. They don't even appreciate it, but I see the value in it. They are just so much happier. Germany is so grey, cold and miserable. Right now, everytime you step outside you just feel bad. What a huge limitation that is for your life - having to stay inside. The life in Australia is better - period.

Sorry I made it sound like that. It is absolutely not about the girl. It is all about the better way of life in Australia. I just love the good weather, the amazing scenery, I want to surf in the evenings, have a barbecue on the weekend on a sunday night with my friends wearing a t-shirt, I want the great opportunities it provides. The girl is a factor why I'm feeling so miserable at the time, but she is no reason why I want to move there.