KelliCooper

@i am I AM All those 'external' tools and techniques can certainly help us, give us a framework, something to 'sink our teeth into' if you will. Our mind likes the idea we are 'doing' something about our problem and this can appease it. So, it really comes down to finding something that truly resonates with you and when you use it, you ACTUALLY feel better. So you may find it helpful to experiment with different things to see what works, but just be careful here. The energy from which we try to find all these things to help us--programs, tools, techniques, seminars,etc...--is usually kind of screwy and that usually leads to the things we try never 'working' and so the hunt continues. If you are feeling a bit exhausted from all the 'work' it might be best to just be for a bit and not 'do' anything. In this more relaxed frame of mind, if there is any sort of external tool that will assist your inner transformation, it will find you in some way. Just remember anything outside of us we employ to change the inside is a means to an end, and inherently has no power to change anything about us.

Ah, the question of 'how' to deal with our emotions. As a coach who focuses on inner change and transformation, this seemingly simple thing appears impossible. Isn't is funny how much we overcomplicate this 'work?' It's truly almost comical. As someone who knows my way in and around a feeling and a lot of experience 'purging' I can tell you there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to do this. Energetic/emotional work like this really doesn't have any sort of official blueprint. This isn't to say external resources can't help us, but ultimately, they have no power to change anything independent of our intentions and decision to release our 'crap.' Just feel your feelings when they come; try to observe them objectively. The biggest key will not be fighting the emotion, not so much trying to 'change' or 'eliminate' it. You might also need to adjust your 'expectations.' I know a lot of us have this idea that we will do some emotional deep dive and somehow all 'bad' feelings will go away forever. Probably not, but intensity, frequency and all that can certainly change dramatically.

One of the things we don't see coming in personal growth is this constant questioning of EVERYTHING! It can be super uncomfortable but if you can get comfortable with that discomfort, nothing can stop you. At the end of the day, the only thing that stops us is the icky feelings. Learning to relate to all my mental chatter differently really helped--when I just let it do its thing, the emotional charge goes away and it is actually quite bearable

I think one of the most helpful things is to reframe your past experiences that probably contributed to you feeling this way. What usually happens is our mind observes some sort of situation and then draws conclusions and tells stories about the situation. These conclusions and stories usually feel pretty crappy, and decimate our self-image. But when we realize everything that happens in our life is just NEUTRAL vibrational feedback, we see how all these stories just aren't true. Energetically we were aligning with experiences and people that led certain things to happen. So, for example, your belief you aren't good enough in some way leads you to attract partners who treat you poorly. The belief came first, and it was just being mirrored back to you with crappy people. You didn't attract these people because you aren't good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, you are broken or unlovable in some way. Your problem is whatever story you are telling about yourself and your circumstances, probably largely based on things that have already happened. Once you change the story, the feelings change and you're on your way!