flowboy

Remember A Success I remember that two weeks ago I decided I want to try coaching, crafted a sales letter, emailed it to 7 people and that already got someone interested to become my client. I will call that a success! Something I'm Grateful For Today I am grateful for two of my friends, whom I had a glorious and productive brainstorming session with just now If I were to die tomorrow, would I want to do what I am today? Yes. Absolutely. Helping myself get my shit together just became more meaningful now that I'm preparing to help others get their shit together. And during the brainstorming session we dreamed up a business idea that feels close to my heart and deeply meaningful. How did I honor my commitment to excellence today? I refined my plan for the first coaching session again and again. Made sure I was prepared and that it will fit in the time. And during the day I spent extra time on maintaining my daily and weekly schedule so that I wouldn't be a hypocrite and also it would be fresh in my mind so I could better connect with the subject.

Remember A Success When I started my first business with a friend many years ago, I actually landed us our first client, through networking. Something I'm Grateful For I am grateful for my best friend, who is like a brother to me. If I were to die tomorrow, would I want to do what I am today? No. I was at work for 11 hours. How did I honor my commitment to excellence today? I made time to help a colleague. I tested my code through and through, and uncovered more issues that I could fix.

Remember A Success I remember joining Toastmasters and making an inspiring speech about using motion to influence thoughts and perception creating reality. It was my very first time giving a speech since kindergarten, and it was received well and rated 10/10 Something I'm Grateful For I'm grateful that I met a girl who is smart and who I can talk spirituality and other common interests with If I were to die tomorrow, would I want to do what I am today? I spent most of my productive time processing notes today. Things I had written down chaotically for myself to someday think about again and type them up somewhere in an organized fashion. Although it's a hassle and a lot of work when your mind produces a lot of ideas, I think it helps my creative process to revisit some insightful thoughts a few days or weeks later. I had an inspiring video call with some potential business partners today. I revealed that I had been thinking about my life's purpose more deeply and decided that I only wanted to work on a business related to that. Although I was prepared to end the collaboration on this reason, instead I was pleasantly surprised that we seem to have some causes and values in common that I didn't know about! So, yes.

@MsNobody You came in, threw some mud, now you're done. Without backing up one shitty thing you said about me, dan bilzerian, Display_Name, or anyone else who disagrees with you or even questions you. You can see why your incapability of having a mature discussion annoys me.

@AtheisticNonduality I'm not saying he doesn't. I'm saying it's important to explain how and why when you give people these negative labels, otherwise the conversation degrades into a shitshow. To quote JP: "Be precise in your speech"

@MsNobody Wow, great "argument". I ask you to put your point in words and you simply fail. Not only that, but you lash out at me and say "if you have to ask then there's something wrong with you". Very mature! You and your stubborn refusal to provide any reasoning to back up your statements, thus derailing healthy debate, are a prime example of toxic femininity. Or is it toxic masculinity? Which one do you prefer? I don't care. Be a grown-up. Your evasiveness or inability to explain yourself convinces me of what I already suspected: you love to use the phrase "toxic masculinity" without understanding what it is and what it is not. Rather, you relish the opportunity to just randomly name some famous men that you have some sort of beef with, and call it "toxic masculinity". Did you know that it doesn't just apply to men? Did you know that each woman and man and everything else have femininity as well as masculinity inside them? I'm guessing you didn't know that. I'm objecting to your childish impulse to hijack an intelligent debate to drag some names through the mud. If you think that there's something inherently wrong with stage Orange, or stage Orange men in particular, then you're just missing the point. These stages were not conceptualized for you as a tool to shame and judge people with and help you feel superior. Or just be honest and admit that you are just blabbering nonsense about people because they trigger some issues for you. My recommendation is to figure that out with a therapist, but if you must, there's probably some feminist extremist forums where you can vent all your rage against these men and no one will ask you to make logical sense or stay on topic.

From Wikipedia: Explain to me how Dan Bilzerian is guilty of this.

Okay, because I asked you to explain the toxic masculinity of it. So then if you respond to that with a bunch of unrelated criticisms of JP, that have nothing to do with toxic masculinity I'm going to call you on that. I did not ignore your explanation. I read it and it makes sense. He according to you associates women with chaos and men with order. Is the value judgment on chaos as being negative from you, by the way, or from him? Because I actually think you need both. From chaos comes creativity, progression and new ideas. Without order, they would not get implemented.

@Heart of Space That's a cop-out. This entire thread is a perfect place to discuss what it is and is not. I'm addressing the parts of your post that don't have anything to do with masculinity or toxicity, but just unrelated criticisms of JP who happens to be a man. Which is most of your response. Wait, isn't that word salad and misdirection?

Since I'm very dissatisfied with the examples posted so far, and I don't want to seem biased, here's an example of something that's actually toxic and most women would never think of:

Alright, thank you for the explanation. What is toxic about being Christian though? What is masculine about it? Spreading your belief system is not a masculine thing, it's a people thing. Also word salad, misdirection, flowery language and disguise, I understand these criticisms but these things are not typically masculine. Men and women both use them often. I ascribe them more to politicians and intellectuals, whatever gender they may be. When you say "toxic" I assume that people are getting hurt because of it. I don't see how Dan Bilzerian is hurting anyone. Let the frat boy be a frat boy. To each his own and all.

@MsNobody @Heart of Space If the purpose here is really somewhat educational/truth-seeking, can we at least explain and define what is "toxic" about the examples we post? It looks to me like you're just posting videos of famous people that you don't like for some reason and oh btw they're a man. Jordan Peterson, Dan Bilzerian, really I don't see what they have in common except penis and fame. Because I have no anger issues towards either gender, I don't like it when people start gender wars. I have a pretty good grasp of the trauma that both hetero sexes can accumulate due to unpleasant interactions and the unjustices that unconscious men and women do to each other, but if you act like (attributes of) an entire sex is a problem, then you are actually the problem.

When I first got sucked into this, I disliked Leo, haha. I remember perceiving his triangular face and manner of speaking as hostile and overly negative, almost devilish, haha. Then I quickly got fascinated. I realised the depth and quality of the information, and I hugely appreciated the way he laid it all out there in an explicit and comprehensive way that no one else seemed to. And then Leo on screen told me to my face that I don't exist. WHAT?! How can this be?? I was sold. This was more interesting than anything else. Watching these videos that my peers and colleagues didn't seem to really get has been an addiction, an escape, something I took pride in and also something that made me feel really special in times when I needed that. But who cares about all the egoic side effects: what matters is that the content really helped me in a lot of ways, and I'm much happier for it! I suppose that's my point. Some people swear by worship as their favourite way to absorb enlightenment from their guru. I'm pretty sure Leo is not a fan of this phenomenon, if I'm not misunderstanding. I'd say keep your skepticism and don't forget to test things for yourself. If you're just memorizing stuff you have no direct experience of, you're missing out. My friend the psychologist told me that it's quite common that a patient can develop a crush on their therapist. And that in fact, makes the therapy more effective with a higher success rate! Do with that what you will

These attributes are great to make friends with, but are not key when it comes to attraction. They're nice-to-haves. What's key is being at the cause, not the effect. So taking initiative, getting your group of friends to do something, organising a party, having a cool passion that you are known for and can show and take people along with. Stuff like that. Having a "thing" that you are really good at, and are known for, which makes you a leader of the group in at least some situations. That's gold. Honestly, I wouldn't start there. Too much smiling and expressiveness makes you seem submissive. Express your emotions as they come to you naturally, but don't be fake. They always know. However, if people have called you unexpressive and serious, that could be a sign that you're not as emotionally aware of what's going on inside you, or not comfortable expressing your authentic emotions. The more comfortable you are expressing your emotions, the easier it is for girls to trust you, relate to you and feel comfortable around you. Again, not key, but can be important. The more "loose" you are, the more attractive you are. If you want to work on this, I'd recommend improv classes and insight meditation.

@ColeMC01 Thanks for giving more information. Since you didn't answer the parts about leadership, initiatives and personal passions, I bet that's the place to look. And what about feedback from female friends? They are much better at perceiving these things than guy friends. If you know how to interpret what they say.

@James123 I'll try it some time. Being informed about the MAOI's in it, and all I won't take more than I've ever done before and add cocoa, but I'd be curious what it does.

It could be that you are not being dominant, confident or not displaying leadership skills. It's usually about how you position yourself in social settings. Do you naturally take initiatives? Invite people to do some activity? Are you ever the first to get up? Do you have passions/interests that are unique to you and that you like to talk passionately about to anyone who will hear it? Are you confident enough to disagree with people and differentiate yourself, or are you perhaps too focused on being accepted and liked? Are you comfortable enough with girls that you can tease them? Just some guesses. But first things first: are you sure? Guys are notoriously bad at reading signals. I know I am. So what data are you working with? Have you asked girls you know about whether they think anyone likes you? I'd start by collecting some feedback from female friends, if you haven't already. For guys, it's almost never about looks. It can be about personal hygiene, clothing style and grooming, though.

@James123 Here it is: Well, since the normal trip duration is 5-8 hours, don't you think you should be careful and explicit about recommending something that will make it 15 hours? I imagine that can be quite jarring to happen unexpectedly. I understand the impulse to inspire people to go as deep as you enjoyed to go, but if they did not expect or want to, it can be traumatizing and turn people off psychedelics for a long time. Besides, OP is already upping his dose. I wouldn't recommend scaling up in multiple ways at a time. Or do, if you want to, but you should have all the information. My friend who is quite experienced with shrooms drank a harmala potion given to her without proper explanation, before they drank the lemon shroom tea, and she had a terrible time, not knowing who she was and losing the concept of time for several hours, because she didn't know it was going to do that.

Are you sure you're doing it right? Because I clearly spot some arrogance here, using your spiritual ego to put others down who disagree with you. Where's your morality now? Didn't you mention humility?

What concerns?

Directory of locations for Vipassana-style retreats: https://www.dhamma.org/en/locations/directory There's many listed here in different countries, often affordable or free.

@James123 Chocolate also contains an MAOI, which potentiates and prolongs your trip and can lead to blackout (anecdotally. Happened to my friend recently). I don't like you recommending it without mentioning that part about MAOIs. For an example see this story https://www.reddit.com/r/Psychonaut/comments/5va3yt/raw_cacao_mushrooms_holy_fuck_the_aztecs_knew_how/

I would like some feedback on how to handle the following situation maturely, in a way that is most conducive to the personal growth and well being of each. Yesterday I took 200 mics of 1p-LSD with 6 friends. The 7th person was a friend of mine who had offered to remain sober and tripsit. I gladly took him up on it, naively not foreseeing how his personal baggage and level of emotional intelligence (which I sure had caught some glimpses of since I've known him) made him unfit to be a sitter. It went badly. One of my dear friends who was tripping with us is a woman who has been on a spiritual jouney for years, processing her traumatic childhood events. Let's say it left her with a deep distrust of men, and a hole where a father figure should have been. She's very conscious about it. It seemed certain that she would have a deeply emotional trip, which she also warned us for at the start. My friend who was tripsitting definitely has not it easy in life, growing up with a facial deformity and a troubled relationship with his mother. I'd say he's less emotionally aware of his trauma, baggage and how it's making him react in certain situations. Or maybe that's just the mainstream average. There's been times I've said something he didn't like, and he clearly went into re-living being bullied, and stayed mad for days. When he arrived, he kept his sunglasses on inside and clearly had trouble connecting with my other friends, whom he didn't know. People got a distant vibe from him, and although everyone was friendly with each other, he clearly struggled to feel welcome and included. He introduced himself with the statement that he was here "to make good on a debt, incurred by me tripsitting him one time". That was perceived as very off-putting and cold, and a clear red flag in retrospect. Here's where it got ugly: 3 hours into the trip, my female friend was crying in the garden, calmly stating to everyone who came up to her that she was in the middle of processing something and she needed space. There was enough space, so everyone complied but the sober guy. He clearly felt rejected and started to argue with her, saying it was bullshit. He crossed his arms and kept refusing to leave. Appalled and in disbelief of such emotional immaturity, but also peaking on acid, I asked him why he wouldn't leave her alone at her request, cause I thought he should. He repeated that it was a bullshit request that he wouldn't stand for. I then told him that with that attitude he better go, because I could see that he was causing her to have a really bad experience. He then abruptly packed his bags and left. 5 hours of LSD to go. I then had to go tell inform the others, some of whom it was the first time for, that we were now tripping alone and no one was sober. I could visually see the black and white ripples of panic and disbelief spread through the room. We managed fine after that. The tripsitting friend is now angry with me and let me know that he doesnt want to see me. Clearly I should never have put these people in this situation. He didn't know anyone there. He does not have the tools to handle his emotions maturely and keep distance from them while being responsible for a group. She is working hard trying to feel safe with men, and I basically put her in a vulnerable situation with an unsafe man. I rightly feel guilty about this. It's very naive. I tend to assume everyone will just get along. What do I do here? Wait until he comes around? State clearly that he acted like an asshole and did something umacceptable in my opinion? I think there is value in stating clearly what boundaries have been crossed and being firm there. On the other hand, I'm not that angry with him because I see that he is where he is in his development, doesn't know better yet and I put him there, expecting too much of him. I should have protected these people from this, knowing what I know about them.

Yeah maybe not, although they would have found out at some point. I suppose they weren't really wondering where he was, I got the sense that they all disliked him because of his closed-off vibe. This idea would have never entered my mind in that state though. I'm super honest on LSD and being tactful or anything but the immediate truth seems complicated and unnecessary. So informing them seemed like the most honest thing to do, plus I was also trying to process the events myself by talking to people about it. I am a little angry. He basically shit the bed. He volunteered the offer to tripsit, then despite my explicit time schedule I shared, he was late and made everyone wait for an hour, and it was all downhill from there.

Yes, it's a good point that this was way too many people tripping in a group... I don't think I would do that again in an environment where it's not okay to get lost. Festivals are different. Or private beaches/huge gardens, but I don't know anyone with those, haha.