flowboy

Make life choices with intuition, listen to the heart, let the mind figure out how to make it work. My 2 cents

Practice opening and putting on the condom many times. Keep it on and masturbate with the condom on a couple times (not to completion necessarily, save your semen :p), so that you get used to the action and the feeling of having it on and being horny, and it doesn't weird you out when the moment is there. Also: Just Have Fun!

That's what I thought. Until I met the right people. There's incredible connections to be made! After 28 years of thinking I'm weird, I met basically my brain-twin who thinks so much alike it's insane. Gotta put yourself out there, though. Introversion is not an excuse

@Hardkill But how will it help next time you interact with someone? Or whatever other situation will it change? Since the average woman doesn't exist, you don't know anything more about any individual you meet. Much better to decide what you want to be true! Then act as if it is. And watch it become true.

https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/office/export-and-import-onenote-notebooks-a4b60da5-8f33-464e-b1ba-b95ce540f309 This has worked for me to get a client a copy of my notebook.

THIS! Had to learn this in 2020 multiple times. Well put. Thank you! I'm no longer opening resumés from girls and taking down the vacancy posting

Thank you, that was wonderful. A facepalm a day keeps the doctor away

@kras Here's what you do.

@Hulia I edited my answer for clarification I've heard "Men are from mars, women are from venus" is a good book, you could look that up. Haven't read it myself though. I would highly recommend to read a book by David Deida if you are interested in understanding masculine/feminine dynamics and differences more

YES BUT THEY ARE IN A BAND? You just proved the point you are disputing. Those girls are attracted to their massive social status, which makes them love whatever other attributes they are perceived to have (tender, introvert, or not, hardly matters) Also show me a clip of Leo saying you can't have a feminine side to attract girls. Or that you have to be macho. He doesn't say that at all. What's happening is that you are not in touch with your masculine enough, to empathize or intuit what it feels like to be a man. You try to listen to masculine advice from your feminine, which causes misinterpretation ("dehumanising"). So you can't hear what he's actually saying, because he's not speaking your language. That's okay. It's not for you then. You can work on integrating your masculine more, then you will get less triggered and confused by it. Just like I had to do some real work to integrate the feminine, so now I can kind of get what women talk like to each other, and it doesn't sound opaque and backwards to me anymore. Mostly? Understanding the opposite sex takes work. Judging from your familiar paradigm is too easy.

Back when I had a lot of high school misery coming up, someone recommended I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. And I am. It reads like dumbed-down psycho-cybernetics mixed with LOA, wrapped in a fairy tale for 8 year olds. It's annoying, full of made-up words and devoid of examples. I hate it. I will keep going at least until page 100.

@Evil Raccoon I definitely don't have a fucking-problem, but thank you for your concern sir

Obviously there's a 'fucking' problem ? If you had even read the topic carefully, you'd have known that OP did get naturally an erection. It just went away when it was go-time due to nervousness and overthinking.

I took them though, to get over the condom anxiety. No regrets there. Led to funny situations however, when my gf suddenly would decide she preferred an evening walk instead, and I sat there with a raging boner. I also used it one time to help me in a threesome. No regrets there either. I probably could have done without it, but I don't see the harm.

Just deleted my numbered list of all the women I fucked. I've had it for years, buried somewhere in my Evernote. It has felt for a good while like something that needed to go. But I wasn't quite ready to let it go. And so the completer in me just had to keep it updated every time. Keep score. The original idea was to keep going and stop at 100. However, that was the 22 year old me. It's a controversial thing to have, but I stand by it. I haven't shown it to people and it doesn't hurt anyone either. It gave me some joy, a little self-esteem boost when comparing the number with my friends', and was a nice way to rebel against my dad. But now it feels ridiculous and it obviously corrupts my mindset. I'm going to take advantage of this momentum and let it go.

I just told the girl who comes by every once in a while for a massage that ends in sex, that I'm not interested in that kind of thing anymore. Which is a radical step for me. Screw my network of women-whom-i-sometimes-fuck. I built it to distract myself, to guarantee a wet hole to put it in whenever I felt a perceived need, so I could perpetuate that illusion. It all needs to be cleaned up. I've tasted the Real Thing (TM). Meaning, sex with someone I felt deeply connected to, which made it infinitely more blissful. Maybe for the first time in my life. At least this level of intensity is not something I remember from before. I've felt deep connections with girls before, even some that I was equally over the moon with. But then, my baseline level of awareness and openness was lower, and there was more neediness, which still made it more pornographic and less profound in comparison. And in this glorious way, my appetite for casual sex has been effectively spoiled. The thought actually disgusts me. And what a blessing. Because sexual urges are too strong to just surpress with discipline. A transformative experience like this, is the only thing that could have cured me. The belief that a hard cock means I need to find people to have sex with, has been such a destructive influence on my creativity. A huge timesink, as well as muddying the waters of my clear sustained focus. I think I'm ready for that 'sexual transmutation' all the kids these days are ravin' about. What will I do if I don't see this woman again? I hope I do, cause I really like this one, but it doesn't change this at all. I will just stay celibate until I encounter something truly meaningful again. And when that presents itself, I don't need to have practiced 'game' in the meantime. Everything will flow automatically. I'm a naturally attractive man when I'm on my path, there's nothing I have to try or do for it. God already made that clear on the plane home. More on that later, maybe.

@RendHeaven Awesome initiative Awesome question I commend you, sir. Here's what you're missing: lead by making the first move in vulnerability. Share what you are feeling and what is going on for you. If you feel resistance, you are on the right track. People tend to mirror honesty and openness, and leading by first exposing yourself will create trust.

@sleep I've met some recent true friends: Doing workshops in activities I was interested in, but also scared of In a therapy retreat while dealing with childhood conditioning You never know where they come from, but they present themselves when you are brave and express your true interests in action. Are you surpressing your authentic interests as a habit, to get along with your current, shallow friends?

Familiar dream. I'm at my parental home. Realising I am 20 years old and still have to graduate high school this year. Failing again would be too embarassing. But it's impossible, because I'm so behind. I have only gone to some of the classes, and not written anything down. I have so much math, biology, and Latin to catch up on, that it makes me sick with panic and think of quitting. How could I have been so foolish to be lazy and procrastinate studying for so long...

@Hardkill Looking for simple truths like this is a dead end...the world is nuanced. And what would it bring you? Women are hornier than men? Now what?

@Beginner Mind I see now that I was being unclear and unnecessarily rude. I apologize. Let me try to explain what I meant. Of course there is nothing wrong with getting opinions. It's just that if you're not willing to impulsively try out different things to say and fail, you won't be able to be spontaneous and free-flowing in conversation with her. And then, by the law of state transference, she will also not feel free to say whatever, and the interaction will be stifled. The last statement is the effect it's going to have on the other when you showcase what you think of as a weakness. Your job is to love it, so you won't see it as a weakness. Fixing it can be a part of that, or not. That way she won't feel the burden of it and it's easy for her to love you too.

@Beginner Mind Do you only do things out of need? So when you transcend all needs, what then?

Open your eyes, man As long as you are in the seeking-fulfillment modus though, it's natural to project that same motivation onto others. So to you, they are invisible.

@Beginner Mind perhaps my harsh approach was not a great choice. Just know that I mean no offense. I'm trying to point at something here, which, if you fix it, will get you the real results with the ladies that you are looking for. Do you see it?