flowboy

You must not have read my post more than halfway through. I am an actual "sufferer" and this is my testimony.

@somegirl If people on the internet can talk you out of your relationship, you shouldn't be in it. You'll be fine either way. Herpes is annoying but not dangerous. If you take care of your health, the symptoms stay away. The worst part of it is actually how people like these react to the idea of it. Of course you are free to want no part of it. You have no social obligation to stay in the relationship if you don't want to be around someone who has that. Just know that it doesn't necessarily make you safe. Sleeping with the average guy who's been "around town" but doesn't test himself for all the known STDs, is more dangerous than sleeping with your current guy if he does test himself for all the other things that are more dangerous. So whatever you decide, if you care about safety, consider taking a full STD panel every 3-6 months, depending on your activity. It's a good health habit to have. Also ask if your bedpartners do that. And pay attention to what they actually test! In the Netherlands, where I live, they don't even test you for HIV if you ask the doctor to. Only chlamydia, gonorrea and syphilis. But there's many more. You have to jump through hoops to get that the other tests. @Leo Gura Not every decision in the relationship space is a strategic one. You can try to decide with your mind instead of your heart, and objectify the fuck out of people, but it won't bring your heart happiness. I tried. You tried, too. Or did you already forget the long list of requirements you put in your vacancy-for-leo's-girlfriend? How tall, perfect shape of the body, she must have characteristic X and not Y, and score Z on the consciousness scale. How's that working out for ya? To all the people being so wonderfully judgmental and finger-pointy?: @Leo Gura @Keyhole @Preety_India In the US, 1 of every 4 women has HSV-2, and one in every 5 men. 80% are asymptomatic. What that means is, while you are so busy proclaiming to stay away from these "dirty" people, there is a good chance that you ARE one. Have you ever been tested for herpes? Probably not. Why would you, if you are asymptomatic? And while we're at it, you so-called "clean" people, who say they care about their health so much... when was your last full STD panel? Have you been tested for Human Papilloma Virus for example? I bet you haven't. This is a much more serious virus that a LOT of men and women have, and are transmitting to each other constantly, again most being asymptomatic, and it actually causes ovarian cancer. Have you been tested for hepatitis? Have you been tested recently for mycoplasma genitalium? I could go on. The point is, you're claiming to care so much about health, while actually it is not health that makes you react like this. Herpes is harmless in healthy people. That's why so many people have it and not know. The real reason is because you don't want to feel the shame and stigma that you're now putting upon others, to make yourself feel clean. You are reacting out of fear of something that you yourself are creating. Yes, you guessed it. I have herpes. Since I got diagnosed I had three or four flare-ups, then it stayed away. Since I knew what it was, I've been diligent and responsible about it, and haven't given it to anyone. It's been asymptomatic for over 2 years now. I've even thought I got it again, twice since, and went to the doctor to check it out. Refused sex until I knew what it was. And each time it was just a skin lesion due to shaving or whatever. There, I said my piece. Just had to get this off my herpes ridden chest. Now cast me outside of the city wall, banish me with the other lepers so the rest of you can wash your hands off me and feel clean.

I have a cast iron pan, and every time I wash it, my towel ends up black. It's just always giving off blackness it seems. Is that normal?

Hard Work One thing is for sure: I definitely am capable of sitting at my desk for 10 hours and working really hard without any caffeine (or chocolate), having an uninterrupted focus almost the entire time. This is such a big deal to me because I've always been told that I can't, and should take neurotoxic and addictive drugs. I at times was the loudest voice saying that, of course. But to do that, I HAVE TO: Open no unrelated websites during or even the morning before. None. Don't use phone at all during or before Eat very light. I had a fried egg and some nuts and fruit Going for a run in the morning makes a huge difference It's really like walking a tightrope. If I stray from that rule even for a moment, I'm screwed, and the rest of the day my productivity tanks so dramatically that even my colleagues notice. Which happened yesterday, and caused a trauma response in me. A lot of old shame and fears around getting "found out" and fired. (I've never been fired for such a reason in reality) I've also lied about what I had been doing. I had been doing everything but working, but I could not bring myself to confess that. Anyway: the point is that today I made up for it and I definitely can do it, I just have to be really strict. Well, boo-hoo. Everyone's life is hard in different ways. This is my thing. It's good practice though: impulse control is where I have a lot to gain. Also, work is much more fun and satisfying this way. Life in general is much more satisfying and fun being completely focused on the current activity or moment. It's just a sneaky trap that makes it feel like a sacrifice. I would call this progress EDIT: And I found more energy afterwards, to actually do something for my biz and study my sales script for another 1.5 hours! I think I'm beginning to find that "whole nother gear" all the kids on the entrepreneur forums are raving about.

I think @Hardkill was the first to show me that it's possible to be lost in mental masturbation on multiple levels. Thank you

@Flowerfaeiry Let's assume this is not about coffee. After a couple weeks the need for caffeine really goes away. How are your iron levels?

On less than 7 hours of sleep, I apparently am so impaired that I might as well be drunk. I'm not exaggerating. This is something I have to remember. In the evenings it can sometimes seem like it won't make that much difference tomorrow if I stay up for a little longer. (I do think I had a good reason though - I was on the phone with the woman I'm in love with, and we can really talk for hours and it goes by like nothing, we turn each other on, make each other laugh and it's just really pleasurable to enjoy each others company even at a distance. So no regrets there. But next time I can do that an hour earlier.) Next time I somehow miss out on sleep, I will just take my power nap at the start of the day - it just is required. There is no "pushing through sleepiness", not in this job. With physical labor that might work. Not programming. Maintaining Balance - Keeping Chaos Meter low ✅I was now behind on my monthly plan, so I cut 7 unimportant things and moved everything around on the planner until it all is easily doable again. I find that I don't work well when I have too much planned on a day at all - I only work well when it all seems easily doable. Of course there's an emergency mode for things with a hard deadline, but that's not applicable here. I'm building something for the future, and currently I'm the only stakeholder. ✅I did the same for my work schedule - moved everything until I only had one thing planned per day. I find that enough gets added on the day itself usually, that any more would be too much. At this point I reward myself with a bit of dark chocolate? ✅My inbox has been piling up with ideas I wrote down and notes I took from meetings - this also is a source of stress, because I have a standard of keeping it empty now and I want to stick to it. I process everything within an hour. Phew, much better. That stack of notes was stressing me out. Gotta learn to write them in the right place immediately. This is actually pretty cool what I just did for myself. One day of being a bit behind on the above things can easily cause a chain reaction and throw me into chaos and stress for weeks after, if I don't nip it in the bud. (butt?) Progress?

I want to be able to control it with my mind. So a headset that is also used for neurofeedback therapy, detects my level of focus, and the more focused and present I am (brainwave frequency) the better I can control it/the faster I can move/some other positive thing. Another cool feature would be to train me to evoke different positive emotional states. So my star would be gratitude-propelled.

And I found my candy deficiency through eating chocolate. Salty snacks are addictive. If we're not careful and just follow our cravings, we'd add more salt than is healthy every day. If you're actually deficient in minerals and therefore have insane salt cravings, you should really see your GP about that. Can be an indication of something more serious.

YES? Many people I talk to have noticed feeling tired, sluggish, and just general malaise that they didn't know was connected to gluten until they thought about it, and noticed that their usual meals made it worse. All during high school I had such bad brain fog after eating my usual whole grain bread lunch that it was hard for me to think straight and socialize. I even had to go home to sleep it off. I'm not gluten-intolerant though. I can eat it a bit and be fine. It just saps my energy when I have a lot. I'm convinced that gluten is not a good thing to eat for most people. Can't speak for all people. If it never bothers you, great. Keep an eye indeed on how your food makes you feel. When you do start to experience some negative effects, there's so many alternatives

Seconded! Do this and take your time. Put on music. Use oil or lube. But don't fantasize. You'll find that it will satisfy you even if you don't ejaculate. (Which has the added benefit of not lowering your testosterone levels) It's called tantric masturbation.

I used to think this too. It's usually more benign than that. The feeling is more like: "Hey man, come on, shape up, be a man, don't take yourself too seriously. Solve your emotional problem so that you can joke around with us, and come up with a good comeback." The problem is that when you are depressed, you are taking yourself too seriously so it will hurt. Or rather, you will hurt yourself using the other person's words. I've been bullied and humiliated and even had my ass kicked while a girl I had a crush on stood there laughing. Multiple times, basically. So I do think that I get it.

It works! After 5 days of not being able to brain properly, I finally feel like I have adequate dopamine levels. I'm focused on what I'm doing, motivated, not easily distracted and not tempted to go get drinks or food all the time. Just feeling strong and productive. I have 20 grams of chocolate a day now, which I think is very minimal. Not doing the supplements currently. They work kind of, but not when I use them every day it seems. Being more physically active definitely has helped. I'll have some more ups and downs probably, but I'm glad I powered through and didn't start back on coffee again. This already, what I have now, is a better quality of focus than I have with it.

Had a wonderful angry run this morning. It's an orgasmic sort of rage that tends to propel me forward when I do a run and listen to music. Eminem is great for that. I had a feeling this was going to be a very masculine day filled with self chosen pain and challenge. However, the rest of the morning was very smooth finished doing my taxes early. It was such a big thing in my mind, but I'm becoming way better at simplifying and doing things efficiently. I think in my next place to live there is definitely going to be a heavy bag to hit. Really enjoy that masculine rage energy when working out. But not before I get one of these...: Brain is coming back online slowly! Even before I've eaten, I can already read and process information at reasonable speed again. Huge improvement since a couple days ago. Is it the running that helped? Had a very pleasant coaching call with @Eva, who is going to help me declutter digitally and physically. Such a nice vibe. I'm excited!

I don't trust the animal communicator from this particular video because she only seems to be telling the owner what she wants to hear, and just typical general dog things. I think she's cold-reading the owner more than communicating with the dog. I don't know though! However, I am a believer. This documentary is what convinced me. What a great lady.

This is so cool!

Having a back-up plan is a good way to undermine your resolve. When things get hard, on track for your life purpose, and the next step seems impossible to figure out, the person with the back up plan will choose the back-up plan and choose to fail. The person without the back-up plan will figure it out somehow and succeed. Screw back-up plans. Really. It's self-sabotage. Unless you're starving in a third-world country.

I too have many different dreams within my vision: travelling here to live like this, living there and do that, create this kind of business, and this, and then this... It's not a problem. But those are just a bunch of ideas that I really would like to realise at some point. And maybe they will change over the years and that's okay. I had to pick one thing to start with, and I did. Shamanic breathing (leo has a video on it) is great to get in touch with your intuition. Have you tried it? The way I did it was pick the wrong thing first, work hard on it for a few months, and feel burnt out, then smoke some weed and realise what I want to do instead. So picking the wrong thing will still lead you to picking the right thing, faster than the person who doesn't pick at all.

If dating were food, this is the most nutricious, complete, filling and delicious meal that I could ask for. And I'm not gonna spoil my appetite.

Look at that perfect looking breakfast. I didn't even plan for it to be a triangle ?

Still felt extremely groggy and unmotivated upon waking, but it's nothing some Wim Hof Breathing, a freezing cold shower and a tiny bit of 1P-LSD won't fix And before I knew it, my bed was freshly made and my floor was vacuumed and mopped Interesting how I attached I was to the frustration that usually came with household tasks. This time it was just enjoyable. None of the usual stress at all. Is it possible that these judgments, complaints, criticisms, resentments are meaningless mechanisms whose sole purpose is to help me avoid feeling tremendously good, loved, valued, inspired? - Carolyn Elliott Getting a sense for the depth of that question. I walk to the store with some happy, peaceful tunes in my ears. I get a bit of an intuition for the vastness and expansive joy that would be, if I allowed myself to enjoy every particular experience. Even the ones that conventionally are regarded as uncomfortable. I love to look at all the different people. I contemplate how everything is perfect the way it is.

Caffeine Withdrawals Roughest caffeine withdrawals since I last quit. When I quit everything but dark chocolate (not realising how much that still contributed), I was already getting tired and headaches. Now that I eat very little chocolate too, it's just rough. Nothing feels fun. Everything is bleh. Admittedly, not going cold turkey (using dark chocolate) makes it more bearable?. But it also draws out the bleh time. My attention doesn't get absorbed into tasks like it normally does. So today I struggled with some hard programming problems that I barely understood, but I got past them. Normally I would have enjoyed that. Now, it's like whatever, let's go for another walk. I have SERIOUS trouble understanding graphs, hierarchies, schemas, and visual explanations. They just go over my head. It's a problem. I thought I could have coffee once a week, so I went ahead and bought some. Today I changed my mind. It's just a clever way of the addiction to work itself back in. Just going to power through. In 2 weeks, I'll feel better every hour of the waking day, than on the peak of a caffeine high.

Posting on social media actually works! Someone just contacted me and asked to pour her heart out to me, because what I had written sounded so familiar. She's going to try out the tip from my video, and wants more. We set up a video call date. She could become my client, even! I'd feel weird asking for that much money with a friend-of-friend, maybe. But in any case, this is a great opportunity to get to know my market better Already got two chats set up. Haven't even finished the website yet. Can hardly believe my luck.

I can tell that working on my business 5-6 days a week, even if it's only for an hour, is much better for me than forcing 2-3 fulltime days. The context sticks better. Because I'm immersed for some time every day, I know all the next things that need to happen. Additionally, sitting down to work after work is still a bit of a drain on my willpower. Not much, but I tend to be tired after a day of programming and would rather chill. I'm intelligently expanding my comfort zone. I get a feel for what I could easily do, what would be stretching it, and what I could do but then as a result would feel entitled to all sorts of destabilizing rewards, and will probably also take a multi day break and have trouble getting back in. So I find the sweet spot. I stop when I feel like I could still do some more. That way, I also have some willpower left to reward myself in a healthy way. Maybe today I only do 1.5 hours of working on the website / social media profile. So much to do, but I have to take into account how much I don't like it and still have to get used to it. So 1.5 hours is fine. Perhaps tomorrow a bit more. Perhaps not. Consistency is much more important. My new schedule is awesome. I suddenly have a built-in daily time to focus on what I'm trying to accomplish. I can now see how important that is. So funny, when I researched how people managed to start businesses while working a job, I found that most of them spend about 2-4 hours a day. And my perfectionistic brain thought: "That can't be enough for ME", and invented a different, more complicated scheme. Turns out the more complicated scheme isn't usually the best one, especially when it doesn't come from experience.

Reactions To Video Your method works super well by the way ? (with picture) - Friend D. I really like this way of working. - Friend J. the psychologist I advised your method today to a patient with ADHD - J. the psychologist