flowboy

It feels similar to when I was doing keto for a few months. But I'm not sure. I thought that ketosis only takes 3 days the first time you do it, and you slip back into it faster as your body gets used to it, but again, not an expert.

Check what he says at 34 minutes!

A distraction

I was just watching the blog video on Why Debates Don't Work. Leo's talking about how if he went deep enough with someone in conversation, they would break down and their ego would have to deploy different defense mechanisms, because their survival was being threatened. And all I can think is... LET'S DO IT! It would be so cool to have him in a deep discussion with a volunteer, and start pulling on threads until the defense mechanisms can be observed. It would also be educational to see a live ego deconstruction and how it works. Many people would relate. You could point out and subtitle the different phases and kinds of defenses that an ego goes through. I volunteer. Not because I'm thinking "challenge accepted", but rather because I enjoy having my reality fucked with and being proven wrong and confused. That's where the most growth has always been. So maybe I'm not the ideal candidate because I am too willing. Or maybe I am the ideal candidate, because I am deluding myself that I would enjoy it, but actually would have a bad breakdown. Who knows. Isn't that a great high-consciousness interactive show, though? I bet many people would be up for that, and everyone who watched would learn so much from a practical example that they can identify with.

I'm delighted to announce that I am so much MORE okay today

The obvious ayahuasca-and-tobacco comes to mind Why are you asking this?

Didn't need to read the rest of that.

It seems you have a recurring pattern with people taking advantage of you. Have you read Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott? It's really something that can help with these situations. I'm using it for shadow work and I do feel it's helping me. Check it out

So that support you gave, came with strings attached. Did she know this?

@Vision What about intermittent fasting? I'm not an expert on this or anything, just my dad has diabetes type 2 and he's been on metformin for years. Now that he's taken up intermittent fasting, his insulin sensitivity has gone up and the doctor says he can take less meds, almost quit them. Being impressed with that, I started to take up intermittent fasting. Here's how I eat: I drink only water until 12pm. That gets me in ketosis. Especially if I work out in the morning. Then my breakfast at 12 is either eggs fried in coconut oil, or a fatty steak. That prolongs the ketosis for another hour. After that, I slowly start eating fruit and the other carby stuff, until I do it all over again the next morning. I feel great on it. Perhaps you would like to try it.

Becoming a mod. "The other" Magic Pill To Enlightenment

@The_Truth_Seeker If you don't wanna live, then you have nothing to lose. Take a large dose of psychedelics with a sitter, and see what happens. Maybe your ego dying is satisfying enough for you, for now. Worth the shot.

@Someone here You may find that you have resistance against doing this (the forgiving yourself, and releasing the emotional attachment, moving to a 'meh' state). For me, it felt like I much preferred to keep hating on myself and scaring myself. That's a sign that it's true, though. The attachment to the negative emotion = the attachment to smoking. I had to read this in two books before I got it (Psycho-Cybernetics and Existential Kink) Good luck

The negative emotional reaction that you have when you slip up, or "fail", or even when you think about the lung damage, is actually what keeps you going back to it. I learnt this after many years of attempting to quit. I have zero cravings now. On the surface level, it seems that associating smoking with pain (by negative self-talk or scaring yourself with facts), would deter you from it. Actually though, it keeps the attachment in place. Why this is, has to do with the subconscious, and its desires not aligning with your conscious ones. (it secretly enjoys the emotional pain that you give yourself. I know it's weird) To be successful in quitting, you have to associate smoking not with pain and hate, but with NOTHING. Meh. That's the key. (if you are wondering how to do this, start with forgiving yourself for starting to smoke ever. Leo's forgiveness exercise may help. And then any time you slip up, become good at quickly forgiving yourself and just go "yeah whatever. Stupid but I'll be fine. I am allowed to make mistakes", and go right back to being quit without giving it a second thought.) And simultaneously work on associating NOT smoking with awesomeness. What I did was write down an affirmation everyday about why I loved being a non-smoker. Example: "I love that I can walk up two flights of stairs without seeing stars, because I am a non smoker". Or: "I love that I can talk to people for hours without needing to go outside and interrupt the flow, because I am a non-smoker." Or: "I love breathing freely as a non-smoker." Et cetera. I used to hang them up on my wall. My entire wall was covered, but it did help. - Make sure that they state that you are a non-smoker in the present - Make sure that they have no negativity in them, but give you a light, warm feeling. This is super important for lasting change Try to come up with one every day for your 30 day challenge.

@Someone here Do you want a golden, but counter-intuitive tip?

Cool!

@asha176 Hey, you asked the question These are your limiting beliefs: It is necessary to be an expert in a field to be able to start a successful business Experts are the only people who can make the right decisions for a business You can only access expert knowledge if you are very rich You can't possibly figure it out on your own just by immersing yourself and learning by doing Now I know these things are not true, but if you want to hold on to these beliefs and stay stuck, that's up to you. Watch the interviews I mentioned.

I don't approach a lot either. I think I approached about once every couple months. What I did was when I felt a strong sense that this was a perfect opportunity, and I'd regret it if I didn't take it, I would just push myself to do it. I think we've gotten to the root of the issue here though. You have let this thing defeat you and are playing victim to it. As long as you say "that's how I am", then that's all you can ever be. You are limiting yourself. Oh Tinder has destroyed your self esteem has it? Bad, bad Tinder. Nothing you can do about that, right? I say this with love but you are being a victim and need to take steps to fix your self esteem. Obsessing over the right age or the right Spiral Dynamics stage is not bringing you any closer to the situation you desire. Time to pull out the old classic. Don't think "yeah yeah, I know". Just watch it again. I do it periodically, to give myself a victim check-up.

@Mind of a beast Go to peru or Europe and take ayahuasca, if you feel drawn to that You didn't answer my other questions: do you already have ideas to write about, or do you need to get inspired first?

I don't even know what that means but you're way overthinking this. Let go of these labels and just feel whether someone resonates with you. I live in Europe. Lockdown has been going on for a while now. I've had two relationships in it already. By the way, I'm an introvert. In my country, people still go on walks. So I talked to a girl while walking in the park, and dated her for a couple of months. She's a good friend now. They also still go outside and bike to the store. So I talked to a girl while she was unlocking her bike, and dated her for 6 months. What exactly is so hard?

I can confirm this is true

I'm surprised nobody talks about this. You need to align yourself with men. Build a social circle. Take initiatives. Organise parties or hangouts or any other events that you can be the leader of. Girls look at whether you are aligned with other men and whether they respect you! If they feel like aligning themselves with you will get them to the outer edge of the social hierarchy, they're not even going to look at you. Important point: you don't need to be "the" alpha. And trying to force that will yield spectacularly bad results. Human friend groups are fluid and they can have more than one leader depending on the situation. But you do need to have people respect you. And to do that, you need to take initiative and make yourself vulnerable. Can't just be a follower.

You have to discern whether they really believe those things, or whether they are just jokes. Real racists don't make that many racist jokes, they're more like serious statements and "telling how it really is". That's a red flag. Have you asked them what they really believe about whatever race this was about?

Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to be perfect before you can start dating. Also, if it's not lasting forever, that's okay. It's good, even crucial I'd say, to have some relationship practice before you start the one you want to have the family with. Because you will get to know yourself in ways that you really can't, in solitude. Relationships bring up deep shit that you can then resolve. It wouldn't have come out in solitude. Your partner will trigger you like no one else. And that's a good thing. I can recommend to listen to some good podcasts on relationships, like some Aubrey Marcus podcast, and Kat & Tully. Relationships can be catalysts for growth. Just find someone who is also into evolving themselves and personal development. And you can grow together. And those are not easy to find. In fact, there have been threads made where people ask "where to find conscious partners" and it turns out, only Leo knows the right hunting spots for that, and he's not willing to share.

@StarStruck Hah don't listen to those trolls. Go for what you want. And take responsibility for it. Yeah, worrying about the right age is just going to get in the way: Scenario 1: you have met the right person to start a family with, but you worry that the age isn't "right" and so you fuck it up Scenario 2: you are not with the right person, but you think you are at the right age, so you do it anyway and have a problematic marriage and pass those problems on to your kids