flowboy

@Rishabh R Why don't you try it? Yes it's a good book, I can recommend it

That is true and fine, but it is unrelated to masculine/feminine energy. It is indeed a trap to turn it into a strive to be some way. That's a mistake. It doesn't mean that masculine and feminine energies are not real. They are very real and every person has both. And everyone can embody one or the other in any given moment, but they are distinct: when in your masculine, you will be atttacted to femininity, when in your feminine, you will be attracted to masculinity. I bet you haven't experienced yourself switching polarities consciously before. Once you experience that, it is a realisation that is undoubted, you can not unsee it, and actually being aware of your feminine and masculine energies, and learning to let go and embodying them fully, creates the freedom to be whichever way you want to be, in any moment. Paradoxically, it frees you of the restrictions from your ego saying: "but you have a penis, you should behave masculine right now" Hope that helps?

@KGrimes I agree it's paradoxical. However, depriving your ego of what it wants is not a moral or spiritual good in itself. It is not "more spiritual" than having everything you want. It is only one spiritual practice that can be used to deconstruct your ego, watch it squirm under the discomfort, so you can examine it and let go of unhealthy attachments that you discover. It is only one technique, and you don't have to use it. There's a million ways to spiritually progress. You can get enlightened without self-deprivation. And even if you choose to use it, its function is temporary. And when you are done using it, you are done with renunciation: after enlightenment, you can do whatever you want again. Because why not? You think Eckhart Tolle abstains from sex? Why would he? Why would God abstain from being God? After a prolonged ego death last night, I realised: after realising you are everything and nothing, you still have to entertain yourself as God. That's why God created you. To entertain and explore itself through characters. So it wants you to experience! After enlightenment, you still have to eat soup. And chop wood. And you might as well love and enjoy people around you with all your senses, because that's what You created them for! Hope that makes sense?

Not do both: because mental energy is a scarce resource, and also if you believe in your own success, there's no need to invest in someone else's company. That would basically be a hedge against your own success, which makes no sense. Also an investor is going to ask why you are not all in on your own idea. They probably would refuse you, because it's not about the idea but about the person. And if the person doesn't even believe that he is his own best investment, why should someone else.

@KGrimes Cool, so now you know! Making a move isn't a must. Only when you feel like it

Dude that's awesome. If you make it into this big and meaningful quest like this, and make projects that can help other people, you are doing true Alchemy: turning your suffering into gold. I have no doubt that you'll fix this. Maybe a few years still. I also have no doubt that you can do it. Who knows how many people you will have reached before then? And after? Have you thought about making a youtube channel? Seems like a good specific niche to provide help for. Keep doing what you do, it's awesome. Yes I get that it sucks and I can't comprehend how much - the only thing I can compare it to is a bad MDMA hangover, I don't know if that's similar, but those only last a day. Give the shrooms time - they do have some hardcore brain healing capabilities. Also other mushrooms, like lion's mane. Paul Stamets has a good microdosing regimen that he recommends. He's a good resource. Also I was reminded of this: It's about adderall damage, not SSRI, but still contains some good info

@Podie45 I'm sorry that you are going through this. I'm sure it can be solved. There's so many things to try! And when you find it, now you can help others. Out of curiosity: what happens when you work out really hard for an hour, and completely exhaust yourself? Don't you feel a little good after? What happens when you take a lot of psilocybin?

So... why didn't you kiss her or have sex with her on one of those nights? What did you expect would happen if you don't make a move? They lose interest, of course. Not making a move after being given a couple of opportunities, causes women to lose interest. Especially when the opportunities are as obvious as her showing up to your house. If you can't take the hint even when she shows up at your house, then there's nothing more she can do, is there?

@fridjonk I couldn't agree more. I just was under the impression that it was more enjoyable for others than it was for me. Thanks for clearing that up I still much prefer cold showers

@fridjonk Then I can do it but I don't understand what you love about it

I like working out. I like following along with yoga poses in a video. I don't like stretching my hamstrings. It just hurts. When you start working out, it just hurts, but then it starts to feel good too. Leg related stretches just keep hurting even if I do them very often for years. I stretch my hamstrings after running. I hate it every time. Any enjoyment I get from it is purely masochistic. Any tips?

Also, mattresses are kind of a marketing scam, because people who try sleeping on the floor, generally accustom to it in 2 weeks, and then sleep better than before and find it's better for their back.

The rationale sounds solid. The people who do it seem to be happy and healthy. I looked up the part about stem cells in urine, there's scientific evidence it seems. I have enough new health habits on my plate right now, and also it's too weird for me now. But maybe I'll give it a try in a couple years. I just wonder: why is there no natural urge for it? Most things that are healthy to do are associated with natural urges for it (like eat nutricious food, walk barefoot, go into water to clean yourself, have sex, hug people, et cetera) Also, other primates don't do it as far as I know, and function fine without it. Monkeys don't use cups, and have not been documented peeing in each other's mouth. I'd be interested to see evidence to the contrary, though. So, because pee is not naturally appealing, and also you need human tools for it to consume it (cups), how natural can it really be?

It's not a contradiction but it definitely seems like one. It depends what stage you are at. The typical guy that needs pickup advice badly, has problems acting in alignment with what he authentically wants (i.e. take action and lead / kiss the girl et cetera). But you can't tell him to "be himself", because he has a false belief that he is someone who doesn't take that kind of action. Such guys first need to unwire the identification with being non-assertive. The way you unwire someone's identification with a behavior, is by making them do the behavior that contradicts that belief. (i.e. pickup tips) Then something opens up, and they have to expand their idea of self, being someone who is able to take action, or not to. This creates space for them to move and actually be their authentic self. Take action when they want, don't take action when they don't want. Example: I tell myself every day in my mind: "I'm just not a person who would approach a girl like that." You or Leo tells me to approach a girl like that The identification is broken, because now I can't tell myself that anymore. I now have to tell myself a new story: "Sometimes I approach girls like that, sometimes I don't" Now my authentic desires have a way of expressing themselves through me.

Exactly. It's neurotic and pointless.

So, since you like things concrete and actionable: Start with what you want most now. If it's money, great, go chase that. If it's sex, great, go chase that. If you are already in stage Green and just want to be an activist for a great cause, start doing that. Keep doing personal development. Be aware that after you've had some money and had some sex, and did personal development work, you will evolve and need to strive for fancier things in order to be happy (you can keep the money and the sex though). So expect that, and when that moment comes, do something like the life purpose course, or figure out in some other way (like cultivating intuition) what you need to strive for next. Very often, people find it serendipitously. Don't get stuck chasing the same thing that gave you happiness in earlier phases of your life, but not anymore. That is the trap of unhappy successful people.

I should be more specific than "striving is what makes you happy". The further you develop yourself, the higher your standards will be for the thing you want to strive for. When you're just trying to make some money and you are in Spiral Dynamics stage red or orange, then that strive is perfect for you, and you will feel happiness from chasing money. But when you get to the higher stages, striving for money is just not good enough anymore. Your consciousness is at a new level, and now you need to strive for something that is personally meaningful to you. Striving for just more money will actually bring unhappiness now. When people reach stage green, they need different kinds of success to strive for, like striving for social justice and striving to save the whales. When they reach stage yellow, they again need more fancier goals to be happy, like helping the world evolve in some specific way that they are passionate about. Make sense?

Yes I've seen that one. He doesn't say "don't strive for success", though. It's more nuanced than that. Also, obviously some successful people are happy, and some are not. So the title is a bit clickbaity, and I interpret it as: "being successful doesn't mean you are happy". So don't expect the happiness to come with the end result. The people who are successful and unhappy, are stuck in the illusion that more success will finally bring lasting happiness. And it never does. The people who are successful AND happy, are striving for something that is meaningful to them, so they are already happy before they achieved the result that they aim for. Make sense?

Where? I did a quick search and found 6 videos by him around how to be successful. See my earlier point. A certain level of success is necessary. (Because if you are in need of money, you can't do much in terms of life purpose and helping the world in whatever way your life purpose says, which will bring fulfillment, because you're busy trying to survive.) That does mean you should strive for it. It does not mean that you should expect the success to fulfill you or make you happy.

Also look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It's not a perfect model, but you do need to have the basics of one level covered, before you can start worrying about the next. Example: if you don't have enough money to have a roof over your head (Safety Needs), you're not going to care about life purpose. Belonging needs to be covered too: if you have no one in your life that you are close with, that needs to be fixed before you'll typically care about being fulfilled in your life purpose.

I don't believe Leo has a teaching that you shouldn't chase success. His life purpose course is all about that. Like you said, the process is what generates happiness, so we can cross that variable off. Here's what remains of your question: "What life areas should we focus on for fulfillment?" And the answer to that, I believe, is life purpose. Although, for some, family and relationships are the areas that bring most fulfillment. If you are most comfortable in your masculine energy, it's probably life purpose. If you have a lot of feminine energy, it's probably relationships. All areas are important, I'm just giving you ideas on what to expect the most fulfillment from.

When people say "I chased success and now I have it and it didn't fulfill me", they don't mean 'don't chase this'. They mean: "the chase is what made me most happy. now that I have it, I need a new chase to be happy again." Humans derive happiness from striving for things. The striving creates an illusion that the end result will make one happy, while in fact, you are most happy while in the midst of your striving. The illusion of eternal happiness after you get the result, is just a carrot held in front of you, which serves to keep you motivated and keep you striving. Hope that helps.

Some of my friends are getting millions of investment for their startup, some are making 20-30K a month. Meanwhile, here I am, making 10 times less that, experiencing a lot of limitations in what I want to do versus what I am able to afford. So I can relate. Sometimes I feel down about it and feel like I am not caught up with my more successful friends. But mostly I'm fine with it. I asked myself why. It's because I am very sure of what I am working towards, where I am going, and that is worthwhile to me, and I also enjoy the process. In short: valuing myself based on where I'm going instead of where I am. Is a baby inferior because it can't walk yet? No, it will. Am I inferior because my frontal lobe developed late and I didn't have the discipline and planning skills necessary to be successful until I was 27? No. I will. If trying to be happy with what you have doesn't work, then stop trying. Apparently this 100k/year job is not what you want. And that's 100% completely okay. It may be what you think you want. Or what you think you should want. Or what you used to want. Or what other people wanted for you. Are you working towards what you really want?

It seems like you are repressing and judging those thoughts, and that is what keeps them firmly fixed. If you want them to go away, stop judging them. Have compassion and understanding for them. Feel where they are coming from. What does your inner child want? Al those "dead" emotions DO have use to you... they are meaning to teach you something. Repressing that, is just not working. Listening and understanding without judgment is what will work. If you take your time to meditate on it and feel into it. First your ego will shout the loudest, telling you what everything is and that it knows everything already. Wait until that quiets down. Wait until the softer voice can be heard. Wait until you feel something. ?

@Hen Zuhe I'm asking you. There's no examples on the website. Also, the text of this topic is just copied-and-pasted from your site. To promote your site in a shameless plug topic post is one thing, but at least try to provide value and be helpful. I gave you a chance to turn this into a helpful post, by asking for an example how someone would use it. I gave you a chance to explain your "compass" and you didn't even do that, but referred me to your website, which also doesn't explain your compass. I checked the blog posts too. It does contain a lot of blatant lies though. Fake awards: you claim to be voted "Best Relationship Blog" by some low-quality site, which actually has an award page like that, but it doesn't mention your site anywhere. Another award picture doesn't even say what award it is, and the link points back to your own site. So you gave yourself the award. Fake scientific research references: basically, you just mention the word "scientific studies" and then don't cite any. Instead, you just name the book that you got most of your ideas from, which is written by a PhD. Taking ideas from a book written by a PhD is not the same as having your own concept backed up by science. That's just misleading name dropping. To be exact, science has confirmed, it's less than .4% of the world's population. Would love to check out that study. Do you have a link? Also, all the words on your compass are just directly taken from the Maps of Consciousness table published by David R. Hawkins. Seems like all you did was arrange them on a compass drawing, in a way that doesn't make a whole lot of sense tbh. I appreciate the effort to create something to help people. But I'm not sure whether you are trying to be helpful, or just to self-promote, because I asked you to be helpful just now and you refused. Also you use lies to promote your site. Here's a video by David R. Hawkins that you may have missed - it's about keeping your integrity in business and sales. You might find it helpful NAMASTE