flowboy

@Parththakkar12 This topic is personal to begin with. There is no separating people's view on things from who they are, it's all connected. Arguing content is not going to help anyone, it's just a game egos like to play as a pastime. No argument causes one party to be more open to the other's viewpoint, instead, the opposite happens: the biased view of each becomes more firmly cemented. See also Leo's blog video on why debates don't work. When people post a topic like this, seemingly advising everyone to adopt their viewpoint, it is because on some level they want to evolve out of their limited viewpoint. But they don't consciously know that. My perception is that OP has a very cold view on relationships and sexuality, and it's only possible to arrive at such a cold view if the warmth in your life has been taken away at some point. This could have one of the causes I listed, or something else that I didn't think of. In any case, the OP has an extreme stance on relationships and has a Love & Relationships shadow - which means he is fractioned. To progress in personal development, he needs to integrate his shadow and explore love & relationships, and become whole again in that dimension. Any extreme stance on anything is a sign that there is integration work to be done. I'm a huge fan of going back to the root of where this denial began, and emotionally processing what happened, and then forgiving people who hurt you. But there are other ways too. You can do shadow work using different methods, like Ken Wilber's 3-2-1 method, or Teal Swan's method. Hope that helps

But what is the point of woman skills? Are they the end-all-be-all? Or are they the way to get into a relationship? Which you could be in right now? I'm not pushing you either way, but you need to step up as a man and make a decision on what you want, and stand by it. Letting her, or the situation, decide for you is weakness and won't serve you long term.

Who hurt you? This is messed up. I get why people give you the feedback that it seems like there is something wrong with you. They totally have a point. I bet you don't have a warm, loving relationship with your mother. Someone important hurt you and refused to love you, and I don't know if it was one or both of your parents during childhood, or girls or friends during adolescence, or some other combination... but you would do best to take a good look at your past and process some of it. Preferably with the help of a good therapist. Try to suppress the impulse to take this as an insult and assume that I say this with love, really giving you my assessment of what would be most helpful for you to do.

@Valach What do you think would be best for her? Is it in her best interest to be with a guy who can't commit to her, is one foot in, one foot out, never sure about her, and wants to do pickup instead of seeing her?

Just keep going. Eventually you will get girls who are into you and tell you that you are handsome. If that happens enough, you'll believe it. You'll find out that there is no objective pretty/ugly for guys, and how much she likes your personality mostly determines how physically attractive she perceives you as. Also, do strength training, get a girl to take you shopping and teach you to dress well, shave or neatly trim your beard and hair, smell good and then just don't worry about it.

@StarStruck They are attracted to how you feel inside. To whether you are emotionally healthy, and able to self-generate and sustain positive emotions in the face of challenge. That's why they test you by insulting you. If they say that you are fat or too short, and you are clearly not hurt at all (this must be genuine, third eye again), and respond with a joke, fun and lightheartedness, then to them that is a successful experiment they did on you, where you proved that you can handle the obstacles and challenges that life tends to throw at you, and keep your spirits up and keep going, without ending up stuck in some emotional ditch. That means that if she were to attach herself to you, and let you lead her through life, she would be safe and survive and thrive with you. It all makes sense. Being a good conversationalist, funny, and listening, are all symptoms of the underlying emotional health and resilience that they are looking for. That's also why outer game works at first, but then inner game shines through and determines whether she considers you a good choice long term. Don't worry, you'll get laid without having great inner game. And that in itself (you reaching a goal you chose for yourself) can also contribute to you feeling better about yourself, believing in your abilities, and developing that emotional health and resilience that makes you genuinely attractive.

@StarStruck No actually you don't like your appearance, and they sense that and just aren't going to indulge that lack of self-acceptance. Don't worry, all in due time

@StarStruck Great action taking! Congratulations! Progress that deserves to be celebrated. Don't worry.

If you don't feel like spending much of your life energy educating ignorant people, move. I would move. It's going to cause too much friction and waste your life juice which would otherwise be spent towards your life purpose. Why are you living there in the first place? What's keeping you? It sounds terrible.

Someone who has what you want, and actually seems decent...surprise surprise. Could it be... That you actually need good character traits to succeed? That the people who are demonizing "billionaires", are actually the ones more selfish and greedy, and that's why they are unsuccessful? No...that's TOO radical.. isn't it? Let's keep hating on who we secretly want to be like, that will bring us closer!

You just don't care about it enough?

I wouldn't date anyone so secretive who refused to tell me why. You fucked yourself over by not having standards for openness and honesty, and accepting this nonsense. Result: a relationship that she doesn't take seriously. I doubt you'll change that now.

Cool, so why do you need many people to like it then?

Isn't this what the LP course is for?

You're way overthinking it. You like him. Ask him out or laugh at his jokes and drop hints so that he'll ask you out.

If you don't let him take initiative at least sometimes, you're taking away a chance to feel manly. Why are you wondering whether you can stop pursuing? Doesn't that mean you're already doing it out of fear? If you feel like pursuing, I'd do it in a womanly fashion, dropping hints of what you'd like to do together but still letting him take the actual initiative. E.g. "I've never seen X movie before." "Would be totally awesome to Y." "You could totally get me to Z;)" so that his dumb man-brain can still go: "Let's do X/Y/Z tomorrow" and feel like he asked you out. If all else fails and he just doesn't take initiative, there's two possibilities: 1. He's just not that into you. 2. He hasn't integrated some parts of manhood and is in some ways still a boy. And that's okay, if you're cool with that, but the healthy way to deal with that is not to fall into the masculine role and do the work for him, because it will harm the sexual dynamic, but to inspire him to grow into the man role more, within your interaction. If you don't hear anything in two weeks, you might tell him straight up that you are still waiting for him to ask you out.

I have a great relationship with my mom and she checks in on my only every 2-3 weeks or so. But yeah... that's moms... How capable of change is she? How young is her brain would you say? Reason I ask is because some people are so stuck in their ways, they'll never adapt in your lifetime. And others are pretty fluid still. Emotional intelligence is also a factor

@28 cm unbuffed Primal therapy is a large field, and during the retreat I did, we did a lot of different exercises, it's a carefully crafted journey... But this (catharsis) is one of them, and it's a good one to do. I can also provide you with some Spotify playlists that help with that in PM if you're interested

@28 cm unbuffed Until you tried primal therapy, you haven't scratched the surface

Don't need a job to practice entrepreneurship. And talking to potential customers (on facebook for example), will enable you to practice your listening skills. Become aware of the balance of consumption vs production. How much time in the day are you consuming content, and how much time are you producing? (meaning, being creative) Where do you want this balance to be? Too much consumption is going to give you an overstimulated brain and sleeping problems. Your brain needs moments of no input, like a walk, to put the subconscious to work, process what you have learnt, and generate ideas for your creative work later. I have ADD and had to learn this too. It's important to keep some hours of silence. In the long-term, you basically only retain knowledge that you use actively at the same time that you learn it, so reading tons of books on some skill or field while not working in it or combining it with practice, is almost pointless.

@28 cm unbuffed It's not about the relationship with your physical mother of today. It's the relationship with the copy of the parent that we keep in our head, a result of imprinting, that still runs our lives. That is what needs to be transformed. After I did Primal Therapy, I felt like I was truly separated from my parents, none of their emotional baggage was mine anymore, and I was a grown-up like I never thought possible. The relationship with my live parents is better than ever. My shadow parents in my head are dead. My self esteem is fixed. My confidence is transformed. I attract amazing people like never before. Puja Lepp is the one who helped me. I can't recommend her enough. She has a website. But there are other good primal therapists.

@Rishabh R Awesome! Yes, research, practice, and belief busting techniques like the sedona method and byron katie's the work, or just general contemplation, it's a path that has to be unique to you. I confess I actually meant no more mister nice guy, that one I've read and is good too. Also the way of the superior man by deida is a must read, I think

Mescaline. I just came out of an huachuma ceremony... and mescaline is SO MUCH about awakening the divine masculine...it feels like a coming of age ritual, where your ancestral grandfathers are taking you by the hand and carrying you from boyhood into manhood. You'll feel like a man after that. Whew. Also it releases blockages. My nose and third eye are unblocked now. Sounds weird I know. Apart from that: tantra. (I can recommend a workshop) That's where I got the most growth and insights regarding masculinity. Because you are interacting with conscious women who want to bring it out in you, and bonding with conscious men where the sense of brotherhood will awaken your masculine. And remember: it's already inside you. You just need to remove what is in the way. @gar-4-field hope that helps?

Fuck yeah. This is so healthy. I applaud you. Maybe you'll be vibing so well, you'll meet someone there!

Why not suffer? Suffering leads to enlightenment. Not suffering keeps you stuck.