flowboy

Spreadin' the word Happy for you man!

Umm, yes that sounds alright. However: I recommend to forget about your "having sex with her at a specific day" plan - people can feel when the other person has an agenda that they're not open about, and it feels kinda creepy. Rather than planning when to specifically do it, just switch your goal to getting to know her, having some fun hanging out, incorporate some physical touch, and just make sure to pay attention for that moment that it's clear that she's ready for more. Cause that could come sooner or later than you planned it. If you've been casually physical with her up to that point, it should be pretty obvious when it is.

Just don't be showing or telling her that you want a relationship with her. Don't proclaim your fake love for her and you'll be fine. Only when she asks explicitly, should you tell her that in words. Let her know that you're potentially sexually interested in her by casually touching her in non-creepy places while you talk to her, like hands, forearms, maybe thighs when sitting down. Holding her waist when standing nose to nose and talking with her is good. Lead her around by her hand. Arms around her, hugs, stuff like that. Do it casually while you talk to her. Don't draw attention to your physical moves, that will be awkward And take a step back when she seems uncomfortable with it. I would focus on hanging out, getting to know each other a bit, and when there seems to be rapport and both of you feel relaxed, then you further escalate physically, constantly guageing her comfort level and taking a step back when she seems tense or uncomfortable with it. When she seems tense, you should relax more. If you relax enough, you can read physical cues and feel into what she wants pretty accurately, so that she doesn't have to resort to saying "I'm not ready for that" with words. Cause that's always awkward. But doesn't have to kill the mood for the whole evening unless you let it. TL;DR: say it physically, not with words. Just be relaxed and kick it with her. It should kinda happen naturally by itself, provided you are willing to take the initiative.

Definition from Wikipedia is surprisingly well formulated:

@Vynce It's something that developed slowly. First, it started happening when I was having sex with my partner without ejaculating. At first, it didn't feel quite like an orgasm. And now after the longest time, it happened while just masturbating. Being extremely relaxed and loose in the spine, I could let the energy flow up the spine in a pleasurable wave that feels satisfying, and "resets" my built-up sensitivity so that I can go longer again. There are some tantric practices that have definitely helped.

Thank you for posting this. It's an important message. Obsessing over the "streak" and being on NoFap forums is definitely a trap, and a sure way to continue the endless cycle of failure, judgment and self-flagellation, that these "nofap" people enjoy so much. (Oh yes, they enjoy this game a lot! Although they aren't conscious of it) Finding meaningful activities to channel the newfound energy into, which would otherwise spill into a tissue paper, is essential indeed. I'd like to add that aiming to completely cut out masturbation, is setting yourself up to fail. (especially if you don't have a regular sex life with a partner) Rather, I'm a proponent of something called "tantric masturbation", where you are giving your sexual side its due attention, enjoy the sensations, give yourself pleasure, but steer clear of ejaculating. Easier to do without porn. In practice I recommend to steer clear of all masturbation and porn for 3 weeks to break the addiction. Then carefully introduce some tantric masturbation, where the goal is not to cum, but to enjoy until satisfied, whilst keeping your semen. It's very doable. Once a week can be enough, since it shouldn't be a coping mechanism to deal with uncomfortable feelings anymore, but just a healthy self-care practice. Never allowing yourself to masturbate, is asking for an ego backlash. It means to never allow yourself to decouple sexuality from ejaculation. Which is ultimately key. Because sexuality won't let itself be repressed indefinitely, no sir. I've recently been able to even "come" without ejaculating, just letting the energy flow back up the spine. It's definitely not a beginner thing, I've been doing semen retention on and off for years. But it is possible, and knowing that is important, so you really aren't missing anything, giving up ejaculation. There is no satisfaction that you're missing out on, that can't be had another way. With some practice.

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If you don't have fears and doubts, you're either stupid, or doing nothing with your life. - Sam Ovens If you're doing it because it feels right and it excites you, then that's all that matters. Not what others think. What an interesting way to set a trap for yourself to shield yourself from your innate confidence (Suppose you did need a specific personality, and you didn't have it! Oh no, what then? It's a nice game ) You must not be very comfortable (yet) with being confident in yourself "just because". Standing in your greatness can be terrifying. And that's okay. You can use this energy and transform it into motivation to get better at your new calling. The more shadow work you do, the more clearly you can see. And the more unbiased and effective a therapist you can be.

The only one stopping you from having all the money that you need/want, is you. And the beliefs and judgments that you hold, is how you stop yourself. So you need to deconstruct them. The audiobook of "The science of getting rich" by wallace D. Wattles helped me get some breakthroughs there. A couple of targeted affirmations about abundance and wealth, that you are getting it and you are deserving of it. That will help a lot. But also just thinking about it more deeply. (1) (2) Look at how these things collide. If you are truly going to make meaningful contribution, then how is it not in the world's best interest that you have all the money that you need to be healthy and happy? Will your contributions be better or worse, if you are suffering from insanity due to noise from roommates? Will your contributions be better or worse, if you are taking care of your physical health?

@ivankiss Yours is an important viewpoint regarding the topic. Indeed it doesn't tell a story about bad/good. Some things are more or less helpful to different people. Having a crazy experience that one takes no insight away from, might still help them in some other unforeseeable way. A little LSD or mushrooms can send me straight to the whole "you are everything/ everything is an expression of infinite love" rooftop party sometimes. At this point I usually find that if there are others tripping with me, they can't relate to what I'm saying, and it seems wrong even to tell them, because it's obvious that they want to keep existing and not be woken up. Nice for you that you have such a good relationship with weed, man. It makes me feel fucking insane unless I combine it with yoga.

Stick to the super-healthy ones like those 3 I named, and then you won't have to worry about the amounts! Just go by how you feel. If your problem of feeling hungry and malnourished is solved, then that is enough. Fat helps burn fat, so it's good for staying lean too. Don't misconstrue this as advice to cut out all carbs! Extremes usually end in tears.

You seem to care about doing things "right", so you need to determine what your values are. Values are what you live by, whether it will hurt or not. Living by your own values will put you above 90% of people who are morally broke, and just trying to manipulate every situation to get short-term pleasure or avoid short-term pain. It will earn you a lot of natural respect, too. Not easy. I'm not saying I do this perfectly, far from it. But good to get started with early. And you find them by life experience. So for example, you tried faking your feelings and didn't like the result. Maybe now you can decide to value honesty, or authenticity, or whatever value you think is most fitting (you can find lists of examples). That's why it's good to get experiences.

Be more subtle about it. If you tell her that you just want to have sex, you might make her feel bad for it and cause her to say no (internalized slut shame), even though she might want the same thing. Just don't fake anything. That is enough. Don't fake having feelings for her that you don't actually have. And when she asks you something about that, don't lie. No need to be jarring and in-your-face about it like that. Have to disagree with Preety here.

I want to allow myself to value my sleep so so highly, that I don't even consider taking a meeting in the middle of the night, or extending a phone call past 22:30. I want to allow myself to have a productive start of the day, that I feel great about, and feel like I've already done enough by 14:00pm, by sticking to my morning routine. And starting it on time, so that I feel relaxed and early/on time. I want to remember that psilocybin microdosing should not be overdone on days of cognitive demand

@Jon_Bundesen Since you're a virgin, the answer is: just do it. As long as you're not lying about your intentions, there is no clear right and wrong. It depends on what phase of life you are in, and what your goals are. It's a deeply personal question that every person has to find their own answer to. And getting some experience really helps to find that out for yourself.

That's so cool... I had this insight on LSD... still remember what it looked like.

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It does actually work. Except when you tell yourself that it doesn't. Then you prevent it from working.

So because of the placebo effect, it's never not working at all. Because if you believe that something works, the power of the mind will shift things around to make it happen. If it feels like nonsense to you, you will feel little benefit. I don't think I would either. But if there was something that I did believe could change my state when I carry it around, then it would definitely work for me. Whether it's about the specific object, or not.

See if this rings true: Maybe when other people stand out, you feel envious/jealous/bad because of it Maybe when other people stand out, you make fun of them (maybe in your head only) Point being: the judgment you fear, is the judgment you pass. If that rings true, then the solution is simple: find that particular judgment of others in yourself, dig deep into its fundamentals until it gets resolved and you no longer have the judgment. The fear of being judged yourself will disappear with it.

How about snorting a little bit? Some people apparently have unpredictable effects from plugging. Or you could try a bit more. Disclaimer: I've never done this.

Yay!

Pain is the body saying "don't do that (so hard), you'll cause damage" Not sure why you insist on complicating it

@7thLetter Do we at least get to know what happened?

@Preety_India Yes you will attract men like you. You already are. It's effortless. If the kind of men you attract is not to your liking, then you simply are not vibing at the frequency that you want. So you can change it by upgrading your own frequency. You can start by not giving attention to what you don't want. Often, guys are manipulative to you, and you get upset about it and make threads about it. That's fine, but you give it a huge amount of attention that way. Positive or negative, doesn't matter, you still attract more of it. I apologize if that feedback was more direct than you wanted. I'm only one point of view. Attracting a man who mirrors you does not mean he will be the same as you. If you are very emotional, and you want to be that way, great, but I'd say the man who fits with that would be more like a calm, solid guy who is empathetic and has a high emotional intelligence, but not easily shaken. Your rock.