flowboy

Well, I agree with you but again, how many gay people are actually like that? Are we projecting some imaginary mindset here, or is this based on real life experience with gay people? Maybe it is, I don't know. My experience is different. I had a threesome with a gay man once and we talked about it. He watches straight porn as well and can get off to it. He appreciates women. He can enjoy physical contact with them. It just doesn't make him that hard, it's not what triggers the raw desire. So he can be with women, but to be any sort of aroused, there needs to be a man present. Similarly, I can enjoy physical contact with men, but it doesn't make me hard. And there is something wired differently in how they respond to scent: I don't really like how men smell, I don't like the hairiness and how their sweat smells. I prefer the scent and softness of a woman, that gets me hard somehow. And for the gay man that is opposite. It was a good learning experience to spend time with an open-minded gay man, I guess they're not all like that.

@mr_engineer Wow you really misinterpret his teachings. Maybe not focus on that then. It's not for you at this stage. Why are you wasting energy getting upset and waging this imaginary war against teachings you don't understand? Just be at peace that there's some teachings you don't resonate with, and live your life dude.

Meaningless joke, but in bad taste if it wasn't based on an inside joke between you. A quip at your expense to get likes on social media? Such low maturity. I'd take it as a sign that this person is a waste of time and I shouldn't be spending any time with them.

@mr_engineer You're not listening. None of the ideas you're projecting onto me and others here, are what we actually think. You're in a loop of getting upset online over some content you shouldn't be watching, and then processing your feelings by projecting it on people here and having a fight with them, making them the stand-ins for some imaginary enemy you've invented. See through the illusion ?

One-itis is a childhood trauma symptom. Subconsciously, something that you lacked in childhood, you think you're going to get from this girl accepting you. For some, it was peer acceptance (the outsiders who got bullied). That's what it was for me. For others, it's mommy's love. To fix it, do the work to find out what it is for you, so you can stop projecting. You actually have to go through an emotional release to break the spell, figuring it out mentally will do nothing.

That's not the underlying assumption at all. It's just your pain-body misinterpreting it. And you're feeding your pain body by listening to all this toxic shit on the internet. I'm not going to bother looking at that, I already know you're poisoning your mind with drivel that upsets you. Actually listen to David Deida talks and have a real relationship with a real life woman and you have a chance of understanding this concept.

@sda No one can answer this for you unless you share your ultimate goal. Is it to prove to yourself and others that you can study in China on your own, and get the life experience and maturity that comes with such an adventure? Great, keep doing it. Do you want to have the best career prospects because you want to get hired as a doctor in Canada? Maybe this is not the most direct path (but you could still make it work with some extra schooling or whatever) In general I’m sensing that you struggle with the responsibility of life: parents can’t tell you what’s best for you because no one can, not even you. You’re responsible for making the decisions and for the outcomes , even though you can’t know those outcomes beforehand. You’re the captain of your own ship, alone in the stormy ocean, and listening to advice from others and blindly following it will lead to resentment and regret. I wish you favourable winds!

That’s entirely up to you, but I suggest you learn to motivate yourself. you have Leo’s book list, but you haven’t used it. You have a very affordable Life Purpose Course which you haven’t bought. And you have a place to live and food to eat without having to do anything for it, so you realise what a good position you’re in? If moving back in with my parents was a reasonable option for me, I would do it so I could build my business 10 times faster. You can do anything you want with your life. But it’s going to be all over pretty soon (a human life is not that long) and I’m a few short decades you’re going to be too old to do the things you dreamed of now. Listen to some motivational speeches on YouTube and get moving for God’s sake.

Yeah that part is nonsense… such a deadline is unrealistic in the entertainment business. It can take comedians and musicians 5-10 years to make a good living.

You got to the TRUTH! Behind all anxiety, obsessiveness, addictions, and other neuroticisms. They're side effects of defending against PAIN rising up. Be willing to feel the pain... you win. You become authentic. Indeed you become more attractive, your voice could change, heck I've even read of people's hands and feet and tits (women) growing who have done deep feeling therapy for years. Holding back trauma had halted their puberty. Be willing to feel, and you become who you were always supposed to be. Much luck on this path. Well done.

This.

@Miguel1 This. Sales is one of the paths where you can make a lot of money without education, and people will happily keep hiring you if you do it well, no matter your background. But you have to educate yourself on it, read books on it and practice. Get a gig where you earn a high bonus on a big ticket item, not some stupid street sales/fundraiser gig. Although those would even be better than driving around for Amazon, probably.

@Samsonov A purpose is not a purpose unless you align yourself to it like a North Star. So without looking at your purpose, how can one say whether you should travel or study? Which is best for it? I also had a dream of living in a van for a bit, but I didn't do it, and now I'm 30 and too far into my LP journey for it to make sense. I feel sad thinking about it, but life is making painful choices and sacrificing things to actualize other things. The next moment that it would make sense for me to travel in a van like that, would be after achieving full financial independence. Could be 2 years ahead, could be 10. Who knows if I'll even still want to? Or practically be able to? It doesn't matter. Focus on doing what you can, with what you have, where you are. Focus on what is here right now, what you feel in your heart is important.

@Sabth of course you should go. You should go to take every opportunity to get work until you get work. Do you know what grit means? You need more of it

Your dating coach is right. You're already procrastinating by telling yourself you need to heal all your trauma first, before you can focus fully on music. It's BS. I'm a trauma healing coach, and I'm telling you, you're using trauma healing as procrastinating on your purpose. Taking 6 months off work to do it full time will be a good test for you. Do you really want it? Why am I saying this? Because I know how hard it is to get anything off the ground and making money, next to a 9 to 5. You need ALL the free time you can reasonably invest, and more. Doing other stuff as well in your free time, is completely insane. If you are actually going for music while doing a 9 to 5, you are: Thinking about music all the time Playing riffs in your head on the job Not hanging out and drinking with friends, unless it is in a band practice context Not spending time dating, except for letting girls watch you perform Not going out and socializing, unless in the context of gigs Not doing any other hobbies, not even sports above the necessary 4-6 hours a week But instead you are on this healing journey which seems to be more supportive of your pickup journey than anything else. You don't need to be untraumatized to play good music, you can be completely fucked up, as the great musicians of our history attest. Connection through music bypasses all layers of trauma and conditioning. That's why everyone loves music. Because it allows you to feel connection without being a healed and open-hearted person in general. So stop telling yourself this is a prerequisite for your music career. I'm not critical of doing trauma healing, I am of course a proponent of it and support people doing it every week in group calls and forums etc. Trauma healing is my life purpose. I'm accusing you of putting "getting laid" above your life purpose. That is an offense that will cost you exponentially. Maybe because of that, your music/entertainment career won't take off at all. Because you don't have your priorities straight in your twenties. And it's sad, because if you achieve any degree of success in music or comedy, you wouldn't have to do pickup anymore. Women will just come to you once you are successful and standing on a stage. Just go for it man!

My guess is you were always the odd one out at primary school or high school, or you didn't fit in with the popular kids at least. Perhaps the "main crowd" treated you poorly, ridiculed you, didn't accept you. That's how it worked for me. After that, I didn't want to fit in anywhere. I studied 3 different things because I had the passion and talent, and quit very soon because I saw that it was leading somewhere I didn't want to be. But the underlying reason was that it would mean I was "fitting in" somewhere (in this case, a scientist), and my subconscious just freaks out at the idea of being "one of them". I'm supposed to be weird, the odd one out, too cool to do anything that a group of others are already doing!

My best acid trips were on festivals with 30k people. Set 1: just went through a rough breakup and my ex is camping a few tents away from me. Set 2: weird vibe between girlfriend and me, she wants to trip alone, I lose track of all friends and get lost in a crowd of people who are also on acid. Most amazing trip.

Solid advice. Yes. Although that doesn't usually happen in one go. Putting parts back together is like zipping up a zipper, their division becomes more and more superficial the more you heal. In my experience at least. On mdma, it's quite easy to access answers like where these fears originated. If you set an intention to find out where they came from, I think you'll have a good experience. Some questions that can be helpful during the trip: As I feel this, how old do I feel? When I was that age, what could have happened that made me feel this? @PurpleTree have a good trip brother. Hope you let us know!

Idiotic is just the technical term for what you are being, it’s barely a namecall. I’m also an idiot for giving you attention. ?

Ooh, ouch. Really got me there ? This is just a reflection of your poor mindset. Someone can’t be nice and caring and also want to be paid for professional services. In your twisted mind, they have to be separate. And so I am “two faced” Sure sure.

@Something Funny The conversation you posted just shows me being helpful and sending you things to help you with your struggle at the time I’m really stumped how you got so offended.

Yes, and you know what, I do. I do have real answers. And they are earned through experience and study. That doesn’t mean I’m the wisest, or most experienced, far from it. I’m happy to humble myself to anyone with a modicum of experience and study in my field. I’m happy to step down from my pedestal if you had displayed a tiny bit of sense, of psychological insight. I’d be happy to talk about actual content… but I can’t because clearly you are talking out of your ass. And I pointed this out to you - the fact that you do not have knowledge of that which you speak of - upon which you started attacking me for being a coach and offering you something years ago. That’s really mature of you *ahem* Trying to make me look like shit and dragging me through the mud instead of acknowledging that you haven’t read a single book cover to cover about that which you were so sure “was an asspull” When you are so arrogant that you are willing to defend your wilful ignorance with attacks like these.. You are just, for all intents and purposes, an idiot.

I literally have never done a call like that. You either have me confused with someone else, or your memory is really bad. I always offer tons of personalised attention and give my perspective and advice. For free. And those calls lasted at least 30 minutes each. I make sure that people come away with some value from that call, because I don’t know that I will offer them anything more. I can’t help everyone. You, I clearly should not have offered you anything because your mind is filled with negative assumptions towards coaches in general. One cannot be a caring coach in your mind. My best guess is that you have some sort of issue with coaches in general, or the self help industry, or I don’t know what, but you decided to project them all onto me and throw me under the bus for it. Did you watch the videos I sent? Did you write down the tips I gave you? I bet you didn’t. That would interfere with upholding you story that it was “just a pitch” and I was “just another uncaring coach”. dude, you are so full of shit ?

Alright, if you want to get into it let's get into it. I have experimented in the past with meeting potential coaching clients through messaging on the forum Leo told me not to Upon which I stopped I don't even offer coaching anymore That is for Leo to police, not you. This is not your forum. I don't think it is wrong at all, otherwise I wouldn't have done it of course. Sometimes you see a person you like and can help, it would be a shame not to try. Of course, the guy who owns the platform can tell me what to do or not to do, and I listen. I've always been polite and I actually cared about people when I was doing that. Which is why I take issue with what you accuse me of: Why do you assume I pretended? Where is all that bitterness coming from? I offered a chat. I made time for you. I gave you free tips and insights. And I cared. Where's the pretense? Then I offered to help you even more, for a fee. You've made a weird twist in your mind at that moment, thinking: "Oh, he's got a service he charges for. Everything up to this point must have been fake". Not fake, dude. I offered you a free call and I gave it to you. I wish I could help everyone for free. I do tons of free sessions and spend sometimes 3 hours with someone. When it's a free session, I don't charge. I give you what I promised, and more. Then when I offer more and it is for a fee, they don't get angry and bitter. That's just you. Which is why I'm asking: where is all the bitterness coming from? And by the way, the people who said yes during that time, which is almost 2 years ago now? Still in contact with them every week. They're still glad they said yes. Saying yes that day made a big impact on their life. Meanwhile, here you are trying to cling to the concept of "self-love", which is perhaps the highest teaching in the universe, but it's also a glorified cope when using it for shadow/trauma issues. There, I said it. Self-love as a strategy for solving psychological problems is a cope. There is a reason *actually* mentally healthy people, who aren't run by their repressed pain, don't need to talk about self-love and practice loving themselves everyday. It's because love is abundant, it is baked in, it is your birthright, it is something that you never consciously need to give yourself... there is always enough self-love, so much so that you have no need for the concept. IF you are not blocked by trauma energy. You can't add self-love on top of trauma energy and call it healing. That's a band-aid. Have fun coping, paying for learning more coping, and making ad-hominem attacks at people with real answers.

And yet you still believe that all you need to do is "love yourself". You get what you pay for.