flowboy

Yes, that could very well be. Either that, or there is something you want to get away from: some emotional state, a persistent thought pattern. Something in your own mind that you do not like. How do you feel when you sit and simply do nothing?

Talking subject: time. She sees me check out of spacetime reality, and that's when I start to forget about the time. It makes her feel like I don't want to be here. Don't want to be present. It started with an insight / idea: it's not that I am not capable of thinking about the time when I get into something, it's rather that I get so into it that I really want to finish it, and I know on some level that it's time to stop, but I just want to finish it, that seems more important than keeping up with the schedule. What is it like to come back to spacetime awareness? IT'S LIKE BEING BORN (omg) And that's also what I said in the motherly spaceholding questions exercise. I didn't ask to be born I'm not sure I want to even be here. Want to go back up the womb I think I want to try some breathwork to get into that. She got blankets, made a cosy space. I put on a blindfold. I wanted heartbeat noises, like you would hear inside the womb. The moment we put them on, I knew something was going to happen. I was already being guided to heal something. I start breathing. After a while, it hits. I start breathing faster. "They woke me up!" She says I started breathing faster the same way that a contraction goes. It was difficult for awhile. Then I started crying and screaming like a baby. An overwhelming sadness hit me. I knew whe'd found it. Why now already? Why did I have to come out already? It's not good, I was still working on something, I was still growing, I was still preparing myself for the world. Why couldn't I stay a little longer I was still working on something. I was still growing. I was unprepared for the world. The last piece was still being put together to be fully ready for life. And I did not understand why I could not finish developing and had to come out. It's not good. It's really not good. Why!!! Now we understand why I hate being woken up gently and lovingly. My girlfriend loves being woken up gently. To me it's this harsh and overwhelming experience of not being ready. But I never feel ready. It explains why I have felt like my life is all "for practice". I wrote that in my earlier diaries a lot. Why I couldn't enjoy experiences fully. Could not bring myself to participate fully.. Why people often commented on my lack of enthusiasm. I didn't get why I should feel enthusiastic about things other kids felt enthusiastic about. Overwhelming feeling: I'M NOT READY. She asks me what the tense spot on my right underbelly wants. "It wants me to go back inside and then do life properly" Because what I really want to do, is crawl back inside the womb, and finish my project. Finish my development. Then I can be ready for life. Then I can participate fully, and enjoy fully. It explains why I just did not get along with peers, couldn't read social cues very well, could only think logically but not feel into anything, or naturally be social. Moreso even, it explains why I sat beside the sandbox and watched other kids play. The "I'M NOT READY" permeates everything. Time to go to a party? I’m NOT READY. Friends inviting me to socialize? I’m NOT READY, I have to go home first and finish my 60 todo's. And I'm not ready to do that either, because I have to chill first. This is just the desire to crawl back inside the womb and finish growing. I am extremely detail-oriented. I remember taking the entire time for the exercise, only to write the first letter, in primary school. Ironically, I'm trying to make sure that it's really finished, that it's really done! That extreme detail-orientedness also indirectly causes many projects to be forever unfinished. But I am the real unfinished project. Today, I feel ready to fully participate and enjoy life. The tight spot in my right underbelly hasn't fully gotten the message yet. But it's starting to. We don't have to crawl back up and do everything over again. We're okay now.

Never gonna happen the exact way you envision it, but you can skillfully manipulate the conversation in a way that has the same effect. Instead, ask for the date in a way that the rejection is not awkward. So go more indirect: find something you both like to do, and together as you talk, start painting a picture of this fun day together, but in a joking way. Hypothetical. Create a fantasy. Fantasies are safe because they don't imply doing anything for real. Then if she's enthusiastic, you could say something like: "I'm pretty spontaneous. I've gone on spontaneous adventures with strangers before. It's awesome" This is your indirect close. Shut up after this. (notice how you don't ask the question, so there's nothing to reject directly. Don't even ask her directly how spontaneous she is) If she thinks about it and responds: "Ok!", or starts talking about how spontaneous she is, then you got her. Then play it like she is convincing you, or both of you are being convinced, and this spontaneous idea is falling out of the sky. "Ok... I guess we could really do that!" "I'm free saturday" Act surprised and like she is convincing you. If she waves it off after the indirect close, leave it alone. If she's in any way up for it, this strategy WILL work. You are safe from any awkwardness if you refrain from pushing it any further when she doesn't respond the way you want.

Shifted my mindset by a lot. I could suddenly see the game others were stuck in, and how to not get sucked in. I had to be told that some people read this book and then proceeded to make tens of millions with their successful ventures, before I could take it seriously.

Thank you, I appreciate that!?

@Vivaldo I think the one most effective thing you could do right now, to increase the chances of people connecting with you, is use a real photo of yourself as a profile pic. People love realness. Apart from that: phrasing your messaging not so much on your needs but on what might be interesting to others. Example: your topic name starts with "I need a buddy". That's all about you. Better to appeal to what might interest someone else, example: "Investigating Actualized.org topics together"

What results are you looking for?

By Wallace D. Wattles? Yes, a classic! That one helped me overcome guilt regarding to wanting to be rich.

Nice hat! The journey never ends. Congratulations on how far you've come?

@Tiny Nietzsche I'm prone to the winter blues, so I have quit many things in November over the course of my life. I had to make a pact with myself to not quit anything between September and March. You may not have that, but you are in a state of being affected by a breakup. I can tell you are trying to minimize it, by the way you phrase things, and pretend like you are not affected. But I think you are affected. So that's not a great place to make life decisions from. My advice: stay put, and do whatever it takes to make yourself happy, while not making major life decisions. When you feel good again, optimistic and mentally clear, then look at the dilemma again.

It's called a "shit test". She's trying to see how grounded you are. If she can easily make you let your insecurities get the best of you, then she can not trust you deeply. Why? Because the date is a model for how you approach the world. On the date, you are going for what you want (her). If then she pokes at you, and triggers an insecurity, and you let it derail your pursuit (instead of laughing and being okay with it), then to her, that means that also in your work, purpose and career, you will be easily derailed and let your insecurities get the best of you. And she wants a man who can go for what he wants despite his insecurities. That's a man she can believe in. The answer is to be more present with what you are feeling, and be okay with it no matter what. That way, you never let something derail your flow. Apply copious amounts of self-love and being okay with whatever arises, and also be okay with showing vulnerability. But don't crumble and turn it into an unsollicited therapy session. Move through it in self-acceptance and your date will go smoothly.

@EntheogenTruthSeeker The root of addiction is unprocessed pain from your past. I used to think that quitting smoking made me a non-addict. Then I wised up. Coffee, tobacco, weird supplements, I'd abuse it all in order to feel that nice, focused dopamine rush. When I cut it out, I would still abuse netflix and youtube. What substance you take or not take doesn't have anything to do with whether you are addicted. I healed from my addiction when I did emotional integration work, where I gave appropriate love and understanding to all the unanswered questions my child-me had, when things happened that he could not understand and process. I went through ages 3 to 18. Reprocessed what my inner child went through. Forgave my bullies. Recently, I had an experience where I started to remember things from before I was born. I've had coffee in my cupboard for weeks now, and zero inclination to touch it. That is unheard of for me. I'd always tell people: "there's some things that if I have them, they will be consumed. Coffee and beer and chocolate belong in that category" That is no longer so. Reprocessing old pain is the only thing that works to truly remove that desire to feel differently.

Only you can There is always, always a deeper reason why. When you blush, what do you feel? If you focus on that sensation, what thoughts and memories come up? Inquire and inquire, and the answer will come to you. Could take a couple days. Then you know what needs to be healed. If you feel too disconnected from yourself to get any answer, do shamanic breathing.

@MilenaS See what I did there? How many different "I"s do you have? Your confusion is because of the assumption that you should be one person all the time. Actually, everyone has different subpersonalities that want different things. First step is to become aware of them: how many are there, what are their different needs and wants?

@ImHooper She still exists, your love for her still exists. Your love and memory of her doesn't die when she does. So in that sense, she is still alive by you remembering her. Think of everything she taught you and inspired you with, and be grateful for it. Try to embody and honor what you learned from her. Take it into your own personality. Let her become part of you. That way, you carry part of her with you now. That helped me when my friend killed herself.

this is sold mixed with paracetamol in Europe, so that if you drink enough to get high, you kill your liver. Also, OP talked about ketamine therapy, which involves usually some sober psychotherapy sessions and a controlled guided setting. This therapy setting is important, it sets the frame of what is to be healed. Not the same as getting high on cough syrup by yourself. Please don't do that in an attempt to self-treat depression or OCD.

By making a pact with yourself to not regret anything. I know, sounds stupidly simple, but not easy. It has to be learnt. This future problem of regret will instantly change, if you stop your habit of regret now. Can you see that? If you think of an example of something you would do and regret later, and you ask: what is this bringing me? What do I like about it? How has it provided comfort? You will find an answer. And then you allow yourself that experience. "I did this, I enjoyed it, I am allowed to enjoy and feel comforted" Bask in the pleasure and comfort you get from it. If you love yourself, how can you not allow yourself to have some enjoyment and feel comfort? Thus, you end up not regretting that thing Thus, you break the cycle. I know: the fear is: "but if I don't regret, if I don't feel bad for it, then I will do it more!" I would offer that the opposite is true. Verify for yourself.

For me it just helped to directly realise that the dread comes from not doing it, not from doing it. Doing it, is very smooth. When you think you should be doing it, then the clock starts ticking: every second you think you should, but aren't, you are in conflict, fighting yourself, and rapidly draining your energy. The dread builds from every second of being out of alignment. Then wondering: what is it bringing me? Well, I get to watch videos and that's fun. So what if I allowed myself to do that, and simply switched it around: don't build dread but do it, then watch videos? Or perhaps I'm afraid that when I start, I will never be done, so I can never relax and watch videos again! Okay, then decide on a time when I stop and allow myself what I enjoy doing. Same content of the day (some work, some relaxation) without the dread.

Transurfing helped me. I only listened to the audiobook on youtube. It had a big impact though.

LSD and memories from inside the womb And she asked: What are ADD symptoms? "It's not ADD. It's being unsupported by father, not being sure whether I want to be there, having no masculine guidance to lean on." Where did it start? "In the womb." In the womb? "I was just a peanut! My mom was afraid that my dad would leave us. He was not sure whether he wanted to be there. If he is not sure whether he wants to be there, how can I be sure whether I want to be there? How can I know it's safe?" * cries like a baby * "So I turned around before I was born" (I was born ass first) "And I held my breath" (I still hold my breath when I focus) * starts to breathe deeply and heavily, like catching the first gasps of air after being born * "And so I preferred to watch for a long time instead of participating. I was always cautious" (I watched others play on the playground instead of joining them. I also was not very enthusiastic about life events that excited others) Why did your dad want to leave? "He was tired of her insecurities about her body. He was just tired of it. She had an eating disorder. There was nothing he could do to make her feel better and accept that she was okay, and he did not feel useful. He was tired of it" * this is where we realise that we are reliving that pattern * I don't want to relive that and become our parents! "How else would we understand them? How else can we go beyond that without understanding them? I think Nature makes you become what you don't understand, so that you finally get it."

Vision comes first. That's what I do with all my clients, is build out all aspects of a powerful vision. That then works as an attractor, that pulls you toward it with a gravitational force. Daily check in with your vision also gives motivation and prevents detours and distractions. Right now you say your issue is procrastination, but I would counter that it's not clear what you are procrastinating on. If your goal was to work 12 hours a week and chill and be on your phone for the rest, which is a valid thing to want, then you are not procrastinating at all!

It will not solve the underlying problem. Emotional work has to be done to cure an addiction. A neglected inner child version has to be loved, heard, nurtured and integrated. If that doesn't happen, you can take someone's dopamine away, but they will just switch to something else. Something that provides serotonin, or endocannabinoids, or oxytocin, or numbness, or pain. Anything else really.

@soos_mite_ah First, investigate where this judgment is projected onto others, to get a complete picture. Where are you judging other people for believing something that makes them comfortable? What you judge others for, you can't let yourself do. Then there is that stern waving finger, and a voice: "But it is not aligned with truth! It is wrong!" Whose voice is that? Where did you first hear it? If it's ruining your party, I can guarantee you, it's not yours. Please answer these questions for me: How would it feel to let yourself enjoy your tarot and your astrology, without constantly having to submit yourself to this strict voice and constantly have to pledge allegiance to the "truth" that it preaches? How would you feel if you could even believe in those things that make you feel so comforted, having let go of the thought "but it isn't true"? If an idea feels relaxed to you, that is a sign that is pointing to truth. If an idea feels stressful, that is a sign that it points to falsehood. Our bodies know. We don't need the internalized voices of others to tell us which way the truth is.

That is a very honest and practical answer. I think she's cooperating with you and open to setting a date. Give her two more options, not too far away. It's better to give options because it's less resistance to just pick one. Asking someone else to come up with options is a bigger ask (more mental effort required) And teasingly comment about her weekend trip, if you can come up with something. Something contextual to what you talked about. "Weekend trip", sure sure. That's what I would also say if I had just been on an assassination mission with my KGB friends Don't worry, I won't tell. This example is contextual to a Russian girl I knew, and what we talked about. Hopefully you can come up with something that makes sense in your context. Being too fixated on setting the date to listen to anything else she tells you is a turn-off. That's how girls screen out guys who are too needy to get the date. They don't respond to anything else she says. I've made this mistake many times. But don't get lost in conversations over text. Address what she gave you in a fun way, but steer it back to meeting. No, that would be killing the nice flow you have, and probably not getting it back.