flowboy

Checked it out for you. Smells a bit culty to me, but I can't put my finger on it. Perhaps it's the outrageous overpromising, reminiscent of diet pill ads. The sales video starts with the line: "Stop, do not exercise!", and then tries to make you scared that you are doing damage to your body if you exercise when your nutrition is not totally on point. What outrageous nonsense is this?! Pages of people claiming to review it independently, are then trying to sell you their own diet pills. Also not a great sign. But I found this for you: https://www.quora.com/What-is-your-review-of-WildFit?share=1 Yeah... Of course this is only one review by a total stranger. But it's the first review that doesn't smell like a diet pill ad. And it matches my expectations based on the culty, MLM-y smell that I got from the website.

Primal therapy, Emotional Release Therapy, Gestalt, Internal Family Systems (IFS), also ketamine-assisted psychotherapy. This is by no means a complete list of therapies that work well! Others will be able to list more. I only recommend things I have personally experienced, or at least personally have gotten to know practitioners of. But some therapists trained in other, more mainstream therapy forms can still be great, when they are willing to venture beyond their training and go as deep as is required. Someone can only take you as deep as they have been willing to go with themselves. This is why selecting the right person is so important. Do they seem awake, alive, fulfilled, is there a light shining bright from their eyes, and do they radiate love? Do they have the vibe that you would like to have? Do you feel like he/she gets you? Then that might be the right person. Otherwise stay away, because you might just spend tens of thousands just talking about your life to a bored person, who takes some notes and then goes home to their family and complains about you.

Spot on, thank you.

The honesty there... Weed notoriously affects people very differently. Personally, I don't need my creativity kicked up a notch, it's turned up to eleven by default. So any little amount of weed for me means half a day of being confused, tired and mentally insane, waiting for it to wear off, swearing to never do this shit again. Once upon a time I loved it. That's in the past now.

@spiritual memes Psychedelics can give insight in what is to be healed. They can give a preview of what life could be like, without trauma or conditioning. They can point in the right direction. And they can put someone in a state where the healing becomes easier: the blocked-off memories are accessible, the feelings are more accessible, there is free association and heightened intuition. But the person still has to have the intention of going deep. The drug can't do the work for you. That's why it's called psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, as opposed to "tripping". Usually there needs to be guidance, especially if the person doesn't want to go to these places, or does not have a strong intuition to navigate them himself. Then the psychedelic is actually optional. It makes everything more accessible, but is not necessary.

Couldn't agree more, although that perspective can seem a bit insensitive to his current suffering.

I don't believe in 10 year goals. As a rule of thumb, when someone describes something they would like to achieve, but set the timeframe as 5-10 years from now, I assume that they are actually procrastinating because they don't feel worthy of achieving it sooner, or because the amount of change in identity they would have to go through as a person, scares them. And I empathize with that. It won't be any less scary 10 years from now, my friend. Putting it off that far into the future makes it feel safe, but it also makes it into a fantasy that doesn't require real work today. @Theprofessional Scratch that goal. What do you need to do in the next 12 months to become the best filmmaker you can be within 1 year? Once you have that defined, how can you accomplish half of that in the next 3 months?

I just love his direct, in-your-face approach and honesty. That's what spoke to me and hooked me. And I really respect his efforts to not turn this into a cult, and to let people know they should verify things for themselves, instead of become zombies repeating his words.

I like to just sit on my knees and do a simple prayer. Thank God for five things. Ask for guidance. It looks like I'm being religious but that's not what it is. It's a great way to connect to your higher self, and a good reminder to be open, and let go of trying to control. As well as a gratitude practice. It's all those things in one.

So well put.

Positive thinking works when you do it. But when the chips are down, and you are exhausted or depressed, you don't do it. That's where the strategy breaks down. Just made a video about this. That being said, affirmations are a great tool to manifest your internal and external vision. When you have the energy and willpower to do them, definitely do them!

@Thetruthseeker The old makes space for the new ? Trust it, welcome it, make space in your life for it. Pretty soon you'll find yourself with a new direction.

@Thetruthseeker Maybe you shouldn't be constantly deconstructing your life, that sounds exhausting. How about instead you focus on constructing a fulfilling purpose for yourself? Or even constructing a fulfilling relationship. Or constructing a fulfilling career. All of those also fall under personal development. You can find stuff you need in Leo's early videos. Construction before deconstruction. Follow the hierarchy of needs. If you haven't let yourself enjoy success, fulfillment and sexual experiences fully yet, then deconstructing them is not what you should be doing. You should be pursuing. See also the video on burning through karma.

Primal therapy, Emotional release therapy, IFS and Psychedelic-Assisted psychotherapy are lightyears more effective than any form of therapy that only involves talking and analysing. Institutions are hopelessly behind, and if you let them control your destiny, you may be missing the boat on helping people the best you can. No, you don't have to let "the system" tell you how to help people. Don't worry about what health insurance will cover. That will change soon anyway. Or move to the Netherlands, where any form of therapy is coverable. And if you serve people powerfully enough, and they need only 10 sessions with you instead of 10 years in therapy, they will happily pay you out of their own pocket. (I'm not exaggerating. I could introduce you to people who literally get these kinds of results ) I'm not saying CBT or other PDP are not helpful and great, they are. I'm saying don't let institutions have that power over you, decide independently from their constraints what you want to do. Help people in the way you believe is most effective. Finish your education, but also look beyond what is taught there. Find and experience what you believe works best. Learn that. I can give you some references of therapists who carved their own path like this, and are wildly successful.

I had a chat with @TheSomeBody and he explained to me a way in which I could condition myself to feel focused, instead of chaotic. He works very professionally, using tests before and after to measure improvement. I imagine this would work really well for someone just beginning to learn to deal with ADHD. I could have really used this 10 years ago. He is pleasant to speak to and very friendly and helpful.

Here's how to replace good thoughts with bad thoughts, for all you happy fuckers out there!

@Gabith Excellent. Truly excellent. This can take many sessions! Treat it like a real relationship with a child you love and have ignored for years. Kind of like if it were your estranged son, who you left alone to go travel for work, and didn't speak to for years. They might not forgive you and trust you right away, the first day you show up and say: "I'm back!". But they will eventually, if you keep showing up and coming back to them. So don't stop now.

@Value Okay, two things here. A woman can only orgasm easily when there is no pressure on her, to in fact orgasm. (with some exceptions if she's naturally a good cummer, but still the orgasm would be better without that pressure) You and her both are putting pressure on her to orgasm: you say she's stressing out about it, and you are on here, stressing out about it as well. Thoughts like "It's pathetic that a man can't make his girl cum" are toxic and literal orgasm killers. To understand this better, compare it to getting hard. What if one day you are stressed/tired and you are not getting so hard. And your girlfriend starts stressing out about it, saying it's pathetic that she can't get you to get hard. Then she starts inquiring into your past, asking what is wrong with you, seeing if you have trauma. Now you start stressing about it. Sex with her now reminds you that there is something wrong with you. This is what you are creating together, with all these judgments. Would that make it easy for you to get hard? If you had the thought that it was pathetic if you didn't, and also her self-esteem depended on it? Didn't think so What would you need in that situation? How low-pressure would you need the atmosphere to be, in order to relax enough to get your erection back? That's where you need to get back to. And you have to do this together. Not as a trick, for real. Get to a place of being really okay with it. So if you tell her "it's okay if you don't cum, just enjoy the moment", but you're still hoping that that will make her cum, because that would make you feel like more of a man, you're still doing it wrong. People are extremely sensitive to this stuff. Men and women both. Trauma gets stored in the body, and it makes it numb. Especially in sensitive places. If she has trouble with orgasm, there's a good chance that the sensitive spots in her vagina are numb or painful, because of past pain that is stored there. This does not have to be from sexual trauma, any sort of emotional hardship can go to the body in that way. There are techniques to release trauma from the body. It's called "body work", or "tantric body work". When doing it on the vagina, it's called "female de-armouring". Female de-armouring can in a few sessions make her vagina totally relaxed, soft and sensitive, so that she only needs little stimulation to cum, over and over again. I know because I've been taught this technique, and I've performed in on people, and it definitely works. I'm not going to explain to you how to do it, because it's not something you can just get right from some written instructions in a forum post. That wouldn't be safe. I'm just saying: if you love her and you want to help her get to that place of easily orgasming, then look into this together. Look for someone who can teach you this in-person. If you live in Europe or UK or Scandinavia, I can give you some references, DM me in that case. It only takes a few sessions, but the emotions that can come up are very intense, and you need (to be) a good spaceholder to navigate that.

@Nadosa If you went to a psych with this, they would label you and medicate you. But they label and medicate anything that is out of the ordinary. The question is, does it help you to internalize the belief that something is wrong with you? Are you okay, or do you need help? If the answer to that is yes, do you want to go the spiritual route or the psychiatric route? Only you can answer these questions.

@ertopolice I don't know how old you are, but I sense a bit of a lack of social insight from your story. Could be lack of experience, but probably also due to lack of a good example to model yourself after. Girls learn how to be a woman from their mother. Without an emotionally intelligent and healthy mother, they are quite helpless to fall prey to toxic men, because they lack this imprint of healthy discernment. Of course, if you recognize yourself in this, you can definitely develop this, if you put conscious effort into it. A good way to start imprinting yourself with healthy dating behavior, is to collect a support circle of healthy women around you, so you can learn from each other, support each other, and talk about girl stuff. Start a "sister group" / women's circle. Make sure to find women who are lucky in dating, able to find and keep good relationships with healthy men. (not just have high standards - actually finding good men and keeping them!) You'll probably feel a bit uncomfortable with them because they are so unlike your toxic mother, but you have to push through this and befriend healthy people who you want to be like. You've probably heard the saying that you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I'm a bit worried that if you don't focus on this, you could have a string of disappointments just like this. I hope you don't take offence. Obviously I could be totally off.

Thank you. Objectifying others leads to objectifying oneself. @itachi uchiha See how you just reduced yourself to a number too? Does that make you feel great, powerful, valued? To define yourself as a "2 out of 10"?

Such a conscious man indeed...

Sounds like he has a superficial streak, maybe even a bit of narcissism. Anyone can make themselves look good on social media. You fell prey to good marketing. Good marketing does not mean good product. I hope I don't sound mean. It's happened many times to me, that I pictured and fantasized too much about someone before interacting with them, and was disappointed, or even that that fantasy made me too desperate and blinded me to discern properly. It's also possible that this guy is mostly alright (although I'm not a fan of his attitude about looks), but you approached him from this place of already having decided that he was perfect for you - this can rub people the wrong way. It can come across like you were trying to put him into the box that you needed him to fit into, for your fantasy to be true. People don't like to be put in boxes - they like it when you get to know them as a person, without preconceived notions. @ertopolice Do you have girl friends who have great taste in guys, and are able to attract the right ones? What kind of example did your mother set for you in that regard? My intuition says you could use some female guidance to model healthy female dating behavior after.

My advice is to judge guys by their behavior, in real interactions with them. Women usually don't get attracted when you go up and tell them how cool you are. This is for a good reason - anyone can say that. By extension, any loser can make a cool profile. Let him prove to you that he is really that great.

This is cool and I have some experience with self-inquiry and the relief that it brings, but should not be confused for a solution to emotional problems, like fears of abandonment et cetera. That would be spiritual bypassing, the phenomenon of people joining enlightenment cults who should be joining therapy sessions. In other words, your answer is a great answer to the question that was asked, but the question was not the right question to ask for the problem presented.