flowboy

What to look for in a therapist Someone who "gets" you Someone who has evolved the attributes that you want to evolve too (is further along a certain path that you want to walk) Someone who meets you where you are and can clearly help you, this should be obvious from the start Someone who you have things in common with. The more similar you are, the better the transmission works Someone who is passionate about helping people, and you can feel this passion from talking to them Don't fall into the trap of thinking that anybody with a training in psychotherapy will therefore be able to help you. The properties listed above are far more significant. Education and understanding of the psyche is necessary, but not sufficient. If you meet a dead-eyed note taker who just lets you talk about your life and charges 200 bucks a session for just listening and hiding their boredom, move the hell on. I've dealt with enough of those, too. If the therapist is not willing to answer personal questions, so there is no way to even find out if you have things in common with them, because they're hiding behind a veil of professional distance, move the hell on. Chances are they haven't done the work on themselves, and think their job is to just robotically apply models and protocols to you. You'll be talking and they'll be scribbling on their notepad every week for years, whilst getting minimal progress. If their heart is not in it, they won't have the ability to help you powerfully. It's been scientifically proven that therapy has dramatically better results if the client is in awe of the therapist. So as much as people want to deny it and reduce it to a cold hard science of protocols and models, the juice is in the personal relationship. It's not an equal relationship, it's a more like a student-teacher relationship. They won't answer every question for you, because it's often more powerful when you have the realisation for yourself. You'll end up talking about yourself a lot more, and they will be mostly holding the space and guiding you. But they must be able to share some things out of their personal life, and relate them back to you, in moments where that can help you feel seen and less alienated, and give a sense of hope that this is all possible to overcome.

This guy is rapidly becoming my favorite spiritual teacher at this moment, precisely because he's not a teacher. He's not using that overly-present long-pause monotone nonduality-teacher voice. He's not sitting in half lotus pose, cloaked in robes, telling anecdotes in front of a crowd and subtly making them feel silly for their human weaknesses. No. He's just very matter-of-fact, telling it how it is. He's been to heaven. He's been to hell. This is why we're here guys. What else you wanna know?? No act is being put on. He's not appealing to any audience, he's not even really trying to convince anyone of anything. He just knows because he's telling this from his own memory. So refreshing.

Glass of water with salt in the morning is a life-changing habit, thank you Aubrey Marcus

I feel so bad for what this man must be going through. One positive, that I'm stoked about, is that he's finally looking inward for the source of his addiction, towards childhood trauma and unwiring that. For too long he, and his followers (me too) believed that psychedelics alone could solve addiction. I have yet to see a person with addictions that had a perfect childhood. The link is indebatable at this point. I think it's so brave that he's not hiding this from his followers, but actually documenting his journey. Not afraid to admit he's been wrong. And helping to spread the message: you can heal yourself, if you're willing to look into your past. I pray that his therapist(s!) are the right kind. The kind that allow him to feel and process, not just talk. Just talk therapy doesn't go deep enough for this. And for the people who recognize themselves in this: I wish my father had done this.

@Irina Wolf Next time you do it, I would say do a body scan. What is going on physically, mentally and emotionally, that creates the desire to do this? Obviously there is an uncomfortable (combination of) thought, sensation or emotion that needs to be drowned out by the pain. Once you have identified what this discomfort is that creates this tendency, that is step one. Step two is to figure out where it comes from and how it can be released. There's many ways. A simple way is to use written 3-2-1 shadow work. That will get you many more clues on how to unwire this. Doesn't always lead to a release directly, but gives the clues you need. If you decide to choose this route, post what you find out and we can figure out next steps from there.

Synchronicity is my main way of getting coaching clients now. Life is only weird if you assume that it is random.

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Today I really feel like I want to make my relationship work. We have a unique connection that is pretty fucking valuable. Don't want to throw it away. Also don't want to feel like we're compromising, or constantly triggering each other. Perhaps there is value in finding a new way to relate. Seems to me that living on our own is a positive for both of our mental health.

Saw it two days ago. Really enjoyed it. To me it came across like a bunch of very talented actors banded together in order to send an important warning message to the world. It's a chilling and confronting commentary on the flaws of humanity.

I think my priority is to achieve in a relaxed way, not a neurotic stressed way. This is in fact the masculine way. Stressing and being neurotic is somehow by definition not the winner’s default Perhaps because that state is brought on by being bothered with the thought of having lost before I thought I could get success in a stressed neurotic way first though, like most people. Some part of me is disappointed that I get to evolve even before Or maybe that is all just my projection, and no successful person ever got there by self-punishment and flagellation Perhaps everyone is successful to the extent that they are able to avoid that I feel like there is a high-vibrational, unburdened state in which it is really easy to manifest what you want And the more burden we carry, the more effort and suffering is required to achieve despite all of that And every worry and judgment, attachment to past or future pain is getting us further away from this God-mode. Which still doesn't make it impossible to succeed, but harder. But below a certain frequency the burden becomes so heavy that the distribution graph of likely outcomes just takes a dive, meaning most people would not find a way out of that, and this is when you're a miner, enslaved and without future prospects.

Integrating experience is what we are fundamentally here to do on Earth. That should mean, if I understand correctly, that you can Parts Work yourself all the way to enlightenment. Don't even trip, bro.

Ah, the exact reason why I don't meditate every day either

My girlfriend who I'm currently in separation from, and I, saw each other for one day, to celebrate Christmas Eve. We had a great time. But something was revealed to me yesterday, that probably would not have been clear to me if we had not taken the time out. I have mommy issues. Specifically, my scared child-part and my internalised mother-part are taking over when she makes suggestions to me. It brings me back to this belief that she's somehow always right, and it's the exact same feeling tone of the belief that I had that my mother was always right, and by extension, my own feeling was therefore wrong. So when faced with a suggestion by her that I don't want to do, I can start to doubt myself and something blocks me from saying no to her. Instead I try to get out of things by saying "I don't know." "I'm not sure." So this is the perfect dynamic to show me where I am secretly not free. Where I easily let my authentic self be overridden, because my helpless child gets triggered, feeling like his disagreement with the mother figure means that he is wrong and life will punish him for his foolishness. Yeah. So this part that I'm regressing into, definitely is a young version of me. Probably under 8 years old. The age before the concept of a parent being wrong, is even possible to grasp. So everything gets interpreted as yourself being wrong and bad. I thought regression didn't happen to me (anymore?). How arrogant I was Ouch

Awesome that you did that literary research, it shows you are really serious and I respect it. While it is true that results of a large-scale study count for more than results with a smaller group, in isolation, that does not mean that this is an effective heuristic to evaluate efficacy. The reason lies in the context. See, studies only get done when they get funding. Scientists who want to do this research, have to basically beg and plead for money, to institutions and entities with the resources. These entities who have the resources, also have strong biases. Large-scale studies are extremely costly. That means that it's only possible to get funding for large-scale studies, from investors and institutions that are already bought in to the paradigm. Or have something to gain from it. You can see where the problem lies. If someone has been educated within a system to believe that approaches X and Y work, and the rest are nonsense, then they grow up with this bias. They build a career with this bias. Now why would they give away millions, to prove something that they have lived their entire life not believing in? They wouldn't. All scientific breakthroughs have had a long history of being rejected, studies not funded, until the people representing the status quo all died or retired, and their investment into their worldview was no longer able to subvert change. This is why change is slow. Eventually the system catches up, and new discoveries propagate, but this takes many generations. If you are the type that likes to be at the forefront, and don't want to be the last to find out about the most effective methods that have been discovered, then it is imperative to take some risk, and also do your own experiential investigation. As a therapist, you will learn over time that you have to trust your own experience of what you have witnessed to work and not work, anyway. What you are taught in college only serves as a background. You won't use most of it. And the ones who become really good at what they do, find and develop their own methods and systems. For which there will certainly not be scientific studies to back them up. As for how I know: I have met many people and personally witnessed their healing. This to me counts for a lot. You can DM me and I can refer you to several people with stories that might inspire you

Awesome

@LSD-Rumi Rhodiola, Astragalus, and Reishi are good. Fish oil or krill oil is essential to take care of the brain, you can take a gram a day. What's missing is a holistic perspective. I can tell you that supplements can be lifesavers in rough times, but there is a level you can reach where you don't need any. I didn't see anything harmful in your stack, but if you start using all of these at once, you'll never know which of them are working for you. Can you describe your diet in detail?

Following!

You can try standing barefoot on the soil to ground yourself. I hope you feel supported, you'll get through this! We are with you.

Probably best to let go and not try to keep the ego alive next time. It will come back soon enough anyway. If you are having balls of energy moving up and down your body, threatening to annihilate your ego, combined with agitation and the other things you are describing, I would say it's possibly a case of kundalini rising. That means I'm a little out of my depth here. This would be a good time to get (back) into kriya yoga or something like it If you want help navigating it, seek out a good Reiki practitioner. Or maybe an advanced yoga teacher. Here's a youtube channel about it which I really like, you can check and see if you recognize anything in yourself @Nahm

@okulele do you have some wisdom to add here?

Possibly it only feels like a ball of anxiety because of the resistance against death. You can easily verify this by accepting death next time it happens. If my intuition is right, the anxiety aspect will transform into a positive feeling. And if not, a ball of anxiety can't physically kill you. Unless you fall. So make sure to be seated or lying down and have pillows.

It's rhetoric. Not to be taken literally. Of course it's helpful to realise that time and energy are finite, and what you focus on daily, over time improves exponentially. What's not helpful is worrying when you will achieve "mastery". People who are said to have achieved mastery, are still working just as hard to improve every day. There is no finish line. The learning never stops. So better pick something you love.

@roopepa Thank you for giving me the idea for my next video. In short: sense of purpose, that clear sense of "this is my thing", only comes after people have thanked you for something you love to do for them. That's because our hardwired sense of purpose is tied into being useful in a community. So no idea will feel real until real people have said "thank you for doing this for me". There are some variations on this, such as getting real life feedback in other ways that what you did was useful, such as people leaving good reviews, buying and using your products, or even just watching their lives improve in some way as a result of what you did. To get to that place, you need to make small bets. Trying stuff out and getting to that place of feedback, is a much better strategy than just thinking about the perfect idea.

1. Talk to this wound by writing @Raphael A conversation will help unmesh and understand the conflicting parts. Examples: I'm sure you've done Face it, talk to it, be it plenty of times before. 2. Additionally, try dynamic meditation by Osho. I'll share some stuff with you that could help ground you. Using physicality in meditation is very helpful when so much is showing up at once. 3. Standing barefoot on the earth helps to ground many people who have kundalini rising. Easy enough to find out if that works for you too. I agree with @Preety_India , take care of the basics and let it happen. Drink plenty of water. This is all happening for you. It's all Love. It's all exactly the way it is meant to happen. Take care of the body and don't worry too much about what to do. You are not the one doing it