flowboy

Damn that's eloquent

@UnbornTao At that time I went keto at the same time, so I had a mild 'keto flu' which means a few days of body aches and low energy. These days I eat sugar sometimes, but on most days I don't, so there's no dependency there. Trained myself to buy healthy ingredients, so sugar is the exception rather than the rule and I'm content with that.

Pretty sure "I'm not ready" is a birth feeling for me. I would rather be the one to make myself "not ready" (by leaving things unfinished), than be ready externally, have everything clean and tidy, and have to feel something deeper. Not ready to be born? Incomplete, not done developing? Ooh, I can sense that goes deep. Incomplete = not ready. I also feel not ready to receive love, quite often, especially when my kitchen is not ready, or the tidiness of my desk or calendar is not ready. Having a friend over or my partner would then feel quite triggering and I'm not ready. I've been extremely focused on making things complete since I was very young. At the same time, being so detail-oriented that I needed an impossible amount of time to make things complete, to fulfill my perception of what complete was. When I start a project and it's nearing readiness, I will inevitably find something extra, that also needs to be done or else it wouldn't be complete. Then if I would cut off that extra thing, it's like falling into an abyss. I either complete it or ... death. And yes, I'm happy to be my own cause of this unready feeling in the present. To leave things on my desk, to create a bit of a mess. It's great to have something to point to. Without that... I feel anxiety rising and a black void opening up.

I'll say what needs to be said. This guy needs therapy, not 'Truth'. @Blackhawk Sorry to hear what you went through. Your initial posts in this thread mention two things: Can't have a tripsitter because I don't know anyone I have "naturally bad nerves" Not knowing anyone is a sign of depression and bad nerves means you have anxiety. Not the exact recipe for a good 'set' before this trip - I'm surprised how many people missed that and just encouraged you to go into it, while there's clear signs that your mental health is not in order and you don't have a good support system. Don't blame the community though - you did this together. No one can convince you that a dose of LSD will fix you if you don't convince yourself first. When you've had some time to take a breath and recover - please look into healing, especially therapy forms that address childhood trauma, rather than spirituality and 'Truth', because that seems to be just not what you need right now.

You're keeping the doses low, so even if the setting turns out to be bad for you it will still be very manageable. Don't worry too much about it. That said, you've probably heard "set and setting" They are interlinked, not separate. The helpfulness or unhelpfulness of a setting depends on how it makes you feel (your set) So if being in a house with family around, who you can not tell about your tripping, makes you feel tense and anxious because of the secretiveness, then it's not a good setting. Personally I'm not wired to care super much about what someone else thinks about me, so it wouldn't send me into a bad spiral. A hotel room would, because I'm quite sensitive to the feeling of being out-of-place, not at home, lost. So that would be much more likely to send me into a negative spiral, then again, if I'm looking to face that feeling and see what early trauma it is connected to, perhaps it would be perfect for me. Just not the easiest trip. For someone else a hotel room would feel easy and safe. Go for a place you are physically safe. So don't go wandering off into nature without telling anyone where you're going. You won't be able to use Google Maps when you're tripping, so getting lost is a real possibility. Secrets contribute to paranoia, anxiety and disconnection, so if at all possible, make sure the people in your house know and accept what you are doing.

If you were not repressing anything then you would have a full vividly experienced emotional range, the sensory experience of simply living would be so satisfying and rich that you can hardly bring yourself to do any unhealthy habit on top of it, your level of empathy would be deep and come naturally, life would feel rich and meaningful without having to do much, and you'd be very emotionally stable. Also you'd have vivid childhood memories that go back till birth. Most of us are repressing some stuff Some of us - a lot. That can turn into depression. How can you know? The telltale signs are numbness to certain experiences and overreaction to some others. Anything but what was described above. How can you discover it? Talk to someone who knows how to spot this and who can help you use that as a starting place for healing. (Healing basically being using a systematic process for digging up repressed feelings and integrating them, each piece enriching your life experience until you are no longer experiencing depression) If you want to go the therapist route, look for someone who does Schema therapy, Reichian therapy, Emotional Release Therapy, or Primal therapy. ERT and Reichian therapy are done physically. One session should be enough to see if it works on you. The most important part is that you feel like they get you and you trust them.

@MilenaS Awesome! Really enjoyed our calls and ongoing correspondence ?

Podcast for other people who like to waste their energy debating and debunking He can enlist your help with that, not mine I'm going to practice what I preach here and not engage in debate

That would be a terrible waste of your energy. Let people believe whatever they want. Debating people does not lead to them having better beliefs and thanking you for it. The only reason you'd even want to - is because you are not secure in your own foundation. So start there. The other person is irrelevant. What do you want to believe? How can you act in accordance with that belief, so that it grows stronger?

@Average Investor All these thoughts can be grouped into "overthinking" - it's not that their content is not interesting, but they usually don't reflect the deeper reasons for your action or inaction. It goes like this: I feel something (attraction) Something blocks me from my natural expression of that attraction energy (talking to her) The energy of the attraction has to go somewhere - and so it goes into the mind and disperses into a web of thoughts (what was quoted above) I would say that for you it's crucial to find out what the blockage is in step 2 - what really stops you from following an attraction by expression without even thinking about it. You can't do this by thinking, you can only do this by feeling. This is what I'd do with a client in a session as a first step. Feel into that moment where you stop yourself. What is that feeling? Where have you felt that before? And before that? This really needs to be done from a meditative, relaxed state, again not thinking just feeling. You can ask it some questions and see what comes up (see my guided video)

I would call self-love practices actually pseudo-spiritual, because they are ways in which people try to address their trauma (which is not a real fix). A person who has really processed all their trauma does not need to practice self-love, or even have a concept of it. It is a given. Never need to think about it again.

I can do that in one session. That is indeed what much of today's therapy seems to be about - talk therapy especially, but psychoanalysis is also quite ineffective. All mind, little feeling. You seem to have a sharp intuition!

It is not the values and what you call ignorance, it is your judgment of those values. It's a quality which you judge as negative, therefore suppress in others the same way you suppress it in yourself. Integrating the shadow would put a stop to the suppression and judgment of that quality in others and yourself. (in your case: you would have no problem with stage orange things and not try to suppress those in yourself) Scary, eh?

Still your shadow talking. Your shadow is in the judgment of those values. "superficial", "ignorance" - that's the shadow. Nothing is lurking for me and I don't experience anxiety currently. What is your goal with it? Why would they be able to screw you up?

I'll come with, that sounds like a perfect place for a flowboy.

It can be very useful to distance yourself, find peace, to get perspective and insight on the situation. I'm not judging what you are doing one way or another, I have not enough information to understand what you even mean I'm just responding to the very generalised "Is leaving the most important thing" to which I would say no.

That's your shadow talking. I'm not anxious. I have a long track record of facing my fears head-on. I'm also very much a work in progress. I deal with ego backlashes, binges of unhealthy stuff, lapses in discipline, shame, self deception, and other challenges on a regular basis. I do my best to work through everything that comes up using the techniques I know and more importantly the support of friends, therapists, and coaches I trust, which produces learning, which I then am able to put back into my work helping others.

Funny because you started this topic making all kinds of claims, like sugar isn't bad and junk food won't harm you Insulin resistance is not a "detail". It's a major factor for most chronic disease, and a major gaping hole in your knowledge. I'm not a health expert either. That's @Michael569 I do however open myself to a lot of information from different sources, and don't make excuses for not knowing. You might consider doing the same.

She needs to be committed to her own journey of personal development, as do you, and the relationship needs to serve both of those journeys. If she's growing and learning, and you're out there growing and learning, then coming together to connect is not boring, it is a much needed balancing out. Also a relationship is something you should be constantly evolving. Read books about it. David Deida. John Gray. Having a relationship is definitely active, not passive.

@meadow lol you were at the rave I mentioned. Are there places to find peace at Fusion? I think what made a big difference in my trips is that I could just go sit on the beach and swim and not be swarmed by people.

My money is on escapism. Nothing wrong with some good old-fashioned escapism every once in a while. Everyone deserves an experience of peace. Don't elevate it into a spiritual, high-consciousness thing. Eventually you'll have to face what you're running from. Which is what?

Lol. "High consciousness people would surely think like me, because I'm the highest consciousness person I know!" Really? There's no chance they understand something that you don't, therefore they do something that seems counterintuitive to you?

Leave a toxic family system. Leave toxic friendships. Leave everyone..? That sounds like escapism. Wherever you go, there you are.

This is what people are trying to point to. You want to sleep with a taken woman if she takes the initiative, so you can point to her and say she's the cheating one. I don't judge you for it. In fact, I did this and that's how I got into a relationship. I allowed a girl to cheat on her boyfriend with me, and made her my girlfriend. Now that didn't help me sleep easy, because her boyfriend was a local criminal and known to own a gun / have a gang. But more importantly, I ended up with a woman I couldn't trust. She did lie and cheat in the end. A lot. You might think you'd get away with it if you just sleep with her, not get into a relationship. And you would... but you pay for it karmically. If you do that, next time you do have a girlfriend and she hangs out with a male friend, you won't sleep easy. You'd get paranoid and jealous and mess up the relationship. Afraid of the guy sleeping with your girl, because that's what you would do. See how that works? Now if you were to act with integrity, you would address it with her: "I feel like you're flirting with me, and I'm not comfortable with that because you're in a relationship. I might be open to it if you weren't, but you are, so we need to address this ambiguity."