flowboy

@Aakash Vijayan My advice would be to seek out YouTube channels and podcasts that talk about avoidant/anxious dynamics, you may find some good specific tips there on how to deal with this together. If she is avoidant attached and acknowledges that, then she may be up for working on the relationship together and seeing that you both have a part in this. I'm sure there's many relationship coaches that focus on this, and you could really benefit from a call with one, as a couple. Then, you can use your current relationship for growth and it can last a long time. If she's not willing to work on it, then you can still do your part to heal your attachment system, through therapy. However, if she's truly avoidant and you would actually heal yourself towards a more secure attachment style, while she remains the same and doesn't work on it, then ultimately the relationship will probably not work out, because avoidants seek out anxious for a reason. Avoidants end up with anxiously attached people because those are the only ones who will put up with their shit (becoming distant suddenly after moments of great connection, etc). No securely attached person will ultimately settle for that behavior. So, if it's true that she's an avoidant and it's not just your projection, then you both will have to agree to heal simultaneously, through your individual therapy but also supporting each other and being incredibly patient. In any case, what I would do is get a therapist who specializes in attachment, work with them, and hope for the best. It is for the best. It will either benefit your current relationship, or the next one. @meadow what do you think?

If there will be a movie about my life, I'll send it to you

Loved that show ^ ^

Hahaha, those are not so basic for most people, even here For sure. Why are these things even called 'basics', or foundationals, it's misleading

@Ves Sounds like neither your childhood nor your academic pursuits have left you much time or freedom to find out what you're actually passionate about. Time to reclaim that. Life purpose course? If you need/want to work now, then maybe joining a startup is better, since you're closer to the mission, and if it's a mission you can get behind, you'll feel more passionate.

... which you want because of your core desire for more wealth or possibly more sex. Or it could be related to the 'esteem' desire from Maslow's pyramid, but that falls under "raising your status in your relative bubble" In other words, if you had work ethic and ambitious drive, then you would be more proud of yourself or your friends would see you as more cool. Or it's about money or sex. Other desires don't matter because most people are in survival mode. You may have a desire for art and beauty, but are you going to buy that 1200$ painting? No, because having more wealth is an unfulfilled core desire that is more important at the moment. (unless having that painting in your house makes you look cool in front of your friends, depending on how unfulfilled your esteem needs are currently, you might still buy it) It works the same for others. To make money, you have to think about your followers/customers/clients/fans' lives and needs. For example, if you were a music artist selling merchandise, you are helping them 1. be entertained, and 2. look cool with the t-shirt in their circle of friends (status) Or you wouldn't sell. You could say most music also fulfills a mental health need, as the songs are about relatable emotions and it helps to process your own. More examples: If you can draw things, then you could: - draw things for clients that need to have things drawn so that they can make money, for example game companies ($$) - draw portraits for people at childrens' parties, for entertainment ($) - draw portraits for people who can hang it up at their place and raise their status with it ($$$$), but you'll only make that work when you yourself have reputation and status - teach drawing ($) at a school/art class, you can make it work but it's not a goldmine because it's very indirectly related to a core desire of the decisionmaker - teach drawing online for people who are hoping to become an artist and get their wealth needs met (commoditized, not lucrative unless you have status and reputation) - teach people how to draw AND make a good income from it ($$$$), more directly related to the wealth desire, will only work if you actually know how to and can make people believe it - draw children's books to entertain them ($$) - draw children's books to aid their mental health development ($$$$), parents love to overspend on their child's health and status - draw things that promises to raise people's vibration (mental health need), Teal Swan pulls that off but she has status and reputation, which makes the value more believable. Etc. I would invite you to cross-reference all your skills in a table with the core desires, and come up with 5 ideas per cell. Like this: forgot the "increase wealth" one btw.

@Danioover9000 No, it's about basic empathy and understanding for other human beings. Almost everyone, including you, has some core desires or needs that they are trying to meet, which I listed above. For example, you are currently looking to fulfill a desire for more wealth, which is one of them. If what you do doesn't help them towards one of those core desires, they have no time or money for your product or service. If they have no time or money for your product or service, then you won't make money. Almost everyone, including you, is too busy or tired or scared to care about what you have to offer, unless it helps them away from a pain that is relevant to them, towards pleasure, in a way that they can believe.

Yeah, sounds like for you this can be your life purpose. If it feels like an important and fascinating pursuit, as you say, then you can be doing that and thus live your purpose regardless whether that's where your income is made, or not. If follow Artsu's thought and really believe that you doing your own exploration benefits all, then maybe you can get people to pay through a platform like Patreon, for you to meditate and explore. Maybe that can be aligned, but you have to absolutely believe it, and still make an effort to reach people and make them feel, see and believe it too. If you believe that it benefits others only when you share your wisdom, then that can be aligned, you can get people to pay for it, but also here, you have to make an effort to reach them and make them feel, see and believe it too. The higher your capability of empathizing with your fans or supporters, being interested in them and their needs versus what you want to tell them, and meeting them where they are at, the more success you will have. Tons of ways, platforms online or offline, to do that, aren't there? Before YouTube, bands would just perform locally wherever they could get a gig, or even on the street, until they gained a following. Spiritual teachers would just speak wherever they could get listeners, even in backrooms of a bar. It's about consistently showing up for people. And if you don't deep down believe that it benefits others, but it still feels like the most fascinating and important thing for you to do, then you can make money some other way.

Eating well is important, but not enough to prevent chronic disease. You also have to shed unhealthy codependent patterns in relationships with others, feel and express suppressed anger, find unconditional self-love, and set healthy boundaries. (Loosely paraphrasing When The Body Says No by Gabor Mate) This is not to diminish the value of this discussion, just pointing out the unconscious bias that we have in this society, that physical health only comes down to physical actions like diet, exercise and sleep. It doesn't. Many common idiopathic diseases for example MS, ALS, some types of dementia and cancer can be observed to have their roots in personality and emotional well-being, well before physical symptoms and markers present themselves.

preach

I see, similar to Andrew Tate? Guys Tate is not successful because he's on TikTok, he's successful because he makes guys think that he will help them: get women raise their status get rich Of course none of which he actually does, but that's why people follow and buy his crap. Not because of the fucking platform he uses

No, that's not what I said. I said link it to one (1) of those points I named above, creatively. Doesn't matter how many of your experiences you link, I mean that's good for you because you can express more of yourself, but as long as it's not linked to something THEY care about, which is: they ain't gonna pay you. Or click you. Or follow you. So yeah combine any of those with something you know, and you've got something. If you use your tulpamancy skills to somehow help people fix their relationships/know their future (certainty), you'll make money. If you make your own video game and it's pure entertainment, you can make money but it better be really fucking entertaining. Just creating it as an art project won't sell a lot of games. Or you can make a video game that helps people be happier / navigate their mental health better / something Or you can make music to improve people's physical health (think sound healing). Or mental health. Or the music has to be really fucking entertaining to them. Or to their dog. People will spend their hard earned cash on music to calm their dog. There's gotta be something in it for THEM, see? See what I mean by linking creatively? It's just drawing lines between what you can do and some needs from Maslow's hierarchy, and filling in the blanks.

You can only help someone to the level that you've gone yourself. Few, if any, therapists will be able to get people to integrate their full trauma/shadow. The field of regulated as well as unregulated therapy is full of very mediocre healers who constantly interject their judgments into the sessions. I personally know full-blown pill addicts who haven't faced their own abuse trauma, but still think they should be giving group workshops on trauma release. That results in violating boundaries, such as recording the session without permission and showing off with it. If you want to heal most or all of your trauma quickly, officially trained Primal therapists would be your best bet, but those are extremely rare. It's not cheap, but once I can, I will work with one in the Netherlands to help me integrate my full shadow, or at least 80%. I believe it will make me a better coach. To sum up: Only you can intuit whether you are ready to help people. You don't need to be fully healed, but the more you have integrated the better you will be. And there's a baseline of trauma response act-outs that are just not acceptable. Be careful of "teacher ego" and healer ego. If you need your clients to give you positive feedback, you're probably not ready. I find it better to think of it as "healing happens sometimes, as if decided by a higher power, when both me and the client tune in to our intuitions", than "I am the one who helps/heals". Be humble and ask the tough questions. If your clients don't actually improve, you need to be willing to see that.

@Animo Besides what Leo said, I would discourage you from gathering a "mastermind" of people just grouped by "interested in all possible wealth creation methods". Here's why: It's not a mastermind you will learn anything from. When people don't even know vaguely what path they want to pursue, they are such beginners that they won't have any quality experience to share. It attracts people who are so needy for money that they are prone to fall for scams, also they undervalue meaningful contribution so their vibration will be one of "taking" and they won't be successful until they evolve out of that It will just devolve into "I heard crypto this" "Look at SMMA that" chaos It already exists in a way that your circle of rookies won't have anything to add to: thefastlaneforum, that's pretty legit. Actual millionaires there. The community is attached to a series of books, filtering out numbnuts who will fall for scams. Have a look over there. I once had a "fastlaning" mastermind with a few friends who are actually pretty high level, we brainstormed business ideas and nothing really came out of that. I would in fact discourage you from asking the question "how can I make money" at all, before you've asked and answered the question: "who do I want to help/inspire" or "what am I obsessedly passionate about". And "making money" doesn't count as an answer, that's just neediness expressed in words. Unless you're obsessed with a particular thing already such as real estate, but you better hope your passion is authentic or you'll have a bad time. You can make money in thousands of ways, but if there's no powerful non-selfish "WHY" behind it, or at least a passion for a certain specific topic, it's a low quality mission attracting low quality people, you're basically asking to either be unhappy or get scammed.

Only someone directly helping you close sales should get a commission, and only for those sales they closed for you or helped you close. If a sale can't be directly attributed to their actions, don't give a piece away, it's asking for trouble. A perpetual commission like that is basically an absurdly high royalty. Don't sign that.

Talked about this at length with my good friend D yesterday. Death, and accepting that one is going to die soon or soon-ish, is a great tool to clarify what's important, to live and spend time more intentionally, and it works well against procrastination. But the interpretation is still completely subjective and relative to values. He used the "memento mori" when he was in a situation where he's dating a beautiful woman who really turns him on, but who has a stalker. For him, he's going to die someday anyway, so with the very low risk that this stalker would actually hurt him, he decided he wants to experience this woman. He values turn-on, beauty and adventure. For me, the same "memento mori" would make me do the opposite: I would quickly move away from the situation because I value deep healthy connection, and chances are that when there's a drama like that, both parties are at a comparable level of emotional maturity, which would get in the way of a healthy connection. For some, knowing one is dying soon-ish would mean to work more and get more done. For others, to work less and enjoy more. Either way, it furthers intentionality, and that is beautiful.

Her not responding was probably a test to see if you would be brought out of balance emotionally. And you were. So that's great now you can thank her for pointing out where you need to shine the light on your shadow and give it more love. What do you believe it means about yourself when someone doesn't deem it important to respond to you? Worthless? A loser? Something else? When did you first have that feeling? I guarantee it has nothing to do with this situation in the present. Can you sit for 5 minutes and just meditate on that younger version of you that felt like an X when Z happened, and be the most loving understanding parent to it? There you go. You've now permanently improved your reactiveness to the trigger of 'girl not responding'. Thank her! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjG_4MSZDP0&t=1s

@Tyler Robinson Melting my heart on a Thursday morning? Don't know what I did to deserve this lovely comment but thank you. You are wonderful.

Figure out how to use those skills to make people: become healthier (physically or mentally) become wealthier improve their relationships raise their status within their bubble/community entertained Feel more safe or certain (think church and clairvoyants) or any of the above for their dog or child If you can't, you're not going to make money. But you probably can link it to one of those things, if you think creatively. It doesn't have to be guaranteed. People will also pay for something that could give them such a result. Lottery tickets, dating apps, dog psychiatry.

@at_anchor You can't test it, but it does kind of make for a coherent logic. According to near-death-experiencers and pre-birth-rememberers, we come here to be human in order to practice being trusting and loving in the face of fear, pain and adversity. It's supposed to be hard and that's the game (according to that group of people. It's anecdotal but consistent) If you would be able to be sure, by testing it, absolute science, skepticism, then it would be easy to be trusting and loving. Because it doesn't require a leap of faith. And so it defeats the purpose, because then everyone can be convinced that everything is for their own good, and it would remove the fear that is part of why they came here. A test that we do have, is what happens when we choose trust and love vs what happens when we choose doubt and fear. It's a free choice, but it can be observed that trusting leads to a better life and doubting leads to a worse life, with compounding effects over time. So in a way, isn't that enough? If I were you I would just practice living as if all the bad stuff in your life was happening for you, with your utmost growth and expansion in mind, even if you don't believe it, and see what happens if you keep that up for a few weeks. What do you have to lose?

@at_anchor Might help.

@Chives99 Good! All your social sticking points will be smoothed over anyway if you apply an enormous amount of childlike curiosity and self-love and forgiving self for mistakes. At least in my experience. The difference between me and someone who doesn't struggle socially, what I have observed, is that someone who seems to get what they want/need effortlessly have a sense of trust that they will be provided with everything eventually if they just are themselves and do what comes natural. And when they mess up, they don't have a huge shame reaction so they learn quicker.

Is it an option for you to grow shrooms? Often, the spores/grow kits are legal to order, and people with OCD have seen really good results from psilocybin

If you'd rather take the risk of combining poorly researched chemicals with LSD, the combination of which could very well be unsafe and damage your brain for all you know, than spend a couple extra bucks on your acid, then your priorities aren't in order. Mixing is dangerous, unless the combination is well-researched or has a long anecdotal history of use. I can kind of see what you are trying to do, but to me it seems overly controlling/micromanaging on one side and reckless on the other side. A trip is a trip. It does with you what it wants. You get more benefits the more you trust it. People with OCD have been cured with guided psilocybin trips, maybe look into that? LSD is "abrasively psychoanalytic", in the words of Terence, which I find to be true, I can see how it can make you think too much but not get to the source of the lack of trust.

Good work, but don't stop there. I'd go into a parts work session here. You could resolve this for real if you just go a bit deeper. Part of your psyche is saying this stuff, I would find out where it's been hurt and what memories/evidence it's still dealing with that make it fear change.