flowboy

Try to do the opposite a couple times and watch how little effect it has. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. No Yes, you have a fear that you could do some introspective shadow work on. Something about people surpassing you, getting left behind, not being as good as others? Losing something, losing control, getting lost? Not doing it right, other people seeing that you don't know what you're doing? That you're secretly worthless? Or that no one is interested in you, no one values what you are interested in? I can't tell you what it is and where it comes from, but you can find out and perhaps by doing some work on it, you can release yourself from that fear, and spend less mental energy on gatekeeping. Now wouldn't that be nice.

I've found myself annoyed over the recent upsurge in "Look at this shocking thing I found elsewhere on the internet, I'm gonna post it here without any context or own input" posts. @Leo Gura I was here 3 years ago, there were many more self-reflective, humble, gentle, carefully considering and open-to-change-their-minds people active then. What do you think happened? When I joined, I was way more lost than now, but I learnt a hell of a lot about my own ego games, interacting with people here who pointed them out, and set a good example of careful introspection. This forum helped me become more mature. I couldn't get the same benefit out of it today. I also don't need it today, so it's fine. But I'm curious what you attribute the shift to.

Find something fun to do with other people on a regular basis (whatever kind of meetup, acting class, public speaking, group workouts you can find). You need social interaction. Get therapy so you can improve on your mental health problems, which will also improve your social life and financials massively. Watch my video below on how to select a good form of therapy. If you want more specific advice, please provide more details and a more specific question.

I love how everyone in this thread just took what the girl said at face value. Her boyfriend "used to rape her" and she was okay with that, even reminisces positively about that. Something is deeply unresolved in her psychology! No reason to take this personally, and go on a self-hating quest to "get fit", "get more dominant", "get out of the derp state" Dude. You just dated a girl with some unresolved psychological issues, you found out about them, it caused an incompatibility, and you ended it. That's all that happened. You're letting your own low self esteem mess with you into thinking that it means something about you. It's not about you.

You only settle down when one woman shocks you to the core in how amazing and compatible she is with you and how much she adds to your life. All these girls you're seeing and have been seeing, they're not good fits for you. Just temporary stations along the way. So enjoy it if you want, be open and above board, but in my experience, forming long term attachments with people who you know are not going to last, just creates unnecessary emotional mess to clean up. If you are attached to your freedom, like I am, don't mistake women who are okay with letting you do whatever you want, for the right partners for you. Don't get attached to those. Don't confuse them for girlfriends. Don't settle down with any of them. They are just confused and unsure what they want, and perhaps in a phase of their life where that's fine. Wait for the one that makes you suddenly want to willingly give up your freedom because life with her is just so damn amazing. (there's still freedom on the other side, you just have to go through a bit of ego death)

My dad literally used to say to me as a kid that I / " we in this family" are genetically weak. I grew up not properly socialized, not fitting in, being bullied, thinking my parents are weak and made me weak, but everything I tried to do about it just got me into a deeper hole. I got myself out of the haze. Happy to chat if you want my perspective on something.

And that wasn't a red flag for you??

Very exciting!

I'm not upset, I just mistook you for a spammer. We get those here sometimes. Apologies. @TraceBurkeQHHT Can you induce me? It sounds like a lovely experience.

Yes, except "intentional" sounds like it's a conscious decision, which it is usually not. Usually when escapism happens, you tell yourself it's for a good reason and you're in denial about the actual reason. The only way that works for me to tell the difference, is the "energy" behind it. Is there something frantic in me that can't wait? A quality of neediness, neurotic urge? If it feels like you're calm and you could take it or leave it, it's not escapism. Sounds alright to me. I also stocked up on a bunch of acid once (acquired legally, it was 1P). I didn't want to be dependent on friends anymore. I was rather watching for something like "having lots of acid so I can obliterate my mind". That would be unhealthy. You're fine, enjoy a trip if you think it would help you. Might help you break free from the opinions of friends

@TraceBurkeQHHT are you being paid to promote this? It's suspicious that this is your first post.

This is a bit fishy though, why do you need a lot? What does it represent to you?

@vishnusavestheday Escapism is when you'd rather be tripping than sober. So you can't wait for the effects to come on, so that you can stop thinking what you're thinking, and feeling what you're feeling. Even then, doing that once won't hurt and will probably set you straight. It's only a problem if it's a habit, e.g. you should be working on moving out and changing your life but you're taking acid on the weekends instead.

Made dinner and prepared for bed without any negative thoughts or resistance today. No laziness. That’s new. My deep feeling session might have something to do with that. I feel optimistic that I can actually get better.

@flyingwhalee Any nightmares? What imagery do you see, if any, on your mind's eye when you get to the hellish state? You may be able to identify the state as a repressed memory, if you ask the subconscious some questions. If that's the case, then recognizing it as such will help.

@vishnusavestheday Psychedelics are anti-addictive, so no you're not sacrificing your sobriety. LSD used to be one of the original 12 steps of AA. Unless you use them as an escape. Only you can know whether you are escaping something by tripping. Sidenote: I've stopped recommending psychedelics to people after I realised that although they work great for me, they could go very badly for people with a shakier psychology (prone to anxiety, etc)

It's not a psychedelic and it's not a dissociative. It's a deliriant. The effects are very different from psychedelics and also from dissociatives. They make you instantly forget that you took something, and then they make you see people that are not there and have conversations with them. Your connection to every day reality can entirely disappear and you can be walking around in a hell / dream world. The effects can easily last multiple days. No one knows if they are safe to take when one has a predisposition for psychotic states, but common sense would have to say no.

@Mips Based on what I've read on epilepsy, psychedelics and the brain, I would theorize that they are definitely capable of triggering seizures. I'd only proceed if that's an acceptable risk to you. I've seen people have convulsions on low doses of LSD, although they weren't full-on epileptic seizures, their entire body started shaking and their eyes moved erratically, and they didn't remember it well afterwards. Then again, if I search, I can find one anecdote of someone who stopped having seizures after taking LSD.

I was induced. 2 weeks late, a drug was used to make me get born. Explains a lot of my hangups around being ready for things, finishing things, and things happening without my consent.

@Thought Art The purging of repressed painful memories. Happiness is a default state, for which you need very little as an adult (some social contact, some meaningful thing to do, food, sleep, shelter) If you have the basic things and your state deviates from happiness, it's old pain messing with your present reality.

@Parki I personally have a tendency to do things about 75% of the way, and then invent a reason to procrastinate on the rest. I've observed in myself and others that there can be a deep discomfort/anxiety around finishing. This can be a deep pattern. What helped me understand it better, was reading about birth imprints. (See Imprints by Arthur Janov) Basically, how you do one thing is how you do everything, and it can be related to how smoothly your birth went. To gain more understanding and compassion for yourself, ask your mother whether there were any complications, whether it took too long, if any medications or special procedures were used, anything at all. Unwiring that deep pattern can be a lengthy process that needs some specific professional guidance. Since I haven't gone through that, I need a practical workaround. I've found it helpful to: Practice being aware and noticing when it happens Feel into the feeling that prevents you from finishing (notice that you are not getting sidetracked "by" external things, rather, there is a discomfort arising when you're about to finish, and you react to that by doing something else instead) Get someone, maybe a friend or partner, to sit next to you for the finishing bit - they don't even have to help, just the presence of someone else helps to push through. Alternatively, use this awareness to build a habit to push through by yourself. But get others to be with you when you can, it makes it a lot easier.

Healthy anger should not be suppressed. It's protective, cleansing. What is healthy anger? Healthy anger is when the anger is just about the present situation, without overtones of triggered childhood trauma. It flows through you quickly, no rage or yelling is usually needed, just an intensity of presence and subtle raising of the voice. Everyone knows what's up when healthy anger comes to express itself. When people get diagnosed with an "anger management problem", they just have unresolved suppressed trauma that's mucking up their perceptions. So using the times when you get "too" angry to find blocked memories, and processing those, is how you master it.

A rock with cancer.

So what were the criticisms actually?

That's easy then, the workouts are the change that's new, and they are closer to bedtime than is recommended for sleep. I would try to work out earlier in the day and see if that helps you sleep through the night!