flowboy

It's similar to electroshock therapy. The brain develops negative thinking patterns, projected fears, and other neurotic symptoms due to stored unprocessed pain, residing in deeper brain regions, which exerts a constant pressure on the outer layer where our thoughts beliefs and ideas live. A seizure (which is what is induced by ECT) will temporarily reset that. An epileptic seizure too, that's the body doing it to itself. And so will a good ketamine treatment. It dissociates the connection between the stored pain and the thinking mind. That's why it's also a good treatment for physical chronic pain and phantom pain. Eventually though, the unprocessed psychological pain, which has been exerting a constant force on the outer layer, will create new negative beliefs, ideas and thoughts. Which is why I would recommend combining it with therapy.

If you want to be doing this every 2-6 months to keep your anxiety or depression under control, that's fine, and in that case it doesn't really matter what music you listen to or whether you get a full experience from it. It's really more about the chemical working its magic to dislodge negative patterns in your thinking. Listen to whatever trippy music you like. If you want to have a chance at this treatment working permanently, then I would advise you to have a therapist with you or on a call. And if you can't do that, then get into some deep shadow work/self-therapy beforehand, and during if possible, to uncover the root of your anxiety. Ideally you would uncover the blocked or partially blocked memory that is causing the symptom first, and then work through it while on ketamine.

They stay away for 3-6 months. I've experienced it by accident after taking ketamine at a festival.

Looking at the dosage (200mg), the OP is going to have a trip. These days ketamine is being sold legally for the purposes of having an at-home trip to treat a medically diagnosed issue. So this is not about taking it daily, it's about taking it every 6 months or so and enjoying the disappearance of past negative thoughts and mindsets. It's like electroshock therapy, but more pleasant.

Crepes are pancakes? Seems like your diet is very high carb low fat. You could try replacing the crepes/bread with eggs fried in olive oil or avocado oil.

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They don't like each other, is what seems to be the consensus. A good crazy combo is LSD + DMT. I have not tried this, but I'd be interested to.

I appreciate and respect your commitment! Give the questions I listed in the other topic a try, if you get a chance. Either by journaling or by asking your subconscious and expressing. They are powerful.

@Federico del pueblo That retreat is an excellent intro and you should do it if you have the opportunity. You'll process a lot in a short time and learn how to get yourself into a deep feeling state. I'm sure it helped open up the pathway for me and made it easier to primal about other layers that came up later. The group process and the way it's structures helps weaken the defenses and makes the feeling accessible. It's 2.5k at the moment. And after that you'd still need to keep going, in the way I described in the linked post, whenever a feeling is trying to come up (whenever you get depressed or moody or anxious or something else, you can learn to recognize your signs of old feelings). That means having a session, unguided or guided, once or multiple times a week. Takes people between .5 - 2 years to process all their major stuff that way, after which they are not neurotic anymore and their mental and psychosomatic symptoms are gone forever. That takes a lot of discipline and most people don't do that, unless they live near the Primal Institute and can come in for a session whenever they want. But it can be done. And really, what alternative is there. Letting the brain heal itself through a completely natural process of discharging stored pain, is much better imo than creating new neurosis upon old through hypnotherapy and other band-aids.

Also I tend to lose consciousness for seconds at a time while my body vibrates and shakes, so I've learned the hard way to lie down on a mattress and have no place to hit my head (especially my big nose) on. No more meditation pose breathwork for me.

You're not breathing deeply enough. It really takes some force. Check that your belly and chest are both really expanding as much as possible. I've noticed in sessions that it's hard to get people to realise how deeply they actually need to breathe to get the full effects.

@Lincisman I appreciate you being vulnerable here. I can see that took courage. Yes, in short, you should start digging up shit from your past, when you're ready to live a better life. I've been an angry jealous villain for a good while, it just causes more pain and then leads you back to the path of looking inside. https://youtu.be/zXi_-8wssb4 https://youtu.be/qjG_4MSZDP0 https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/reclaiming-your-life-jean-c-jenson/1114262202 https://www.pujalepp.com Both people I linked here are excellent and you should buy the book and go to the retreat if you can afford to. It changed my life. Most things out there related to shadow work and self-therapy are watered-down BS.

That’s a doctor question.

@Tyler Robinson That's great. Keep looking until you find one that feels good. Don't settle for less! I'd avoid cold, analytical jerkoffs like in the video like the plague. I think my video is pretty good, but also this guy's videos about finding therapists are great. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWvK-EX6jMk His channel is a goldmine. Definitely check it out

Sounds like a rough time! You and your son will get through this together. The postpartum depression is caused by the hormonal shift between the pregnant and non-pregnant state. It can subconsciously remind the mother's body of the complications during her own birth. If you had complications when you were born, where you came close to death (very common actually), that would explain the "death feelings" rising up and causing thoughts of suicidality and killing your baby. Just remind yourself that it's old feelings messing with your present reality. They will calm down. If you were fine before pregnancy, you can be fine after. Medication can be helpful in the short term. It's best to have a therapist for the long term. Also, for managing these particular types of depression, exercise is really important, such as going for runs. Also touch helps to calm it down, so get as many cuddles as you can from your partner.

It would explain why I'm so easily depressed in winter, when the days get shorter. It definitely plays a role I'd say. Trauma also plays a role usually. But you shouldn't need to process all your trauma in order to not be depressed. That would take years. I suspect that vitamin D helps the trauma-repression system work better, so if you don't get enough of it, shit starts to come to the surface and mess with your mood. Of course, when that happens, it's much better to process a bit of trauma and feel good again, rather than stay depressed. I like to take it as an opportunity like that. Regardless, give your body what it needs! Mens sana in corpore sano.

@Starlight321 Just made a video (linked below) on what to look for in a therapist, you might want to check it out. Basically, if you can afford to pick your own therapist: find one that does regression sessions. Without hypnosis. Real tears about past hurt are what calms the system down and improves trauma symptoms long term. Mindfucking techniques like binaural beats and subliminals will just agitate you more. Additionally, for calming down, people get really good results with the "active meditations" from Osho, especially the Dynamic. Yoga is also great and easy to implement. I would definitely incorporate that.

Really good advice has been given by other ex-gamers above, and I'm not going to duplicate that, I agree with most of what's been said above. I'm just going to pick this thread to pull on: you say it's "all you've known since you were 8" That makes me think that you've had some emotional neglect from your parents. Why did you turn to excessive gaming at that age? Why did your parents let you do that, and not coach you towards including other activities that would make up a healthy life balance for a kid? (physical activities with friends, music, sports, etc) Did they provide enough emotional support, and listening without judgment? Did you freely talk to them about anything and everything that was troubling you? Or were there problems that you didn't feel safe discussing? Something to figure out with your therapist, I think there might be something there. Also watch my video linked below on what to look for in a therapist.

@Basman This. A really good beginner's exercise to calm down those thoughts, is doing parts work. Ignore Teal's mumbo-jumbo explanation and just pull up different chairs and give those thoughts a voice. The discomfort and restlessness comes from the fact that there's different, disagreeing streams of thought.

@Eternal Unity What an intense ride! That first kiss must be a treasured beautiful moment. I respect you for sharing your story.

I don't have experience with BPD in my personal life. My best friend is a therapist who works mainly with BPD type patients though. I will take the liberty of sharing why I think he said that. I think he's just referring to the tendency to overreact to abandonment triggers and do something drastic like suicide, or reckless like drive drunk and crash. Overall this clinical type view of BPD and similar disorders makes me sad. It's like they are taking as much distance as they can from it. Viewing them as aliens almost. To be inspected in a lab coat. I kind of get why. If you don't dehumanize them, you might find out you have more in common with them than you would like. "selfishness, ..." What the fuck dude. These people are in massive pain and you're going to diagnose them with selfishness? From my understanding, hearing and reading about these things, there's a direct correlation between BPD and growing up with an emotionally immature, abusive parent. Usually the mother is an unsafe character that they can not form a healthy attachment with. They had to be afraid of the mother's mood swings. Nowhere to turn for safety and nurture. And then still psychiatrists want to put them in a box and say "something's inherently wrong with you", and give them very superficial therapy like DBT. It's a travesty.

Well, only you can find out what it is, but you could start by identifying the feelings that you feel instead of motivation, and inquiring: is it familiar? When have I felt this way before? And when else? Etc. It maybe comes across a bit weird, because your problem statement was initially "lack of motivation", and now I'm asking you to view it as "some unidentified feeling on top of my motivation".

@onacloudynight At this point you're just venting and making lots of threads about nothing. I haven't seen you take anyone's advice seriously. This is a self-improvement forum. You're going through a rough patch and letting everyone know it. We heard you. Now do something about it.

That's very insightful and I appreciate the self reflection. There's actually a lot of self help in the niche of getting motivated (Tony Robbins). A dear friend of mine flew all the way from the Netherlands to New York in order to attend Tony Robbins for a 5 day seminar. He got crazy motivated. Back home, it was all gone within days. My opinion is that people get motivation completely wrong. Being motivated is a natural state. Babies come out of the womb motivated. Children have tons of energy which they need to let out by running after each other. And they naturally get curious about stuff. If their parents encourage and support that curiosity, and they have a happy childhood and adolescence, they will keep that motivation forever. If something happens early on where someone learns: "I can't pursue my natural interest, I have to do something else." That's when motivation gets blocked. Or, more commonly, when the childhood is not so happy and there's a feeling of "Whatever I do, it won't work out anyway". Motivation gets blocked. Motivation is not something you acquire, rather you remove whatever shit is blocking the motivation that's already there. That could mean, becoming more honest and realising that on some level, you don't want to do it, you want to do something else. Or it could mean introspecting and realising that some feeling is in the way of it. Hopelessness maybe, fear of failure, fear of success, lack of trust. A sense of being stuck. Or a false belief that what you really want has to wait, or is not possible. Lack of agency, of control over one's life. I'm just naming random examples. Whatever it is, as long as you breathe, you will have plenty of natural motivation underneath all that shit.

Updated my post to include more tips. @Federico del pueblo I guess so