flowboy

@actually this is a shame trigger. I've got a guided release for that. Takes about 20min. Do it 3 times on different days, then see whether you still react the same way. Yes, it's rooted in childhood trauma. When she doesn't respond in a way that you want, you make that mean something about you unconsciously, which is intolerable. You don't want to be this. You don't want to feel this. What is it? What is the feeling exactly, where is it in the body, what emotions arise? Where have you felt it before? And before that? And before that? And before that? If the shadow work sequence above doesn't do the trick, I'd recommend doing some self-regression to permanently get rid of it. Tracing it back to older situations will already help to not overreact in the present.

@Romer02 Forgot to say: in the end I learnt that I work better within boundaries, anyway. I'm never going to be productive 100% of my available time. When I clearly define which 70% I use, I work harder within that time because I know it's all I have.

That's not what I said, I hope you didn't interpret my comment that way. You're not hurting anyone by not having kids. That would be absurd. I was rather making a more feeling based point: that you seem to be a bit overly cold and logical, just like Leo, and you may miss out on the best things in life that way. It can help to interact with children, to get a sense of how it would be like, and how they can also inspire and motivate you in an entirely different way. Do you have nephews you can babysit?

Well said.

Yeah I’ve been there. I’ve had to learn to set very clear boundaries and time boxes for when I work, and then stick to them. If I work on my coaching group on Friday, I’m not going to make plans with my girlfriend on Friday. She can expect me to come home early but I won’t. Sticking to it is still hard sometimes, but a good lesson in how others will stay within boundaries only to the extent that you yourself respect them.

Spot on

You forgot about this. I recommend you do this right away and then lean back. Suddenly expecting the dynamic to change without any notice could just be perceived by his half-asleep brain as your lack of interest

4-aco-DMT is the closest thing to psilocybin that’s available and yes you can plug that, but come on… how hilarious is it to plug whole shrooms

I’ve heard of it being a theoretical possibility, yes. But I wouldn’t try it. Even plugging them sounds better to me

@aklacor727 well that’s what my advice was based on, that you already have this ‘buddy’ dynamic that feels safe and comfortable but you don’t feel pursued in. So now to turn that around I think it’s best to say it explicitly but in a feminine way. Just tel him that you appreciate how he can take charge (even if he doesn’t yet - what you appreciate grows), and that would really turn you on if he would completely make the date happen from beginning to end. And stop beating him at games, instead let him teach you things. Don’t initiate a date, just hint at it and let him pull the trigger. Practice surrender and letting go into someone’s leadership, even if it doesn’t seem like much at first. Men need to feel that they are trusted, it energises them and awakens their leadership automatically.

Source/rationale?? Antioxidants are in vegetables - are you saying most people don't eat vegetables? Because they do. So have you looked up the concentration of the most common antioxidants in vegetables and averaged it over most vegetables somehow? Then compared that to coffee, multiplied by the average daily dose? For all of those different antioxidants? I'd like to see that calculation. The most important antioxidant we need is vitamin C - that's not in coffee. It's in vegetables. Coffee is what people drink because it gets them high, helps them focus, and compensates for bad sleep discipline. Not for health reasons - that's absurd.

Just do it and only consume information when you get stuck. Models - Mark Manson is a good book to read on how to set your life up in a way that gets you girls.

Neurotic struggle hypothesis: You already know he's not going to give you the behavior you want from him - that's why you picked him. If you really wanted to be pursued, you wouldn't have asked him that day, you would have waited and let him come through or not. You're into him because you can try to change him into someone who actively chooses and pursues you. Not because he actually is. Was your father a bit like that? Passive? Did you have to initiate/work for his attention/love a bit more than you would've liked?

@aklacor727 Have you already taken the lead too much from the start? The practical advice I have is say: "I need to feel like a lady and so i want you to take initiative for our dates. Can you handle that?" And then just never again fill it in for him. Actually wait and don't call or text him anymore if he drops the ball. if my hypothesis below is right, you'll find it difficult to actually do that and let him fail. But if you really want what you say you want, that's what you have to do. Just say things like "so where are you taking me?" if you absolutely must - don't come up with initiatives and date ideas until he starts showing some. And be prepared to actually drop it. It's very possible that this guy needs to have the experience of women losing interest over his passivity, many times over perhaps, before he learns.

@F A B And you're happy doing that until you're 70? Basically doing what you're told 40 hours a week, that is what your life will be about? Maybe have some fun in the 3-5 weeks of vacation you're allowed per year? I would rather die than do as I'm told for most of my life, because I have a desire for a profound life and a unique expression of myself. But that's just me

For the same reason Primal Therapy was "discredited" Something that's too good to be true (can help with many different mental problems) and also makes people independent from pharmaceutical drugs they have to take every day, wherein there is much more money to be made, can not easily anchor itself in society. Society has success barriers and ego backlashes just like individuals do. Also, psychedelics make you question authority and think for yourself - not exactly something that "the system" wants you to do. But "the system" is not any sort of elites - rather it's just the unthinking masses. There's no ultra rich people trying to keep people stupid - 99% of the 99% are stupid enough to do that all for themselves (make bad food choices, being close minded, rejecting things that could help them because they don't understand it), and they will try to make everyone else do that too, like crabs in a bucket. The masses will drag you down. The masses will be scared of enlightenment, psychedelic therapy and primal therapy, and demonize it, and vote to ban it. Your evil elite doesn't exist - it's just stupid people with no self control, and mid-level corporate people trying to make a buck by playing into that. The closest thing you have to an evil elite, is Coca Cola paying schools to put vending machines there, so the kids get hooked on caffeine and sugar young, and Big Tobacco paying off government to keep cigarettes legal, things like that. It's just corruption. It's evil, yes, but it's not a master plan to keep you stupid. Just a plan to make money in an unconscious way.

@Chives99 No

Yes, but for how long? Invariably, the magic doesn't last because people run out of serotonin reserves. That creates chemical depression. You can hope and bet your life on being an exception to the rule, that's up to you. I think it's foolish and you should switch it up, use LSD for a while, which doesn't deplete you, and only take MDMA every 2-3 months.

Well said.

@A_v_E I was making a point that clearly went over your head. Takes some emotional maturity. This nondualityism is not helping anyone, you're just repeating what the guru said.

What? Stop over-intellectualizing. Go after what you want and risk getting hurt. Then move on.

Did you do any research at all? Depleting your serotonin multiple times in a short time can lead to severe chemical depression - the inability to feel "fine" for a loooong time.

Awesome quote I don't think a daily weed habit is helping anyone. It certainly didn't help me. Even when Leo experiments with it, he doesn't make it a habit.

Imagine your dad asked his people whether creating you would be helpful to his self-actualization and spiritual awakening or not. So self-centered, right? Children are helpful to get out of self-centeredness.

That's tough! Sorry to hear. If she's like that, chances are you have other colleagues who consider her a problematic person, and would back you up if it came to her story versus yours, right? She's projecting something onto you. Some "type of person" she hates for some reason, she got hurt in the past, it got twisted, now she hates a certain category of people, which only exists in her mind. You're projecting something onto her. A past situation that felt unsafe, with yelling or aggression. Perhaps being bullied, perhaps an unpredictable parent. I'm not saying I would handle this perfectly. But here is what I think you have to do: Get out of her category. Get her in a one-on-one chat. Don't frame it as "resolving our differences", don't address the problems between you at all. Talk until you find some commonalities. It doesn't have to be much. If she likes cats and you like cats, now you're already not that "type of person" in her mind anymore. It's going to cause cognitive dissonance. Because her category is a storage bin for everything "other" to her. Everything she doesn't like. Her shadow. In order to get her to have coffee with you or whatever, I think you have to be so nice and socially correct that it would be socially unacceptable to say no. Be a bit persistent. Worst case, she'll avoid interacting with you at all, because you annoyed her with your friendship.