flowboy

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Everything posted by flowboy

  1. I was planning on going out and doing pickup, so I got some background anxiety 5 hours ago, started laying on the couch watching JRE, and now I'm going to bed. Because I'm a pussy. I guess.
  2. Why am I SO afraid to go out? I don't want to be confronted with how much I suck I don't want to feel like a weird creepy person without social skills I don't want to meet a cute girl, then shoot myself in the foot and later have that regret I'm afraid to find out that I'll never be any good at pickup I'm also just plain lazy and would rather get some sound sleep All these f**king excuses. But where does it end? How much time do I have to put in, to feel good about my progress? I have no one to do this together with. My close friends are all in serious relationship mode, buying houses, getting married. I thought I would meet people to go out with. Maybe in the future still. I used to believe that I just had some wild oats to sow. Now I've slept with at least 30 women in my life. That's nothing. It feels like nothing. And something tells me that it's going to feel the exact same when the number is 200. So what am I doing this for? Not to reach a certain high score. Pretty sure that in itself won't make me a better human. Or any different at all. My friend has banged at least 100 women. His life is not very together. He can't go to a bar and just talk to girls. I want the freedom to just be able to talk to any girl and have a reasonable chance of it going well. That's what I want. It's a part of expressing myself authentically. When you see an attractive person, the natural thing is to GO. Go meet them. Instead, many of us are conditioned to do the opposite, and shy away. And then we get weird around them. Is it just me? Gotta start loving the process... Number of women approached in 2019 : 1 Meditation time put in : 2h10m Days without smoking : 7 Speeches given : 1 Days without alcohol : 7 Days without coffee : 7 Days without grains, sugar and dairy: 6
  3. I see my message hasn't quite 'landed' with you. That's alright. Maybe someday it will. Peace, brother!
  4. You may not be aware of this, but it can easily rub people the wrong way when you imply that their problems are not that bad. Also you're giving a lot of unsolicited advice in one message, and in a not-so-humble way. We can easily overwhelm people in this way. I know, because I have fallen in the same trap many times. The struggle of overcoming a problem of this caliber required us to get so passionate, that we can't help but enthusiastically preach our hard-earned wisdom to others. A friend and co-worker, R, taught me this painful lesson awhile ago when he was talking about his anxiety to talk to his attractive neighbour. I personally have struggled and made an ass of myself for many years trying to get out of my comfort zone and learn to talk to strangers, so I was immediately in advice mode. I started pointing out his limiting beliefs, and sharing my lessons. Then he taught me the phrase: "Don't be a problem stealer". I was confused. I thought I was helping. Actually, I was projecting. Everyone's personality, life experience, inner world and situation are different. We all need to walk our own road to freedom. R taught me that day, that by unsolicitedly giving people solutions to their problems, you basically invalidate their personal struggle (that they have invested a lot of time in), implying it wasn't necessary because "look, just do this". Thereby making the other feel like an idiot. A long lasting struggle like that will become part of someone's identity, so if we try to just yank it away in one go, we expect the other to let go of a huge part of their ego, just because we told them to. I know I'm projecting here, as well. Just wanted to share this bit of wisdom because I really appreciated it when I got it. That said, I commend you for sharing what worked for you, and describing it in such detail, and in such an actionable way. The topic starter will probably have some valuable insights and tips, thanks to you! And I think it's a really good and important thing overall, what we do here. Sharing our hard-earned wisdom with each other so our path to freedom may be smoother!