flowboy

@cetus56 This is just one exercise, taking up a couple hours within a 6 day programme. It is a retreat. I really do like everything else. And I was fine with this too, but now that I've read up, I don't know what to think of it.

I understand that...I think And actually indeed the first time I did the exercise in blissful ignorance, it went fine. It's just that I've read that forceful techniques are dangerous and bad, since. Great to hear Hope so too!

@Martin123 What do you mean to say by that?

Watch your ego here taking the position of the teacher.

I know. But if the man gets more attached and clingy than the woman, brace yourself... He will be punished

This is so similar to the inner dialogue I had when I took a large dose of shrooms! I am everything. Everything is perfect and I made it perfectly. But I am alone, playing puppets with myself... @Nicachi Maybe this will help contextualise:

@remember Because if you have expectations, can't let go in the moment, or get clingy/overly attached and lose your center, typically women will immediately stop being attracted to you and want to run away, or keep you as a very distant 'friend'. It's nature's way of telling you to stay centered as a man

@SQAAD Another attempt to be helpful here: what about transcending the attachment and clinging that you get after sex? In my experience, this is very doable. Certainly easier than your original plan. Just have sex from time to time and learn to let go right after. Actually women will teach you this, it's in their nature.

Well I know it's not easy. I kept a poem I wrote for her, and a blanket I had printed with many photos of us together, also with the poem on it. I kept that for a year and had to ask my parents to throw it out for me, I couldn't do it myself.

I've listened to it. I liked it. Actually, come to think of it, I am still getting benefits from it. Ever since that book introduced the concepts of resonance and pendulums, I see that stuff everywhere and I find it a nice model for navigating life.

I deal with this problem regularly. My two cents: Clear your desk of everything, EVERYTHING that you don't need for the task at hand. Close all tabs and windows on computer that you are not using. When looking something up, close immediately after. Timebox. Set an alarm. Make a deal with yourself that you won't get up from your seat until the time is up. Only exceptions are pee breaks and getting tea or something. Only eat things that you can eat while working, like fruit. Get noise cancelling headphones Play binaural beats for concentration, or thunder storm noises! Turn phone off. Yes, completely off and put it in another room.

It doesn't seem to be based on an actual market need. What market research did you do before you built the prototype? Have you met people who wish they could start insta-mac and cheese from their phone? Besides friends and family? The video doesn't inspire confidence. If you can't demonstrate that it works well, don't demonstrate.

What is a fool? Contemplate what it means for you to make a fool of oneself. For me personally, it is nothing but projections of my own fears of being judged/not being accepted/shunned. I believe it is normal to have those fears. Which explains why your brother triggers most people, as you say. In recent months I haven't really been fearful of being judged, at all anymore. It's been a long process of multiple years, freeing myself from that. And I can't remember the last time I ever felt embarassed for someone else. So I agree with your hypothesis that it is just a trigger based on a projected fear/insecurity. Reminds me of what my friend said at this festival. She had seen a large woman with big floppy sagging breasts proudly walking around half naked. She commented: "I wouldn't do that, if I looked like that. I think it is very brave." But her tits are perfect (probably) and she still won't go skinny dipping with the rest. Because she has that fear, and the fat woman is free. To me, the inner dialogue of second hand embarassment goes something like this: "Oh man, I wish I could jump around and shout like that. That felt great to do when I was a kid. But last time I did that, people reprimanded me and pushed their own judgments and fears onto me, and made me feel shame. And now I'm scared to do it again. I wish I were that free"

@Lubomir Congratulations! I bet that wasn't easy, and I have a lot of respect for how you handled that. When I was in that situation, I didn't have the strength to say no until I was thoroughly humiliated by her cheating many times. It will only be more sunny from here Not good enough. Burn them or trash them. Trust me. I would delete her number and social media too. It's not forever, but important for you in this moment. You can reconnect with her in a year, when you both have grown.

Alright. If you are truly not doing it out of lack, then of course you can be happy as a celibate! Why even ask? All you need is a big Why. A reason of existence, a life purpose that is way more grand and important and satisfying than getting laid. Find that and you're there.

@bejapuskas I think that a negative experience that you learned from provides a valuable perspective for others. This particular case doesn't seem manipulative to me at all.

@bejapuskas You assume that people are logically consistent, and so if they make two conflicting statements then one of them must be a lie. This is false. People simply express what they feel at a certain time. And if it is what they really feel, then it is honest. Even though they really felt something else a few days before.

Why? You are good at drawing. You should spend all your energy to start selling your art, in my opinion. Especially if you still live at home. I tried and did not. Not maybe two. Just one! You can pivot later if you want. This reminds me a bit of the life story of the creator of the Big Lez Show. He already felt his life purpose in his heart. No need for distractions of school. He just started creating. If you wanna check that story out, this is a nice interview: Oh my god dude. The level of misplaced guilt is just insane here. Who in your environment is making you feel guilty for wanting to do what makes you happy? Probably some mix of parents, school and society. Really dig deep and get rid of that shit. This is crucial for your mental health. Or do you want to deprive the world of your art, your deepest gift, just so you can be normal and have your current social circle and family approve of you? Toxic path to go down. Because let me tell you one thing: I used to desperately believe I could do it all. Bit of guitar, bit of sports, some studying, some working, some singing lessons. I am now 26 and have realised that you only get to do one thing well, per phase of your life. The sooner you go through the pain of choosing that one thing, the better. Don't be like me and waste 9 years trying to do multiple passions at once. What will it be? What is your deepest gift, that you must give to the world? As David Deida would say.

@Sari Negative visualisation. Really picture staying with her. Not doing what you want with your life. Always wondering what it would have been like to change your major. Always having that gnawing feeling that you compromised your life purpose because you didn't have faith in the Universe to provide you with the right partner, so you clung to the wrong one. Not long after, you will start to resent her for it and only see her flaws. She will be critical of you meditating and having a healthy diet. You have a history of giving in to her out of fear, so you give up meditating and diet. You resent her even more. You criticize and pick on each other a lot. These tensions call for a change in the relationship: she's in a rush to have a child, so she'll make sure she gets pregnant soon. You go along with it, convincing yourself that that will make you happy because she will be more happy. This child will take up all of both your energy, so you will become extremely tired and stressed. This will magnify your differences and you will hate each other. You will stop having sex. She won't even kiss you on the cheek or cuddle you anymore. You feel like your balls have been taken from you, and she makes you feel like you don't deserve anything, every day of your life. Eventually you will have to forget who you wanted to be, because it's too painful. Now you're just a depressed dad, trapped in a sexless loveless relationship. You won't be able to hide your problems from your child, and your child will have to grow up in a dysfunctional relationship, with parents who resent each other. Because of that, when your son or daughter grows up, he/she will have self esteem issues and won't be able to have a healthy relationship in her life. It will take her at least 30 years to figure out that that is actually your fault, because her parents shouldn't have stayed together. And now her life is fucked, too, because she never had a good example of a happy, flowing relationship. Spend some time with that picture. Visualise it for half an hour a day for the coming month. Still miss her? I'm not even exaggerating. This is actually how that shit goes.

@Cocolove Actually I don't think his post was serious at all. If you look closely, he inserted a spam link in the quote, because he gets points for that or something. I think that was the whole point.

@SQAAD I'm sorry, I must be confused. I thought you wanted people's input. But then you argue with the responses you get, if they tell you what you don't want to hear. So clearly, you're here because you want us to help you convince yourself that you can spiritually bypass sex, and get rid of the desire so that you don't have to do the hard work of working through your issues. Sorry, not how it works.

Hi everyone, I'm a software engineer by day and an independent (hobbyist) app developer by night... which means a pretty busy schedule that doesn't involve being around hot girls. Or any. It's really a miracle that I'm not a virgin. The thing is, trying to cram some hours of going out to meet women, while perpetually underslept and stuck in my head thinking about work, is really swimming upstream. I'm very jealous of people that have always worked in nightlife and are therefore always around lots of girls, so they have huge dating advantages. I feel pretty angry that my trade (seemingly) doesn't involve meeting women. Do you guys have any ideas? Is there a type of programmer I could be that his job requires him to meet lots of people? Is there a well-paid gig that maybe related that I could try? I'm looking for ideas.

I do, although I also do plenty of programming in my free time, and I've outgrown the environment where I work now so I'm open to a change. I'm quite underpaid, actually. Less than what I make now would not work. I suppose it would be hard to concentrate and do my work well. Female distraction would be everywhere. I've been playing with the idea of a job/business that actually requires me to cold-approach hot girls. That would be cool, so I could work through my fears and get experience while earning a living.

See, this is what we need more of! Thinking in possibilities rather than negatives! Sometimes to come up with a cool new idea, we need to ask the questions again that most people would consider case closed. Thank you for contributing a next step. Art gallery... Interesting... I could work with that maybe!

@JonasVE12 Again you spit your game ideology at me without really listening/reading what I said. This is a sticking point people also often have with women I'm all for cold approach my friend. You're preaching to the choir. Thing is I can't do it that much right now because I spend all my free time on a project that could take years and is important to me. Hence this topic, inviting people to brainstorm ideas See, I am not looking for female coworkers to hit on, because I'm not a dumbass. Frankly I'm a bit offended that that is what you gather from what I wrote. Nightlife people get a lot of exposure and interaction time with hot girls. And while on the job. And not their coworkers. Which is why I named that example.