iamnotahumanbeing

As I write, I’m at the very end of a four day trip I took to spend some time with myself in the country. This wasn’t as hardcore as Leo’s solo meditation retreats are, as I did need to set a few hours aside per day to work, and I only meditated for two hours each day. Amongst this, was contemplation and Leo videos. Day 1 and 2 was enjoyable and pretty jam-packed with some good meditation and Leo content (I did ‘What is god? Part 1’, amongst others). On day 3, however, it was all over. No longer could I access any sort of ‘spiritual thinking’. I observed my mind become very sceptical, as it rebutted anything spiritual, with rational thought adhering very much to the materialist paradigm. It was like, all of a sudden, all my spiritual personal development had been taken away, and suddenly I was an ignorant idiot that couldn’t understand anything other than what was perceived by basic human senses. It felt like an actual regression rather than a lack of progress. My mind couldn’t fathom there being anything other than the material physical world - something I’ve not had troubles with in the past. Is this ego backlash? Has anyone else experienced this before? Is this normal, not normal? Will my awareness come back? (Okay, there are several questions here, but feel free to answer just one )

Would anyone mind shedding some light on how to obtain such a thing? I’m surprised how popular this thread is... perhaps I am missing something .

@nullabor @dao Sydney too!

@pluto thanks!

Is anyone disputing that?

... and also when he stopped using his face on the thumbnails of each video.

There is no inherent value, good or bad, in what she has done. That is to say that at its core, what you are are going through is meaningless. The value, and in this case the suffering of negative emotions, stems from and starts from within you. This can be an empowering realisation because you learn that you are in complete control of what you are feeling. ... in theory. Easier said than done. All the best.

If God is non-dual, how come anything? Perception.

@Setty , what were these hindrances?

Thanks @Cameron. My experiences have been similar to yours , particularly being able to understand Leo's topics on deeper levels. It's encouraging to hear you say it's pale in comparison to mushrooms, LSD and DMT - maybe one day I'll be able to

I watched an old video of his the other day and was struck by how different his style of communication was compared to what it is now.

Thanks @Leo Gura - unfortunately here in Australia, BB guns are all I can find.

So is tea still better even though it has caffeine in it?

I would say so, too. One of the best things I have developed through my personal development journey is a sense of detachment. This doesn't mean I am a zombie, it means that I have a choice in the things that I allow myself to be affected by (positive and negative).

@AlphaAbundance , maybe it's 'love of life' instead of 'fear of death'.

I've always thought of meditation to be both passive and active at the same time, something that can't really be said of pure concentration or pure relaxation.

If you drop all desire, this then forms part of your personality. As such, the profile of a suitable partner will change. Watch Leo's The Counter-Intuitive Nature Of Life. He touches on this very topic, and will shed some light on the limitations of your current thinking. You're already intuitively perceiving this: Though, the goal isn't to get girls, it's to detach from needing to get girls. I think it's insightful of you to have realised that a lot of your pleasure has actually been a lot of your pain.

@Manjushri , it seems you have broken out of your once familiar modus operandi (living as though everything you do must have a purpose) and now that you have transcended this way of thinking, you find yourself so free that you are lost. Your mission now is to find a new modus operandi. It appears that this is your primary struggle at the moment because ironically, it seems you might be searching for meaning using the familiar frameworks you have outgrown. Before, who deemed a thing to be purposeful? Did that judgment come from within you or did it come from others? Maybe it's time to look within you and find what you think is of value to you. I'd say you were still in peak experience (when you posted) and many questions have now answered themselves.