rNOW

Writing this as a 33 year old: Never done parties, drugs, or alcohol, not out of reverence for spirituality or morality, but because I had different interests. Twenties went in being depressed and one failed relationship. I've had moments where I used to feel I'm missing out in life, but here's the truth when it finally struck- you cannot miss out from your own life. You can only miss out from what an average person defines as life. Your life is your definition. Same about success, relationships, careers, etc. Set your own definitions, and change them when it doesn't suit you anymore. Nothing is boxed in life. You're never too late for it, nor too early. Now when I meet my friends, which is very rare, most of them are married, have a stable career, kids, etc, I sense I'm lagging behind. Or am I? How can I miss the life I do not want? I have great health, peace of mind (mostly), and I'm in love with the way I live. A lot of people laugh at me, make sarcastic comments, and so on. So? That's the life they choose. Do I regret my 20s? Nope. I used to regret them when I was not aware where it was leading me. When you realize the purpose your regrets serve you, they cease to be regrets anymore and become reflections instead. You might have heard the saying, "People regret things they didn't do more than the things they did." I find this very incomplete and untrue. I find people regret things that they did or did not do 'in fear'. So missing out is 'fear'. Try not to do anything out of fear. Choose love and truth instead, whatever it may be for you.

I work in a creative field. Coffee is useful to meet deadlines, in keeping myself forcefully awake beyond normal human waking capability. I've been awake 6 days straight once- do not recommend. Coffee also makes me highly anxious and jittery. So I have tea instead. Tea is calming and soothing. My best ideas come when I'm relaxed not when I'm hunting for ideas or trying to meet deadlines. So then I decided to keep coffee for rare occasions. When I think of people who are extremely creative, I can only think of kids or adults who have learned to remain kids. Ever seen a kid need coffee to be creative? I think the most important thing for creativity is to lose your mind (mental chatter, judgments of right and wrong, good and bad, etc.)

I have this persistent acne problem since years. Saw doctors and took medicines, nothing. One thing is clear though. I once went without sugar for 3 months. the acne disappeared. Here's my personal list of what causes me acne: 1. Sugar - processed white sugar or any products containing it. Brown sugar or unprocessed sugar in limited amounts doesn't. 2. Cold milk or cream of any kind. Warm unsweetened milk in small quantity doesn't. 3. Very spicy packaged snacks. Homemade spicy food doesn't cause acne. 4. Anything with preservatives. So I try to avoid all the four.

- A physiotherapist can suggest proper exercises. Do them for the rest of your life. - If you are still working on the computer, use a high back chair so your neck and head have full support. - Make sure the center of the computer screen is at your eye level. Check out basic ergonomics for using a computer.

I'm looking for business book recommendations specifically aimed at artists, designers, musicians, or anyone in a creative field. A lot of business books I find are largely written by people who have built large companies and even though there are lessons to be learned from that, I do not relate to it. Would appreciate any books/blogs or videos by other creatives who talk about business side of things. Also any books/stories about combining two or more distinct passions into a unique life story. Thanks much!

BOOKS: 1. The art of communicating- by Thich Nhat Hanh 2. Difficult conversations: Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone

Hypothetically, if your were moving to an island to live alone for a few years, and you were allowed to carry only one book with you, which book would you choose and why?

I'm not sure of scientific data. I follow my experience. I drink tea/coffee without milk or sugar. And I had problems falling asleep for years. I was addicted to green tea, used to drink about a litre of it a day. Now down to maybe 300-400 ml. And stopped drinking it in the evenings. Black coffee raises my anxiety now, I get jittery and irritated and annoyed with minute things. So I avoid it. Tea I find calming. And I try not to drink it out of habit.

Does anyone experience this kind of conversations in your head without chemicals? From my own experience, into over 2 years of rigorous journaling, I often find answers to my questions in a voice that that isn't my own. Sure it comes from my head, I write it down with my own hands, but it is weird and I can tell that some of it isn't in my own knowledge. This voice or whatever it is, has accurately predicted my grandfather's death, times of someone going or coming and other minor things. However, it doesn't answer questions that don't relate to my life and people in my life. I'm not sure why. It goes blank when I ask something regarding people I do not know or have little to do with. Also recently the voice has been up and clear even when I'm not writing in my journal, but just in general. The thing that is required is for my mind to be completely calm and present in whatever I'm doing. I like to paint, but most of my art is usually repetitive from something I've done or seen before and this time I decided to 'ask' this voice to help me draw. The paintings that followed are really abstract and pretty, but make no sense to me. But I can clearly state where my mind interfered with this voice and that's what blotched the paintings. I don't claim to know what this voice is: I've asked it, and the reply was, "Why do you want to know? Focus on what matters." Once I asked "How many people/voices are these?", as they tend to keep changing from singular to plural and different tones. The reply was, "This is beyond your understanding. You will know when you are ready."

Read this somewhere - it's like everyone is a toddler. Toddlers love playing with toys, but as they grow. they outgrow those toys as and when they find better ones. So if you find something more interesting than 'looks', you automatically lose interest in 'looks'. I believe a high-consciousness person doesn't care about how they look, but they do care about their health, and that is automatically reflected in their looks, lifestyle and clothing choices.

@Phoenixx Yeah, you may be right, it usually when I'm exhausted, but I'm not sure if it's a lucid dream? I am not aware that I'm dreaming. I am aware that I'm 'awake'. I've tried thinking of people, places or things, and I don't get magically transferred there. Also I don't see any random things or lights or entities. I just see prominent things in my room and the ceiling, not even the details. The timing of the day is messed up and I cannot say what time of the day it is, l usually very different when I wake up. I'm also sure that my eyes are closed as I like to cover my eyes to get pitch blackness when I rest. The only difference I can say between thoughts/imagination/dreams and this type of vision is that the thoughts/imagination/dreams seem to occur at the back of my head (physically) and this visual thing is right in front of my eyes, like 1 mm from my forehead.

Okay I apologize for this title. But I'm not sure how else to phrase it. Have you ever been in a phase where everything you do matters, and doesn't matter both at the same time? This has been on my mind for a few days now and it needs some clarity. So there seems to be some shift in my value system, and the tasks that I used to put off, and the tasks that I used to look forward to, both have become leveled somehow. I'm not sure if this is a form of non-reactiveness or numbness to situations. It doesn't feel bad to be in this mode, but it doesn't feel good either. It is more or less 'bland'. I used to be highly sensitive earlier, sad things used to make me cry, now it doesn't. Sure I'm sad, but it's 'okay-sad' and 'okay-happy' when I'm happy. It's like my expression of my emotions have gone down. Also I seem to have no real goals in life now. I do have short term goals, or personal development goals or even an idea of the direction I want my life to go. But I'm fine if it doesn't go that way; either-way, I'm fine if I die tomorrow. More like I've lost the willingness to 'struggle' and it doesn't 'feel like a struggle'- both at the same time. (I'm not depressed. I've known that state up closely years ago, this is different.) This has come about a year after I had a fall-out with someone I used to be close with. I found myself being very resentful towards this person, and so I started observing my resentments and wishing them well instead whenever I encountered them. This said person often lies and manipulates people around them and it used to bother me a lot, especially when someone else was their 'victim'. However, now I feel it's not my battle to pick and it doesn't bother me anymore. I've learned to practice being non-reactive around this person. Is this what is spilling around in other areas of my life even where this person is not concerned or is it numbness? Because I do not want to become insensitive to everything and I've been in that phase before, but this time it seems more 'final' that I cannot seem to want to go back. Anyone with the similar experiences or have some insights?

@Yog Sorry for the delay. Here's the video I was talking about- It has a small exercise in the beginning. Though I tried the exercise after watching this video when I was extremely exhausted. Possibly my experience has to do much with exhaustion as my mind is on very low capacity to think, and it doesn't really work when I am not exhausted. I believe could be OBE, I don't know, but I am still facing the same things I am facing when I am laying down. So I'm not really flying about, except it happened once. Even I can confirm with the blindfold, these visions, specifically come about when I have my eyes covered and not when they are easy to open and they flutter a lot before I can start 'seeing' the surroundings.

@Truth Addict Thanks, yeah possibly, it has been a few days and I seem to be going back to getting sucked in the emotional drama around me, but maybe it comes in phases.

I've learned that everything I've learned needs to be unlearned and relearned over and over again.

Sleep on a firm sponge pillow. Don't sleep without a pillow and don't sleep on too large or fluffy pillows. The pillow should be the exact thickness that is the gap between your head and your back when you are standing upright. It's 1.5- 2 inches at most. Sleep on the back and if you need to sleep sideways, then you need to add extra pillow because now the gap is increased. However, try to use firm material and not fluffy ones. (I couldn't find an appropriate pillow in the market, so I just bought a piece of sponge with right density, cut it to size and put it in a pillow cover). I know a few exercise that my physiotherapist taught me when I suffered the neck ache. But you may need to consult a qualified physiotherapist to recommend which ones are for you. My physiotherapist also mentioned that eating too much of fermented food causes spasms. So avoid that and drink hot/ lukewarm water instead of cold beverages. Also avoid chickpeas, kidney beans and other 'hard to digest' foods.

Gee I could see my room with my eyes closed, but it is usually when I'm in a sleep-paralysis and about to wake up. It looks slightly different, but I can see the main things. And then there's a realization that my eyes are closed and I freak out and wake up. Didn't know this was something related to third eye. I don't think I can control it though. It seems like some form of sleep-state. Wrote about it here:

Yes. However, it isn't really a 'habit', but it does look like one. I say that cause it isn't a consciously chosen one. I eat whatever I feel like eating in the moment. BUT: I mostly feel like eating healthy food. I no longer crave sugar or junk food. I don't resist it, if I need to, I eat ice-creams, chocolates, everything. Just, it's very rare. So called 'habits': 1. I've had the same breakfast everyday for the past 2.5 years- fruits, dry-fruits and green tea. The contents vary depending on availability and seasonal varieties. 2. Intermittent fasting: My first meal is around 10 AM. My second and last meal is at 2 PM. I have black tea or black coffee after that and if I get hungry, have some peanuts or dry fruits around 5-6PM. My only cooked meal is lunch. It is mostly rice dishes with vegetables and pulses. I cook everyday, no cheat days because I do not feel like cheating. Outside food makes me lethargic, and there's nobody to cook for me. I do eat out sometimes with friends or family - more like 3-4 times a year. As you can imagine, I've lost some of my 'foodie' friends 3. Read and watch 'nutritional' stuff. I no longer watch news or tv shows. The most important news will find a way to me somehow, so avoid 'fear' and 'scarcity' induced content. Eating right also involves feeding your mind well. This again wasn't a conscious decision. I just started feeling good about myself and didn't feel like consuming news or social media. How I arrived here: Lots of journalling, shedding tears and sweat, exercising and reading.

Thanks. Yeah I get that this is like trying to explain colour to the blind, but I'm still curious. So there's no chooser nor the chosen, so who or what is reading this or replying to this as opposed to doing something else? Is it as natural as a heart beating without any conscious input? Or is it that you automatically focus on what is in front of you? If there are 10 physical objects in front of you, where does your focus go first? Or is it all in focus at the same time? I'm wondering if this is similar to my personal experience in terms of food. After some 3-4 years of jounalling, reading, exercising, etc. I started feeling really good about myself and I found that I've lost most of my cravings. I 'feel nothing' when sugary foods I craved earlier are lain in front of me. Also I just stopped feeling hungry in the evenings. It's not really my 'decision' to resist hunger or sugar, but it just happens. I also started eating certain foods I despised earlier. I also noticed that I don't really have a 'like' or 'dislike' when it comes to food anymore. They keep varying everyday depending on the weather. However, this for me, is limited to food. Also, thank you for this thread and sharing your time.

Do you find it difficult to judge things now, given that your experience is that of no separation between anything? How do you decide on a 'value' of something for practical purposes? How do you make choices - based on what reference? Do you consider 'future' in some decisions? If yes, how? And turning the question around: Is it possible for us 'unenlightened' persons to look at things with utter equanimity given that we have no direct experience of it?

So I usually sense things that are not right for me - food, things, people, situations. However, that maybe just my brain warning me in my gut. This is usually pronounced for negative situations and there's no such 'butterflies in the stomach' for any positive situations. This is how fear operates, I suppose. It maybe 'instincts' more than intuition. Recently, though, I've had certain interactions with some people, that have left both them and myself wondering about what the heck is this. Example: On a hot summer day, I made a cold drink for my dad. He took the glass and sat down across me and I just blurted out, "If you want, I can make some for your friends tomorrow." (They play bridge out in a garden everyday, even in the sweltering heat). And he looked amused and asked, "How did you know what I was thinking? I was about to ask you to make some of this for my friends." Like honestly? I did not know. I just asked. It wasn't at all a consciously crafted question. It doesn't happen with all people though sometimes I know who is going to call when. (Mostly, given my circle is quite small). Is this intuition? For I have no control over it and it just happens. And there is no 'fear' sensation in the gut. Or any sensation anywhere. There's a third thing that's quite new for me. Usually I would hear only one voice in my head that exhausts me out - that I know for sure is the ego echoing things over and over again. But now there's a certain another voice, which is not as loud as the ego nor as rampant and very calm but stern. It tells me to do specific things, which if I mention are kind of ordinary - like when I was peeling carrots and thinking about how awful some people are- I remember the exact words I heard- "Forget other people. Your job is to peel carrots now." Is this also my ego? Usually I find that the instructions it gives are very precise and pertaining to what I'm doing in the moment. Which of these is intuition? Or all are or none?

Figure out how you can be useful to this person. Then offer that along with the email. And expect no replies. If you get one, great. If not, do field research on their books/blogs, as if you are doing a case study on them to learn how they think and behave. That's the one value you are looking for in a mentor- to know how they think and behave in a certain situation. If you cannot study under them, you can still study them.

I have started meditating since a couple of months and recently noticed that I start swaying involuntarily after about 7-8 minutes. At first I thought I was imagining it so I opened my eyes to check, but I was actually moving. However it is a very gentle swaying from side to side or front and back or rotational, but it is not something I am doing or controlling. I can stop it if I want to, but that feels wrong. In all it is a very lovely feeling and sensation of calm, but it exhausts me after about 20 minutes from swaying so much. I find that trying to control the movements also causes exhaustion. So I'm not sure if this is some kind of purging process or am I doing something wrong and my body is reacting to it? I meditate sitting on a cushion without back support. Giving some back support seems to prevent these movements but then I get too relaxed and doze off. Is this normal and anyone else experience this type of swaying? Also, how do you not get exhausted due to this? Also after a few moments of meditating, I lose sensations in my palms. It is as if my hands end at my wrists and my palms don't exist? Is this something to do with the mudras? I hold the Dhyana mudra because I do not know what else to do with my hands! All insights welcome. Thanks!

@Maya_0 Thanks,That made sense! Yeah, I do think it's the latter because I do not really have any urge to move, it just happens without me desiring or controlling it. Also I cannot seem to direct the motions or rotations, if I try to do that, they stop completely. That's interesting. I do feel something move around me like from one side to another or around the abdomen area, sometimes, very rarely this 'it', whatever it is, moves above my head. I'm wondering if this is something similar? I sometimes sense 'wind' on one side of my body, however it is not windy and it is not really my imagination, as imagination is limited to being inside my head. Same with ringing ears randomly for a few seconds when things are very quiet.

Something I've been trying recently: It's a mixture of two exercises - one from Eckhart Tolle and another from someone I remotely knew about who used to refer to himself in third person. To a lot of people it seemed crazy, but when I started practicing it, I realized the value in it. Exercise: Referring to yourself by your name instead of "I" or "me". Here's how to go about it. Whatever you're thinking, saying or doing at this very moment, focus your internal dialogue on it as if you were another person observing yourself think, say and do that. Example, while typing this, I am saying to myself: "rNOW is typing this post. rNOW is thinking if this exercise is worthy of sharing here. rNOW is thinking of shutting down the computer and going to bed. Is rNOW using this website to procrastinate?" The easy thing about it is, you can practice this anywhere anytime doing whatever. It might seem overwhelming in the beginning but gets better with practice. You start noticing that the difference between you and others start melting because you can now look at yourself as if you were someone else. Same with things. There was one particular moment where I had the subject/object mixed up: I was saying to myself "rNOW is filling the tumbler with water. rNOW is observing the water bubbles forming in the tumbler." Followed by a sudden twist "The tumbler is being filled by rNOW. The water bubbles are being observed by rNOW" and on and on. In those moments, all thoughts cease. Even though these dialogues seem like thoughts, they are not. They're just observations you're recording to discard the next moment. And then you begin to notice there probably is no difference between the tumbler and water and you, even if for a split second, there is no you. Subtle Warning: Try to keep these dialogues internal if you want others to leave you alone. May warrant unwanted attention if practiced aloud.