karkaore

@Lento Serotoninluv has a point there. When the sensation of pain is there, a big part of the components producing pain is actually conceptual. Notice that. For me personally, I can sometimes, for a slight second get rid of physical pain. It just disappears for that brief second. Don't know how to describe it yet, have no concrete explanation how I do it. All I know is that it's possible. Oh and make sure you do take care of your health in general ways also!

I am looking into emotions lately. Trying to find out what they are. Classic ones: fear, desire, pain. So this was the intention. I've had the dmt ready, sitting there waiting to get torched since the last evening. (Couldn't get over myself and stay grounded enough to do it, so I postponed it). Woke up in the morning, watched Leo's episode on division versus unity, meditated for a while. Drank a cup of cocoa. Sat in front of a bong for a while, trying to get my mind rid of any expectations, images from the last trips and stuff until I finally got somewhat grounded, got my balls together and lighted it up. Managed to get everything into my system. (most of the times I wouldn't be able to take a third hit.) Substance hit me like a freight train. My body fell like a leave. I've got revealed to a most beautiful dance. And there it was, dancing for me. Reality was falling into and onto itself. All the good and the bad united into a biggest orgasm pouring out and into me. This was depersonalized me, right in front of me. Pure fucking consciousness. No attachments, no distinctions. Infinite. Then I got revealed how consciousness gets confused with itself, mistaking it for being a me. How it chooses what it likes and what it rejects. How it starts fearing itself for the infinite beauty it is. How it actually creates it's own suffering by rejecting specific parts of itself. Its undeniable. This was a huge step towards realizing the dynamics of emotions. Will see how well it sticks.

I might be completely wrong, but i think Leo's agenda is the one of a rat race. Don't know for sure though, don't care either. He knows his shit. The important question to ask here IMO is why would this matter? My experience and intuition tells me that one cannot grasp external truths. Wasting time is all this is. Look inside.

@Chi_ There is no there. Have you ever been anywhere else than here, now?

Realized how much i actually don't give a shit about anyone but myself. All of my ideas about unconditional love are gone. Ideas about enlightenment are gone. Everything is gone. Am egotistical. Feel unbalanced. However, typing this, feelings of untrueness is present. It's like I am happy with the state I am in right now. This happiness is negative. There is nobody I can talk to about this. Help.? Reality feels like a fucked up game. I feel like a fucked up game. Giving up, letting this all go is the desire. I feel unconscious AF. Life continues. With every twilight there comes a sunshine.

Hey there. I will tell you one thing - it's simple. It's so simple it's laughable. Trying to solve 2+2 with equations and formulas, that's what humanity is doing..? Well, light shines upon all things anyway. They all know it, unknowingly.

Why are we fundamentally curious? What does it say about God? A lot of enlightened beings say that the Godhead or whatever else they call IT is the end of all desire. I see a deep problem here. A huge paradox. Now if the Truth aka God aka Consciousness bla bla has no desires, why are we (the same consciousness, Godhead) experiencing whatever we are experiencing? Why would there be any curiosity, any desires or anything allowed if not for the desire for something? I am not talking about our basic desires (like the Maslow's hierarchy of needs), I am talking about the fundamental stuff. Consciousness is heading towards greater understanding, love and peace. If there was no desire, there wouldn't be a thing called evolution, there wouldn't be any movement towards anything, would it? God wants something. Consciousness wants something. Greater good and love doesn't really satisfy the question. It's something I cannot comprehend yet. Greater understanding, love, expansion of consciousness seems like the bonus resulting from that process, whatever it is that God is doing.

Thank you all. A lot of points, a lot to contemplate. @Nahm You, sir, is amazing. I would love to meet with you one day.

So I am in the military for a month now. What is more and more clear for me as time goes on, is that no matter where you are, what you are doing and how you feel about it is perfect and exactly how it has to be from your perspective. Enlightenment isn't something that happens, it's not an event. It's more like a continuous process towards perfection that never ends. Towards greater, deeper love, peace and goodness. There is no end to this. All you do is move towards it. Every path is the true path.

@Zigzag Idiot Thank you. ❤️

I am having a bit of a backlash. Feel tired of everything, of this environment. Feel unconscious, frustrated a bit. I want some space. Want to get away from everything, want to be alone for a while.

We don't know. Accepting this not knowing will take us further down the path. Much, much more investigation and exploration must be done to accept it a bit more. Parafuckingdox. Not sure if it's possible to fully accept this not knowing. The problem is that we want to know!

noted.

We are on the same page after all. ?

Does that mean that these paths are ultimately different? Don't all of them have the same goal? The journeys vary, but the purpose of them is ultimately the same. That's what I meant by "every path is the same path". Every effort we take is pointing us to the same and only thing that really matters.

I can see where you coming from. This seems reasonable, doesn't it? I am not saying these studies are wrong. But where is the endpoint to enlightenment? We have different levels of enlightenment, not the enlightenments themselves.

Well, I swore the damn thing. Do feel okay with it. Feel like it was the right thing to do. This place, even though full of dogma, is having a good impact on me already. Patriotism. I've always had negative associations with the concept. Was even resisting it, in a way demonizing patriotic people. I was wrong. I am starting to see the good sides of it. No society can run without patriotism. I am saying this without actually knowing what i mean by the word. Funny. I know that i feel more motivated, more welcomed. Started loving this place more- the grass, water, sky, trees, clouds, wind, people. Myself.

@VeganAwake Thank you! ❤️

@Average Investor Waves, man, waves. ?

@VeganAwake You are precisely correct. But why would you choose to observe this "life" if it didn't matter? Yes, in a way nothing really matters. But i sense there is something much, much bigger going on.

@VeganAwake "Nothing matters" comes back a full circle to "everything matters". Then the absolute bliss and love comes in. Do you really feel like your life doesn't matter? I doubt it.

@Matt8800 You are missing a huge bit there. Yes, there is Christianity, Buddhism, yogic paths, occults and what not. They are all different, but you wouldn't know that if you didn't go through them. I was not talking about what you pick and choose, I was talking about the fact that you do. Without Christianity you wouldn't have known Buddhism, without Buddhism you wouldn't have known yoga and so forth. The same goes for literally everything. This is what your path consist of and this evolution is pulling you towards greater and greater good.

@Truth Addict You are right on point. Thank you for the reply. ? @Aaron p enjoy!

nn-dmt will not be active when taken orally without harmalas. didn't hear about any dangers, although i might be missing something. Check the NN-DMT mega thread. I am sure you will find your answers there.

So tomorrow is the day I have to take a loyalty oath to my country. This will give me a "first rank" and I will be officially a Lithuanian soldier. "I promise to loyally serve Lithuanian Republic, .............., fairly execute Lithuanian Republic Constitution, laws and my officers orders, ..............., God bless me." I have skipped some parts of the oath and included the ones that gives me hard time dealing with. First of all, I see a lot of misconceptions and flaws in the constitution that I know I genuinely wouldn't follow even though without the constitution there wouldn't be a country. And the second thing is that I value Lithuanian people and country just as much as any other country. What bugs me the most about the whole system is that there is only three ways not to take the oath: white ticket, courts and criminal cases or calling out a referendum which takes shit load of bureaucracy. + if I don't take the oath this means i am avoiding military service. (automatically putting me under courts). There is no possibilities of not taking the oath and staying. My own worldview doesn't play any role here basically. I feel quite disappointed. They sent me to psychologist to talk about all this but she didn't seem to fully understand me, was going through basic principles and that's basically it. I am not perfect at explaining my worldview or feelings either. So yeah.. tomorrow is the day I will take the oath that I do not fully agree with personally. I feel confused.