For over four year, I have had constantly headache every day. The headache is sometimes severely painful, especially when I try to sleep in the evening. I have used a lot of time and dedication to find out what it has been the causation of this, but first now I think I might start to figure out what the problem is.
So I got the headache when I meditated for about 4 years ago. I had smoked cannabis prior to my meditation session, which makes me a lot more sensitive to the energy and thus the meditation experience get alleviated a lot. What happened during this meditation was that I start feeling a lot unpleasant energy running through my body. What I usually did when this happened was to just sit with the feeling until it dissolved, but this time the feeling just got more intense and I started to feel a pressure behind my eyes. Even though this happened, I continued to meditate until I saw a picture of a boy crying while he was trying to communicate something to his parents, but couldn't because there was some kind of hindrance for that communication to take place. The feelings in my body got really intense and suddenly I got something that felt like an electric shock in my body, where I almost fell of my chair. After this whole Incident, I have had this headache every day for almost 4 years.
I have tried all kinds of methods to get the headache away. I have done qigong, meditation and reiki healing. I have also gone to chiropractor and something called naprapat, which is a hybrid between chiropractor and muscle therapist. I have also done bioenergetics (which worked somewhat) and holotropic breathing (where I can feel where the blockages are). What I notice is that the more energy I get running through my body, the more the neck muscle and blockages tenses. When I do the holotropic breathing I feel all of the different blockages in my stomach, neck and jaw, but they stay somewhat the same, and when I have a very high breathing tempo, the headache gets worse the days afterwards. The specific muscle which I am pretty sure is the causation of the headache is semispinalis capitis, which puts pressure on the greater occipital nerve in my neck. When I try to stretch this muscle, the headache just gets worse.
So I have read Stanislav Grof’s book “Lsd Psychotherapy”, and I find it really intriguing. He writes that in his therapy he would do sessions with patients where he gave them between 200ug-400ug LSD. The patients then put on eyes hades and earphones and the whole point of the therapy was to just internalize the session and let different unconscious material and traumas emerge while not resisting it.
So I have a got a hold of a lot of magic mushrooms and LSD and I have already done three sessions with mushrooms the last the past month in some small doses with a friend of me who is almost done with his psychology education. In the first session, I made mushroom tea of 1.7g shrooms, and the effects weren’t that intense so I did not get to work through any material. I upped my dosage to 2g and ate them raw instead in my second session and the effects was bigger, but I still felt my headache, and my chest area felt a bit empty of energy. What I did the third session was to massage my solar plexus chakra the days before so I felt more in the area. When I had my third session, where I did 2.2g, I started to feel more in my solar plexus area (typical butterfly feelings), and I could feel that the neck tension worked in tandem with the emotions in my solar plexus chakra and stomach. My intuition tells me that the emotion sits in my stomach and the neck tenses up and gives me a headache that prevents energy to feed into my stomach region. I also started to get some visuals combined with a “felt sense” about something traumatic I have experienced earlier during a past psychedelic sessions 8 months ago (while doing bioenergetics). What I see is naked bodies, mouths, sometimes penises and some kind of trans sexual feelings. The session ended because I had developed tolerance for mushrooms (they are a quite strong mexican strain, but I have done it 3 times over 3 weeks, so I am tolerant now).
Some back story, When I was a kid, around 6-8 years old, I was sexually abused by a friend of me that I really looked up to which was 5 years older than me. My interpretation of the meditation session was that it triggered trauma connected to that experience. I remember I didn't tell my parents of the sexual abuse, because I knew my father would beat my friend and everybody would know about the incident. I see myself as the little boy who cried, and that I could not tell my parents due to how they would react was the hindrance that this boy encountered. I think that I saw a boy, and not my self, because I have dissociated from the trauma. In the bioenergetic session 8 months ago, I also had a feeling, or rather a hunch that I have been involved with incest with my 2 year older sister.
So the plan right now is to wait 2 weeks from the last mushroom session and do a 300ug LSD session. I just think that it might be a longer window to work on the trauma. I also have an intuitive feeling that I would integrate the session better with LSD. From what I have read in the book is that the trauma comes out and you can start to tremor, yell, have perinatal experiences, regress to early childhood and do all kinds of bizarre and irrational things. I just have a gut feeling that this could help me with my situation.
So what I am wondering about is if what I am saying makes sense? And have anybody had any trauma relief on LSD, mushroom or any other psychedelics (how was that)? Is it best to use LSD or mushrooms (and thoughts on dosage)? Does anybody think this therapy will help me with the headache I have? And last, are there any other way to work on my blockages or can psychedelics resolve it?
Sorry if this post seems disoriented. Thanks in advance!
For over four year, I have had constantly headache every day. The headache is sometimes severely painful, especially when I try to sleep in the evening. I have used a lot of time and dedication to find out what it has been the causation of this, but first now I think I might start to figure out what the problem is. So I got the headache when I meditated for about 4 years ago. I had smoked cannabis prior to my meditation session, which makes me a lot more sensitive to the energy and thus the meditation experience get alleviated a lot. What happened during this meditation was that I start feeling a lot unpleasant energy running through my body. What I usually did when this happened was to just sit with the feeling until it dissolved, but this time the feeling just got more intense and I started to feel a pressure behind my eyes. Even though this happened, I continued to meditate until I saw a picture of a boy crying while he was trying to communicate something to his parents, but couldn't because there was some kind of hindrance for that communication to take place. The feelings in my body got really intense and suddenly I got something that felt like an electric shock in my body, where I almost fell of my chair. After this whole Incident, I have had this headache every day for almost 4 years. I have tried all kinds of methods to get the headache away. I have done qigong, meditation and reiki healing. I have also gone to chiropractor and something called naprapat, which is a hybrid between chiropractor and muscle therapist. I have also done bioenergetics (which worked somewhat) and holotropic breathing (where I can feel where the blockages are). What I notice is that the more energy I get running through my body, the more the neck muscle and blockages tenses. When I do the holotropic breathing I feel all of the different blockages in my stomach, neck and jaw, but they stay somewhat the same, and when I have a very high breathing tempo, the headache gets worse the days afterwards. The specific muscle which I am pretty sure is the causation of the headache is semispinalis capitis, which puts pressure on the greater occipital nerve in my neck. When I try to stretch this muscle, the headache just gets worse. So I have read Stanislav Grof’s book “Lsd Psychotherapy”, and I find it really intriguing. He writes that in his therapy he would do sessions with patients where he gave them between 200ug-400ug LSD. The patients then put on eyes hades and earphones and the whole point of the therapy was to just internalize the session and let different unconscious material and traumas emerge while not resisting it. So I have a got a hold of a lot of magic mushrooms and LSD and I have already done three sessions with mushrooms the last the past month in some small doses with a friend of me who is almost done with his psychology education. In the first session, I made mushroom tea of 1.7g shrooms, and the effects weren’t that intense so I did not get to work through any material. I upped my dosage to 2g and ate them raw instead in my second session and the effects was bigger, but I still felt my headache, and my chest area felt a bit empty of energy. What I did the third session was to massage my solar plexus chakra the days before so I felt more in the area. When I had my third session, where I did 2.2g, I started to feel more in my solar plexus area (typical butterfly feelings), and I could feel that the neck tension worked in tandem with the emotions in my solar plexus chakra and stomach. My intuition tells me that the emotion sits in my stomach and the neck tenses up and gives me a headache that prevents energy to feed into my stomach region. I also started to get some visuals combined with a “felt sense” about something traumatic I have experienced earlier during a past psychedelic sessions 8 months ago (while doing bioenergetics). What I see is naked bodies, mouths, sometimes penises and some kind of trans sexual feelings. The session ended because I had developed tolerance for mushrooms (they are a quite strong mexican strain, but I have done it 3 times over 3 weeks, so I am tolerant now). Some back story, When I was a kid, around 6-8 years old, I was sexually abused by a friend of me that I really looked up to which was 5 years older than me. My interpretation of the meditation session was that it triggered trauma connected to that experience. I remember I didn't tell my parents of the sexual abuse, because I knew my father would beat my friend and everybody would know about the incident. I see myself as the little boy who cried, and that I could not tell my parents due to how they would react was the hindrance that this boy encountered. I think that I saw a boy, and not my self, because I have dissociated from the trauma. In the bioenergetic session 8 months ago, I also had a feeling, or rather a hunch that I have been involved with incest with my 2 year older sister. So the plan right now is to wait 2 weeks from the last mushroom session and do a 300ug LSD session. I just think that it might be a longer window to work on the trauma. I also have an intuitive feeling that I would integrate the session better with LSD. From what I have read in the book is that the trauma comes out and you can start to tremor, yell, have perinatal experiences, regress to early childhood and do all kinds of bizarre and irrational things. I just have a gut feeling that this could help me with my situation. So what I am wondering about is if what I am saying makes sense? And have anybody had any trauma relief on LSD, mushroom or any other psychedelics (how was that)? Is it best to use LSD or mushrooms (and thoughts on dosage)? Does anybody think this therapy will help me with the headache I have? And last, are there any other way to work on my blockages or can psychedelics resolve it? Sorry if this post seems disoriented. Thanks in advance!