zambize

The forums would get spammed by not only spam bots but very excited people, I've found it annoying at times as well but I think the time limit is for the best. Tsuki would also probably have nightmares if we took it off

Leo does things in his own way though, because he has his own unique talents. Hes especially good analytically and logically and his practice is going to reflect that. So while you can study him, hes probably doing what hes doing because he has certain prerequisites and maybe it wont be as applicable to you. Also it would be hard to study leo, he doesnt talk about himself so much as he does convey his insights to us

Ehhhh just sharing my perspective, it could be shit. Either way I think you're a great mod and I'm sorry I'm kinda giving you a hard time, I appreciate you keeping the mood light

Yeah but you know Joseph isnt and you had to have known that what you said would provoke him, and he did get warned which can feel bad maybe ignoring him would be better, you can still have fun without getting him stirred up

I know Joseph isnt perfect but yall did do him a bit dirty unless I'm wrong? Certainly he has taken over threads to debate something to the end, but this started with serotonin replying to Joseph and I do agree the it seems like serotonin does kind of play some cheap tactics in arguements. Asking the other person if they arent picking up on humor based on their arguments is just obviously not going to lead anywhere, especially based on recent threads. Like you're so smart I just cant believe that you wouldnt have known exactly how what you said would have provoked Joseph more than have an actual conversation. On a recent thread he even came out and kind of extended his hand and said despite the arguements he thought you were a good guy, which from what I saw you didnt respond to and provoke him more than extend your own hand. Then Cetus who we know he has issues with does the warning which you know will piss him off even more and he didnt seem that out of line on this particular thread, I mean yall were as off subject as he was. Just seems like we could poke the bear less

Hmmm you know the feeling when you kind of like let down your shoulders and relax something that was tense? Do that but into the feeling, you're looking to just not resist it really and you kind of do that by channeling that letting go feeling. Dont pretend to like or love anything you dont, just kinda keep letting go and the clouds will start to clear up. Dont let the content of the thoughts or feelings get in the way of you just letting go and I think overtime you'll feel a lot better

No you're not feeding your ego, you're actually giving more power to your thoughts and feelings if you have that attitude because then your ego can kind of use thoughts and feelings in tricky ways. You will be doing the opposite of feeding your ego if you feel your thoughts and feelings and let them flow. You gotta expand that awareness and really feel what's coming through you. Your egos toxic behavior will be sorted out in the light of your awareness. Okay I'm getting too spiritual. As far as why I think you miss her it's because you're human, we are kind of pre wired to feel certain ways. Being social creatures it was probably a trait selected for at some point to help groups of our ancestors stay together. That longing to be with the same tribe. It's just a normal part of being human because of who we are and what helped our ancestors survive. I dont know feeling bad for feeling loneliness and human emotions is like feeling bad for shitting, it's just part of life. You're a normal guy who is feeling some normal feelings, I'm sure you'll be able to work through them over time, it can often feel overwhelming at first

I'm not saying you're meant to feel it or meant to think it, I dont know that. I dont pretend to know all that shit. I used to have the same kind of mindset, I still do occasionally. Anytime a thought or feeling comes in that we think is super egoic we feel like we gotta play goalie and like shut those thoughts or feelings down. But like that ain't helping anyone, and it's not anyone's fault you have those thoughts/feelings. I'm just letting you know you dont gotta play goalie, we all got those weird thoughts and shit. The way to get through emotions is to let them flow and surrender to them, you can amplify this by just writing down whatever you feel right now on paper, this kind of helps process our emotions and thoughts and they become less nagging when you get it down on paper. It's kind of like the mind saying, okay I made my point I'll stop bugging you. Anyways much love, hope that was intelligible I'm pretty high

I'm saying accept your feelings 100% and your thoughts as well. I'll often have overly cocky thoughts, thoughts of killing myself, feelings of jealousy and greed. But that's not really stuff that at all reflects the way I act, sometimes we just kind of think and feel in a way that doesnt necessarily reflect our character or personality at all. You dont have to judge yourself at all for whatever thoughts or feelings you have, you arent responsible for the content of them so much as you are accepting them and the way you act. This is not egoic, you have to listen to yourself, the thoughts and feelings in your head ain't gunna hurt anyone, let them flow <3

You feel what you feel, dont worry about whether you should. I know its common when I have a really petty thought or emotion to kind of feel like I'm at fault but like, I dont choose my thoughts or feelings, atleast not that I'm aware of

Im glad you changed the name of your journal to include penguins Haha, also sounds like you're off to a good start which is always great

It's normal to compare ourselves with others, and feel bad when we dont think we compare. Most people kind of overestimate how well other people are doing because people tend to put on a bit of a face and also exaggerate their own accomplishments. Sounds like you're perfectly normal, I'm sorry you feel down

She seemed like a nut to me even if she has really good advice in many areas

How you been?

I really like these songs, also the artwork is fantastic. It's good music to kind of calm down to

I still have my reddit karma to measure my dick

Goals day 18/66 I got up at 6am and stayed up so that goal is kind of becoming habit, I don't really think about it too much atm because it's just been kind of falling in place. As far as enlightenment work, that's been all day for a while now but I appreciate recently that there are more altered states of consciousness and I'm a lot better at surrendering. I really feel like I'm using the best technique in one of the most efficient possible ways, so I'm happy about that, my mind craves certainty too. So while I think enlightenment work and opening up to my own femininity go hand in hand in a lot of ways, I have been trying to make sure I stay balanced. I would say the more masculine part of my enlightenment work is the metaphorization of my emotions and resistance. I usually don't go too deep into the metaphor because once I notice it, it's only a couple of seconds before I surrender to it and it kind of clicks and goes away. For example I might be feel a point of tension in my nose and I just kind of put it into a small number of words like "pulsating point like tension in top of nose". It's kind of easy to tell once you get good at this how faster your emotions and tension clears up. The more feminine part of enlightenment work for me is then the surrender and acceptance towards those emotions that my more masculine half points out. It's gentle and compassionate. It takes a diagnoses and heals through warmth and care. It's the second part of a two step process, realize what you have to surrender to, and surrender. When I do a really good job at channeling this gentleness, I can tell just how much faster the process goes. It's like having a cute nurse vs. an old monotone man doctor, you're just going to be in the doctor's office more if you get a little kiss to go with your band-aid. Also not really giving too much shit about theory, which has been a while. I watched parts of Leo's new video to see how my ego would react and to see if he had some really smart stuff to say. My ego is slightly jealous of his access to 5-Meo because sometimes it wants to be spiritual number 1, I think this is super common, yet still feels embarrassing. As far as insights, it really did feel similar to a lot of his other content. Some of the points he made about like every particle being affected by every other particles gravity just didn't seem that insightful to me, but like I'm a physics major and his videos aren't tailor made for me. It made me feel comfortable basically just dropping the enlightenment and spiritual theory, it also felt good to admit that my Ego can be a jealous little shit who seeks to belittle the effectiveness of techniques that haven't worked for myself or aren't available to myself, which was nice. If I get back into theory it will probably either be my own if people are curious about what I did to get where I am, or just for shits n gigs. I feel like I need a new standard to grade myself on, or I will just give myself As in relation to how I was. So today I'll just give myself a B so I have a reference point for tomorrow on what I now consider a B Grade B

Bitches

She can if you're willing to watch a video

Yo I dont think enlightenment changes your DNA though this ain't no spider man crap, otherwise plan sounds pretty lit

I thought you already had that insight of you being God, in what way was this experience different?

Damn I'm impressed, you must be reading a lot of mandy or something

Thank you for being a sweetheart Haha, when I first joined this site I actually spammed winterknights thread with all the questions that ever came up for me. Right now I'm kind of curious on if people have had similar experiences to what feels like a bunch of clicks and kind of blockages opening up especially around my nose and third eye, but I can feel my resistance and have just been chugging along surrendering it. I dont know if anyone has had similar experiences to that somewhere along their path. That's really the only thing I'm slightly curious about, but otherwise I think I got it handled D: Also you happened to pick two people I already do admire

Oh I gotchu I gotchu, agreed As far as being alpha male, I'm not sure if I get disqualified for liking my ass grabbed

Yeah I think a lot of people, especially guys, have it so preprogrammed to just kinda be super stubborn and unwilling to admit they need help. But if you dont ask for help you dont get it Dl^: the l is a moustache