zambize

No need to be sorry, that's kind of comforting

I watched the video, and I loved it. It did touch on a lot of topics that you've already touched on in say your AMA thread, and I think you've even talked about sounding like a broken record. On that note I think it would be cool for you to go more in depth in a video or thread on psychoanalysis or therapy or whatever you call it. Great video, hope in the future you can cover more topics

Can you be specific in what you mean by surrender? Are you just talking about trying to maximally surrender to the moment during meditation, or is there more to this?

I don't know if you need to say too much, unless you are getting like zero signals. Next time that happens try and like sit side by side, just a bit of touch, and see how she reacts and go from there. This could turn into cuddling and watching a movie, and from there it would be less awkward to talk about having sex, or at least there should be a lot of signals as to whether she wants to continue or not, but yeah, going from a girl on your bed playing video games to talking about having sex COULD be a huge step, I don't have any details so I can't say too much, but I'd try breaking the touch barrier and being really aware of how she takes that. As far as the how do you love your sisters, you don't have to force yourself to love them, I would just be aware of the reasons you don't love them and those reasons you don't love something tend to be silly and arbitrary as you are more aware of them. But yeah, don't force love/compassion where there isn't any, next time you think some girl is being a bitch or you don't like them, don't repress it, find the roots of why you dislike them, in your case this seems to be sexual frustration, and I think that just being aware of this over time will cause it to dissolve. Wish you the best of luck

Well I hope you don't have to sacrifice too much of your needs/desires to get what you are looking for, wish you the best of luck at the park

Wow I can't believe someone called you a nazi, that's intense. I don't think all men are afraid to be vulnerable or honest, I don't feel afraid to be either of those two, and maybe you can take my word on it D::: Sorry you had some bad experiences, I bet if you kept looking you'd probably find some genuine guys out there, although I can't help but say there might be slightly better places to look

Do you enjoy the fact that you are aware of the illusory world and have perceptions, or would you rather be no-minding it in the highest states of consciousness for the rest of eternity? Or in whatever highest states of analysis/consciousness there are

What is your opinion on seeking Truth for Truth's sake vs. seeking Truth only when it reduces the suffering of yourself and others?

I like how Mooji puts it in this video about fear being a bluff of the mind, maybe this could help you! He's great if you haven't watched his content. Wish you the best

Maybe, but I feel like most days I'm pretty content and would certainly relive this dream, I don't think this is pure selfishness either. What if my pursuit of the Truth made my ability to reduce my own and other people's suffering less for some reason, be it spending a lot of time meditating and contemplating etc. Truth for Truth's sake seems ridiculous to me, and of course I'm ignorant, but where I am at right now, I'm not going to pursue something that I don't think will reduce mine or other people's suffering, you can call that whatever you want, but I'm certainly very happy with the direction my life is heading under that notion, and if that's ignorant, well hopefully I'll find out

I'd take nothing over being miserable, I feel like we are just lucky that the Truth just so happens to make us happy and fulfilled, I don't see why it HAS to be this way, of course I'm still ignorant to a lot of things, but yeah I'm just grateful that we can pursue answers and trust that in doing so, we will probably be a lot happier. If I saw Mooji meditating for 20 years and he came out a miserable depressed individual after finding out the deeper answers to our universe, well I probably wouldn't pursue the Truth that intensely

Is this growth to you, or growth to everyone?

I don't think i'd be disappointed if I turned into a lizard haha, but thanks for the advice/knowledge, i'll keep it in mind in the future

I don't have a date, but I strongly intend to at some point, maybe that's not enough. Is this on a completely different ballpark than something like an eighth of shrooms, right I'm kind of on a schedule of taking shrooms every few weeks and integrating. I would totally make Aya a goal that I accomplish within a year if you felt there was significant consciousness to be expanded from Aya compared to your typical shrooms/LCD. I'm not scared, but I have it pretty burnt in my memory not to fight it now, which I think is a good thing for me. Man you're really making me excited, but I don't want to have expectations either

Yeah I know, part of my comment didn't relate to what you said and was kind of fleshing out my story, I just think you're pretty smart and like to comment on your stuff to see what you think of what I have to say haha, so if there is ever any disconnect, it's just that I like to hear what you say. I'm so excited to do a ceremony myself, hopefully I'm brave enough to not struggle and let the terror be

Seems to me like there is some debate on this, I feel like I distinctly remember Moojiji saying something along the lines of, "why be happy in a year, if you can be happy now". I think overall this journey should be fun, even if there is "terror and insanity". Most experiences I've had with ego dissolution feel mostly like jumping off a cliff into water, you kind of know you'll be fine and enjoy the adrenaline rush, but there is still a large degree of terror. That being said, I think for some people this terror can be excitement too, or at least a mix. I kind of have an issue with both sides, those that push the fact that this should be some grueling journey and don't mention that it can overall be fun and exciting, and those that push it being only fun and loving. I tend to just believe that everyone has to deal with what's on their plate, if you feel fear, you gotta embrace it, look into it, what is it trying to tell you, but if for some reason you don't, I don't think you have to force yourself into bad situations believing it's the only way to make progress

Im so glad that I live in a time where we are pretty open at least in my area about use of psychedelics and that I didn't have to go through 20 years of meditation to get a feel for what can be experienced in meditation

Allowing yourself to be rolled over because you don't want to make someone else uncomfortable is not kindness, no amount of doing this will change their heart from my experience so far.

I think the problem is what to you do when someone has a baby hasn't taken the course, I mean you can't just go around aborting babies, taking it away from a mother who refuses to take the license also seems unreasonable (if you don't abort it). Maybe parenting belongs in public schools for a day, not sure

The better theory predicts reality, the more dangerous it is to you in terms of over applying and not second guessing. I'd rather have a shit theory that I'm skeptical of and can fix as I learn than an overarching theory of reality that I'm trying to stuff everything into to work because it has worked in the past

I celebrated these holidays because my family did and it was fun, now I chose to continue celebrating them because I enjoy the Halloween parties with my friends and a chance to exchange gifts. While these may derive from pagan festivals, it's now anyone's choice to celebrate depending on if they feel like the benefit from any given holiday. I think it's easy to look too deep into this, I think the pagans celebrated these holidays with very different intents than we do today. Also cool that you live in Sweden! Have some family in Norrtälje and Stockholm, beautiful country

I think it gets better, but I can only speak from my experience, it's possible that some of this anger comes from ego-backlash,especially if you've been making a lot of progress in meditation etc. I don't know this is the case for you, but I repress some of these emotions such as anger,emptiness, feeling loss, when I think the better approach is to invite them in full strength and to just be mindful of them. As far as friends go, I left a larger group of my childhood friends because people just go their different ways and have different values in life, you'll find new people if who you're hanging out with atm is not a match

Strange, especially with meditation, I feel like that acts as sleep in its own right. Could be diet, could be too much screen time before bed, for me I noticed I get better sleep when I dont have music or any forms of active background noise. Could just be you though, for whatever reason you just need 8 hours to get the right amount of REM cycles or whatever

Have you really found 8 hours of sleep necessary? I can't seem to find any evidence supporting that other than an article that kind of pooled population sizes, and used the trends of populations to prove sleeping more was healthier, of course this is a shit metric because correlation doesn't prove causation, there could be reasons why these populations can't get enough sleep such as over-working that are the root cause, and not sleep. Psychology today seems to agree saying that if 6-7 works for you, keep it that way, you're more than likely fine. In fact sleeping 9-10 hours lowers your life span ironically. My point being that if you're doing 8 hrs because in your experience that's what produces, great, but if not, it is a common misconception that people need 8 and that if you can function on 6-7 hrs just as well, I would recommend 7 personally.

Probably not because most bullies just use words and not fists and you cant just go around beating the shit out of every bully who makes fun of you. Glad I could finally answer one of your questions for you, now its mutual