zambize

You don't have to describe anything to me, it was more to make a point and get you thinking haha. No worries there. If you have the time, I think this video would be valuable to listen to and it's only 30 minutes, other than that, good luck!

While it's true that you are what you already are, it's also could be true that you haven't fully realized this. As far as who is MTR, the problem here I see is that when you think of who you are, you think of a sentence "I am nothing". These words are popping in your head as you're reading them, just like the words "I am nothing" may have popped up when you thought of who you were. But those are just thoughts, how do you even know if you have control over them and what they say? There really doesn't seem to be a good answer to this that can be written, but don't get lost in words. Fuck all the words and the questions, cause if you could be aware of exactly what you are, none of the words used to label it/categorizations etc. would matter to you, they could only water down what you know. That's why I recommend just sitting down in your own awareness, don't make anything up, just ask yourself "what am I?" "what is existence?" I can give you a list of questions I ask myself, but stuff along those lines, and then surrender as much as you can to the moment and just be aware. "but trying to solve these paradoxes in my mind." <<<<< DON'T ASSUME THE MIND CAN ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS I think moving forward, i'd recommend two things. 1. You have so many great questions but are relying on your mind to resolve stuff that can seemingly only be resolved through direct experience. Don't think yourself to death, I do it too, it kind of sucks. Use your direct experience to find your own answer to these. 2. There seems to be an issue against desire, and I'm worried this is going to lead you to repressing desire. It's totally cool to have desires, and it's perfectly acceptable to act on these desires when they aren't harming yourself or others. It's not to say you should cling to your desires, but believing all desires to be bad and egoic will lead you to be a less conscious individual because you will be constantly expending effort to kind of shut up desires and thoughts that come into your head, let them be, they don't really matter that much. I also believe personally that one of the deepest desires is to find out who we are, and what we should be doing, etc. You gotta be super honest and aware of your desires, because some of them might take you home and answer a lot of questions you have.

No keep crying, so much "manlier" to be able to cry and let it out. Crying is like puking to me, I always feel better after I've cried. If you are crying, you got some stuff to work through, and that's totally okay, everyone else has shit to work through. Maybe what made you feel worse was feeling bad about crying, and you didn't let the process complete or didn't let your emotions just be enough for them to resolve. Next time you cry, cry with the mentality that crying is okay, and that it's not your fault that you feel like crying. Feeling like you want to cry is just some emotion that pops into your awareness, it's not like you pressed some button that said "I want to feel like crying", it just is, it's not your fault, it's nothing to be ashamed about, it's just the hand you were dealt, and you've come across as rather intelligent and developed in a lot of your posts, I'd say you got a decent hand even if it doesn't feel like it right now. I'm really sorry that you feel rejected and hurt, but the only way forward is through it sadly, and I really hope you can let go as best as you can and really give it a shot. On the note of why you are broken, I don't see you as broken haha If you have any any issues I would highly recommend the post "Sincere seekers, I am enlightened ask me anything", he has really good knowledge of how to work through your emotions if you have any issues executing this. I'm also happy to help and would like to hear your thoughts or how it goes next time you cry, but I'm not the most qualified imo

Knowing the path taken, and someone who is conscious knowing which path is taken are two different things, that being said, this feels like a massive time sink, I'll read whatever you have to say, but I'm just so uninterested in this so you'll have to catch me on another thread haha

I would recommend next time this flares up hard, you close the door, sit back and get comfortable, and dive into whatever anxiety/depression you have. Be aware of it, all of it, and let it be there, surrender completely to whatever emotions you have. Now you have to listen, questions like "am I hiding something from myself" "what thoughts are making me feel this way" etc can be helpful because the idea is you want to really feel the emotion, let it be there, find the associated thoughts/limiting beliefs to that emotion, listen to those beliefs/thoughts, do you agree with them? Maybe you just have to feel out the emotion and let it dissolve, maybe you have some limiting beliefs that are just nonsense. Some things that MIGHT pop up in this case just by reading your one paragraph so don't take them too seriously could be along the lines of "I need someone else in my life to be happy", "I don't love myself","she won't stay if I don't show her just how much I love her". You might also come to realize that you just feel really empty and lonely, and need to embrace that, feel it, love it if you can. You aren't alone though, I hope you find some peace

"Turquoise has some apparent correlation to deep non-dual understanding) but as it's even said in science, correlation doesn't = causation. " I don't know if I would use science as an argument to whether someone is at a stage that has largely transcended science (IMO), but I still think I know where you are trying to go with that. I appreciate the post, I read it for the sub arguments and points and piece together my own whole, so even though I wouldn't say I agree 100%, that's okay, I appreciate you taking the time to type this out. You seem educated haha

You seem stressed, and that's totally okay. I feel like you talk a lot about "you don't exist" and "I don't exist", could you be so kind as to elaborate on what you mean by "I" when you say "I don't exist", it would help me to answer some of your questions. Who is MTR?

Not sure is OKAY too, glad I could help somewhat haha. Even if QM could prove anything, the existence of infinite intelligence/god etc, would it not come in the form of some experiment and analysis of that experiment. That's not the answer I want, it's just words, I want the direct experience of these answers. So although I don't think QM at it's current state can prove metaphysical questions, even if it could, it would be an anticlimactic reveal to me

Are you sure Marcus Aurelius and Socrates belong in blue? What was your reasoning for this placement?

What if an hour a day of not pleasureful meditation, could lead to the other 15 waking hours to be extremely blissful, would you still let go of meditation? Could you explain yourself a bit more for me?

No you're not do dumb haha, here is a quote from the fathers of QM "If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don't understand quantum mechanics" -Richard Feynman This guy was super super fucking smart when it came to QM, just to put things into perspective. While I agree that QM points to something being a bit strange about our universe, explanations from Multiverse and more probabilistic models to consciousness exist out there, and you can't really refute or add to them because it's mostly just interpretations of results without ever seeing the actual mechanism. Don't worry about understanding it, it's a slightly entertaining mess. I wish I had answers to your questions ( I don't), but good news, a lot of consciousness questions can be answered or experienced right here right now, you're bathing in consciousness atm

Wow this is a mess, I don't usually accept a video with cats and shit as an argument against a pretty clear question, but I'll entertain the video. So 11:25, that blockage and what they say after happening is what should happen if you put a detector at the front of one of the slits and know which hole it has gone through. If you know which slit has gone through via a detector, you know it did not go through the other, and it will not produce an interference pattern, just a diffusive light pattern As far as the Delayed Choice Quantum Eraser video goes, I wasn't super impressed and a lot of it feels like bro science. Quantum Mechanics was built largely on just getting results, and modeling the results without having any fucking idea with what's going on. A lot of the material of these types of videos goes into actual science, but also just whatever interpretation they feel explains it best, and because there isn't really a good understanding of why QM is the way it is, you can basically say whatever the hell you want, especially in a youtube video. They do have a good point about detectors, and you're right to say that in this case it is slightly more nuanced, when I was talking about the detector, of course something sending light at a particle and looking for a reflection or whatever detector you use would be recording that information or be available to the scientist, and would collapse the wave, however it appears that you can ignore the detector results, in which case you don't have path information, and in more complicated experiments, you can at least prove that a detector can be in a superposition state, but that's not really the simple experiment we are talking about. I found a more rigorous video, that was done more inline with the actual researchers who did the experiment, and shows how complicated the actual experiment is compared to a double slit haha

I prefer women too Haha, we agree on something! Actually I also appreciated your post on "rant about actualized" so we are on a roll

I would just recommend starting with questions like "what is existance" "who am i" followed by complete surrender. No making anything up, no need to imagine anything, for me this results in a lot of the awareness in my head to kind of vibrate faster and feels like my brain is clicking into place, and then some energy is released and a block feels like it was removed. You dont have to expect anything or try and make anything happen, ask the questions and surrender to the universe, the rest just kind of unfolds

I agree that this is how a yellow military would work in a yellow world, but do you think a yellow military would intervene in world affairs such as the Rwandan genocide/isis etc? In this way they are still focused on defense of people, but through force. What are your thoughts? How much does a yellow society involve themselves in world affairs militarily in your opinion?

Your feelings are literally your friend, treat them as such

So I think humbleness can come through as a kind of a mindset, and living out a set of beliefs. I think a big part of humbleness is just being able to admit you don't know everything, and have a lot to learn (which you definitely check). Another facet of humbleness to me is being willing to learn from others, and admitting others can teach you something. This is similar to my first point, but I think it's important to consider other people's points of view, and not just your own. Seems like you check this box. What I don't think humbleness is, is anything that makes you feel different than you feel. Like if you feel like you're a smart motherfucker, then that's just how you feel or think, you don't have to try to control your thoughts or feelings to make yourself more humble, fake humbleness is a mess, it's a trap I got myself into. I made myself less conscious by kind of creating a mental block and remaining half cocked ready to take down any thought that went above the threshold of how cocky of a thought I was willing to have. This is just repression, bad bad stuff D:: In summary, I kind of labeled what I define humbleness is, but I don't think you have to worry about forcing your humbleness or having to bow to anyone. I think a natural humbleness kind of sets in as you realize you don't have the control that you thought you did, and maybe shouldn't be taking the credit you've been taking egoically, but I wouldn't force that humbleness. As you grow spiritually, your thoughts may, and definitely did in my case, get extremely egoic at times, and there isn't anything wrong with that, it's not like I picked those thoughts, they just kind of chirped in. Anyways, best of luck, it's really nothing to worry about, just be as you as you can be right now

I think you should leave some up to flow and what you're feeling you should intuitively do that day. I end up setting up like an hour every day, that's to make sure I can ensure progress. Apart from that it depends on the day, I meditate when I feel like it, I self inquire when I feel about it, it's mostly down to flow and it can end up being 3 to 4 hours of meditation and self inquiry throughout the day. But some days I dont feel like doing more than an hour of formal practice, and I'm super okay with that

This to me is like proving there is something we aren't listening to, maybe it's the case maybe it isn't. You can theorize all you want, but your complaint is with the Scientist taking the measurement, but for any study you have to measure the particle haha, you can't just set up an experiment and not do a measurement. But at the end of the day it really shouldn't matter, going into consciousness work with any assumptions about knowing infinity/consciousness because of the results of QM which is based on results from measuring dead matter, seems really materialistic to me, and I'm a big fan of QM, but QM seems to be being used to validate assumptions and ideas that haven't been realized through direct experience, and that direct experience of consciousness/infinity is probably only going to be more difficult with assumptions from a materialistic science. I don't know, I don't want to come off as harsh, but at the same time I want to make sure this isn't keeping you from self-inquiry. What I'm saying is that the experiment, the result, and everything exists only as a "probability wave" without consciousness. I can't disprove this, because it's just not our reality, and we can make conjectures about a reality without consciousness if that's even a thing, but that's just a guessing game, who knows

"If you could see the particle with your bare eyes it would affect the result" I mean this is seemingly true because in this case a photon is hitting the particle and then back to your eye, but at the same time I don't see how you can make guesses about the nature of reality/QM in a universe that we don't live in (one where we can see elementary particles) without understanding QM in our own reality first. Then you go on to say the detector is not physically interacting with it? Of course it is, it's a detector, it needs to interact with it in someway to know its there. You don't have to call a photon-particle interaction physical, but that's one case of a detector. There's nothing mysterious about detectors though, if the particles were large enough I could bend over on the other side of the slit and my ass could be a detector, really nothing special about this detector terminology. I would like your proof though if you're going to disagree with me, as far as why the delayed quantum eraser proves the detector itself is not physically interacting with the system

Oh I was just poking fun at him, I probably couldnt, yikes. I wouldn't think about it like that, I would ask what is the best teacher for each aspect of life or each level of development. So Leo does give very broad level knowledge in a lot of areas, hes really so generally that it's both his greatest strength and weakness. He touches sooo fucking many topics that it's hard for him to go indepth, and a lot of them touch on topics less relevant to you depending on the stage you're at. My point being is that you should be continually looking for new teachers that begin to resonate with you as you develop, and that while i think Leo has great general knowledge that there are seemingly better sources such as Mooji who posts quite a few youtube videos for individuals going down for lack of better words a more serious spiritual path. I also really like shinzen young, and would recommend him over Leo if you are solely seeking enlightenment work. But yeah I ran off on such a tangent, I was just messing around with the comment about you not looking, dont take that seriously at all. Hope that offered you anything haha

Have you looked?

Wait can someone do this to guys? Asking for a friend

I think there's enlightenment work, but also just general personal development work on here. I agree that there's only so much the forums can offer you in enlightenment work because most people seem to have conflicting ideas about issues which you can't even properly express in words, so that side can be a mess. Then there is a lot of general tips like affirmations, how to tackle your goals effectively, how to find your life purpose etc. that kind of seems limitless in terms of the knowledge you can know

I think there are more types of confidence than just big ego confidence. I think you can have a big ego that you don't take seriously at all, so outwardly it's often interpreted as you being super confident with yourself, but deep down you just aren't worried about saying something stupid, maintaining any image, or needing to behave in any other way than what is genuine to yourself. You can kind of pretend to be like this, and maintain it through deception and whatnot, but I think everyone has the more genuine form of confidence that they can tap into. Spiritual work has probably made my ego bigger in terms of the thoughts and how cocky they get, but how could it be any other way? Of course they are going to try and take credit and say whatever the fuck they want. So I would work on being confident in yourself, and not worry if it means you have a big ego. You can have a big ego you don't take seriously. I'm also not sure you lack this, but it seems to be one of the biggest things I've seen other girls be attracted to, and I personally find it very attractive. I also wouldn't necessarily rule out that you just got unlucky, maybe you just did the opposite of winning the lottery in terms of girls and the right one has always just been at a different bar that night or whatever. I'd still look within to see if it could possibly be yourself and some weird tendencies you aren't conscious of that, but I can't say with confidence that that's the case. Could also be some self fulfilling prophecy, where you kind of believe in the back of your head that after all this time no girls into you and you're just cursed, and that could be causing some issues.