zambize

There are things that get in the way of enjoying the full present moment, thoughts/emotions we've been holding off on feeling for a while among other things. The meditation that I do for this kind of work is a do nothing meditation followed by metaphorization of whatever emotions come up. Once you've worked through a repressed emotion it seems like your reclaim a part of your awareness and slightly more love comes out of the faucet. Also sometimes this sucks, healing can be painful, dont repress bad moments and just be as honest with your thoughts on the present moment as possible. You do NOT have to look for the beauty of the present moment, just keep doing this and itll come on it's own. Although maybe you are already doing all of this, in which case best of luck!

I always forget just how lucky we are to be human, the perfect amount of suffering to point us where we need to be pointed, and still full of love

I think it really depends on the person, while I agree you shouldn't be depending on these things, personally for whatever reason weed just really helps me find things I'm hiding from myself, and in that way is very curative. You gotta be the judge for yourself on this one I think

Yeah, I do value understanding in the sense that a lot of my desires involve interacting with others and spreading useful ideas, and them understanding is highly correlated to what they take away. Clarity is important, some people feel like they need theory on the path, and it can help. I know I have the option to move on, we are both consenting adults here, but I think theres and important counter perspective for you to hear and you have stuff to teach me as well

You spread a lot of ideas, you should believe in them should you not Haha? I like practicality and pure experience we agree there, and that's nice that you are willing to answer peoples questions in PM

I would say it's an important question to be asking and you should be able to explain the ideas you are putting forth to other people to at least some extent. People are using these ideas the affect their lives you should at least believe in them yourself enough to expand on your ideas and talk to other people about them instead of deflecting questions, what do you think?

Yeah you're right, but these suicides were often done in protest of policies at the time, government stuff etc and these monks just truly believed that their suicide would cause the most change and end the most suffering. So despite being in a blissful state, they threw it all away for others. It's kind of a beautiful tragedy, the person enjoying their life the most sacraficing it for people who arent enjoying it. Lmfao

We disagreeing again, but we had a good streak! Could you elaborate on how you can say it's the only way to enlightenment? Have you tried every path to enlightenment?

Yes, exactly that

I'm not sure if its enlightenment work or other training they do but self emulation( I hope that autocorrected to the right word) has been a form of protest and I have watched those monks burn super non chalantly until they tip over

You don't have to describe anything to me, it was more to make a point and get you thinking haha. No worries there. If you have the time, I think this video would be valuable to listen to and it's only 30 minutes, other than that, good luck!

While it's true that you are what you already are, it's also could be true that you haven't fully realized this. As far as who is MTR, the problem here I see is that when you think of who you are, you think of a sentence "I am nothing". These words are popping in your head as you're reading them, just like the words "I am nothing" may have popped up when you thought of who you were. But those are just thoughts, how do you even know if you have control over them and what they say? There really doesn't seem to be a good answer to this that can be written, but don't get lost in words. Fuck all the words and the questions, cause if you could be aware of exactly what you are, none of the words used to label it/categorizations etc. would matter to you, they could only water down what you know. That's why I recommend just sitting down in your own awareness, don't make anything up, just ask yourself "what am I?" "what is existence?" I can give you a list of questions I ask myself, but stuff along those lines, and then surrender as much as you can to the moment and just be aware. "but trying to solve these paradoxes in my mind." <<<<< DON'T ASSUME THE MIND CAN ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS I think moving forward, i'd recommend two things. 1. You have so many great questions but are relying on your mind to resolve stuff that can seemingly only be resolved through direct experience. Don't think yourself to death, I do it too, it kind of sucks. Use your direct experience to find your own answer to these. 2. There seems to be an issue against desire, and I'm worried this is going to lead you to repressing desire. It's totally cool to have desires, and it's perfectly acceptable to act on these desires when they aren't harming yourself or others. It's not to say you should cling to your desires, but believing all desires to be bad and egoic will lead you to be a less conscious individual because you will be constantly expending effort to kind of shut up desires and thoughts that come into your head, let them be, they don't really matter that much. I also believe personally that one of the deepest desires is to find out who we are, and what we should be doing, etc. You gotta be super honest and aware of your desires, because some of them might take you home and answer a lot of questions you have.

No keep crying, so much "manlier" to be able to cry and let it out. Crying is like puking to me, I always feel better after I've cried. If you are crying, you got some stuff to work through, and that's totally okay, everyone else has shit to work through. Maybe what made you feel worse was feeling bad about crying, and you didn't let the process complete or didn't let your emotions just be enough for them to resolve. Next time you cry, cry with the mentality that crying is okay, and that it's not your fault that you feel like crying. Feeling like you want to cry is just some emotion that pops into your awareness, it's not like you pressed some button that said "I want to feel like crying", it just is, it's not your fault, it's nothing to be ashamed about, it's just the hand you were dealt, and you've come across as rather intelligent and developed in a lot of your posts, I'd say you got a decent hand even if it doesn't feel like it right now. I'm really sorry that you feel rejected and hurt, but the only way forward is through it sadly, and I really hope you can let go as best as you can and really give it a shot. On the note of why you are broken, I don't see you as broken haha If you have any any issues I would highly recommend the post "Sincere seekers, I am enlightened ask me anything", he has really good knowledge of how to work through your emotions if you have any issues executing this. I'm also happy to help and would like to hear your thoughts or how it goes next time you cry, but I'm not the most qualified imo

Knowing the path taken, and someone who is conscious knowing which path is taken are two different things, that being said, this feels like a massive time sink, I'll read whatever you have to say, but I'm just so uninterested in this so you'll have to catch me on another thread haha

I would recommend next time this flares up hard, you close the door, sit back and get comfortable, and dive into whatever anxiety/depression you have. Be aware of it, all of it, and let it be there, surrender completely to whatever emotions you have. Now you have to listen, questions like "am I hiding something from myself" "what thoughts are making me feel this way" etc can be helpful because the idea is you want to really feel the emotion, let it be there, find the associated thoughts/limiting beliefs to that emotion, listen to those beliefs/thoughts, do you agree with them? Maybe you just have to feel out the emotion and let it dissolve, maybe you have some limiting beliefs that are just nonsense. Some things that MIGHT pop up in this case just by reading your one paragraph so don't take them too seriously could be along the lines of "I need someone else in my life to be happy", "I don't love myself","she won't stay if I don't show her just how much I love her". You might also come to realize that you just feel really empty and lonely, and need to embrace that, feel it, love it if you can. You aren't alone though, I hope you find some peace

"Turquoise has some apparent correlation to deep non-dual understanding) but as it's even said in science, correlation doesn't = causation. " I don't know if I would use science as an argument to whether someone is at a stage that has largely transcended science (IMO), but I still think I know where you are trying to go with that. I appreciate the post, I read it for the sub arguments and points and piece together my own whole, so even though I wouldn't say I agree 100%, that's okay, I appreciate you taking the time to type this out. You seem educated haha

You seem stressed, and that's totally okay. I feel like you talk a lot about "you don't exist" and "I don't exist", could you be so kind as to elaborate on what you mean by "I" when you say "I don't exist", it would help me to answer some of your questions. Who is MTR?

Not sure is OKAY too, glad I could help somewhat haha. Even if QM could prove anything, the existence of infinite intelligence/god etc, would it not come in the form of some experiment and analysis of that experiment. That's not the answer I want, it's just words, I want the direct experience of these answers. So although I don't think QM at it's current state can prove metaphysical questions, even if it could, it would be an anticlimactic reveal to me

Are you sure Marcus Aurelius and Socrates belong in blue? What was your reasoning for this placement?

What if an hour a day of not pleasureful meditation, could lead to the other 15 waking hours to be extremely blissful, would you still let go of meditation? Could you explain yourself a bit more for me?

No you're not do dumb haha, here is a quote from the fathers of QM "If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don't understand quantum mechanics" -Richard Feynman This guy was super super fucking smart when it came to QM, just to put things into perspective. While I agree that QM points to something being a bit strange about our universe, explanations from Multiverse and more probabilistic models to consciousness exist out there, and you can't really refute or add to them because it's mostly just interpretations of results without ever seeing the actual mechanism. Don't worry about understanding it, it's a slightly entertaining mess. I wish I had answers to your questions ( I don't), but good news, a lot of consciousness questions can be answered or experienced right here right now, you're bathing in consciousness atm

Wow this is a mess, I don't usually accept a video with cats and shit as an argument against a pretty clear question, but I'll entertain the video. So 11:25, that blockage and what they say after happening is what should happen if you put a detector at the front of one of the slits and know which hole it has gone through. If you know which slit has gone through via a detector, you know it did not go through the other, and it will not produce an interference pattern, just a diffusive light pattern As far as the Delayed Choice Quantum Eraser video goes, I wasn't super impressed and a lot of it feels like bro science. Quantum Mechanics was built largely on just getting results, and modeling the results without having any fucking idea with what's going on. A lot of the material of these types of videos goes into actual science, but also just whatever interpretation they feel explains it best, and because there isn't really a good understanding of why QM is the way it is, you can basically say whatever the hell you want, especially in a youtube video. They do have a good point about detectors, and you're right to say that in this case it is slightly more nuanced, when I was talking about the detector, of course something sending light at a particle and looking for a reflection or whatever detector you use would be recording that information or be available to the scientist, and would collapse the wave, however it appears that you can ignore the detector results, in which case you don't have path information, and in more complicated experiments, you can at least prove that a detector can be in a superposition state, but that's not really the simple experiment we are talking about. I found a more rigorous video, that was done more inline with the actual researchers who did the experiment, and shows how complicated the actual experiment is compared to a double slit haha

You've been really putting it to good use Haha, not the first time I've seen you use it

I prefer women too Haha, we agree on something! Actually I also appreciated your post on "rant about actualized" so we are on a roll

I would just recommend starting with questions like "what is existance" "who am i" followed by complete surrender. No making anything up, no need to imagine anything, for me this results in a lot of the awareness in my head to kind of vibrate faster and feels like my brain is clicking into place, and then some energy is released and a block feels like it was removed. You dont have to expect anything or try and make anything happen, ask the questions and surrender to the universe, the rest just kind of unfolds