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@Consilience Thank you for sharing bro. Needed to hear this. Beautiful trip report and drawing.

@randomguy123 If you feel the symptoms manifesting predominantly physically, maybe try giving massage therapy a try. It's much simpler and easier to go through than repeatedly having to ask questions as in the Sedona Method.

@Girzo Interesting. How did you commune with God? Through writing like Neale does?

@pangolin I don't think you have borderline personality disorder. It's a pretty extreme disorder. But then again I don't know you so I'm not 100% positive. It's possible you're a highly sensitive person (HSP) with a lot of emotional baggage, which makes you yo-yo through emotional highs and lows. You may have low or very low self esteem, coupled with high sensitivity, which causes you to spiral into a strong negative or positive mood based on your partner's mood. So.. maybe it's not a disorder? But is bad enough to feel like one? Just speculating. Regardless, you can overcome it. And reach a place of emotional equanimity. With time. With practice. (And perhaps with psychedelics and MDMA, if you know what you're doing). I know you'll get there

@randomguy123 Try techniques like The Sedona Method, Letting Go, The Lefkoe Method (highly recommended) When you've built the habit of facing and experiencing your pain rather than avoiding it, you could be ready to try some psychedelic, to supercharge your recovery. All the best!

@beatlemantis Stand your ground. You don't want to hear this, but the anxiety and rumination they bring in you is your own. ---- The only way is through. - Through the anxiety, self hatred, sadness, depression. When you go through them, rather than avoiding them, you will be able to stand your ground in their presence. They will no longer draw out your depression because you won't have any. ---- It takes time and practice. Be patient. Be diligent.

I ain't telling you what to do, but I encourage you to seek therapy. You can seek psychotherapy. If you can, try to get massage therapy. Massage, acupressure, acupuncture. These might be easier for you to do. They'll open the floodgates though. Which is a good thing. You need to process all the pain inside. I notice that after some of the worst periods of my life came some of the best. We can't get to clarity without going through periods of dark confusion. Hang in there bud.

I'm really sorry for what you went through dude

@Leo Gura I watched some of your awakening video today. Isn't there a point where there's too much awakening? Chris Bache said that, after going into ever deeper states of consciousness, it was time for him to stop using LSD after 20 years of use, that in a sense he'd gone too far.

My heartbreak songs Happier by Ed Sheeran 9 Crimes by Damien Rice And last but not least, Someone Like You by Adele

@Kazman Now that 2 months have passed.. did that effect of feeling total and not seeking approval from anyone persist till today? And was it worth it?

God Gives TED talk

I've been trying to get a substantial experience with 5 Meo DMT but unsuccessfully. I've tripped on it 6 times now, starting with low dosages. Until now, most of the trips ended up in vomiting. I assumed that my body is purging. But today I took a dose of 35mg insufflated and still didn't have any substantial experience. Before I thought it was due to how I was snorting it (I blew it hard, which took it to my throat, so I learned to take gentle sniffs) but I rectified that. I still have another 40mgs but I don't want to take it until I figure out why I'm not able to have any substantial experience. Please help me with suggestions. Do you have any idea why? I can do a more detailed trip report if you want.

@rnd What is consciousness? What is awareness? If you contemplate on these questions, you will get revelations of what they really are. And the longer you contemplate them the more you are likely to grasp what they really are.

@Leo Gura Thanks for the blog update.

@Nahm Thank you. I finally resolved it <3

@Leo Gura @Nahm @Salvijus @AakashIf I take some more psychedelic, what are the chances that I will have a good experience?

IT IS ABSOLUTE FUCKING HELL

IT IS SHEER AGONY

@Preetom Do you seriously think that @Leo Gura would have been able to reach his level of awareness without 5 MeO? What makes you think that?

@Leo Gura If it is true that the body gains healing ability with awakening then why is Martin Ball experiencing this? Why would you experience physical illness?

@Leonid That's the point. Surrender to the experience. Allow it to purify you.

@Leo Gura I definitely appreciate your personal journey videos. Check out Subjective Reality by Steve Pavlina. It seems very very consistent with how you are describing your experience of consciousness.

@iTommy Could you refer where you got that info on Martin Ball?

@Leonid If you want to experience ego death on LSD I would encourage you to take higher dosages of LSD I would also encourage you to take a few hits of cannabis during the come up. Cannabis has an interesting amplification effect on LSD