Joshe

It’s handled via humility. When you’ve been wrong a thousand times (as we all have) the high, conscious road is to allow humility in to resolve the dissonance, and if you submit to it, you learn to be careful with absolutes. And so speak like “it seems like” or “in my experience”. But notice speaking like that doesn’t have quite the same authoritative ring to it. So that’s why absolutes are preferred. The dissonance is greater for the one who fancies themself an authority and takes pride in being the one who knows… and they have a much harder time owning their mistakes than someone who is glad to submit to humility.

Not in my experience. One night stands can be common but as far as women wanting to just be regular fuck buddies, I have not seen plenty of those. They’re out there, but it’s not common. At least on the east coast.

I didn’t mean 100%, just that it’s almost always the case. I’ve been with quite a few women. None of them slept with me twice just for my dick. Except one nympho. I’ve been slept with and ghosted several times, but all the ones that came back, they were interested in something more than sex. This is not only true of my experience, but every one of my friends, so it’s largely accurate.

Owens frame is so powerful, he rejects cringe. Cringe does not exist. 😂 it’s all about controlling your frame bro.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I actually worked construction in my 20s and lived in the Florida keys, which is probably the heaviest drinking population in the country. I’d get shit if I didn’t want to go out drinking.

I know types who were conformist by not drinking. Squares. I kinda pity squares who never pushed fun to the extremes I did. For all those types who remained clean and sober, studying, doing the right thing, going to the movies and playing board games or doing other geeky shit while we were having the fucking time of our lives, those people don’t know what they missed. I know this because I had a square friend group as well. I experienced more joy and laughed more and harder in my 20s than 100 squares combined. Alcohol was a common element, plus drugs, sex, and good friends. Notice how there are squares in the world completely biased against alcohol. Many of these people are said to have sticks up their ass because they never really had very much fun.

Haha. It's bound to happen. Yes, I think this is the best way to go about it. Only problem is, most guys aren't going to be disciplined enough. Haha, yeah, it's like when you truly don't want them, they can't stand it. And if you're open and honest with them about it, they think "hey, not only does this guy not need me, but he is also responsible and has integrity by letting me know... I think I like him" lol. I have a buddy who I talked into telling girls upfront that he didn't want anything serious from them and he found out this kept them on the line even better than previous techniques, and now he uses this to exonerate himself when they keep coming back. "I have told them over and over".

I don't really know how to explain it. It's like I move faster, I'm more hyper, and something about a beer buzz just makes me feel more neurotic or something. It's like it's more heady, where whiskey is more body. Maybe it's just me.

I think she was saying that youngsters should not get it twisted and think that being a recluse while young is a good idea just because there are wise elders who prefer seclusion in their mid/late life years. As an introvert, I went through a somewhat social life but now, pushing 40, I've set things up to mostly be by myself. If I were to have always been a recluse, I can see how that would be problematic. You should earn your seclusion and choose it only when you've learned if/why it's the right move (which takes years of socializing and many relationships), rather than just skip to it, because you'll no doubt develop complexes if you skip it.

He should explore. Beer buzz is very different than a scotch whiskey buzz. For me, beer is almost like a neurotic hyper state but a scotch and soda has a heavier, more relaxed, nice and warm tingly feeling. And it's better at bringing logical thought to a halt and making you completely spontaneous. You should try a scotch and club soda with ice. It's an acquired taste but sip on one of those for about 20-30 minutes and you'll be good.

This usually makes the girl like you more. One night stands, no problem. But if you have sex multiple times with a girl and you know you don’t want anything more than sex, you have to hide that fact from them because if they knew you just wanted their sex and nothing else, they wouldn’t keep sleeping with you. The only way to keep getting the pussy is to make them think there might be a chance you’re interested long term. If not explicitly stated and made abundantly clear, silence signs the contract. And when the terms are brought to light, you act surprised that you didn’t know she wanted something serious and you justify your parasitic behavior. Telling women you don’t want them gets you more pussy than telling them you do. This keeps them coming back. Over, and over. Until they finally ask you to commit. At which point, your selfish ass will say “I’ve told you multiple times I don’t want anything serious”, and then continue to take her for her pussy and have to swat down her begging and pleading every 3 or 4 fucks or so. This dynamic makes using women (casual dating) hard if you’re to maintain integrity. Girls only sleep with a guy multiple times if they consider them a long term prospect. If you know from the jump you are not but continue to play the game, well…

@Leo Gura for me, reframing things as fun when they actually aren’t will never match up to providing the effortless flow that comes out of me after a few drinks. At least try it a few times. You might enjoy it.

Hey! Don’t be making fun of us who are afraid to ask the waiter for ketchup! Shits hard on the yard.

Alcohol. We’re all for altered states here to facilitate spirituality. Why not to facilitate social enjoyment? For me, there’s no amount of tricking myself that dancing or fucking off in the middle of a club is fun. That shit is not fun unless you’re buzzed. Trying to act like it is is absurd. You need alcohol to forget about the absurdity of it all so you can join in. Only problem is it’s easy to overdo it. It really sucks to bring home a prize only for you to realize you have whiskey dick. This isn’t good for self-esteem. Lol. Also, many people cant handle alcohol and they can’t process how they’re coming across. If you can read the room and calibrate your behavior while buzzed, that’s some powerful shit, if you know what to calibrate. If you’re high consciousness, metacognitive, or whatever, alcohol - in moderation - can give you quite the edge.

Examples abound. Conformity = unconscious social approval seeking. This forum itself provides fresh examples daily. For example, ass kissing. Conformity is cowardice and purposelessness, but if there is a purpose or highest good, it’s to be noticed, validated, accepted. That’s really what conformists live for. Take that away and they got nothing, which is why they need it.

Sooner or later you should outgrow strong desires for sex. After you push your member into a warm wet hole enough times, at some point, the animal disappears, you look down at the penetration point from a metacognitive view and ask: "What am I doing here?". You don't "need" sex. You need to ejaculate. Ejaculation is more fun with the real thing, but as Eskilon mentioned, once you ejaculate, it's all over. No more magic. It actually feels disgusting to slide my penis out of a vagina I just ejaculated in. And there I am, engaged in what is most likely a petty human relationship, which I now have to tend to because that's the price for what I just received. Once sex becomes as common as enjoying a tasty meal, the magic of it diminishes, the same way the magic and pleasure of all things diminish from repeat experience. If one were deprived of sex in their early years, hasn't had much of it, and/or has narcissistic tendencies, it makes sense that sex would be a hang up for them.

Just because something becomes the focal point of attention does not mean you're attached to it. Anything can become the focal point and many things influence what the focal point becomes. Desire is a big influence, but not the only influence. In stillness, with eyes closed, it's easy for sounds to become the focal point. When the sounds cease, it's the nature of mind for the focal point to change. What it shifts to could depend on what you had for breakfast, who or what is in your current environment, stress levels, etc. Attention is opportunistic, hence the "attention economy". I'd say attention is more often hijacked by the external than it is internally directed towards one's desires/interest. (ads, horn beeps, crowd noise, communicating with people, sensory data like smells, loud noises, movement detection, etc.) It's the interpretation of the focal point that is more shaped by your "interests", while the focal point itself is more shaped by environment, recent circumstances, habits of mind, etc.

Men don’t suffer from premature ejaculation. Women do.

Yeah, you might be right. I take your feedback seriously because I know I’m prone to procrastination via strategy and intellect. You could just go do the first thing that needs done and not worry about where it fits into the scheme of life, and that would indeed be simpler, but it’s hard to become competent in these areas without strategy and developing principles and abiding by them. The reason I structured it like that is because if you attempt to shore up all these areas simultaneously, it doesn’t work because there’s too much to handle. If you try to get your finances in order, not only do you have to come up with a system for financial management, you have to come up with operating principles or rules to live by. Setting and abiding by those rules involves strategy and integration, which takes time. And I used ”1 year” just to say it could take some time, because you have to strategize and integrate. There’s definitely a trap of intellectualization though. Most of us have bad habits that prevent us from becoming our ideal self. So if we’re to become our ideal self, which involves becoming competent in the management of life, we have to remove those bad habits. Mastery wasn’t the best word. I just meant being able to fully integrate the habits and routines such that you abide by them effortlessly. And of course, they're all interdependent. It's harder to adopt such a strategy once you're already in the thick of life. I was envisioning it for youngsters. I'd be glad to go back to when I was 18 and spend a season of my life doing nothing but surviving and building those habits. It often is, but I don't see any other way to reach an ideal. IME, they don't just materialize.

Yes, and using it like this would strengthen critical thinking and communication, build vocabulary, etc. If you use it once per day like “how do I articulate this?”, you’d see massive gains over 1-2 years. Most people use AI like OP described, but intelligent people don’t use it like that. Intelligent people will be enhanced by AI, and the rest, AKA those who don’t give a fuck, will be dumbed down by it, and it has to be this way as a consequence of how they are. In the scheme of human evolution, might has been replaced by intelligence. The mightiest is no longer the fittest. The dumb do things like buy ATVs for their kids, drive motorcycles, don’t understand invisible pathogens, and they fall behind everyday as the intelligent keep pushing forward with learning, thus creating disparity in their usefulness and in their ability to survive and thrive. If humanity survives, evolution will eventually weed out those who don’t give a fuck.

I agree, but this logical approach to emotion is easier said than done. Thoughts don’t arise in a vacuum or on their own. They’re attached to one another and many are attached to formed conclusions (beliefs). But it’s not only a problem of preexisting thoughts and conclusions, but also inertia. So rather than try to fight such complexity or consciously construct a new positive reality every moment a contributor to the negative arises, one can simply stop actively creating the negative one. Simply stopping the negative is much more doable than switching from negative to positive. But IME, most people don’t want to stop. Why? Because they are biased towards their conclusions and seeing what they want to see. If you’ve ever tried to talk a depressed person out of it, you’ll notice the vast majority will say they want out but when you attempt to remove what got them there, they resist. As such, my approach is to first make them realize their thoughts and beliefs have energetic implications, and the implications of their currently held thoughts and beliefs have wound them up in depression. Hence, one must choose to stop the negative mentation. If they reject this, they are at the mercy of circumstance, as they’re essentially tying their hands behind their backs and refusing to self-direct. Thoughts and collections of thoughts (stories) are energetic inputs. The mind can only process so much at once. You cannot process sadness or depression on a roller coaster because the mind can only be in one domain at a time. So what’s happening there on a roller coaster? The negative mentation is being ceased by you being put in a situation that makes it impossible for you to cling to sad stories. The slate of consciousness is being wiped clean of all your negative mentations. Your mind is being forced onto something else. This “bypassing” can be learned. It’s just a matter of identifying the types of thoughts and beliefs that contribute to depression, and bypass them, although not as effectively as a roller coaster. Essentially, depression should be starved out via actions or thoughts that feed it nothing. Keeping the negative stories off the slate of consciousness. The solution isn’t to choose new mentations, it’s to cease existing ones. Because depression is a habit. Habits break when you stop tending to them. 40 hours of roller coasters, 8 hours a day for 5 days sounds like a good start. Bungee jump, scuba dive, etc. but the depression will return once you get back home and start engaging those negative mentations again.

Yes, without the prospect of progress, depression is likely. But the main trap is in the present moment when the negative energy seems inescapable because the mind can’t envision or see a path to a good future. A sense of doom washes over and haunts them. This is why strong self-efficacy is important and why it’s dangerous for people who lack self-efficacy to deal in ideas such as “life is ultimately meaningless”.

Not sure if it applies to everyone but Tony Robbins once said if he could sum up human happiness in a word, it would be “progress”. This has been true for me. Seems to me that suicidal ideation is a problem of energy. Every thought has an energy impact. If you have 1000 negative thoughts, your energy will be shit. 1000 positive thoughts, it will be good. What is the result of dozens or hundreds of negative thoughts daily, over the course of many years? The answer is: needing to not feel like shit anymore. Needing the negative energy that dominates you to cease. Taking responsibility for your mental activity and doing something about it is the way out, for those who truly want out. Because if you were not plagued by negative energy, you would want to live, to explore, to engage. I recommend getting intimate with James Allen.

Loss, empathy, and beauty make you cry. Thoughts trigger emotions. Stories trigger them even more. You can build channels or pathways in your psyche for every emotion. The more you beat those paths (create stories and dwell there), the more powerful they become for activating the emotion. If you create high-fidelity channels for empathy and beauty, when you watch the puppy video, you might cry out of empathy, and you might cry even harder when you stack the beauty of the rescue on top of that. With beauty, it’s in the way that you process stories and apply previously derived meaning onto the current reality. I can make myself cry if I spend time fleshing out those emotions, but I haven’t done that in a long time, so fidelity has been lost, so I did not cry at the video. There was once a time when the sight of the sky could make my eyes water. Or I’d add my own beauty to a random song and then sob. That’s how beauty makes you cry. Crying is very spiritual and cathartic. I recommend learning how to do it, and it can be learned.