UNZARI

im 17 years old still a senior in highschool. earlier in the year i tried to commit suicide and was diagnosed with bipolar. last night i smoked some weed for the first time in a while and had an awakening to my own being, i questioned "what is this being?" for a while now ive been losing friends, and i deactivated all my social media for around 2 weeks now. I have my girlfriend and my best friend, both of which happen to be into spirtuality. However my girlfriend has been annoyed with my seemingly "lack of drive" for life, and lately when we talk theres a negative vibe. I just told her were on a break for a week. My best friend and i are always chill and lowkey so hes here when im ready to talk. All i can feel is existential loneliness. Its beautiful and peaceful at times but also depressing. Everything was just a story. When i go home no one takes intrest in me unless they want to yell at me or tell me something about themselves. When i go to school at this point no one cares about me. Even the relationship with my girlfriend has been hard because i am dysfunctional during sex and even though shes been very supportive, i cant help but feel like i just let her down. Like ive let everyone down. And the way she feels about this "lack of drive' gives me the impression that if the only person i love cant accept me for who i am in the moment- then whats the point? any advice?

im in highschool and got into watching actualized.org about a year ago. i drove my previous girlfriend crazy by talking about all this stuff a little too much and even though she was kinda open, she still thought i was crazy and we ended up breaking up. however im in a new relationship with a girl WHO UNDERSTANDS. she even has watched some of leo's videos. Shes open to all my ideas and we have fun convos about it and im very blessed to have her. my point is, dont give up on people. show who u are to them and somebody may come to you! you just need to present yourself in a way they can relate with

im in highschool and got into watching actualized.org about a year ago. i drove my previous girlfriend crazy by talking about all this stuff a little too much and even though she was kinda open, she still thought i was crazy and we ended up breaking up. however im in a new relationship with a girl WHO UNDERSTANDS. she even has watched some of leo's videos. Shes open to all my ideas and we have fun convos about it and im very blessed to have her. my point is, dont give up on people. show who u are to them and somebody may come to you! you just need to present yourself in a way they can relate with

last night with my best friend and i took molly. i experienced an overflow of love for him and everything and i let out a lot of negative emotions and it healed our relationship. now today i just smoked weed and i questioned my entire reality and saw that THIS IS ALL CONSCIOUSNESS, all my old thought patterns were a total distraction.