nistake

Can y'all recommend me some 'high-consciousness' anime series? It's okay if it's mainstream, I actually don't really like too obscure animes.

Definitely the first one.

I think these are great examples even though they're fictional: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y4b-DEkIps

Well, don't wanna burst your bubbles, but meditation is not something you can truly benefit from in a few months. You have to bite the bullet and put in the work every single days for years without expectations. I mean, obviously you'll have some expectations, that's fine, but if you only meditate in order to obtain certain skills in a certain period of time, you're gonna have a bad time.

Umm sir, this is Wendy's

Yup, this is the answer right here. I know it can be frustrating, but don't guilt yourself into choosing one over the other. Sit down with an empty sheet of paper and starting writing about what you REALLY want. For this time period, set aside every single judgement about yourself and the world and apply radical honesty. Like anything goes. If it is material success, fitness, wealth, why not? Go for it. Give yourself permission to work for these things. In fact, you can even strive for material success consciously, which is obviously a better way than forcing it.

It's one hell of a ride, isn't it?

This is gonna sound radical, but hey, what not give it a try? How about you start enjoying your negative motivations/emotions? Like you'd systematically sit down and accept and get off on everything that comes up. If you could to that on a regular basis, your problem would be solved since you don't need to force yourself to be positive. You'd automatically transform your negativity into positivity just by loving your negativity.

@Consilience Sorry, I don't mean to derail the topic, but what's your stance on shadow work?

Yup, pretty much this.

@Someone here Well, if you're fully conscious of your sexuality, you shouldn't really feel depressed after fapping. On the contrary, in fact. I don't mean that you allow yourself to fap or watch certain kinds of porn. I think there's a deeper issue at play.

Maybe you're repressing your sexuality and the way you're trying to handle it (i.e. fapping) is dysfunctional. Thus the lethargic emotions.

Yup, I think that's what's going on. You seem to be quite self-aware. Yeah, for starters maybe you should avoid watching this kind of stuff. If were you though, I wouldn't repress it. If a shadow aspect of your psyche is repressed, it only gets darker. It needs to be integrated and dealt with in a healthy manner. Imo the best book on shadow work is Exsistential Kink by Carolyn Elliott. Relatively short, practical and easy to read.

My favorite description of God is nothing and everything at the same time.

Maybe you have some unconscious desire to experience violence and brutality. Your shadow attracts it like a magnet, it gets off on it and at the same time, your conscious ego self tries to repress it vehemently. If that's the case, you're gonna struggle with this until you're willing to embrace and love your desire for violence. Of course this doesn't mean you should take some actual physical action on it, it can and should be done via shadow work. Let me know if you need a book recommendation or some pointers. And well, remember: what the unconscious wants, it gets.

"IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO - Las Vegas Edition"

That's mainstream science for ya

I'm not sure that this answer's gonna satisfy you, but I would say that this is a phase that every serious meditator has to go through. Maybe try to ramp up the duration of your sits incrementally. As your practise deepens, you'll see results, that's for sure. However, you have to be patient and consistent. I totally get that sometimes it's frustrating and you feel like you're stagnating. That's pretty much part of the path.

Because if you help others, you help yourself. (Just to short-circuit another 15 pages long solipsism debate )

I second this. Heard from many-many sources that this book is the ultimate solution to smoking. No idea how accurate that is though, don't have personal experience with it.

Videos and books from Adyashanti helped me tremendously when it comes to meditation. He's really great at conveying difficult and paradoxical concepts in a practical manner.

That's pretty cool actually!

Happiness is not about pleasure, dopamine hits, peak experiences and feeling good. True happiness is about inner peace, silence, equanimity regardless of your external circumstances.