nistake

It seems to me that you're seeking freedom in the form of conceptualization (thoughts, ideas, emotions, answers, etc). Am I right? Correct me if I'm wrong though.

This insight always helps me: Consciousness doesn't occur in my body, my body occurs in consciousness.

Nothing wrong with you, you're doing fine. This is just the social conditioning talking. The more you let go of these unconsciously formed beliefs, the better it's gonna get.

A counterintuitive move could be being alone as much as you can. Contemplating, meditating, journaling. The more you get to know yourself, the more neurotic behavior patterns you can discover and let go. When you realize that no 'other' person can make you happy, only yourself, then you'll be able to be truly authentic and confident. You might also realize that you don't have anything to lose, so why not let your personality shine with all your quirks.

Adyashanti, my main man ? Here's a bit longer interview with him, really insightful stuff: https://www.thesunmagazine.org/issues/384/who-hears-this-sound

@Nahm posted this a few years ago in a solipsism thread which is a quite brilliant imo:

Thanks for sharing, this sounds quite exciting! I always use my handwriting for journaling, but I'll definitely need to give this a try.

That's more like it!

Nonduality is NOT solipsism. But the ego-mind may not see it that way at first. It is true that you are the only thing in existence. You created every human being that exists. Of course the trick is, we're talking about the universal YOU, not the personal you. It's very simple logic: if nonduality is true, there is no division between anything. There is certainly no division between you/other. You are your own mother. You created Actualized.org to help you awaken. You even wrote this sentence. You are God in every literal sense. The ego is of course afraid of this. And it may be a shock to the system when you first start to realize how radical nonduality really it. It may feel like madness. Of course it's not madness. It's TRUTH. But TRUTH is a radical thing. It requires a very deep surrender. In the end, once you fully surrender, it will be fine. Great even. Nonduality, at the highest degrees of it, is extremely radical. It will shock and terrify the ego-mind. That is the #1 obstacle which keeps people unenlightened. You have to surrender to the radicalness of it. You have to surrender to the madness. It's not really madness. But it will appear to be madness relative to the normie paradigm you are used to. Enlightened people are basically insane by all conventional standards. They just happen to be insane in a functional way. And they don't frame it that way because it would scare off newbies. The lite degrees of nonduality can feel pleasant and nice. The deepest degrees of nonduality can feel downright terrifying and depressing. And the final stage is peace and wonder.

Note: I do know that language is inherently dualistic. There's no way around that, so I'm just gonna use words like "I", "my", "mine" for simplicity's sake. In 2017, I hit a rock bottom. I didn't have friends, I was alone, I was desperate and I was suffering. I needed to find a way out or else I have no idea what would've happened. That's when Leo's meditation video popped up in my Youtube feed. I intuitively and immediately knew that I found hope. I started practising right away even though I didn't know what I was doing. I kept at meditating on a daily basis and at the same time I started consuming Leo's other content. Slowly things got a bit better in my life, but I hit a few rock bottoms still. Since the past 4 years, I've went through confusion, letting go of egoic attachments, shadow issues, endless seeking, ego backlashes and you know, the whole shebang. Nonetheless, kept meditating, comtemplating, reading, exercising and restructuring my life in a holistic manner. Fast-forward to today, the seeker identity fell away. I finally realized what the great sages and gurus meant when they said you don't need to seek, you're enlightened already. It was really under my nose all along, too close to me. So in a sense, it is like a cosmic joke, but I feel like the years of seeking were definitely necessary after all. Now, I'm not saying that I'm super blissed out and everything is happiness and rainbows. It's like a subtle silent peace took over which is always in the background even If I'm busy with work, dealing with people, or just doing everyday stuff. Egoic tendencies and thoughts still come up but I quickly see them as just empty thoughts which refer to nobody really and I move on. I know that there are many facets to awakening (God/Love/Infinity, etc), so I'm really excited to see where Life takes me. Rupert Spira or Adyashanti said that enlightenment is not the end, it's just the beginning. This is not an AMA thread or anything. I just posted this in the hopes of inspiring others who are also on the path. Also, as you can probably imagine, I can't really share this with anybody IRL. They'd think I went completely insane. Which I did if we can consider the egoic consciousness sane Anyway, I don't really need that drama, so there's that. Super thanks to @Leo Gura, definitely the most holistic teacher out there! Peace out ✌️

Man, what a ride. Good to read that you're doing okay.

@WelcometoReality @dflores321 @Nahm ? @Natasha Hah, then 'you' probably noticed it before 'me'

@Someone here I'd consider watching the episode of nihilism. He tackles this very issue that you're describing.

❤️ Exactly! Here and now is where it's at.

If I'm being honest, this sounds like a bit neurotic to me. How about just relaxing and stopping with the endless seeking for a while? I'd be careful with the projections.

I'd say you're not yet ready to surrender to your true nature. Maybe shadow issues and/or egoic attachments? As for meaning: Yeah, awareness/your true nature is inherently 'empty' and meaningless. However, why not create meaning? Why not take meaninglessness full circle?

@FlyingLotus What a neat video! Thanks for collecting these blogposts, super useful.

Rationalists/materialists

This insight just popped into my mind the other day: If you look for enlightenment, you won't find it. If you don't look for enlightenment, you especially won't find it.

@The Buddha The second one is spiritual awakening in a nutshell

And a little bit of dark humor (sorry had to post this): https://i.imgur.com/AuO9FEn.png

What kind of game dev? I mean Unity/Unreal and coding stuff or 2D/3D design?