@kieranperez As a fellow human being with idealistic tendencies, I think I understand where you're coming from. These are my thoughts on the matter... if they resonate with you, cool. If not, forget about them.
Everyone is dealing with something in their lives that they believe is blocking them from getting what they want. But what they think is blocking them is not really what's in the way. I'll give yo an example. Right after I graduated a few years ago, I landed a full time job in engineering. But I hated everything about the job. The people, the work, the hours, the town. Everything. The one thing I wished I could do at the time was leave everything behind and go on a long term road trip. I would look outside from my cubicle and wish that I was breathing that fresh air and enjoying the sun. I would fantasize about the places I would go to and the people I would meet. Guess what, eventually I ended up getting laid off. I had saved up some money; I had a car; I had a dog who loved adventure. But I spent my time bartending a few nights, sleeping, watching TV, and being bored. I never even left for a week. I know you mentioned that you eventually want to renounce everything to seek enlightenment/God and I respect that. But what I would ask you is, what do your days look like? Do you meditate and do yoga every single day? Do you read? Do you go to events that could potentially help you in your journey? Or are your goals just fantasies? Maybe, like you said, you are too comfortable. This is just for you to reflect upon.
I know how tedious and boring the day to day life can be. In my case, I tend to use ideas, books, and inspirational material on the internet to escape the 'messiness' of life. But I am starting to see that there is much wisdom to be learned from the things you do everyday. By engaging full heatedly with whatever is in front of you, you can make your life joyful and a practice of meditation. Not to be too poetic but this very moment you're in is as good of a time as any for a hero's journey.
"Either you change or you postpone the change. If you HAD to change, you would have changed already. Any sort of reflection or processing you do prior to making a change is often the ego's way of delaying the change. Processing is something you do after changing in order to integrate the new data." This is something I learned from a spiritual teacher called Bentinho Massaro.
You are young. You have a lot of room for error. If there was a good time for you to make stupid decisions, this would be it. Of course be responsible, but don't be too cautious either.
