Rob456

I added some more information at the end. @Preetom that would explain the why the beach causes a same but lesser effect. @winterknight I'm well better now thanks. That was about a year ago. Could you tell me a bit more though? @i am I AM I wish.

I'm unconsciouss and hooked to stimulants. I'm so distracted that I forget simple important stuff that I would remember if I just sat still for 5 minutes. I'm so hooked to these stimulants that I'm too impatient to get up and take a shower. My hygiene is poor because of this. I don't shower for week(s) and sometimes a month. I'm: • depressed, victim and miserable • masturbating everyday • netflix while eating junk food • gaming + youtube 15h/day So can you help me explain this: 1. I take shower 2. Dry up 3. Come out 4. I'm Absolutely pure and cleansed • Unhooked and and cleansed from all kinds of stimulations. • walking and sitting is stimulating enough. • Effortlessly and helplessly mindfull. • I can sit still for hours without being bored • My mindfulness is off the charts • I do everything in slow motion cuz im so patient and its so stimulating. I move, think, talk and everything consciously slowly. • No cravings or sense of urgency. • Music is like magic • Movies are intensly immersing • Video games are as if im discovering them for the first time. • Chores are not chores. They're just another stimulating experience. • I see everything with fresh eyes like a newborn baby. • My mind is silent. • Im content with the present moment. What the fuck?! Howwww? Edit: This is all gone and I'm back to the usual unconsciousness within 1-3 hours as cravings and monkey mind gradually start to creep up and depending how quick i give in to them. These "cleansing" showers happen more frequently at some times in my life than others. Temperature of the water didn't seem to have any effect. Duration skews towards causation. My mental state(weather meditative or daydreaming) didn't seem to matter. I suspect the biggest factor being how long its been since i showered. I resisted getting in the shower and then once I was in I resisted getting out. Could it be that I finally let go of the resistance? After a long day at the beach it has a similar cleansing effect. I've had these since I was a child. I never questioned it and I thought it was normal. As I got more serious with personal development and getting my shit together I stared using this to my benefit. I started taking showers more and more frequently without any resistance. With each shower the effects lessened till it eventually was indistinguishable from placebo. Effects, if any, were subtle. I am disappoointed. They had tremendous value but I abused it and now its gone.

Got no access to modafinil or just want to see how it may feel like without actually taking it? Depressed? Skip a night's sleep. Same consciousness, mood and energy benefits + jitteriness and difficulty staying awake (but when you are awake, you are super-awake) I used to accidentally do this years ago and at that time I had emotional mastery along with soberness/alertness although back then didn't what it was or how I got it, only that it felt awesome. It's only recently that I had come to the realization that was most likely because that I would stay up late and sometimes not sleep at all. YOU CAN'T USE THIS REGULARLY, sleep deprivation is no joke. Once each or second week should be fine but don't quote me on that. The good thing is tho, what you learn from being in the raised consciousness state (for example: emotional control / not caring what people think / how to tap into soberness) will stay with you for the next few days. So I would imagine on the long run these would stack up and vastly speed up your progress. I have tried a bit of modafinil in the past and so I know how it feels but I stopped because of heart attack concerns. I had heart palpitations along with other indications of heart attack and I even blacked out for half a second while sitting once. So despite knowing how much I would benefit from the consciousness and energy boost I am scared to try again. But luckily I have discovered this alternative which is good enough. Let us know if you have any experience with this or you decide to try it.

@Shin The thing is thought. I only get it occasionally and doesn't last more than 3 hours. Maybe it would if I sat and didn't do anything, but as I start doing normal stimulating activities such as playing video games or eating or socializing, it starts to go away. I used to get this after showers and naps.

As an amateur in spirituality I think it will help you. I've for the last month started cold showers as well but without a set frequency or requirement. I started because of the energy boosts but I fell in love with it for another reason. Facing fear. When I'm facing the fear I'm reassuring myself that "I always do what's emotionally most difficult". I'm always happy while doing it, because I prove to myself that in fact do face my fears and honor that principle. But what I'm interested in is: Do you also at some point of those 5 minutes just surrender to the discomfort? Do you even surrender at all? How long do you resist it before you do? When do you become conscious of your self-made resistance and decide to let go?

@Shin @Recursoinominado Thanks for the replies. It sounds a bit more spiritual than what I thought. What about that feeling you get after unhooking from all sorts of stimulations? That state when your vision, feeling, hearing and everything feels so much more vibrant as if experiencing it for the first time. When all urges have been quietened or vanished. When just sitting, walking or looking is stimulating enough for you do it for hours? What is that? Is there a term for that and how does it relate to spiritual purification (if it does)?

Would really like to know if we're thinking about the same thing.