Mada_

I'd suggest reading the Detransition Reddit thread.

I've done a lot of dating in the past year and this is the first time it's come up. We've been together for a couple of months, she has described herself in conversation as "feminine defining" so I concluded that was that. We were in bed the other night and she told me it's a very new thing, and she prefers they/them pronouns, and asked if it changed anything. My issue isn't with her identity or how she feels in her body, its having to dictate other peoples language, and other peoples language being integral to that identity. I just think it's silly tbh. If we were best friends I wouldn't even think about it, but we are in a romantic relationship so I want us to have more congruence in our world-views.

And you still get those mystical experiences as benchmarks for what you get to come back to when you're grounded. You know there is genuine fulfillment in spiritual work, but we've got a foundation to work on first.

I think a lot of people can relate to this. Your description of your current state shows uncanny resemblance to my experience being 17/18 years of age, was doing a few hours of spiritual work a day and was experimenting with psychedelics. Especially felt disconnected from others, family, having Leo's voice spinning around my head. It will pass my friend, especially because you are being proactive. I eventually realised I was neglecting my material life, and I could do spiritual work but had to be dead serious about my survival and success. I spoke to a lot of councilors at this time, they guided me to some insights that stuck with me, but ultimately I realised the less I looked after myself, the more I needed help, and the more I looked after myself and the less I needed help. Not mastering the three base chakras is really grounded advice, Leo talks about this in his dangers of spiritual work video, not having a handle on that bottom rung in the hierarchy of needs seems to not fare well for many people doing spiritual work. I remember teetering on insanity, I used to do meditations, and would force myself to laugh because I believed god was trying to get me to fully let go through laughter, even if it meant freaking out my family in the other room. I isolated myself in my final year of high school because my debauched friends were "distracting me from my growth". Pillars of what grounded me: - coming back to the question "what can I be certain of?" (huge! I've wasted years misinterpreting what Leo teaches and not thinking for myself, it will take years to integrate what Leo teaches) - putting my life into an existential context; might not be best for you if you're really vulnerable. But this was one of Sadghuru's concepts in his Inner Engineering course - I contemplate my own suffering, my own life relative to the whole of reality... Basically arriving on the insight that if I suffer, life will continue, if I die, life will continue. This has been really grounding for me. - socialising, doing serious night-game and day-game everyday for 7 months - being incredibly disciplined with my diet... started mercury detoxification (huge commitment and financial strain, but I'm on my way, hopefully I can get it done as swiftly and safely as possible) - holotropic breathwork/integrating with a councilor... Feeling deeply into the emotions in my body - the LP course - moving out of my parent's house - starting a job that exposed me to a whole world of new experience; I started caring for people with disabilities, how my government deals with such people, I had no idea what people and their families go through, or how much I take for granted my own independence - moving in with chill housemates so I'm socialising a lot

I'd rather not, it's inviting a silly amount of drama into one's lives and would hurt my partner which I'd hate doing. I remember upsetting my girlfriend as a teenager and just feeling horrible in my body. You see these Tristan Tate types on YouTube managing 15 women he's dating, such a stupid and huge time investment.

I really appreciate this response. I've been thinking along these lines in the car on the way home from work today - eventually it may be a value disconnect that I can't get over, I've decided I'm just happy to go along for the ride. Other areas of the relationship are definitely awesome, I envisioned a partner who would be willing to learn and do healing practices with me, and she's really keen to start doing this stuff with me. I'll stay out of her way regarding her personal choices, she has no moral obligations, the world will not stop spinning if she eats a chocolate bar.

I started dating this girl recently, I'm attracted to her, she is genuinely open minded, stage Green and I enjoy being around her, I can fully emotionally relax with her. She holds this very liberal view of food and has this story that people shouldn't get into dieting because viewing foods as anything but "just food" is an eating disorder. As far as I can tell she has not moral obligation to adhere to any sort of system regarding her diet and lifestyle - however based on my own research I would consider this wise.... Basically I think her view is unwise, I think she is ruining her chances at being happy and to self-actualize. She sees coaches and has an interest in Self-Actualization work, but as far as I can tell if she wanted to deepen such work she would stay at step 0 by neglecting her biology. David Deida advises that criticism will not fare well and she will interpret it as an insult, and that it is a better approach to just love and praise her and that the ''behaviour will correct''. I've got to be careful here because if I am praising her so that she "corrects a behaviour", that's manipulation. If everyone "had" to eat "healthy", they probably would, but they evidently don't, so there probably isn't some divine rule about it. Honestly I think I can accept her fully, if it becomes a deal breaker I'm happy to cross that bridge when I get to it, if we break up I'll just go back to game.

I noticed cognitive enhancement after taking 1000mg Taurine a few times a day.

"Last week I used" Im saying this is the wrong frame. Are you getting that? - when I gave an example of how I was successful in this situation, I didn't "use" anything, I just said what came to my head. Bro just say anything. Free associate. Great communication isn't completely regimented, it's when you totally relax and are saying whatever, you're being creative and spontaneous. Boring, reserved, second guessing, treading softly are descriptions of most guys trying to get better at dating, you're not alone here. Cool that you're taking risks, be careful about Julian Blanc style negging, being rude or mean to anyone isn't necessary.

Just keep talking, it's either a shit test or relevant to the conversation. Even if it's her telling you she's not interested, you still have time to turn the interaction around with your charm. You don't necessarily need to handle it like a sales objection, this is a sort of Mystery Method type question (if she says this, do this), can clearly work but state based game is what Leo is talking about in his videos. Just don't filter yourself, what pops into your head next? A girl said this to me once and I paused for a second and said "I am not upset about that at all, I'd be lying if I said I'm sorry to hear that, you're gorgeous" I just spoke my mind and she melted. Saw her again the next week.

There's a reason women crave carbohydrates the week before their period. The carbs help cultivate some chemical/hormone which results feeling more calm whilst menstruating, I forgot what its called I think it starts with a P. Ketogenic diets can make menstruation really uncomfortable.

Thanks this is good advice, learning about biological processes like inflammation was an absolute turning point for the effort I put into my health. People take ability in general for granted - that was the key insight I got from working as a disability carer. During the day I'd help someone with Cerebral Palsy wipe their ass, then in the evening have a shower and think "omg this is so easy for me, it's so crazy how independent I am, this won't be here forever"

Like sugary cereals, pasta, bread, enjoys baking cinnamon scrolls. The standard stuff most Aussies grew up with. There's enough silly debate on this forum about what one should and shouldn't eat, I'm more concerned she doesn't hold it as a value or pursue it as a topic. I'm not that interested in policing her food choices, she would need to experiment to see what works for her. I tweak my diet like every few months at least. Edit: sorry silly isn't the right word, it obviously has utility, but it could go on for ages.

Stress and misery? Stress and misery was when I had a binge eating disorder, was completely ungrounded and couldn't get a straight answer out of any doctor. There is too many differing opinions on health and nutrition, but most of them point to eating real food and not processed food. It's not necessary to my question about what precisely my partner eats, health is a lifelong study, I'm more concerned that she isn't interested in it as a study. How can you be on a Self Actualization forum promoting junk food? It is such a hard addiction to break, it's not going to kill her but it will keep her from her full potential.

I smiled reading this, could be used as sales copy for a pickup course haha. I relate to your mindset so much, I remember being in a club on a Thursday standing in front of girls feeling almost inferior to them, but being in awe of their beauty and style. It's growing pains my friend. Keep at the approaches.

Dude you don't know how 5-meo will mix with your medication. There was a guy on here before covid who couldn't sleep, he boiled it down to the 5-meo mixing with another western medication he was taking.

From my perspective none of this permanently justifies eating inflammatory food. Inflammation is an immune reaction, meaning you're either making yourself sick with what you're eating or allowing your body to heal. If someone is recovering from literal starvation restricting calories wouldn't be wise advice. As for people healing from trauma, how will they fully integrate their trauma if their food choices killing their gut flora and therefore making them depressed, or exposing them to heavy metals so they have adhd, its hard to do inner work with adhd. I have never tracked calories or successfully limited my quantities of food. I eat as much as I feel like, am in love with preparing whole foods and enjoy everything I eat. I used to skip classes at school to stuff myself until I ached.

https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/australia-becomes-first-country-to-recognise-psychedelics-as-medicines-20230203-p5chs6.html?fbclid=PAAaaEID0BcqCfqDIzLTNJE5xB-sCmOcrIVQow1HfbMmuxTWPMHK_78rd0RLw

I recently listened to the 6 Pillars of Self Esteem Audiobook a couple times through. One of the pillars is Self-Assertiveness. This inspired me to list my boundaries in my commonplace book (I can't believe I hadn't already done this). These are three solid boundaries I have drawn from 22 years of my life experience, definitely open to change: - I don't consume anything that I don't want to. Someone buys me a drink, I don't have to drink it, it is Christmas lunch with my family, I will sit there with an empty plate and socialise. I choose what goes in my body and nobody else has autonomy over this. - I don't let people discourage me from doing anything constructive. No appointment with anyone can interfere with my current practices e.g. Yoga, Self-Help courses I'm doing. - if somebody hasn't researched or thought about a topic, I don't have to continue the conversation.

That's a good point, there are definitely nuances and exceptions. E.g. with my boundary about people stopping me from positive habits. Usually I go to sleep with a taped mouth for health reasons, but when my girlfriend stays over she asks me not to. I'm sort of happy to because she only stays over once every week/fortnight.

Dude I've seen this kind of mindset applied IRL, I lived with and have been around Red Pill guys. Your fundamental beliefs around masculinity are flawed, and it will undoubtedly sabotage your results with women. 'The Boxing Ring' will ruin your chance at cognitive development. Any dreams of a deep perspective or profound contemplation will be ruined. Even your communication will suffer from frequent trauma to the head. There are other Rites of Passage for men, a good one is Game. Ice baths, public speaking, wilderness survival, jiu jitsu... there are other ways to challenge and shape yourself without hurting your brain. David Deida is a good role model for masculinity.

I was wondering this today @Leo Gura A self help video game would be a dope niche for someone's LP regardless.

How does Tate end up on this forum? You would have watched Leo's Spiral Dynamics Series years ago, but you're noting "insights" from some Stage Red guy who would pimp your mother. People like Tate are mistaken for world philosophers tragically, Tate isn't a guy with a worthwhile perspective, he is a person with niche skills. Sure if you want to emulate his skills, take notes - write his biography, sure. But you'll end up with brain damage from combat sports, health issues from the shit he eats, and as we've seen recently you'll end up in jail.

This is all fair except for the drinking part, you not being self assertive enough to not drink is on you.

Dude drop this shit, you know it is silly. You are exposing yourself and those around you direct to Antimony when smoking. Leo mentioned some sort of organic vape once, maybe research stuff like that as a transition. How can you self actualize whilst breathing heavy metals?