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I think, and the thought is being reinforced by the above comments, that people have very different ideas about what patriotism actually means. In order to effectively debate its merits in this type of forum, we should really have one agreed upon definition of the word to work from.

I've dealt with similar issues and Aldo's advice above is definitely a good start. Part of it is a process of learning to stop focusing on these feelings and to shift that focus to positive things (if you really look, you will find many positive things about your life). Another thing I would suggest doing is accepting that all of these things you tell yourself - beating yourself up, thinking others are better than you, thinking there is anything wrong with you - are all lies. You want to stop telling yourself these things because they are made up and, by focusing on them, you perpetuate them and start to believe them. All of this is a daily practice and it might not happen overnight but I can say pursuing these ideas has greatly improved my own life over a relatively short period of time.

I think you should try many different things to find the things that best help you relax your mind. For me there have been two important factors when choosing these things - if it helps me "zone out" (for me a TV show I don't have to really pay attention to) or if it forces my mind to focus on one immediate thing (like reading fiction). Either of these results, in my experience, leads to a relaxed mind. But what produces these results for you will require some search and experimentation.