TOO MUCH LIFE LESSONS LEARNT. Thank you, bro. Good to feel that someone cares haha.
JOURNALING:.... Which part of me is wounded? ... 2 things: My mind and my social status. From love,sympathy,compassion... to respect,admiration and trust, everything got exploited and played. This is not the first time, but a huge one. Those specific people ... I respected/admired them, even more than my parents. And that particular girl, I thought everything is true, so I let myself overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions, even though I suspected a great deal. I even told them I have trust issues and not to manipulate me. In the end, only to realize, everything was a trap to humiliate me on public. I mean if they want something from me, they should have negotiated with me. They should have talked to me first. But without warnings and explanations, they deceived the crap out of me..(SHOULD I REALLY WRITE DOWN THE DETAILS?)
So with everything combined...I got traumatized.(getting back-stabbed is the worst)
Maybe I missed something, but I don't feel like I did anything wrong. I was just staying by myself. All I ever did was mentioned them a couple of times. Maybe I am unaware, but I don't feel like I did anything wrong to them.....( No matter the case, they really should have demanded their request first.)
Now I am dying to move on, but I can't. EVERYTHING IS TOO ONE-SIDED, with too much falsehood. I am getting framed, and I don't want dark history in my life bro.
(( Moreover, if they won't tell my faults directly to me, I wouldn't know. Subliminal messages would not work here! ))
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As for the social status, I got angry and frustrated at their silence, so basically I wrote down vulgar words and curses publicly. Because I unleashed quite a lot of negative emotions, I now think people view me as trash(Not that I care too much about social status but status = opportunity, right)
SO THIS IS BASICALLY A SUMMARY..............
Btw, Gabriel Cthoo is my account (In case y'all might know)