solo

now we just need a mobile app & it'd be perfect!

always down to exchange music

why is it important for you to encourage others to begin the journey towards self-actualization? what types of things do you do for fun?

It sounds like you want a relationship with your mother and brother, but are hesitant because of how they've behaved towards you in the past. At this point, what have you got to lose? I think you would regret not saying anything and just continuing on with the phone calls as you have been. But consider this: past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. If you've brought up these issues in the past, they may react in a similar manner as they did before. They may frame it as if you are making personal attacks against them, which will undoubtedly cause them to misinterpret why you are bringing it up in the first place. I believe that half of any solution lies in defining the problem, and from what you've written, the problem you are trying to solve is to put an end to the dysfunctional nature of these relationships. We tend to judge others by their actions, while we judge ourselves by our intentions. If you were to try and bring up the pain they've caused, begin by assessing the root of their intent. For example, by exhibiting anger and jealousy towards you (the action), perhaps their intent was to protect themselves from becoming vulnerable, for in the past they've learned that vulnerability causes them to feel pain. It's almost like a "get them before they get me" mentality. So my advice is that you should bring up these issues, but be very careful with when and how you bring them up. Really think about their intent and how this made you feel inside. Plan as to how you can gently bring it up with the goal of ending the dysfunction in the relationship. And if you call them while they are in an unhealthy state of mind, hold off and wait for a more appropriate time to bring up such a sensitive topic. I hope this made sense and I wish you the best of luck.

"everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end" "if you don't like something, change it. if you can't change it, change the way you think about it" "the happiest people have endured the most pain"

Hello all, As you saw in the title, I am wondering how smoking pot is preventing me from becoming a self-actualized individual. I've been watching one Actualized.org video every day and continuously hear Leo discourage the use of marijuana. I believe he says this because using mind-altering drugs is forcing your mind to produce mood-enhancing chemicals in an unnatural way. I recently watched one of his videos on happiness, where he describes happiness as being content in your natural state without distraction, and it's really helped me become more aware of how my ego is constantly in search of something to distract me from that natural state. I think pot is one of those distractions for me. My SO and I have been daily smokers for over three years (starting when we were 19/20), and I've only recently begun to question its impact on my mind and overall well-being. Because of this, I've cut down on my usage and only take one very small hit at night to help calm/relax me. Unfortunately, we've also begun to incorporate nightly drinks into the mix, and I'm afraid of setting myself up for an unhealthy routine that is hard to kick. It doesn't help that my boyfriend is not on this self-actualization journey with me, so he is a bad influence when it comes to encouraging me to take a hit or a shot to unwind. I've recently started to meditate daily and believe I am beginning to see the benefits it brings to my life. I am also trying to incorporate positive affirmations into my thoughts, staying positive when things are bad, stop worrying, etc., but I am afraid that my current nightly habits may be "undoing" my overall progress of feeling better mentally and emotionally in the long-run. In addition to my question above, do I have to stop smoking/drinking completely in order to see progress on my journey of becoming self-actualized? Or can I do them once in a while, like on weekends? Thanks for listening. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

INFJ