Thittato

Inner Strength & Outer Neglect 45 min meditation this morning. Very nice and soft concentration today as well. I've been really doing a lot of investigation when it comes to supplements lately, and it seems to help my sleep, my anxiety, my digestion and my tendencies to sensitivity and overstimulation a lot. It is kind of weird that for so many years I've been so dedicated to inner growth like meditation, therapy and psychedelics, but I've completely neglected some important aspects of the outer world. So I've developed quite a strong resiliance when it comes to dealing with poor quality of sleep and problems with my digestion for instance, just observing and accepting it and keeping on pushing through, and gaining energy from my meditation to keep on pushing through. Because of childhood neglect I'm a pretty messy person in many aspects when it comes to the outer world, although I can keep it together well in my job, but my routines in my home is pretty chaotic. So this is my big project these days - to try to fix these problems. And now with the improvements in many aspects of my life thanks to these supplements, I think I'm well on my way to become less messy. It would have been such a great thing if I could fix these things. And taking care of my home and my routines, consistently one small step at a time (when I don't overthink it) gives me great joy.

45 min meditation today. Very beautiful, soft, mellow and focused energy.

45 min meditation today as well. As a difference I did the meditation in the sauna today, with 3 cold baths after approximately every 10 minutes in the sauna. It was pretty nice to be more intentional about meditation in the sauna. Early in the day it is easier to meditate there because the atmosphere is more quiet and less social.

45 min meditation today as well. Very nice concentration. I also did a very intense session of sauna and cold baths yesterday - it helped a lot in processing out a lot of the stuff that was put into motion during last ayahusca retreat.

45 min meditation today. Very nice. No meditation yesterday. Lots of resistance.

45 min meditation today. Skipped meditation on friday and saturday somehow. Today my concentration went very deep. I'm continuing with my experiments with magnesium and melatonin, and it seems to make me very tired and sleep suddenly seems very accessible. For years I've been going on overdrive, having difficulties falling asleep, constantly seeking overstimulation, prone to lighter hypermania, etc, and it seems like maybe I've found a way to finally bring my system to full rest now. Interestingly, thanks to meditation and my other wellness practices I've had quite some resilience in the face of very poor sleep quality, but it was getting increasingly uncomfortable, and it seems like now I'm crashing completely (in a good way), so it is pajamas and wool blankets atmoshpere here at home.

45 min meditation today as well. Very nice and strong concentration. Feels so efficient to use meditation to integrate and land all the processes from last weekend.

45 min meditation today as well. Very tired, but I got through it without falling a sleep, and it was a nice way of settling down more after this busy weekend.

45 min meditation today as well. Yesterday I came home from an ayahuasca retreat that lasted from friday to monday. The ceremonies were on saturday and sunday, but we were a group of 5 friends who had rented a cabin together nearby from friday to monday. The 5 of us made up the kitchen team for this weekend, so it was a very intense and rewarding experience of doing ceremonies, taking responsebility in the kitchen, and staying in this cabin together as a group. I cannot possibly imagine a more full and intense weekend. Fortunately I can rest today and tomorrow before I start working again doing two night shifts from wednesday to thursday, and from thursday to friday. Looking forward to do a lot of integration and landing now, and also to use this afterglow and inspiration to play a lot of guitar.

45 min meditation today as well. Very nice and deep concentration. Finally I've started to look into how I can improve my sleep. Thanks to the night-shifts I'm working, and also being slightly manic easily in the evenings, and being a sensitive person who easily gets overstimulated, and seeks to become high and overstimulated through my creative and intellectual interests to get into a flow state, my sleep has been utterly trash for many many years, but through the surrender and acceptance I've developed through meditation, ice-baths, yoga, etc, I've managed to just ignore it and push on through, but it is actually quite terrible, and these last days I've experimented with magnesium and melatonin supplements, and oh my gosh, I've been sleeping like a baby. It seems like magnesium in particular is really helpful when it comes to overstimulation and sensitivity.

45 min meditation again this morning. Going deeper into concentration again.

45 min meditation today as well. Very rejuvenating 😊🙌

Thank you 😊❤️💫🙌🙌

1 hour meditation this morning. Very nice.

45 min meditation today as well. Very nice and revigorating.