Thittato

Hmmmm......... Did yoga again, both yesterday and today. I'm suspecting these emotional difficulties I've experienced a lot of lately (last years!) are about to reach their end. Or at least it feels like I'm at the tail end of them. This therapist education I've been doing 2 years of (altogether 4 years) which I'm probably not going to continue - the first 2 years where supposed to be only self-process in order to get your own stuff dealt with first before starting to train to become a therapist. Seems like that was right, that two years was enough to deal with my own shit. Really took the worst of it here at the end of this 2nd year. Never felt so utterly miserable before. All that hidden shit of feeling like a looser and a complete failure that I've been escaping from by trying to look somehow successful on the outside were totally exposed. Such a pain to feel myself through those very shameful feelings, but now I feel really awesome again. I suspect there will be more cycles of this, but perhaps the worst of it is dealt with now. I feel really good about myself right now. Wish everybody could feel this way about themselves. I get tears in my eyes when I write this. Self-love is our birthright. Of course I'm not going to declare myself done with these processes, because always when I feel good I get fooled by some notion that this time it is going to last forever, and I forget all about what suffering was..... Haha.....

I'm very glad to hear! Your comments are always very helpful :-) Yes, there is certainly a lot of flow states these days. I think I've found a really cool combo with yoga and chess :-)

Interesting how suddenly something just clicked around my yoga practice when I figured out those three peak poses that I wanted to build my yoga-practice around. The same thing just happened right now with my Chess where the four openings that I want to build my opening repertoire around suddenly became clear. I had two already, but I needed another two to have a more dynamic repertoire. The four of them are: The London System, The Black Lion System, The Italian Game and the Sicilian Defense. Anyways, I've had a few days off from yoga, and that has been really nice. My body started to get a little worn because of all that yoga - but in a good way it seems because now that I've had few days off and my body has had a chance to really restitute it feels stronger than ever. My knees and my lower back has always felt a little bit weak - but now it seems like all that weakness is totally gone and they just feel open and strong. Whenever I intensify either my yoga practice or my meditation practice I seem to manage to put too much strain on either, knees, lower-back or both, but this time I managed to intensify in a way that seemed to only strengthen and open up these body parts, so that was really nice and I think it is a good idea to take even a few more days off to really allow my body to fully restitute. Better just be grateful for what I have already, and balance my tendency towards striving with appreciating the joy of the simple things. Even my previous microdose session feels more integrated already. That negative counter-reaction I had has been more processed and I feel more grateful for it, but still I'm glad that I'm going to have some more space around my psychedelic adventures before my next one. This is a good time to focus more on my job, my yoga, my Chess and finishing this 2nd year of my education. Ie. in general things that connects me with this worldly life. It is interesting how ordinary and normal I can sometimes feel. I guess I just want to become comfortable with being an ordinary dude. A passionate and conscious ordinary dude. There is always a risk of shaking things up a bit too much with psychedelics, but the nice thing about microdosing is that things usually doesn't get shaken up too much. I'm curious about how I would react to even lower doses. Perhaps I could find the "just right" point where the experience integrates itself in the present moment because it is neither too much nor too little but just right. But I'm glad I'm not in a rush to explore that. Something for the future.

Hmmmm....... That last post was a bit over the top. Or the microdosing session was a bit over the top. It was a pretty strong microdose, but still within the range of a microdose, and not a mild trip. I experienced a bit of a backlash the next day. Perhaps if I continue to microdose I should make the doses even smaller. Like this last session was too ecstatic. Fun there and then, but it still took me more out of my everyday mode than what I actually desire. And I was a bit drained the next day. Guess I still did some fun explorations, and integrated properly I think it will be useful. Now for the first time since I opened up the door to psychedelics (and weed) again I think it has started again to take a larger role in my life than I like. Before I had this love/hate relationship towards psychedelics because I was like really obsessed with them but I hated the obsession. Now I think I have a better ability to just listen to my needs, so that I don't have to have this either/or attitude. And now my needs are telling me that I would like to dial down this interest a few notches until this last session has been integrated properly. Let me say no more weed or psychedelics until at least I have finished the last weekend-seminar of this 2nd year in my gestalt-therapist education that will be held 24th and 25th of May. That will give me some space to properly integrate both my relationship towards my new-found interest in microdosing, that I have started to work full-time again, and that this 2nd year is close to its end and all what all those processes has been to be. I'm still a bit insecure in my job as a social worker. So I have a much greater desire to really shine in this role than I have for any psychedelic explorations what-so-ever, and I think psychedelics can easily make me pre-occupied with something that seems much more exciting than just a normal job, so I better be careful not to loose my focus on the here and now in my daily life. Ok, so integration is the key now. Glad I only have mild experiences to integrate this time, and not those hardcore psychonautish having been far far out in the kosmos kind of experiences I was so eager for before.

Microdosing on mushrooms What a day! So I worked night-shift tonight, woke up a bit earlier than expected, did a really awesome yoga-session and figured "hey, I'm not working until tomorrow evening again so lets microdose on shrooms!" So I did a little ceremony while ingesting the shrooms and went immediately to the local bathhouse to sink into the warm water and the sauna while waiting for the effect. Microdosing is like a hidden treasure I've found out, because usually people (I certainly was!) is a bit greedy for more of a psychedelic adventure and microdosing takes you to this in-between state where you are neither tripping nor quite in your normal state and you're kind of longing for a more pronounced effect and it can be a bit confusing to not feeling that it quites takes of, but this sort of tension is exactly the hidden door into something quite wonderful. First of all staying with that tension and letting it grind through your whole system in a sort of loving and accepting meditative way is very therapeutic, and once that tension has been worked through one gets to a place of feeling very released and then it is actually like one is walking around in ones normal state just with a little extra spark of inspiration, energy and a very mild euphoric trippy feeling. It is like getting some extra super-powers without loosing touch with just normal everyday state. It was amazing working with this tension while I sat in the sauna. I was really letting the heat just knead into me. At some point I was feeling extremely lonely and oh my god how eventually I embraced this feeling and let it work through me. Felt so released afterwards and went for the ice water bath to sharpen up again when I was ready to step out of the vulnerability and into my strength again. It is important not to do this too early because then one escapes that possibility of a full release but I think my timing was just right. After that I've been hanging out this whole evening with a really awesome buddy, we've done yoga together, walked around in town, and pretty much talked about everything between heaven and earth. He started exploring sadomasochism half a year ago and we've talked alot about the relationship between sadomasochism and tantra. I'm not particularly into neither sadism nor masochism, and if I even have sides like that they must be buried somewhere deep in my subconsciousness, but it was very interesting to see how much it has done to him and how much more of his being he is able to own. I never seen his spark so strongly before, and it seems like he is very grounded at the same time. Me myself I very much love tantra by the way, and me and one of my ex-girlfriends was very much into it together. In Tantra they have this saying - "Rise by that which makes you fall." The way I see it is that if can own and approach our dark sides with consciousness and acceptance they become strengths instead of strong energies that are locked down by shame that probably in many ways keeps lots of your potential locked down. We concluded that sadomasochism is probably a very extreme way of making these suppressed forces in our psyches conscious again. He showed me a lot of the tools that they use, and I tried one of his whips, just to swing it around in the air and make that snap sound and it made me wonder if I had a side like that myself, I felt quite some power rising in me while I did it, but I don't feel particularly drawn to go there, not quite yet at least Anyways, the day was just totally over the top amazing in a very grounded chill microdosing kind of way. So now I came home, and I just did a few games of Chess, and I reached a new record of 1098 in rating in Blitz-games. I've never been over 1100 before, and I'm always so nervous when I get close to a new milestone again that I can hardly play. If I win my next game I will be over 1100 for the first time, so perhaps before that game I will really warm up properly and make sure my concentration is really at its best. It is kind of a nut to crack the recipe for what will make me play at my best? Sometimes an attitude of carelessness can be really beneficial as well. But in the end it seems like for each new milestone I reach I have tightened up my game being much less sloppy and just basically much more "economical" about my game not giving away anything for free - like really giving a clear signal to my opponent that this will be a really tight game and I'm just waiting like a hawk for him to make a weak move. I told my friend that Chess is like a reality check for me. And really that is exactly what it is. There is no chance of bullshitting in Chess. Your skills are what they are, clear and pronunced and out into the open. It fucking sucks to loose. I mean, I feel so bad when I loose a game I almost won, and the winning streaks can end any time. But that's what is so great about it. No matter how enthusiastic I feel about Chess I cannot build up my own little manic world around it and move into it and define my own rules and all that stuff which on the extreme sides of things, when taken way too far, leads to psychosis. No, with Chess I'm constantly exposed to a reality check, and it is so good for me that I can't just take off with it. If I keep playing for too long then my focus will be gone and I will start to loose a lot and then it will totally suck to continue playing. I see a refinement going on. I had tendencies of both being a poor winner and a poor looser, but gradually through this pain-process I'm refined into a gentleman who has a good attitude about both winning and loosing. It is over a month since I microdosed last time, and that time was when the fire really came back to my yoga-practice again, and I have to say that I will conclude todays journey with saying that without yoga none of this would have been possible. Yoga is a daily discipline for me now, and without it I would have felt so much more fragile and frazzled, but yoga is really really really the most important thing that I do every day. It is my foundation for everything else that I do. So glad my buddy is so into yoga himself. It was amazing to share that enthusiasm together. I'll end this post by a quote by one of my favorite yoga teachers, Adi Shakti, from her instagram-account: "Yoga is more than a practice. Yoga is more than a word. It is more than physicality. Yoga is art, it is science, it is a dance. It's a dance between surrendering to what was and controlling what is. It is between pushing the what will be and letting go of the what has been. Knowing when to push and when to release becomes part of your spiritual progression. This is your dance and it becomes part of the ever-evolving exploration of your being."

Hurrah! Did that same program today. It is clear that now I have a foundation in all these three poses. It is not like I get fully into them, but at least now I get pretty far into them, and it doesn't feel like some clumsy weak attempt where I struggle to keep the balance, but it feels like I have a strong foundation and that I'm familiar with using my body that way. Also it seems like my body can handle it, and so far it has only gotten stronger by practicing this way. Now that all these three poses are starting to feel strong and balanced and that my body can handle it, I don't see anything standing in the way of me mastering them. I will just continue to surrender deeper into them day by day. In one way, as I see it, I have already gotten to where I wanted to be with my yoga. Something that felt a bit weak and fragile now feels like a strong foundation for launching my practice into the next level. When I have these three poses down I think they will open the door for doing all kinds of cool stuff :-) (I'm not lifting one of my legs off the ground yet in wheel pose, btw, so it is not one legged wheel pose, only normal wheel pose so far.)

Holy moly! I was already ALMOST able to get down into full split. Like waaaay closer than I could possibly imagine. Only when I had the left leg out in front, though. Somehow I was much more flexible that way than with the right leg out in front. It is usually like that - one side is more flexible than the other. And then I was also able to go much deeper into the wheel than ever before. Like when I do the wheel it doesn't really look like the wheel because my lower back hasn't been flexible enough to lift me fully into it, but this time I think it is seriously starting to look like something - and it has gotten a lot more stronger so it is much easier to lift myself up into it, and also the balance feels much better. Perhaps now I can just continue to work directly on these three poses I'm aiming at, every day, as long as my body doesn't give me any signals to cool down. Of course I will also continue to do more generalized programs, so I will find ways to put these three poses into those programs. This really helps me creating that flow where more generalized warm up sequences just naturally lead into the peak poses. The peak poses are sort of the arrow-head in the sequence, but they need a much larger supporting structure to have any power or validity.

Interesting how I first started writing here around October right after an ayahuasca ceremony I did. I felt a huge pull towards journaling about music again since ayahusca is a very musical psychedelic. There is always a lot of musicians in the ceremonies I've been part of. So my first journal was about me trying to go deeper with my guitar and my djembe. And then, as I cycle through these various interests that I have I went over to drawing again and my journaling became about that. Eventually enough was enough which is another part of my cycles when I understand that I need to re-affirm my commitment to meditation again and stop flying around out there in all kinds of various interests. So for a while I journaled about meditation, which is why this new thread was created for that purpose. And then for a long while I had a parallel process going on with Chess (which is still going on). I am somehow always searching for my path. What is going to be my vehicle here in this world? I think it was good to hide out for a while in the Chess-world, because I've just been so shattered to pieces by the emotional difficulties I've had lately. The difficult emotional processes I go through are triggered by this difficult therapeutic process I'm going through as part of my therapist education (I will only finish this 2nd year now and then quit, altogether the education is 4 years but I need a serious break). So anyways I've been so totally shattered to pieces, and all my old strategies for having a life and a purpose, they have all been dissolved, so I've tried desperately to go back to stuff I used to do before for periods - the art world, psychedelics, guitar, etc etc, but none of it gave me that sense of purpose I had before when I was really going for it with any of these things - I couldn't really build that identity around any of these things as I used to before. So now as this 2nd year is getting close to its end I think I have actually managed to get through this difficult emotional process, at least much of it, and seems like I'm much more on fire again with vitality and spiritual strength. So it was very interesting that yoga was the thing that I was eventually going to land on as part of this journaling as the vehicle to pull me through all this (of course having a wonderful therapist also helped). My main focus for the last 10 years (at least) for my spiritual practice has been vipassana meditation, but now it is time to have something else as my main focus for a while, and I'm planning on spending at least half a year doing yoga as my main spiritual practice. Perhaps I go back to vipassana meditation after a while, but for now it is certainly a good timing to spend more time on yoga. Yoga was originally only meant as a preparation for meditation as I understand it, but I certainly find it to be a good meditation on its own right.

This morning I only did 10 sun salutations, and then I started working directly on all the three poses I'm trying to master. I can already see improvement in all three of them, and that is really motivating. Now I have the choice of alternating between more general programs and self-composed programs where I work directly on these three poses, and that gives me some nice variation. Nice to aim directly for something, and then to add some variation to that and do more general stuff where I work on my general strength and flexibility. Some poses I want to go deeper with, and then to dance around these poses with more general stuff. I'm starting to get a sense of how I can keep this going for a long time.

First time today I did a program that where I worked on all the three peak poses I'm aiming to master. Half of the program was from a guided youtube session on how to prepare for the splits, and the rest of it I improvised on my own. These youtube videos is a really great support, but I like the fact that I'm starting to improvise more and more on my own.

Went for a walk in nature and kept thinking about this connection between yoga and chess, what could that possible be, and of course the connection is ----- martial arts! Chess is martial arts for the mind - a battle between you and your opponent's armies. I like to think that I have this little personal ninja training going on. That somehow all these things I'm interested in are compiling up to a broad set of ninja skills. Perhaps I should add a little bit of martial arts to my yoga practice to really bridge this gap between yoga and chess. Found a cool youtube video: Yoga Meets Martial Arts Practice: Silky Force. "This Yogea practice fuses Martial Arts, Yoga and Qi-Gong as it provides a sense of grounding, a general awakening of the joints, and spaciousness in the mind." Haven't seen it yet, but sounds awesome. And as a social worker in a psychiatric hospital we can have some really violent situations going on sometimes, so some martial arts training would really help with my sense of safety in those situations. Of course we carry alarms, and we are always lots of people in those situations, but martial arts would certainly increase my self-esteem and sense of safety, and contribution with safety to everybody involved when we're dealing with aggression.

Upgrade of yoga and Chess goals So my yoga-practice is going really well, I'm doing it daily and I feel really inspired to continue, so I'm going to upgrade one of the three poses I have as a goal to master from simple wheel pose to one legged wheel pose. I think that is my absolute favorite yoga-pose. Looks like a bow to me, with the leg in the air being a arrow aiming at eternity. Interesting the types of spaces one can get into by bringing the body into a certain pose. For instance with the warrior poses I feel that my warrior attitude is really experienced, and some poses can bring a deep sense of surrender, for instance seated forward fold. Here is a picture of one legged wheel pose that I googled. Also today my next Chess-goal came to me. I'm going to reach 1200 in rating at Chess.com in Blitz-games before I'm satisfied with my Chess-studies. Cool to take it from just being a maniacally enthusiastic beginner to actually becoming a more serious intermediate player. So my goal is to reach intermediate level player at 1200. Feels like this thing has already gotten a lot more grounded and integrated, so I'm not afraid of this interest anymore. Having some yoga-goals keeps my nerdy side in balance. Anyways, so this is a little Chess-sculpture me and a friend made after we smoked a joint after we had played in a tournament together. He successfully beat one of this towns best poker players twice in Chess. Even though this poker player is also a beginner in Chess, it was a huge kick for both of us, because he has some psychological tricks that makes him a dangerous opponent (he always beats me even though my rating is much higher than his. Anyways, this friend of mine, I was able to teach him everything I know about Chess and open his eyes to this same passion that I have for this game in a very short time, so it was a huge kick to share this enthusiasm with a friend, so we went home and smoked a joint and got pretty manic about Chess from all kinds of directions, making sculptures, seeing youtube videos on Astrology in Chess and lots of esoteric stuff haha. We even made a hiphop song devoted to our Chess-mentor. Haha...... It was pretty trippy. So here is our cute little sculpture, and I choose to make it into a symbol for my goal of reaching 1200. Kind of interesting to be obsessed with both yoga and Chess these days. Not sure what the common ground is, but at least they are both from India, which, I guess, is a huge common ground. Yoga for my body, emotions and for my spirituality, and Chess as an exercise for my logical thinking. By the way, I've said before here that weed is no friend of mine, and it still isn't because it is usually waaaay toooo intense for me. Never understood all those people that says it makes them chill. Never been my experience. But anyways, a few times it can be interesting to use it for the sake of creativity, but I'm usually really glad when I wake up the next day and I'm back to normal intensity of life, instead of the super-intensity from being high. So to me I think smoking weed is like a psychedelic trip I can do a few times when I feel like it, but it will never be recreational. It has always been super-intense work to me.

Yes! Actually not really that hard. When one has gained stability in basic headstand it is just to wriggle ones feet into full lotus, but that seems impossible as long as basic headstand feels shaky :-)

Did 10 sun salutations today, then I did that 25 min long yin yoga program mentioned above here, and then I ended with 10 min sitting meditation. I'm working night-shifts these days, and felt a little bit worn out because my sleeping rhythm is a bit messed up, but after this yin yoga program I feel really fresh and ready for tonight's night-shift. I'm starting to feel more attractive again, and more open to other people, and this yoga really gives me a positive vibe, so this is really awesome. I'm pretty sure some more months of dedicated yoga-practice will totally make me into a much more stable person, and that it will help to shake off these emotional difficulties I've had lately.

Haha. So on fire with yoga-inspiration again. 26th of March was the day when my yoga-spark was re-ignited fully again as I did 10 sun salutations in this bath-house that I regularly go to while I microdosed on Peyote (written about here). I've dabbled in yoga for years. Even did a 26-day yoga teacher education in Mexico in 2012, and spent 5 months living in a yoga school in Sweden in 2005, but for the most part my spiritual practice has been more geared towards buddhist meditation - specifically vipassana meditation - but I've always wanted to take physical yoga further, but basically just maintaining it through sun salutations every now and then and an occasional drop in yoga class, and a few courses here and there, and some main-poses that I've maintained just to make sure that my flexibility would not fall beneath a certain level. This time I will take it further. I will tie together all the loose ends in my yoga-practice and build up a powerful daily yoga practice. Perhaps at some point I will go back to vipassana-meditation as my primary focus again, and then move my yoga practice down in priority to perhaps only doing 2-3 sessions per week to maintain my health, but for now it will be my primary focus for as long as it takes to bring this up to a totally new and much deeper level.

Third advanced pose I'm aiming to master As I was resting now before I go to work to work night-shift, the third post I've been looking for came to me. The full lotus headstand pose. This is a pose that I can already do, but only in a very awkward manner, so I'm going to aim towards mastering it - doing it in a controlled and flowing way. Yoga inspiration is totally back. None of these pictures are myself by the way, just random pictures I googled. But first, before really starting to work with these three poses, I'm going to build my practice up again from the bottom up by getting really good at more basic stuff and learning to see how profound the more basic stuff actually is.

Resistance Had some pretty strong resistance towards doing yoga for some days, started thinking I should go back to vipassana-meditation again, and all that, but then yesterday I did that 20 min program mentioned about here - Best Yoga for All Levels * Easy Peaceful Flow - and I did it again just now, and yeah it feels really great, so I'm glad I'm keeping this up. These amazing effects I've had in my body are still here, and I'm building on them getting even more familiar with these simple poses. Guess I was a little manic when I started with yoga again, and overdid it, like I always do, but now it feels really great. I'm getting even more convinced that these pretty extreme waves of difficult feelings I'm experiencing these days are related to my psychotherapist education. As said before feels like all my old strategies for escapism are stripped away and I have to just face these feelings directly. So easy to forget that this is a good process when I'm in the middle of something really difficult, but after a wave has been processes and I feel peaceful and expansive again it all feels really meaningful.

So, this 2nd year in this gestalt-therapist education that I was doing is getting close to its end. I only have one weekend seminar left, one study-group, and to finish writing 5 pages as a rapport of how my year has been, so now I wonder what my next year will be like since most likely I don't want to continue this education, at least not for now. I've started working more again, and that is really nice. Had a little bit of a burn-out during Christmas so I started working less, but now I'm back available for working full-time again. Guess it will take some time figuring out what my next plan will be. Among the various options I have here are a few of them: - Save up some money and travel the world. - Get an art studio to go more into drawing again. - Do some kind of meditation and/or yoga-retreat - Get more into dating and women again. - Devote myself fully to ayahuasca and the Santo Daime church. - Just continue to work as a social worker, trying to settle down even more into the job, and perhaps establish some mindfulness and/or yoga groups through my job. - Some combination of all or some of these things. As I was feeling so strongly for this gestalt-therapist education when I started it, I guess it is only natural that it will take some time to figure out what my next plan will be. Anyways, I made this drawing as an external representation for this looking for what my next direction will be - to help me remember not to stress to much about this but give it some time.

This is also one of my favorite videos of this yoga teacher: Feels like I'm getting more and more into the habit now of having a daily yoga practice. Fun to see how much the body is changing day by day. It is also much less of a big deal. I just do my daily practice, and then my body and mind feels awesome, and then I go about my day. I'm going to do this every day now for a while, and feels like I just trust the natural unfolding that it brings. There is still something in me that is really impatient with results with whatever I pursue, but day by day this thing grows. My main critique of my own sitting meditation practice is that for me it can easily become something complacent about it. Like I just sit down and become lazy and half-focused. I'm sure there is a lot of tools to counter-act that tendency, but for now I'll need the more physical aspect of yoga to really boost my strength and dedication. Perhaps I'll go back to sitting meditation as my main-focus again at some point when I've reached something sufficient with this yoga. At any rate the pull now is to really untie my body in a physical way the way I feel that yoga does. I guess physical yoga was always meant as a preparation for sitting meditation, to clear out the more gross unbalances in order to work on the finer aspects of the mind and consciousness, but yoga to me feels like a very profound meditation by itself as well. Imagine just being in a body that is totally relaxed, strong, flexible, balanced, etc. The body is not a hindrance, nor really something that takes a lot of focus either, it is just relaxed and chill because it has been brought into balance by yoga. Seems so easy as well, to have a dedicated yoga practice in a busy life, because everybody needs to take care of their health and fitness one way or another anyways, and doing that will only give energy and confidence to all the others things that I'm doing. I'll find creative ways to keep this alive, if only just a short program of say 10 minutes some days, and then longer programs on other days. The important thing is just to do something - to break out of the rut of ones daily life and bring my body into a calming and clearing focus through these physical exercises.

So awesome with the yoga :-) Exactly what I need right now. Been really wanting to boost up my level of fitness, and with yoga I get both meditation and some serious exercise in the same package. Been dabbling in various forms of exercise these last years - both running, swimming, hiking, weight-lifting, dancing, and yoga, but now I think it is time to choose one thing and go deeper with it, and yoga is what I have the most experience with from before, so that is a good choice. Been relaxing a bit more around this want to get into more advanced poses as I'm starting to get my taste back for the more basic poses and seeing more how deep they actually go. Anyways, I think I will have to strengthen and become more flexible in a more basic sense - build up the foundation, before I get into more advanced stuff. A little pain in my lower-back is a sign I over-extended a bit working on the wheel pose, so I better just build this up gradually. I think Vinyasa Flow is my favorite so far, but I also like to spice it up with both yin yoga and classical yoga.

Cool! Yin yoga is really awesome! It is the restorative / meditative style of yoga :-)

Another pose that I like to work more on is the split. Seems to work fine to choose some yin yoga program on youtube, or a vinyasa flow sequence, and then after that to have a few "fun poses" that I like to work more on to spend some time on, and then a little meditation at the end. I want to find a third pose that I can also work on together with the split and the wheel.

Gives me a lot of safety to move from sitting meditation to yoga. The emotional difficulties I experience these days are too heavy to just sit with them, so moving around, making my body stronger and more flexible, makes more sense. It also helps getting me mentally more into my body, instead of just spinning around in my head. I'm going to pick out a few poses that I especially like to work on. The first one that comes to mind is the wheel pose. This one:

More yoga Did another 30 min yin-yoga program this morning, and then I meditated for 15 min. I'm totally going to shift the main-focus of my practice on to yoga for a while now, and then only supplement with meditation when it feels natural after for instance a yoga-session. I think it is totally ok to change thing around a little bit now. I've been very dedicated to my vipassana-meditation for a long while now, but now I totally need some change. When the momentum is good with vipassana it is really good, but when it isn't good it can easily get a little slippery, like I'm just sitting there on my cushion being lazy, not really commiting 100% to giving it all my focus, so this is a good period to put my body more into work. The results are guaranteed when one is actually putting the body to work through yoga. Much more tangible. I know yoga and meditation is meant to supplement each other, and they can't really be separated clearly, but they blend into each other.

Yin Yoga Fusion Woah! I did this program twice today, morning and evening, and it was soooooo awesome: