Thittato

So maybe this Wim Hof method is like the finishing touch on my own therapeutic process. I finished 3,5 intense years in gestalttherapy (both individual therapy and group-therapy) in the summer of 2019, and after that I have just grown more and more comfortable in my job as a social worker in a psychiatric emergency hospital - a job which I’ve had for 3 years now. It is a very intense job which requires a lot of mental and emotional processing. Now it is starting to feel like I know this job so well that I can relax much more and I don’t need to think so much about it in my spare time. Along with this therapeutic process I’ve had I saw it as very important to just stay for a long time in this job and gain a sense of mastery and stability. Like measuring my own therapeutic success in how well I was able to settle down into and enjoy a career. The last polishing on this process has been to explore the Wim Hof method this winter. It seems like my neuroticism has been going down even further because of this. Like I’m gradually becoming a much more stable and robust person. I was very unstable before, even though I was very good at containing all my emotional fluctuations because this is my 20th year as a dedicated meditator so I’ve had A LOT of training in observerving my shit while it goes on, but now it seems like I don’t have so many fluctations anymore, and the ones I do have are usually within a more natural range (with some exceptions of course). My chronical existential crisis seems close to cured. And now that I once again feel a momentum and deepening, both with the Wim Hof breathing method, and with the cold water exposure, I’m very enthusiastic about continuing this process. Both when I’m in the breath retention and when I’m in the cold water I’m thinking: «Let me be open, receptive and grateful for this healing, and let me allow it to penetrate deeply into the core of my being.»

3 rounds of breathing and 2 and a half minute in the cold shower both yesterday and today. So beautiful. The last 30 sec in the cold shower feels especially beneficial.

3 rounds of breathing today, weight-lifting, and 2 and a half minute in the cold shower. Those 2 and a half minutes feels pretty awesome. I was afraid I had been getting what I could get out of this already, but now it feels like it starts to go even deeper. All the hype is totally gone. I rarly watch any Wim Hof interviews anymore. I don't care about whatever physiological effects this gives that science might have measured. But it feels pretty damn good.

3 rounds of breathing today and 2 and a half minute in the cold shower. It felt pretty awesome. With 2 and a half minute all the hurry is gone, and one just has to take ones time and settle down into the experience. I'm feeling very enthusiastic about taking up this challenge again.

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing and cold shower today as well. I’ve only slept one hour tonight and I had to get up early for work, but the practice was very inspiring again. Tomorrow cold showers are extended to 2 min and 30 sec. 2 min and 15 sec, which I have been doing for 5 days now, already feels pretty long. I’m working it up to 3 min and 10 sec. Will be interesting to see how that goes.

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing and cold shower today as well. My practice was a little bit refreshing, but nothing more. I'm feeling really really fed up with this pandemic.

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, 15 min of weight-lifting, and then 2 min and 15 sec cold shower. At least for the duration of this 20 day cold shower challenge I think this should be my only "health and wellness routine" - daily cold showers and the Wim Hof breathing method combined with 15 min of weight-lifting 3 times a week.

A new 20 day cold shower challenge (second one). So yesterday I started a new 20 day cold shower challenge on my Wim Hof app. I did 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing before this, and later in the evening I did another 3 rounds together with a friend. Today I did 3 rounds of the breathing, and then the cold shower.

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, cold shower, and then 30 min of meditation. Focus in meditation was just rest and surrendering into the effects of the breathing and the cold shower.

Weight-lifting, cold shower, and 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, today.

I think the underlying issue here is that men also feel deeply hurt by all the different ways that women hurt men. Obviously rape is a very bad and real thing, but with this whole #metoo thing there has been a massive focus in the media on how bad men are towards women, and this feels unbalanced towards many of us, because we have also been deeply hurt by women, and we would like to talk openly about how this dynamic plays out, instead of being shamed into silence and just having to accept the political correct version about how this is. The female shadow can be pretty intimidating, too. I think we all know lots of examples about women who have been very psychologically abusive towards men (and of course the other way around). As men we are generally just told that this is just nature and something that we have to put up with. But if mainstream media is going to constantly drill into our heads how bad men are towards women, well, then I would like to also have a much closer look at the full picture going on here because this abuse is going both ways. But I'm very glad this whole conversation have been opened up - I just hope it can soon bring in a much broader picture. I don't think the so-called "war between the sexes" will end before a much more compassionate, wise and forgiving climate has been established around this whole thing.

Cold shower and 30 min meditation today. Very restless during meditation.

Well. I think we can have balanced and respectful conversation about all aspects of this. A lot of men (and women) think there is more to all of this than what is currently allowed to talk openly about, and I don't think it is fair that only one side is allowed to voice their opinions. Nothing good ever comes out of shaming other perspectives into silence. This conversation is certainly going to continue in our society for a long time, so it needs to be explored from all angles in order for our collective understanding of this problem to evolve into a greater understanding than what we currently have today. This whole thing is a huge generational trauma in all of us, and I don't think the climate in todays mainstream society is particularly helpful in bringing healing to this, BUT at least it is good that the process has started!

Between rape and false rape acusations there is also the landscape where one part think it was rape but the other part doesn't think it was signaled clear enough, or signaled at all, from the other that he/she was no longer interested in participating in the sexual act - a so-called misunderstanding, typically happening when there is alcohol and/or drugs involved and the level of clearity around what is going on is compromised. There seems to be a power-struggle going on here where some people think this is all black and white and consent is either given completely or not given at all, and there is no room for misunderstandings or poor communication, while others want there to be a "grey area" here and have some margin of error. One can typically think that two persons ending up in such a situation that one part will genuinly claim that he/she was raped while the other part will genuinly claim that he/she had no intention of having sex with anyone without consent. I wouldn't exactly call this a false rape acusation but it will probably be experienced like that for the one who didn't think he/she did anything wrong, and it will cause a lot of suffering for both involved. I think some more wisdom and better communication and conflict-resolution around situations like these is something our culture desperately needs.

Weight-lifting, cold shower, and 30 min meditation. Feels like I'm about to really nail these three really powerful tools, in the sense that they are becoming integrated parts of my routine.

30 min meditation, and then a cold shower, this morning. It is a little bit hard to let go of the Wim Hof breathing method, but letting go of my regular meditation would have been hard too, and I don't feel I have the capacity to do both on a daily basis, but maybe I can continue to switch back and forth a little bit since I like both so much. Probably 30 min of meditation per day will be my base, but on some days when I want to spice things up or go deeper I can also add the Wim Hof breathing.

Weight-lifting, 30 min meditation, and cold shower, today. I only managed to do 10 min of meditation before working day-shift today, and when I came home from work I was pretty tired, but after some weight-lifting, the remaining 20 min of meditation, and a cold shower, I now feel super-fresh. These tools are like having access to my own little spa here in my home. The weight-lifting routine is so awesome. It only takes 15 min, but it consists of some really powerful full-body exercises, so it feels like it gives me the absolutely most bang for the bucks I can get. And this routine also feels very sustainable, so I think I can do this routine 3 times a week. I've dabbled in a little bit of weight-lifting for 2-3 years now in combination with yoga, but I have never settled into any stable routine with it, but now I think I've found one that I can establish and then start to build on it. When the gym opens up again I think I will start to do traditional weight-lifting with a barbell. In my home I'm using dumbells. I was also using kettlebells before but they got stolen when I left them down in my basement. The cold shower also felt totally awesome today. The water is getting a little bit warmer I can now notice. I'm pretty glad about that because there is an element of stamina in this, and now I've successfully been riding out the winter into a milder landscape.

30 min meditation, 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and cold shower, today.

45th cold-bath this season So today has been a really nice day. I went for a long walk in the forest together with a friend, and when we came home to his place we did 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing together, and it was pretty awesome to do it together like that after a good long walk, and then we played Chess, made food, played guitar, and I went home, and when I came home I felt so happy I did 3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and then I played more guitar again for quite a while and sang mantras, and then I went down to the beach and did my cold-bath. Not exactly sure what is going on regarding the structure I have around these things - these days it seems like it lives its own life, which is nice for now. I guess I will just have to see where it is going to land this time as it is a bit up in the air regarding what my meditative/spiritual needs are these days. Some more back and forth between the Wim Hof method and my regular vipassana meditation practice is expected. Maybe I find a way to juggle both approaches. I think it will just need to sort itself out somehow by me not trying to control the process too much right now. I feel very generous with myself right now. I allow myself to just rest and live and see how things will turn out. That is going to be my affirmation for today - "I allow myself to rest." And also: "I allow myself to be good and kind with myself."

Weight-lifting, cold shower, and 30 min meditation. Pretty nice.

Only practice today has been a cold shower. Now I'm feeling very grateful for the whole Wim Hof method. It has given me so much this winter. Seems like I'm totally back into doing the cold showers as a discipline.

Cold shower and 30 min meditation yesterday, and weight-lifting, cold shower and 30 min meditation today. The cold showers are getting really really enjoyable again. I don't time them anymore, but I have a system where I go through all my body part until there is no shock anymore touching them with the cold water, and it feels like the exposure is always getting long enough so that I get really used to the cold water before I turn it off. My weight-lifting routine is also getting really enjoyable. I have some full-body exercises with dumbbells that I enjoy a lot.

30 min meditation, weight-lifting and cold-shower today as well. Distracted during my meditation, but everything else was totally awesome!

Well. You can study what it means to be liked. What qualities are socially attractive? And try to gradually integrate them into your personality so they become an authentic expression of who you are. Many people don't want to do this because they insist on "being who they are." And perhaps more people already like you than you would think? Usually what we think about ourselves is what we send out and then receive back again. When I'm hostile, suspicous or indifferent about my co-workers that is usually what I receive back. Sometimes I have that extra capacity to be friendly and make other people feel seen and cared about. I'm still learning how I can become more of that. I was very socially awkward before, and I still am to some extent, and because of this I see the social game as a game I want to learn how to master. I think the more we learn about this the more expansive and authentic versions of ourselves we can become. There is much more to you than what you are currently is experencing. You just need to discover it. It may take some time, but I think if you bring curriosty, playfulness and a willingness to learn to it, then it can be a lot of fun :-)

30 min meditation, weight-lifting, and cold shower today as well. I think I've found the way to ride out this Wim Hof method period now, and ground it back into my regular meditation practice.