Thittato

3rd time cross-country skiing. Longest session so far - 12 km. 45 min meditation yesterday as well. No meditation today. I didn't have time before I was going to go out skiing with a buddy. We drove to a skiing center one hour from where we live, and followed a really beautiful 12 km roundtrip up a beautiful mountain. I'm very happy with having re-discovered cross-country skiing. Now I have skiing in the winter, and kayaking in the summer, and they complement each other perfectly. It is like the older I get the more I discover the everyday joy of all the normal things that the normies are into. There must be some kind of aversion/resistance towards normal life that is gradually getting healed more and more. The need to be special is dissolving more and more, and maybe all the daydream fantasies about living somewhere else in a different more ideal and exotic life - all those fantasies I used to escape into because life was too difficult to deal with when I grew up, I think there is some gradual easing up on these tendencies as well, even though they are deep-rooted.

45 min meditation today as well. Really great.

45 min meditation today as well. Really great session. I've been cross-country skiing for two days in a row as well. Almost seems like this close to burn-out feeling I had is gone. Maybe boosting up on meditation, together with going into cross-country skiing was enough to get me out of some job-related winter-depression. I didn't ice-bathe this winter, which I have usually done to get a kick out of winter, but now cross-country skiing seems like a really cool winter-activity. I was visiting my doctor today, and I explained my situation, but it was impossible to be actually get anything out of him with the positive energy I came to him with, but I think the HR-department is where I'm going to get the counselling I need to better deal with my job-situation, so I guess I'm switching around from a victim of the situation to an empowered individual seeking out proactive ways of improving my job situation, so that is probably a very good thing. Anyways, I'm really impressed by how quickly meditation can improve my energy and state of being.

Yesterday: 1,5 hour of meditation. Today: 45 min of meditation. I woke up feeling really depressed about this job and my situation in life, but meditation really changed that. I think it is very important that I understand the instability I'm facing. I'm battling burn-out, but suddenly get some intense surges in energy thanks to meditation, but that doesn't mean the problem is over, so when I talk to my doctor and the HR-apartment it is important that I don't loose this overview if I go there during one of these surges in energy.

45 min meditation today, and 3 sets of kettlebell snatches. Holy smokes, I've been feeling close to burn-out for about two weeks, and then all it took was that 1,5 hour of meditation yesterday, and now I'm feeling really replenished. Some heavy frustrated and depressive emotional process that was in my body/mind system needed to get metabolized. But anyways, I will still seek out some kind of mentorship regarding how to better thrive in my job.

Professional challenges, close to burn-out, contacting my doctor, the HR-department and increasing my daily meditation. Two sessions of 45 min meditation today. I'm going through a challenging period related to my job, and my mind just keeps wallowing around in drama and the victim-role, so I need to increase my mediation to feel empowered again. I have also contacted my doctor and the HR-department, to see if they can help me with this. Basically the department I'm working in got transferred to a new building and a new role 3 years ago, and nobody is really satisfied with how our job changed, and this new job is burning up our emotional capital like crazy, and none of us have that spark in our eyes that we used to have, and all of this is starting to take its toll on me as well, so now I need to intensify the counter-measures to this situation. Maybe I need to leave this job and find a healthier place to be, but to begin with I hope to find a mentor that can coach me through this situation and make me feel empowered again. It is thanks to two really good sessions of meditation that I can think so clearly about this now, instead of just "I need to get away from this crazy shit!"

45 min meditation this morning. Very nice.

3 sets of kettlebell snatches today. Feels really good. I'm really staying with these kettlebell snatches, and it feels like my body is starting to stabilize into a higher baseline of confidence, strength and fitness. I have found something sustainable.

Yesterday: 3 sets of kettlebell snatches Today: 45 min meditation

45 min meditation yesterday, and 3 sets of kettlebell snatches today. Both were great.

45 min meditation today, and 3 sets of kettlebell snatches. This thing I have going regarding meditation and kettlebells seems to be holding up very well these days.

45 min meditation today. Very nice and peaceful meditation.

45 min meditation today as well. Processing of emotions and experiences lately, combined with a deep sense of peace. Very nice state.

45 min meditation today as well, and 3 sets of kettlebell snatches. I've been fluctuating a little with the meditation, a few days on and a few days off here and there, but the kettlebell snatches, approximately every second day, has been really solid.

45 min meditation today as well. Good flow.