Electron

I have a lot of people around me that are not even aware of this self-help stuff and some of them are close enough that I care about them. My dad for example is an alcoholic and he stuff himself up with junk food all the time and he has a whole other bunch of bad habits. I can clearly see patterns of self-sabotage in him as if he wants to just shut himself down while stoning himself with pleasures. There are many other people apart from my dad who I know very well and at times I know what their problems are and how to help them but i just let it go and concentrate on my own life. I feel weird not helping them but I also know that its not in my ability to help them change for it is a feat that requires a lot of time and patience and more importantly most of them are not even ready for a change. I don't like that they are missing the real good things about life and wasting away the one life they got which sometimes compel me to share what I know. I don't find it noble to just let them suffer and I know I can't really help them change as I too am very short on time for my own stuff. What are your views about this?

How funny is that that we are all here for a few years, then this all ends for eternity..

I don't really get the difference b/w inspiration and desperation. In a vague sense I think that desperation is best expressed by obstinate refusal of a child to do something . Its synonymous with insanity and stubbornness and deprived of reason. It also accompanies obsession. Whereas i think inspiration is more like a heart centered revelation free from neurosis. Its not goal oriented or egotistical and accompanies a subtle joy. Tony Robbins says that in life, you need either inspiration or desperation. I think that inspiration resonates with being and desperation resonates with doing. And we kinda need both. What are your views about this?

In my opinion if you share your success with someone then they'll know that you are successful. jk

@Kelley White Sure am. ! I read somewhere that to get all of it you must be crazy enough to want all of it.

@Leo Gura Do you think being an irrational person is more likely to get you enlightened as you are more open to possibilities ??

That's what I think too. All I see behind massive success is obsession rooted in desperation. Now it might be possible that those people are also inspired on some level but to do that amount of work on a daily basis you got to be desperate and lunatic.

I am just curious to know how many scientific minded people are into self help. I myself am a physics undergrad.

@Ire The first thing you need to be aware of is that the reason that happens to you is not because you are stupid or anything, its just a very natural emotional resistance that happens every time we try to learn something we are not quite comfortable with ( Its a Human Thingy. ). And the reason your mind resists it, is because it is still in its infancy to know how to process the language, let alone use it to reason and play with easily. Just give it more time, start expressing yourself more in english by keeping a diary. Once the mind hangs out with the language enough, it will befriend it and enable you to play and reason with it.

@Huz88I don't have a history with drugs or depression and I have tried applying for it nine times and they never accepted me. It's just luck I guess.

@BeginnerActualizer Well, first of all, its all in the head. Second, Things in the head dissolve if you don't feed them. So, if by virtue of anything whatsoever you stop feeding and reinforcing the emotional attachment you have for something, it will gradually fade away and you will feel less inclined towards that thing.

Hey guys ! I am going through a serious dilemma and its making me sick. I aspire to become a physicist. But dwelling into the subject my own way for this long helped me create a different approach to learning. I, in a sense, have never been a strict student, I have always been exploring and researching on any thing I bump into and doing so I develop my own understanding and my own approach to things in science. I don't like being told how to think of something, I think that, that bit should be left to us. But in places like college, I find that its not possible to dwell deeper into the things and befriend those topics your own way due to the small amount of time that is assigned to a particular topic. I don't like just staying in the perimeter. How on earth can curiosity have a curriculum ? I want to know the world around me my own way, I think that being institutionalized is holding me back as it doesn't let anytime for creativity and exploration. They say that I will get at a lot of time when I become a researcher to do this kind of stuff but It just doesn't resonate with me. But I am afraid that no one will let me drop out. Also, I haven't actually figured out what will I do in the long term. I also suspect that I might be running away from the mumbo jumbo of this college stuff thinking short term. I just have faith, and I know that I can learn things my own way and I think that I probably need to. Doing and learning things my own way makes me feel them. And I don't like not feeling the things I study and I don't think I can ever become great at what I do if I don't have this playful & unique access to the knowledge I possess.

Its all in your head. See for yourself.

@MarkusR All I have learned is through people, but unfortunately I have never had the opportunity to have some great people around me in real time, And yeah I might have missed a lot.

@usernameI realized few days ago that most of the socialization I do is a mere ego game. In fact, there is an ego war going out wherever you go, whomever you talk to, everyone is trying to defend and keep their ego's. In this ego mess, I never found peace. I have never met anyone with whom I can talk with all my heart and be emotionally transparent to. And the reason behind that was my own ego. Socialization beats and bruises the ego severely and that's why ego doesn't like it. I have never found a decent use of socialization to this day and I still hold that all the wisdom comes from within and very rarely people around you teaches you some noble things But now I think I may have finally found a use of going out with people and that is to dissolve the ego by practicing unconditional compassion and to be honest and truthful at every circumstance. Its way more harder than it sounds but it beats the shit out of the ego.

@Neill What do you mean today? jk

@Argue First thing is intention, But you might have already seen that even though you are pretty inclined towards certain things you don't actually do them. And the reason being that the emotion you attach to an imagination of you ,practicing that thing, is something that you despise. And you can't do for real what you can't do in your head first and like it. Ergo, if you try to imagine yourself doing that thing and tell yourself that you actually love doing that thing, it might become way easier to go out and actually do it. The thing is to actually reinforce authentic love for that practice, and for that its helpful to have your reasons as to why you love doing that thing ( even before you have actually done it), you can get enough reasons by studying books on the subject.

@Argue I transition to that state from time to time. In this stuck-state, I noticed that the things that I do are not really planned or thought about but instead just practiced out of a whim. And these states occur mostly to me at the times of confusion and lack of clarity. What you are being through is a result of vagueness. This results in a sort of slavery to the emotions and sensual pleasures and accompanies a lot of escapism. The only thing that gets me out of this anesthetic state is when I get back my clarity. When I know what I have to do right now and how to do it and I am pretty certain about it.

When I was a kid I used to be very helping to my elders and was always ready to offer any help if anyone was in need of it. The more I grew old, the more reasons and excuses got manifested inside my mind as to how people don't want to do anything for themselves and are just sneakily using me as a tool to cover what they are supposed to do. Eventually helping others became a selective premise and an exercise of the mind rather than an odyssey of the heart. Only those people were to be helped and liked who helped and liked me. Every thing suddenly had a condition like a constrained computer program. I became so much obsessed about my goals that I prioritized my time only for my own endeavors and whenever a choice came to choose between myself and others, I always selected myself. But a few months ago it all changed when accidentally I helped someone, and seeing him grateful that I helped him, I somehow felt relieved and satisfied. It was a strange paradigm shift for me and it has always been a satisfying and joyous experience ever since to provide a helping hand whenever I can. Sometimes its hard when you have certain prejudices about some people, but i always feel better whenever I choose to offer something in my possession to people unconditionally rather than being selfish and thinking about What's in it for me or This is mine, I can't give it to you or You did such and such thing to me, so I won't help you now. Its strange that somehow it has always turned out to be the right choice to help people in spite of going with any excuses that arose in opposition. I wonder how helping people, instead of being in a race with them, has worked out for you. I would love to know your views about this.

I think that love means sacrifice. When you are able to sacrifice everything for a cause or for a person without thinking twice and also without even thinking about getting any love in return (which most people don't do). I think when its not contributing towards your life purpose and not allowing you to self actualize then its probably a hoax and a waste of time.

I am an aspiring physicist, currently a physics undergrad. I watched Leo's recent video about rationality and I have a massive doubt. I am getting more concerned daily about whether my life purpose is in conflict with me attaining enlightenment. I've never seen or heard about an enlightened physicist. Maybe there is a reason behind that. Also, there is a thing Leo did not cover in his video and that is that in professions like science we work with thoughts and take them super seriously. And its not possible to simultaneously be aware of them, because by being aware and seeing them as mere stories we snatch the importance assigned to them, which is crucial to work diligently with them. Why would you think day and night about something if you are aware that the map is not the territory? Why would you want to stay in the matrix and enjoy it fully if you know that there are greater things outside of it? How do you give the same importance to thoughts after you see the beauty that exists beyond the limits of thoughts? And if you cease to value thoughts, how do you become an elite scientist who in a sense is a puppeteer of thoughts. Most scientists confuse map for territory but I think they need to, to associate importance to their work. Leo, said himself that after you become aware you don't really care about thoughts. So if you are in a profession that requires you to care, is it also required as a consequence to not be aware?

I think what he meant was that the premises we base things on and regard them as fundamental truths are mere assumptions and they are only accepted on faith. For eg. The fact that everything that goes up, comes down is regarded to be a truth but what if you wake up tomorrow and it changed. Its only said to be a rule and a truth of nature because it has always been that way, there is nothing more to it.

There is this body that's closer and all the other bodies are farther away. But that's just the nature of the universe we are in.

@Nicole2602 What is the whole world, but a model inside your head. The phrase "being everything" probably seems weird to you now because you are seeing through the lens of a character INSIDE the manifested conceptualized world in your head.