R-Type

Originally from (North) Macedonia too! Though I mostly grew up and still live in Germany. This is funny as I really didn't expect to stumble upon other people from our little balkan state! ? Pozrav

Here's the best answer I've come across on that same question. Posted by habit expert James Clear on his blog: https://jamesclear.com/new-habit

We buy the new gear, expensive tools, that cool sports clothes, a gym membership at the beginning of the year, an interesting online course or some books, with the expectation and fantasy in our head to develop that exercise routine and stick with it, start the long time planned diy home project, acquire a cool new skill, gain some interesting knowledge or at least have some fun and be content with ourselves meanwhile. The act of buying needed items already tricks our brain into a dopamine hit which comes with a feeling of excitement, as if we already accomplished something, meanwhile totally ignoring the fact that the task were about to do is going to definitely suck at some point. It's not anyone's fault as we're basically wired to 'think' like this and be biased towards our future actions. To a certain extent our economy runs on this poor reasoning skills that turn our homes into wear houses of undone ideas and projects. Beside buying stuff for our projects, even watching people doing those tasks (like how to videos on YouTube) triggers our feel good mode of accomplishment. (This was also discussed last year in an episode of the NPR show Hidden Brain) I think that this is a very common problem for all of us. Whenever I speak with someone about this topic, that person can relate and has his/her own story of fail to tell. I also think that nowadays, with the constant availability of entertainment and our inability to focus, we not only get quickly bored but also have a low tolerance for enduring boredom and failure. I have no concrete suggestion on solving this problem, being in the same struggle. But maybe a good start is to research the mechanics and complexity of the problem first. Maybe podcasts or blog posts on willpower, distraction, attention span and focus will make a good start.

Happy Birthday from the other side of the pond, Leo! Big Hugs and Best Wishes

I'd say we're living in times where most people get some degree of adhd due to poor diet and constant media stimulation. My capacity to focus, learn and articulate myself was pretty good throughout my childhood and adolescent years but that has totally flipped into the other direction. My first guess would be to unhook ourselves from compulsive eating and constant media stimuly.

Hey bud, what's wrong? Take a deep breath and tell us..

Hi Shroomdoc, I'm not an expert on the field of emotional mastery or addictions, but rather a fellow addict who spends some time thinking and researching these topics. My current view on this is close to yours, namely that most of us are dealing with a messed up nervous system, which inhibits self regulation. The causes can be numerous, like emotional or physical trauma, genetic/epigenetic passdown, poor diet, environmental toxins, cultural factors etc... The symptoms on the other hand are as numerous as the causes and can included all kinds of chronic illnesses, neuroses, addictions, depression, anxiety - what's even worse is that the symptoms themselves act as causes further down the spiral (until we somewhat hit a homeostatic state on which we keep operating long term). As everything is a symptom of the things that happened before and a cause for the thing to come after we can chase the root causes down to the big bang and before. Yet in order to find relief a closer, individual look on our situations is required. I agree with Leo, emotions are very tricky, they control our behavior and thoughts and how can we produce good results with our mind that struggles to think properly? I like the approach to read more about emotions in order to understand them better. The works of Peter Lavigne and Bessel van der Kolk, who pioneerd trauma research and the poly vagal theory, have felt pretty eye opening to me lately. Maybe youll find their work interesting too. According to them: Especially abuse and lack of love by our care givers at an early age appears to take a heavy toll on our later years. Love, acceptance and support is what our mammalian nervous systems needs almost as much as food and shelter. Maslows pyramid of needs applies well herein. Their view doesn't exclude problems that can occur by trauma later in life too (like traumas by fighting in a war zone). Along the line they also discuss several methods on how people can find relief and recovery, ie yoga, exercising, emdr, neurofeedback, communal theater and rhythms, meditation, humming... Just to name a few. The tricky question is how to apply this in a systemic way and integrate it into our lives. I have no answer on that yet. I also like the yogics systematic approach, as they see the human as a whole system which heavily include proper exercise and diet. If I had the time and money I'd go to an ayurvedic treatment clinic as a first step. Concerning beating addictions: though they are destructive on the long run, they serve a purpose, which is to calm your system down in one way or another. Dropping one can lead to heightened nervousness and the increase of the other addictions, or being confronted with depressions. I'm currently at that stage as I dropped cigarettes 3 weeks ago, and today it's kinda rough for the first time, eating habits also became worse. However I think now that breathing feels a bit better it's time to reenter yoga and running in order to further calm the nervous system down and tackle my diet next. I can only speak for myself but sds alone would not work for me at this stage. Any ideas, comments, whether agreeing or not, are welcome. We're all together in this and it's cool to help each other. Hugs, R

Beginner question: is Kriya Yoga actually a good point to start at or go to while at a beginner or intermediate level? To me it appears that my ego fell in love with the CONCEPT of enlightenment and likes the idea of Kriya as the best or fastest in order to reach that blissful state. Yet on the other hand, Kriya yoga sounds to me like it's advanced stuff and therefore rather suited to people who have advanced before and bring the right state in order to handle the difficulties that will come along. Like a training technique that gets you to the Olympics, but is not for the average Joe, that hasn't got his basic training and diet right yet... Would be cool if someone could elaborate on this. Thanks.

The good thing about Sadhguru imho is, that he also points all the time to turning inward, and that he's very focused on the basics, on 'well-being' as he says so often, which covers topics like the right food, exercise and mindset in order to enhance personal and social life. I remember in a talk he said, that if someone is aiming for more (enlightenment), that could be accomplished too and there are techniques that can be taught for that in case someone wants to go that far. But for the regular person, which is most of us, life quality can be dramatically enhanced by getting the basics right. Leo's teachings go very deep to the core and are for a very particular audience only. Sadhguru is more focused on the broad spectrum of day to day life, as he understands that it is what human life needs right now the most. It also alignes well with the spiral dynamics model if you ask me. I'm really happy that both show up publicly and spread the word. Is it the truth itself? Sure not. But good pointers...

Back to the topic, I'd say - according to Naval Ravikant - it's important to get the fundamentals right. For me it would be these: - solid understanding of psychology and sociology - solid understanding of economics and politics - solid knowledge of biology (esp human anatomy), chemistry, physics and math - systems thinking (in order to put the above together and apply to one's own life)

Is willpower an illusion? If there's no free will there can't be such a thing. So, what is there actually happening which we falsely label as willpower and how can we harness that knowledge to make positive improvements on our lives?

The Youtube Premium Show 'Mind Field' is now available for everybody until the end of the year. No Premium needed. It's a fascinating and entertaining show on how the human mind works, with lots of insights to gain from. Cheers

Great post and a good reminder to train ourselves away from the constant reasoning and rationalizing and learn to be okay again with a little uncertainty. ☺️

Why do you keep on asking broad questions and giving vague suggestions? Why not getting more specific if you know better? ?

Maybe it'll help to do physical mindfulness practices, like Hatha yoga, qi gong, Tai chi, yoga Pranayama and alike in order to stabilize and calm your nervous system. When my mind is going bonkers, trying to do mindfulness meditation feels like a waste of time and it probably is.